The truth about a woman's sexual past

STR8UP · Nov 2, 2007

Joekerr made a comment in the "Read her diary" thread that caught my eye-

joekerr31 said:
there are a lot of lies that are unacceptable. in fact, id argue that very few lies are acceptable. one of the areas that i accept that people are going to lie about, especially women, is their sexual past.

it is such a guarantee that i strongly suggest men avoid asking about it. 99% of the time what you get will not be the truth.

I am of the FIRM belief that women have a lot to lose by disclosing their sexual past, cause most guys judge them severely based upon their perceptions. With that fact in mind it would make sense that most of the time when you confront a woman about this subject,more often than not she will be less than truthful.

My policy is "don't ask, don't tell"

I was drunk the other night (it was my birthday, I was allowed) and for some reason broke my own rule. But it was the chick who initiated the convo by first disclosing her "number".

That made me curious as to whether or not a woman who comes right out and states her number would be more truthful than one who is confronted about it.

What do you think?

I would guess that a woman who does this WOULD be more truthful, but i still wouldn't ever take it for the gospel.

This particular chick told me that she had slept with 5 guys, and she is 33 (I think). Recently another one who came straight out and told me is 21 and she said she's fukked like 27 guys or something.

I would probably more inclined to believe the one who claimed 27 when she was 21 than the one who claimed 5 when she was 33, but who knows?

edger · Nov 2, 2007

STR8UP said:
I am of the FIRM belief that women have a lot to lose by disclosing their sexual past, cause most guys judge them severely based upon their perceptions. With that fact in mind it would make sense that most of the time when you confront a woman about this subject,more often than not she will be less than truthful.

If there's any one thing that turns me off about a chick, it's a chick who hasn't had much of a sexual past(unless she was in serious relationships which prevented her from having more sexual partners). A promiscuous woman is a major turn-on..it embraces womanhood. A true feminine woman is promiscuous. The guys who don't want anything to do with 'em, well hey, more for me.

aliasguy · Nov 2, 2007

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STR8UP----

Dude, what does this matter? 21,27,31,17,40,22,18,23? Girls are girls. Ages don't matter.

I was exchanging emails(i know,everyone, I'm sorry, email is kinda weak, but for this one, it's OK) with this chick earlier this evening. She was pissed because this guy had hit on her, and not "come through." (She's married.) And I felt bad for her, and commiserated. It was almost like a failed pickup for this other guy, but worse, because she has a lot to lose.

The stupid guy just DROPPED the ball. And she was HURT. REALLY. I'll
probably be able to sweep in and pick up the pieces this weekend, but she seemed so sad about it all. She's 7 years younger than me, but none of that matters. I'm gonna get her, while her husband, and this other guy AREN'T.

All this kinda stuff happens all the time. I never KNEW before. I'm having fun. Jophil, et. al., probably hate me, but I don't care.

Anyway, the point is, this girl told me she felt "guilty" about that other guy (who DIDN'T f*ck her) but not ME. And I WILL. Tomorrow nite. HA.
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joekerr31 · Nov 2, 2007

aliasguy said:
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Anyway, the point is, this girl told me she felt "guilty" about that other guy (who DIDN'T f*ck her) but not ME. And I WILL. Tomorrow nite. HA.
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boooo

lookyoung · Nov 2, 2007

I would not want to know a girls past. Would it bother me if the girl I wanted to marry fvcked 100 guys? Your damn right it would.

Asking a girl how many guys she slept with is ridiculous. She will never tell you the truth.

Like Chris rock said. Girls only count there boyfriends. They don't count the guy they fvcked in jamaica or the guy that they fvcked the same night after meeting him at the club.

MikeYikes122 · Nov 2, 2007

aliasguy said:
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Dude, what does this matter? 21,27,31,17,40,22,18,23? Girls are girls. Ages don't matter.

He wasn't bragging or being facetious. He was saying their ages to make a point.

ketostix · Nov 2, 2007

This particular chick told me that she had slept with 5 guys, and she is 33 (I think). Recently another one who came straight out and told me is 21 and she said she's fukked like 27 guys or something.

I would probably more inclined to believe the one who claimed 27 when she was 21 than the one who claimed 5 when she was 33, but who knows?

I would tend to believe the 21 year old, and I would tend to think a woman that is 33 knows better than to reveal a number that is too "high". I tend to think younger women are more honest than older women.

I agree with you that it's usually pointless to ask because I wouldn't believe her anway. I would like to know the number of guys she's been with, I'd like to know everything I could find out about a woman, but I don't bother asking them a lot of question because in my experience women "lie" about a lot of things they do related to men and relationships and can't be believed.

