My Story: I WAS a Grade AA AFC...not anymore

Hey Guy,

We've ALL been there.

Let me tell you tell a quick version of my story:

I'm a good looking guy (I usually get 8's and 9's on WhosHot, rating sites, etc.), own my own business, have an outgoing personality, funny/find a lot of humor in life, etc. So every girl should be wild for me, right? Wrong.

About 5 years ago I met this girl 12 years younger. She was infatuated with me. She also looked like a Playboy centerfold; I mean a solid 9.5/10. I was playing it cool with her, teasing her a lot, using humor, etc., all stuff that came natural—really didn’t care all that much. Then, what started out as a fling, became more (I really started caring about her) so I started "acting" differently. I started telling her how I felt about her, I would call her all the time, I would try to monopolize her time, I would work out right next to her at the gym we both belonged to; helping her with every set she did. I totally smothered her and would get wild when other guys showed interest in her.

You get the picture.

This went on for 3-4 mos. (Looking back, I'm shocked she hung in there THAT long).

Then, I noticed she was acting "funny." The sex stopped, I would get her VM a lot. We began to squabble more. I remember one time she went skiing with her friends. I tried calling her at 9, 9:30, 10:30, 11, 11:30 PM--and no answer. She called the next evening after work saying they hit a snow storm and it took them longer to get home. I went ballistic and said something like, "Look, (name) if you REALLY care about someone you call them no matter what!" And I hung up.

Two days later we broke up and I was F-ing DEVASTATED. I went to a psychologist, I bought every (AFC-type) relationship book I could find (a lot of John Gray stuff), and then depression set in (I'm laughing my arse off right now as I type this but I'm 100% serious on all this stuff).

I never called her or had contact with her again, but the feelings stuck SOLID for at least 6 months after the breakup, if not more.

Looking back, I was an absolute 110% US Grade AA King AFC.

Then, after Googling some sites on how to get over a breakup (what a f-ing WUSS I was—LOL), I found a site called AskMen.com and started reading stuff from Doc Love, Dave DeAngelo, Swinggcat, and also found SoSuave.com.

Every time I would read an article I would cringe because of how WRONG I was playing things. It was PAINFUL to read. BUT, I also became a DJ-sponge soaking up as much info as I could.

I swore I would NEVER, EVER, let a woman do that to me again.

And I haven't.

It took maybe 3-4 months to really learn the DJ basics and another year or so to get good. I (still) cherry pick the best of the best from the best and use my own experiences—this is my SYSTEM—and it WORKS.

Fast forward 4 years later to July 2007: I am a Frocking Alpha Male, DJ who comes here because he wants to get even better. I have not had a chick dump me since that fateful day way back in March of 2003. I have dated mega-hot chicks from Ecuador, Mexico, Tanzania, US, and now Croatia, been in LTR’s, call all the shots, and have chicks eating out my hand—all because I took charge, endured the painful changes I needed to make, improved myself, and continue to improve myself. I don't win them all, but I win most of the time.

I know this all sounds really ****y (maybe even arrogant), but it’s true.

Because of that single negative event, I am a 100% changed man all for the better. I cannot thank that dumb, silicone-pumped, biaatch enough for dumping my sorry arse because I would still be a King AFC had she not.

Now, I have so much confidence in my game and myself, I help many people and friends with their dating dilemmas—but only if they WANT me to. Most still don't get it, some do, and some I turned into future DJs.

Use this event, my man, as a stepping stone to bigger and better things. That single event changed my life forever because now I'm the Alpha Male/DJ that hid in AFC skin for all those years.

Good luck.

Dash

Dash Riprock said:

Email me in my SoSuave.com mailbox if I can be of more help to you.

Good luck.

Dash

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LOL. What are you selling? And how much does it cost?

Absolutely nothing--I've removed that line. Some people don't like to go public with certain questions.

I waited a long time to make that post but feel that there are a lot of AFCs who needed to hear a SOLID bootstrap-your-way-to-success story.

DR

Good story. It's flawed how it works though. As soon as you care, it's over. How dumb is that? If a guy can't show a girl a little geniune want-to-date her interest in the beginng, then she is not quality LTR material. In your example, it is obvious what happened.

