I am new here and I will probably be laughed at with all my problems as I am about the farthest thing from a DJ there is. My life story, I was a virgin until I was 28 and then had a on again off again relationship with a woman that could probably be considered psycho. She was fairly good looking and I wanted to lose my virginity so bad at the time I put up with her psycho stuff, and then I got horrible oneitis for her after I did. She is also one of those women who gets neurotically attached to guys and I never told her I was a virgin. But I didn't know how to handle the relationship very well and now looking back I recognize that I did some pretty AFC stuff myself even though she was still far from perfect. She ended up eventually losing attraction for me and used me when I should have not allowed her to.
Anyway when it finally ended once and for all I was a broken man, I was depressed and put on alot of weight(this is long before I found this place or knew any of this stuff).
For awhile I didn't even try with women again, and earlier this year I started a job in a different city and know virtually no one here. I have been spending the last month and a half trying to get in shape, I was about 50 pounds overweight and I have lost about 10 pounds since I started exercising and eating healthier, but I have a long way to go still. So now I am stuck in a town where I only have one good friend who is married with kids, nice guy but I don't go clubbing together for obvious reasons, not that I was ever good at getting women that way anyway.
So the fact that I am now in my 30's, don't know hardly anyone around my age who is single, and some other problems which I will explain in a minute, I decided to try the online dating thing. I have some reasonably attractive photos from before I gained all this weight, I put those online and got a few responses, but even then the majority of women I wrote to did not reply back. However, the first real life meeting she obviously was not into me, the second one lasted for all of 5 minutes before she told me she keeps first meetings short and left, and the third one just this weekend I was a little more hopeful. I thought she would reject me out of hand like the other two did because I still need to lose more weight to look good. She came across as really friendly and I thought we had a good convo going. She even laughed at some of my jokes, the kind of laugh I thought they did when they are interested. I decided to cut it short at just over an hour because I didn't want to ruin what I thought was a good thing, and I would figure out something to do for next weekend and call her later. I decided we could go to a local art museum since she mentioned that as one of the things she liked to do. I call her this evening and she apologizes and tells me that she didn't feel any attraction, and thought I felt the same way since I cut the meeting. I totally misread her, needless to say. But I am frustrated that in person meetings are not working out.
There are a couple of extra challenges that I think most of you don't have to deal with and probably make it really difficult for women to be attracted to me. I have ADHD and take medication for it, so sometimes it may appear I am not paying attention, I don't know for sure. Worse yet, I have a nervous eye tic that is associated with a very mild form of tourettes(not all tourettes people blurt out cusswords, those are only extreme cases). It is not all the time but it does often act up when I am nervous, such as public speaking or..not surprisingly... meeting women, which is the worst possible time for it to act up but I have little control over it and most of the time not even aware I am doing it. I think this may actually play a big part in why I am such a horrible seducer in person. Women are probably creeped out by it.
Conversely, I have developed my writing skills to the point that I think I am better writing then i am in person, which may also disappoint some of them when I meet them in person. Because of my past conditioning I am also shy at first meeting and it takes a little while to warm up to a woman. Really, I don't know what exactly I am doing wrong but it is something, I am also only about 5'81/2" so I am not particularly tall but I have a reasonably good looking face and look okay when I am not overweight. And I have read a large chunk of the DJ Bible and it has opened my eyes to alot of stuff, but I am still having this problem even though I am learning the basics, and I still lack confidence.
I have a few positive attributes, like I am a talented artist and photographer, and I am well educated, but I don't know if that matters much. It seems like I have so many problems and am in such a horrible position to meet women I don't really know if I can get to the point where I am attractive at all to women. I am also fighting depression and am taking Wellbutrin SR which helps a little bit. I imagine after telling you all this some of you will be happy that I will probably be removed from the gene pool, and I can understand why but I am still horny and want to meet women, I can't help that I have feelings for women and want to act on them. I guess women are doing a fairly good job of removing me from the gene pool whether I like it or not.
Anyway when it finally ended once and for all I was a broken man, I was depressed and put on alot of weight(this is long before I found this place or knew any of this stuff).
For awhile I didn't even try with women again, and earlier this year I started a job in a different city and know virtually no one here. I have been spending the last month and a half trying to get in shape, I was about 50 pounds overweight and I have lost about 10 pounds since I started exercising and eating healthier, but I have a long way to go still. So now I am stuck in a town where I only have one good friend who is married with kids, nice guy but I don't go clubbing together for obvious reasons, not that I was ever good at getting women that way anyway.
So the fact that I am now in my 30's, don't know hardly anyone around my age who is single, and some other problems which I will explain in a minute, I decided to try the online dating thing. I have some reasonably attractive photos from before I gained all this weight, I put those online and got a few responses, but even then the majority of women I wrote to did not reply back. However, the first real life meeting she obviously was not into me, the second one lasted for all of 5 minutes before she told me she keeps first meetings short and left, and the third one just this weekend I was a little more hopeful. I thought she would reject me out of hand like the other two did because I still need to lose more weight to look good. She came across as really friendly and I thought we had a good convo going. She even laughed at some of my jokes, the kind of laugh I thought they did when they are interested. I decided to cut it short at just over an hour because I didn't want to ruin what I thought was a good thing, and I would figure out something to do for next weekend and call her later. I decided we could go to a local art museum since she mentioned that as one of the things she liked to do. I call her this evening and she apologizes and tells me that she didn't feel any attraction, and thought I felt the same way since I cut the meeting. I totally misread her, needless to say. But I am frustrated that in person meetings are not working out.
There are a couple of extra challenges that I think most of you don't have to deal with and probably make it really difficult for women to be attracted to me. I have ADHD and take medication for it, so sometimes it may appear I am not paying attention, I don't know for sure. Worse yet, I have a nervous eye tic that is associated with a very mild form of tourettes(not all tourettes people blurt out cusswords, those are only extreme cases). It is not all the time but it does often act up when I am nervous, such as public speaking or..not surprisingly... meeting women, which is the worst possible time for it to act up but I have little control over it and most of the time not even aware I am doing it. I think this may actually play a big part in why I am such a horrible seducer in person. Women are probably creeped out by it.
Conversely, I have developed my writing skills to the point that I think I am better writing then i am in person, which may also disappoint some of them when I meet them in person. Because of my past conditioning I am also shy at first meeting and it takes a little while to warm up to a woman. Really, I don't know what exactly I am doing wrong but it is something, I am also only about 5'81/2" so I am not particularly tall but I have a reasonably good looking face and look okay when I am not overweight. And I have read a large chunk of the DJ Bible and it has opened my eyes to alot of stuff, but I am still having this problem even though I am learning the basics, and I still lack confidence.
I have a few positive attributes, like I am a talented artist and photographer, and I am well educated, but I don't know if that matters much. It seems like I have so many problems and am in such a horrible position to meet women I don't really know if I can get to the point where I am attractive at all to women. I am also fighting depression and am taking Wellbutrin SR which helps a little bit. I imagine after telling you all this some of you will be happy that I will probably be removed from the gene pool, and I can understand why but I am still horny and want to meet women, I can't help that I have feelings for women and want to act on them. I guess women are doing a fairly good job of removing me from the gene pool whether I like it or not.
