Girl Friends "Friend" (guy)

I’m going to make this simple, my girl friend has a “friend” that she goes out with time to time, he also has a girlfriend. I know my girl would not cheat on me, that I am certain of; I just don’t know if I should be reacting? That’s one thing and the other day I seen a message on her profile from some guy that flirts with her time to time just online, I confronted her about that, just curious who he is. Her reaction was very sour kind of like why are you so concerned? I let that slide and haven’t mentioned anything about her attitude as yet. Its not the fact that he flirts with her, it’s the fact she allows herself to be around people that disrespect that were going out.

How old are you?

rob23 said:

I’m going to make this simple, my girl friend has a “friend” that she goes out with time to time, he also has a girlfriend. I know my girl would not cheat on me, that I am certain of; I just don’t know if I should be reacting? That’s one thing and the other day I seen a message on her profile from some guy that flirts with her time to time just online, I confronted her about that, just curious who he is. Her reaction was very sour kind of like why are you so concerned? I let that slide and haven’t mentioned anything about her attitude as yet. Its not the fact that he flirts with her, it’s the fact she allows herself to be around people that disrespect that were going out.

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Jesus Christ.........

Again.





"I know she would never cheat on me."


Rob, it doesn't matter WHAT you do, or say, or think, or feel.....

"Disrespect," "jealousy," "confrontation," "curious," " concerned," "attitude," "flirt."

Those are just words, just like your POST is just words.


All talk, no understanding.




SHE'S CHEATING, dude. Get a clue. She might as well have taken an ad out in the paper, with that response: "why are you so concerned"?

SHE IS F*CKING OTHER GUYS, man. Accept it, and do whatever you wanna do. (I have my own recommendations, but I don't have all the answers. Perhaps you should ask around.)





"I know my girl would not cheat on me, that I am certain of"



That's so precious, dude. Good luck.

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Go on a double date with him and his GF. Observe how he interacts with his GF and yours.

He's probably already slept with her. If he has a gf there's only one thing he wants from yours.

He is shoplifting the pooty.

Aliasguy pretty much laid down some brutal truth right there with his post.

Sorry man but the story you gave us typically always ends in one way.

I don't agree with the guys that are saying that she's already phucking the other guy blah blah blah...

My gf has a lot of male friends that she hangs out with. They're my friends too, and I enjoy hanging out with them. SHe's out of their league, but even if they were more attractive it wouldn't bother me. I know that the statistical probability of her finding someone that looks like me has my physique, has a fun personality/sense of humor like me, my intelligence, who will treat her as well as I will is slim to none...so what do I have to worry about? I'll actually ENCOURAGE her to go out and hang with other guys just to show her how good she has it with me! If she doesn't wanna be with me, i'll never try and hold onto her...I have tons of other options.

It seems some guys on this site are so insecure, cynical and controlling of their women sometimes... I give my girl 100% freedom, because quite frankly I expect that kinda freedom too. I wanna be able to go to a club meet other women and hang out with em. I'm still friends with many of the women I've been naughty with in the past, and will hang out with em from time to time. Today I'm hanging out with a friend who openly asked me to stay overnight in a hotel room with her in another city for her company's x-mas party (she knows I'm in a commited relationship)...as long as you are true to each other, I dont' see the harm in doing in any of this stuff.

I think its stupid when guys get jealous of their girls bringing up past relationships, etc...A persons past makes him/her what he/she is today, so whats' the harm in knowing about it? If you have a problem with it, its probably because you've got insecurity issues. My gf doesn't like me talkin bout past "relationships" (girls i've hooked up with), but she understands that I don't say this kinda stuff to hurt her...its mostly just funny stories, or discussions about stuff.

Sorry about the rant...

why ask the question then if you claim the following

I know that the statistical probability of her finding someone that looks like me has my physique, has a fun personality/sense of humor like me, my intelligence, who will treat her as well as I will is slim to none.

which i will add is complete bullshat. i've said tha, others have said that and we all couldn't have been more than wrong.

Man, sometimes this board is downright pathetic. A girl's cheating because she has a guy friend? Get real, losers.

The guy even has a girlfriend for fvcks sake. You people are insecure and paranoid.

Master Bates said:

Man, sometimes this board is downright pathetic. A girl's cheating because she has a guy friend? Get real, losers.

The guy even has a girlfriend for fvcks sake. You people are insecure and paranoid.