I think one has to interpret/discover things about a woman from observing her actions through time, not by asking her direct questions.

STR8UP · Nov 2, 2007

aliasguy said:
STR8UP----

Dude, what does this matter? 21,27,31,17,40,22,18,23? Girls are girls. Ages don't matter.

Noooo.....I wasn't meaning to imply that it mattered. I know better than that on a conscious level.

I will however admit that I don't WANT to know. It's better that the questions be left up in the air. If she gives me a low number proportionate to her age and relationship status, I might be inclined to wonder if she is hiding something. If she gives me a high number (as with the 21 yr old) in the back of my mind I will judge her subconsciously. I don't WANT to judge her because it really doesn't matter, all that matters is the present, but it's tough to shake that completely even if you know better.

I was exchanging emails(i know,everyone, I'm sorry, email is kinda weak, but for this one, it's OK) with this chick earlier this evening. She was pissed because this guy had hit on her, and not "come through." (She's married.) And I felt bad for her, and commiserated. It was almost like a failed pickup for this other guy, but worse, because she has a lot to lose.

The stupid guy just DROPPED the ball. And she was HURT. REALLY.

That's another interesting point.

What was that quote from that link someone someone (keto??) posted awhile back?

A woman will sometimes forgive a man who presses an opportunity but never a man who misses one?

Awesome, awesome quote. That sums up my experiences with probably more than a dozen women in my lifetime. Hell, probably TWO dozen.

I'm gonna get her, while her husband, and this other guy AREN'T.

Yep, a woman who doesn't FEEL like she is getting what she needs from a relationship will seek it elsewhere, married or not.

Even if it's simply attention and validation. But it often starts that way, then leads to sex. A woman gets so caught up in the rush of FEELING again that and convictions she has can easily be thrown out the window to be justified later.

And I wonder if you do fukk this woman, if you would be included in her "number" when some other dumb ass schmuck decides he needs to "know" before he dates her, hehe....

All this kinda stuff happens all the time. I never KNEW before. I'm having fun. Jophil, et. al., probably hate me, but I don't care.

Anyway, the point is, this girl told me she felt "guilty" about that other guy (who DIDN'T f*ck her) but not ME. And I WILL. Tomorrow nite. HA.

When you finally see it, doesn't it seem like light has been shed on a secret society that existed all along that you never knew existed?

But some people will argue that these are all simply "low quality" women. Which they are correct, to a point. but they don't account for the fact that it is much more prevalent than anyone would LIKE to believe, cloaked by a veil of secrecy that maintains "appearances" to satisfy society.

Back to the "number" subject.....

My dad used to say when bidding a job in business you always take your best guess as to what you think it will cost you, and add 20%. If it still looks profitable, go for it.

With the average woman I would bet that you could safely add 20% to get a more accurate number. Factor in her non-intercourse sexual experiences (blowing half the football team one night, taking it up the ass cause she didn't want her cherry popped, letting some guy finger her in the bathroom at a party) you could probably add upwards of 50%.

Man, if I counted all of my non-intercourse sexual experiences my number would be a LOT higher. I can't even begin to tell you how many pu$$ies my finger(s) have been in, or how many blow jobs I have gotten without sex.

To anyone who "cares" about a woman's number.....would it be ok if she had only had intercourse with two guys, but had "messed around" with two dozen?

I know a girl who is EXACTLY like that. I've made out with her, fingered her, etc., but she won't give it up. It's probably cause my buddy is fukking her (she's his ex) but the point is she can (probably) honestly say that she has only had intercourse with two guys, but she has been intimate with many more.

Incidentally.....this chick is a FREAK. She isn't shy about telling me that she LOVES to take it up the ass and whatnot.

Funny, these women!

speed dawg · Nov 2, 2007

STR8UP said:
Incidentally.....this chick is a FREAK. She isn't shy about telling me that she LOVES to take it up the ass and whatnot.

Funny, these women!

I fukked one of these when I was in college. Up the ass, that is. Alot. I violated that mother fukker. I feel sorry for who ever she dated or married since then, knowing what I did to her.

But the kicker......she called herself a "virgin". Or at least a pvssy virgin.

STR8UP · Nov 2, 2007

speed dawg said:
I fukked one of these when I was in college. Up the ass, that is. Alot. I violated that mother fukker. I feel sorry for who ever she dated or married since then, knowing what I did to her.

But the kicker......she called herself a "virgin". Or at least a pvssy virgin.