I've also had several HB 9 and 10 twelve year younger girls infatuated with me. The minute i start showing some stability or even a hint that i'm LTR material, they're gone. When i didn't care, they were doing the craziest things sometimes to get my attention.

The moral of the story, let her care more about you first and never get too attached to these types.

For you guys in your early twenties, teasing is flirting to girls in this age range. When you tease them, they know you want them, but doesn't come across as geninue interest.

I think it should be said that 90% of guys on these boards are nice guys burned by naughty girls. You drag it on with her because when not caring, she wants you to care. When she eventually has
you, she elopes onto someone else. In most instances, these dragged out LTRs start as ONSs.

When you become dependent is when you feel you're losing control. In other words, you feel her drifting, yet can't figure out why, so you cling to her for fear of the inevitable. Her promiscuis mode
is coming to fruition.

Girls who put out too soon should be dumped right away. You don't do that, and you're on a path
to SoSuave, which may not be a bad thing.

Good for you then.. yes it is an inspirational story. I am sure the first part of it where you became the AFC is all too common on this board and that is what brought a lot of people here...

Something similar happened to me.. I was dating a hot 19 year old czech girl for a year.. I got too afc and dependent on her.. after she broke up with me I went into a tailspin. I am not where you are at yet, but I am clawing my way back.....

It's flawed how it works though. As soon as you care, it's over. How dumb is that? If a guy can't show a girl a little genuine want-to-date her interest in the beginning, then she is not quality LTR material.

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Yeah, it is kind of messed up but it's the way women are wired so we need to get used to it and play it to OUR advantage.

The first 60-90 days are golden. It sets the standard as to how the entire relationship will work. Most guys mess up WAY before then.

After this "Intro" period, a guy can back off some w/o becoming an AFC. Remember, you did a great job of setting the standard so now you just need to maintain it. The (3) Cornerstones I follow whether I've been with her for 4 weeks or 4 years are:

1-Confidence (good attitude, humor, c&f, I'm the QB, a leader, etc.)
2-Control (self control, not a controlling personality)
3-Challenge (this is where 99% of AFCs screw up)

Practice these three things with your woman--always--and she'll throw herself in front of a train for you--even if you look like Tom Arnold.

Really focus on improving yourself through self-help/motivational books, CDs, whatever and a lot of the DJ techniques will become even clearer. Try material from Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Stephen Covey, & Zig Ziglar. Stay away from the Zen-types and Mars/Venus stuff for self improvement. John Gray DOES know women well, so on that front he's good, but he's WAAYYY out in right field on how guys should handle dating and women (especially hot ones).

Dash Riprock said:

Yeah, it is kind of messed up but it's the way women are wired so we need to get used to it and play it to OUR advantage.

The first 60-90 days are golden. It sets the standard as to how the entire relationship will work. Most guys mess up WAY before then.

After this "Intro" period, a guy can back off some w/o becoming an AFC. Remember, you did a great job of setting the standard so now you just need to maintain it. The (3) Cornerstones I follow whether I've been with her for 4 weeks or 4 years are:

1-Confidence (good attitude, humor, c&f, I'm the QB, a leader, etc.)
2-Control (self control, not a controlling personality)
3-Challenge (this is where 99% of AFCs screw up)

Practice these three things with your woman--always--and she'll throw herself in front of a train for you--even if you look like Tom Arnold.

Really focus on improving yourself through self-help/motivational books, CDs, whatever and a lot of the DJ techniques will become even clearer. Try material from Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Stephen Covey, & Zig Ziglar. Stay away from the Zen-types and Mars/Venus stuff for self improvement. John Gray DOES know women well, so on that front he's good, but he's WAAYYY out in right field on how guys should handle dating and women (especially hot ones).

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agreed. John gray is a pussified guru, just look at hhis crotch (no homo) I bet you don't see anything there. He know women well because now he's one of them.

Tony Robbins has the best material out there for self improvement. You can just tell the guy is MAJOR DJ too.

Hey, more power to him...