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The only part that stands out to me is:

"Her reaction was very sour kind of like why are you so concerned?"

Mr Plow said:

The only part that stands out to me is:

"Her reaction was very sour kind of like why are you so concerned?"

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Yeah, maybe. She may have just been insulted that he thought she's possibly a cheater (a pretty harsh accusation) just because she interacts with other guys and *gasp* there are guys who flirt with her. Might as well eliminate virtually all women from your dating pool if that bothers you.

Master Bates said:

Man, sometimes this board is downright pathetic. A girl's cheating because she has a guy friend? Get real, losers.

The guy even has a girlfriend for fvcks sake. You people are insecure and paranoid.

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Couldn't agree more man...

I think from now on I'm gonna be restricting my posting to just fitness/misc. boards cuz this the kinda attitude displayed sometimes on other boards reeks of insecurity, which is a total downer.

honestly guys shes not cheating like please get that outa your mind i know her, she not just a girl friend we've been friends for 2 years before we dated so cheating isn't a concern. i actually talked to her about it yesterday and try to make her understand that if a guy is hitting on you and knows that im your boyfriend that obviously is disrespect, to me and her.
i don't care if guys chop her thats the game i mean shes hot and guys do that but if a guy were to do it infront of my face thats just pathetic. i tried making her understand that if someone disrespects her, its disrespcting me which means i don't want to be talking to you anymore.

ive notice one thing girls aren't stupid or mean or evil they just don't know how guys think they don't know if a guy visits you at work and flirts with you thats it an obvious sign of attraction, she jsut thinks hes "joking" but after our long convo everything is okay, and about the freedom lol im a club promoter im around grls everyday all day, she knows that i also know she has many guys friends im okay with that. i just need her to understand that were not friends anymore and if something is bugging me she should take concern and try to make it better. and about the guy that asked me about my age.... 21 m ca? like does that help? lol but thanks to the rest of the positive mature comments.

Master Bates said:

Man, sometimes this board is downright pathetic. A girl's cheating because she has a guy friend? Get real, losers.

The guy even has a girlfriend for fvcks sake. You people are insecure and paranoid.

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I wouldn't let my girlfriend chat and text message a guy all the time. How does that help our relationship?

If she's doing something to annoy me, she wants out and wants to see the next show.

Dude, girls do know when guys are starting to flirt. She's letting guys to flirt with her. Probably you don't complement her or the sex sucks ass!!!

rob23 said:

honestly guys shes not cheating like please get that outa your mind i know her, she not just a girl friend we've been friends for 2 years before we dated so cheating isn't a concern. i actually talked to her about it yesterday and try to make her understand that if a guy is hitting on you and knows that im your boyfriend that obviously is disrespect, to me and her.
i don't care if guys chop her thats the game i mean shes hot and guys do that but if a guy were to do it infront of my face thats just pathetic. i tried making her understand that if someone disrespects her, its disrespcting me which means i don't want to be talking to you anymore.

ive notice one thing girls aren't stupid or mean or evil they just don't know how guys think they don't know if a guy visits you at work and flirts with you thats it an obvious sign of attraction, she jsut thinks hes "joking" but after our long convo everything is okay, and about the freedom lol im a club promoter im around grls everyday all day, she knows that i also know she has many guys friends im okay with that. i just need her to understand that were not friends anymore and if something is bugging me she should take concern and try to make it better. and about the guy that asked me about my age.... 21 m ca? like does that help? lol but thanks to the rest of the positive mature comments.

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This has NOTHING to do with jealousy, "controlling" a woman (which you can't DO, anyway), being a better looking guy, or having more status than potential rival(s), or being insecure or not, or ANYTHING like that.

Whether you "let" her have guy friends, whether she HAS guy friends, whether this BOTHERS you. Whether you are a confident alpha DJ, or sniveling AFC.

NONE of this matters with regard to this question.

As I typed in my first response to this above, it doesn't matter what the OP says, thinks or does. It doesn't matter what he's said or done or thought before.

Those things may or may not have LED to this situation, but whatever the reason, one thing is clear ----- SHE'S CHEATING. (or is about to)

And DJ or AFC, there's almost no way to stop it. Once the woman is this far down the road, she's pretty much gone. Not gone as in LEAVING the bf, but "gone" with respect to fidelity. Might even be just "emotional" affair, or sexual as well, but she's gone.

