Post breakup, how do you get her out of your head?

SavageKabbage

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About 1.5 weeks ago my girlfriend of 4 years left me. We had been living together for the last 3 years. No matter what I'm doing or where I'm at I can't seem to get her out of my head. Even when I'm out with my buds shooting some pool, at a club, or even dreaming I can't stop thinking about her and it sucks!

How do I get over her?

edit - New account, forgot my old login... I believe the last time I used this site was 4 years ago to get her =/
 
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SavageKabbage

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Danger said:
Incidentally, I'm curious why she left if you put the DJ mindset into practice and made it part of your life?
She made friends with several guys, and I tried to play it cool and not be the jealous type or anything. Eventually she started hanging out with guys several times a week, and even wanted to go on trips with them. I said no to the trip, but then she started hanging out with the guy till 6-7 in the morning. That's where I drew the line and gave her an ultimatum. She said she wasn't cheating, but couldn't give up her friends. We talked about it some, and kind of worked it out, but the next few months were really rocky, and she left me. I should have ended it earlier, but it's hard when you've been together for so long.
 

SavageKabbage

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Danger said:
Did you meet the guy? What were her feelings on you hanging out together with them or you going on the trip with them?

How old are the two of you?
Yes, he was actually sort of a mutual friend near the beginning of our relationship. Recently I started to work full time while she's still in school. Because of this I wouldn't even be able to go on the trip. Also, most of the time she was spending with him was during the day while I was at work.

I'm 22 now and she's 20. So it could be that we're just in slightly different parts of our lives.
 

Axcell

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I recently went through a breakup, and yes, it's somewhat depressing since thoughts of your ex-girlfriend always seem to wander your mind. My advice is to keep yourself busy doing things, continue to hang out with your friends every chance you get, and avoid sulking alone as much as possible. A DJ in this forum pointed out that getting over an ex-girlfriend is quite like trying to quit smoking: You gotta stay away from the cigarettes themselves and anything/anyone that will remind you and make you want to smoke again.

However, I do have 2 posts that I have taken from DJ's on this site and possibly other sites which I copied into a word document to re-read over and over again to help me get over my ex, it might help you as well. :)

The first one: (I take no credit for it, just to help a member on this site.)
Find comfort in this: We all thought we had "the one". It's so pervasive that seduction books even have this documented! Think about that...How is it possible that so many guys seem to have lost "the one". I mean, shouldn't it be hard to find her? If she's so hard to find, then why have we all found her, maybe even more than once!

Add to that that you often realize that she's "the one" _after_ she breaks up with you. It's just your pain playing tricks on you. You'll think back and only remember the good times, how glorious and lovely they were. You'll forget the bad times, the boredom and her bull****.

Be sure that there is no "one". There will be women who approximate what you want better than others. But probably the biggest problem is that you don't actually know what you want. For me a kickass woman would combine traits of 2 of my ex's, and yet each one independently is lacking. And yes they were "the one" too.

And yet despite the relationships i've had, I'm still not sure I know what I want. For example, I've never been with a girl who can genuinely make me laugh. Maybe if I had been, that would be an important trait for me to look for. Maybe that's just the trait I'll need in my partner when I'm 90 yrs old and pissin in a bed pan.

In any case, this is like speaking logically to a woman. You can't just come out of this through "logic". It can only take you so far. You need other things in your life to start buffering your current emotions. You need other emotions in your life that start eating away at these and leave you no time to feel or think about her.


Second post: (This one made me laugh the first time I read it, and it was probably the first time I did laugh after my girlfriend broke up with me.)

I broke up with my hs sweetheart of several years when I was 19 and thought it was the end of the world. Now she's fat, and I'm glad we're not married. Later in life, my wife of seven years divorced me, and I thought that was the end of the world. Now she's fat, and I'm glad we're not married. Recently, my gf of a year dumped me. It sucks, but in a couple years, she will be fatter, and I will be glad we're not married.

Anyway, hope I helped you out. Most DJ's in here will just tell you to go date other women. Once she finds out, her jealous genes will trigger and she'll ask for you back. And the moment this happens and you realize she wants you, you'll notice you won't want her as much anymore. ;)

Think about all the starving people in 3rd world countries and how horrible their lives are at this very moment. Soldiers are getting blown up on a daily basis because of war and many men find their spouses cheating on them. The world isn't perfect, and I completely understand you were with this girl for 4 years and you may have had a vision that this girl was completely perfect, but it wasn't. It never was. Forget her.

You're 20 something, correct? You still have your youth life to live! You seem to have quite a bit of game, and you must be attractive if you were able to pick up a girl like that. You got everything all going for you so be thankful. Everything in life happens for a reason, so who knows, maybe another chick will enter your life. Or who knows, maybe even more!

Best of luck with everything.
 

SavageKabbage

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Thanks for the awesome advice guys. I'll probably be staying away from this thread now, anything to help me forget.

I just wonder if I have any game left after 4 years without practice :eek:
 
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