Anyone who thinks she's gonna count this in her "number" is seriously delusional. Perfect example of a woman having sex that "doesn't count".

Latinoman · Nov 2, 2007

Man past that matters; if he had a criminal past (such as conman, drug addiction, woman beater, etc.) or if he cheated multiple times on wives and fiancés.

A woman past when it comes to sexual and moral standpoint is VERY important when choosing a woman for a long term relationship or a wife. We never go on a date assuming that woman is going to be our future wife. However, that’s a big mistake in our part because that’s the perfect time to gather enough information about that woman’s past. You don’t ask directly…you simply listen.

I have been around for a very long time as I was married very young (and consequently, have been around a LOT of married couples). Some of those people married young and others married older. So, I was able to see many marriages lasting a few months and others lasting 10 or 15+ years. And more often than not…the ones that relationship failed due to a woman cheating have been those in which a woman had a certain past that defies the threadshold of decency based on what society (for centuries) expect and what mothers and fathers alike have taught little girls. Once a woman reaches certain threadshold, you can expect her to at least revert a notch or two when things don’t go certain ways.

If a woman has a shaky past and you still pick her as your lifetime partner…at least, as a DJ you do so understanding that you will have to put a little more effort (even sacrifice some things) in order to avoid getting into a situation. Nothing wrong picking a woman that had a shaky past…the important thing are understanding what you are getting into and what might it take to make things work.

I think is VERY foolish to “invest” in a marriage without knowing the historical aspects of her life (or at least, without having a very good idea). You don’t invest a fortune in a business, without doing your homework first. Marriage is a business too…but with a LOT more to lose.

Sure…many of you think that when you date, you don’t do it thinking you are going to marry. Big mistake! Always approach every woman in a date as the woman you might end up falling in love and marrying. That will allow you to think more clearly and pay a lot of attention to what she has to do. This works wonders with women that are under 35 as they tend to talk too much (especially in the dating stages). Older women are better at deceiving as they are in “desperate” mode. Many men find themselves falling in love and it is then too late as the opportunity to truly listen is gone.

STR8UP · Nov 2, 2007

We ALL qualify potential mates, men included.

But I judge on overall character, not on the number of sex partner's she has had that is likely untrue anyway.

The one chick I dated who had the most character I'm sure did lots of things outside of what mommies and daddies teach their little girls

First of all, she likes chicks too. Second of all, we started as roommates and by the second or third night I was there she was showing me her pierced nipples. Withing a week we were fukking like bunny rabbits.

The thing is, if I felt that ANY of my past partners would have been faithful to me, it was her. If I judged her based upon her sexual past and her sexual preferences, I wouldn't have dated her for a year. Met her parents....some of the nicest people you would ever meet. Perfect examples of a happily married couple.

So be very careful HOW you judge a woman. Societal influence can cause you to pass judgment unfairly and incorrectly.

Drum&Bass · Nov 2, 2007

Sex is sex...If your an attractive person and have the ability to hook with other people who you find attractive, its human nature to do so.

Man past that matters; if he had a criminal past (such as conman, drug addiction, woman beater, etc.) or if he cheated multiple times on wives and fiancés.

A woman past when it comes to sexual and moral standpoint is VERY important when choosing a woman for a long term relationship or a wife.

A wife beater is NOWHERE NEAR the same as a single attractive girl that has a lot of sex.

I think is VERY foolish to “invest” in a marriage without knowing the historical aspects of her life

LOL how...Insecure..lets not try to candy coat what you really mean..You shouldn't be thinking marriage unless OTHER MORE IMPORTANT FACTORS have attracted you to a woman to begin with. What does her sexual past have to do with her morals, goals and accomplishments ?

Sure…many of you think that when you date, you don’t do it thinking you are going to marry. Big mistake!

NOT a big mistake...unless your a guy who wants to get married, dating shouldn't be a chore. Hopefully if your a mature man, you will learn to see signs and judge people by their actions, to make a decision as to how you will handle any future encounters.

...and Hopefully your man enough to walk away from a situation your not obligated to be in at any given point in time.

p.s. Don't be afraid to fall in love and get hurt..just don't be stupid and lock yourself into something that you may or may not care about as you continue growing as a human.