The signs are there in the OP. This chick is "gone."


And i'm not saying it's his fault or her "fault." Women DO this (Guys cheat, too.)

Head in the sand won't change anything.


Call me cynical, I don't care (--I believe 'cynicism' is simply a dirty word for pattern recognition.--)

I don't even get upset about "cheating" women anymore. It's almost, to me, like there's really no such thing as "cheating." It's a construct we have burdened ourselves with because we want to believe in rainbows and butterflies in our relationships with women. Faithfulness is nearly a myth. Why believe in unicorns? Cheating's so common as to be EXPECTED.

And without unrealistic expectations, you can't be let down. Love women for who they are, and enjoy them in your life. Don't expect more from them than they can give. Don't be upset with them for being who they are.



But, that said, the OP's chick is f*cking around, or about to.


Why worry, Accept it.

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I don't see any evidence that she's cheating. I don't know why everyone's jumping the gun.

Have none of you guys ever heard of the friendzone? Isn't there a slim possibility that this girl goes out with some guy and yet does not sleep with him?

Anyways, rob23, what do you mean your girl "goes out" with him? Does that mean one-on-one, no one else invited, especially not you? Have you ever met him?

And why are you complaining to HER about some message that SOME GUY writes? Sounds like it's not her fault.

Phyzzle said:

I don't see any evidence that she's cheating. I don't know why everyone's jumping the gun.

Have none of you guys ever heard of the friendzone? Isn't there a slim possibility that this girl goes out with some guy and yet does not sleep with him?

Anyways, rob23, what do you mean your girl "goes out" with him? Does that mean one-on-one, no one else invited, especially not you? Have you ever met him?

And why are you complaining to HER about some message that SOME GUY writes? Sounds like it's not her fault.

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Yes, there IS a slim possibility (your words) that she's going out with this other guy, and not f*cking him. Slim. Your word.

WHY is she "going out" with him?

I'm not saying she SHOULDN'T, or that the OP is obliged to grill her about her activities with the other boyfriend, I'm just saying that this situation STRONGLY suggests that she's running around.

And the OP shouldn't close his eyes to this.

I'm not saying he should be mad at her, or confront her, or forbid her to date this other guy. I'm just saying that he should OPEN HIS EYES to what's going on. It's perfectly ok for him to continue on in this way if he wishes. I don't think he should have some kinda big blowout with her over this.


But, Phyzzle, your use of the word "slim" is SO telling. Think about why you wrote it that way.


ACCEPT THE TRUTH, Rob.

She's dating another man (f*cking or not as of yet, we're not certain, but if not, can it be far away?) Accept the likelihood of what's happening. Accept her as she is.

I'm not judging her (or Rob.) But one has to face facts. This girl is going out on dates with this other man. WHY?


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Rob----


Man, I looked up your prior posts about this girl. Is this the same one? The one you were friendzoned with for two years?

And then had a rocky start with? The one who, in the early months of the relationship, you were worried about because the sex frequency was low, and you weren't really sure how to proceed, and confused about how it was going?

How secure in this relationship ARE you? Are you aware of the "oneitis" factor in this?

Is the guy she's seeing on the side her EX, for christ's sake? The one you had all kindsa issues about when you two first got together?



This smells pretty bad, man.



You should NOT be having all these troubles so early in a relationship.




You ought to take a BIG step back, re-evaluate this from all angles, and decide what YOU want. Is this the girl you REALLY WANT?

I'm not saying that this is a bad relationship. I'm just saying that you need to take a COLD, HARD look at the facts.



That said, if it works, good for you. I really hope everything's ok, and you two will be happy together.




BUT------- don't get stung by the butterflies that turn into wasps, or rained all over by the dark clouds hiding behind the rainbow.

(And don't play leapfrog with that unicorn.)


OPEN YOUR EYES.


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this is ridiculous i don't understand how you can jump to such a huge conclusion from what i said lol maybe i worded what i said wrong. PEOPLE SHES NOT CHEATING, AND SHES NOT GOING TOO!!! lol if shes interested in another guy , she will break this up first before moving on to another guy believe me. thats not the issue the issue is that i give so much freedom to my girl, im asking if thats wroung? i trust her fully, as a girl friend and friend that she would not do that. how can i tell her top stop chiling with guys when my job requires me to talk to girls every weekend and mingle with them. so now you think giving freedom to my girl is the wrong thing?