DavenJuan · Nov 2, 2007

originally posted by STR8Up
I am of the FIRM belief that women have a lot to lose by disclosing their sexual past, cause most guys judge them severely based upon their perceptions. With that fact in mind it would make sense that most of the time when you confront a woman about this subject,more often than not she will be less than truthful.

just as in business, personal appearance, careers, and even relationships...at the end of the day..perception is reality.

if you subject yourself to base your opinion on how many ppl she/he sleeps with, then you call the game quits before it even started.

i agree that when you ask a women this question she will be less than truthful, but like i stated before in the other thread...based on how she answers this question, whether you expect a real answer or not, can still reveal a ton

Centaurion · Nov 2, 2007

For me whenever I get involved with a women, I start with a clean page. It really doesn't bother me how many guys she's had sex with as long as she is faithfull to me. Of course, past experience can give a guidline for her future behaviour, but I will not open up that can of worms and start digging into her sexual past. Remember, ignorance is bliss.

If she asks me how many women I've slept with, I'll tell her "a few" and leave it at that. Funny thing, the other night I sat down and made a list over the number of women I've slept with and it was 74. And I'm a chubby guy

. It is not unreasonable to think that a good portion of the women out there probably has slept around the ballpark of the high fifties.

Latinoman · Nov 2, 2007

Drum&Bass said:
A wife beater is NOWHERE NEAR the same as a single attractive girl that has a lot of sex.

Repeat offenders. That’s the point I’m trying to make.

LOL how...Insecure..lets not try to candy coat what you really mean..

In the last 20 years of my life, I have had a sexual partner (or phucked a woman), at least ONCE per week. That is, in the last 1,040 weeks of my life! I have been married…been single…been in relationships. And I can assure you is not a handful of women either.

You shouldn't be thinking marriage unless OTHER MORE IMPORTANT FACTORS have attracted you to a woman to begin with.

No are not thinking about marriage…what you are doing is approaching things LIKE IF IT WAS a marriage. You have a little window of opportunity to catch the information required…and that window is typically within the first 2 or 3 dates.

What does her sexual past have to do with her morals, goals and accomplishments ?

I don’t know…why don’t you tell me based on your ROBUST experience? You think to ACT like you have all this experience. But reading your past posts…I already KNOW your experience is very limited when it comes to relationships or women.

NOT a big mistake...unless your a guy who wants to get married, dating shouldn't be a chore.

MANY of the men that got married…are men that “did not want to get married”. But they “met the perfect woman”.

Hopefully if your a mature man, you will learn to see signs and judge people by their actions, to make a decision as to how you will handle any future encounters.

This statement is a CLEAR indication you have no clue or knowledge of what you are talking about.

...and Hopefully your man enough to walk away from a situation your not obligated to be in at any given point in time.

It is “you’re” not “your”.

p.s. Don't be afraid to fall in love and get hurt..just don't be stupid and lock yourself into something that you may or may not care about as you continue growing as a human.

You are 27 and have not lived a fraction of what I have. Save the philosophical thoughts for somebody else.

penkitten · Nov 2, 2007

STR8UP said:
I would probably more inclined to believe the one who claimed 27 when she was 21 than the one who claimed 5 when she was 33, but who knows?

i am more inclined to believe the second chick over the first, but then the big question is "how long did she date each man"?
if she dated each of the 5 men for 3 years , the math works out.
then perhaps she is a good girl, who is not lying, whereas the second girl had 27 encounters by the age of 21 and has got to be some easy free spirit...

STR8UP · Nov 4, 2007

penkitten said:
i am more inclined to believe the second chick over the first, but then the big question is "how long did she date each man"?
if she dated each of the 5 men for 3 years , the math works out.
then perhaps she is a good girl, who is not lying, whereas the second girl had 27 encounters by the age of 21 and has got to be some easy free spirit...

Well, FWIW she told me she was in a relationship for 9 years.

I'm assuming this was her marriage (she is divorced).

I still wouldn't consider 5 to be a lot, but like I said....does it really matter?

penkitten · Nov 4, 2007

STR8UP said:
.does it really matter?

although it never mattered to me , i did date a guy or two that wanted to know everything you ever did, and then once you told them what they wanted to know, they couldn't handle the information and went crazy nuts, leaving your entire relationship ruined.
and that is coming from me, whom i believe to be mild compared to my friends.

my husband and i have this no ask no tell policy. neither of us really wants to hear any of the gory details of something either of us did in the past with any one else. it is just so much easier this way.

aliasguy · Nov 4, 2007

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I never brought it up, but my ex-wife pumped me for information about my history. (When we were dating.)

I pretty much laid it out straight. She seemed unhappy.

So, then, I asked, "What about you?" (Stupid move.)

She proceeded to give me a COMPLETELY whitewashed account of her past, which eventually became apparent to me as a big ol' pack of lies.

I agree with "don't ask, don't tell."

Why give someone an incentive to lie?

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The truth about a woman's sexual past

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