Intelligence in males = disadvantage?

Although intelligence clearly has a demonstrable advantage in business (and for survival in general), intelligence in males has shown, by personal experience , to be a considerable disadvantage while seeking a mate. I am curious if this is indeed a universal truth, or merely a regional phenomenon?

I found a study performed by the Social Sciences department at the University of Bristol, which suggests a statistical 35% decrease in the likelihood of mating for each positive deviation increase in intelligence (16 IQ points). Thus in my case, this would reflect a 192.5% chance that I will never find a mate. It appears that in general, most women prefer men who are both dumb, and brutish.

This trend is probably instinctive, rooted deeply in an ancient evolutionary survival advantage; for if you mate with a strong brutish man, you will produce strong brutish offspring, those better able to survive. Logically, even today, this still makes evolutionary sense, for on the playground, as well as in adult life, the strong and ruthless are always in charge, and thus command majority control over all human wealth and resources. One never hears reports of dumb brutish kids (bullies) being picked on, or domineered by nerds!

So what is the general consensus out there? Is there really little hope for intelligent men?

I think you're looking way too into this. It has nothing to do with women being attracted to dumber men. On the contrary women are attracted to SMART men. The problem is probably an "ignorance is bliss" thing. The dumber or less intellectual you are, the less you're going to overthink things, like approaching women.

Master Bates said:

The dumber or less intellectual you are, the less you're going to overthink things, like approaching women.

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Excellent point.
Intelligent men are prudent.
They think and anlayze everything.
Intelligent men are rational and reasonable.
Intelligent men see aggression as a BLIND STUPIDITY.
They don't realize that though this is TRUE.
Hot babes today are turned on by these BEHAVIORS.

The reason those statistics read the way they do is because the higher IQ = the bigger nerd. The majority of high IQ people were bullied/teased or whatever since they first started school, and the majority NEVER recover from it. I've never regarded people who demonstrate almost genius standards in academics as smart.. socialising is a bigger part of life than academics, and most of these people fail in the social arena. Therefore, they are not smart, merely very good at one particular aspect in life, just as the jock who is dumb in academics is smart in socialising.

The ultimate DJ has to be smart and sociable.

I think you're looking way too into this. It has nothing to do with women being attracted to dumber men. On the contrary women are attracted to SMART men. The problem is probably an "ignorance is bliss" thing. The dumber or less intellectual you are, the less you're going to overthink things, like approaching women.

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I agree with your statement up to a point. Let me elaborate on this concept. Women prefer to talk, thus prefer to talk to an intelligent man, so long as he is not significantly more intelligent than her.

Have you heard of what some people term "polyamory"? Most women, especially beautiful women, see nothing wrong with polyamory, so long as they are the only one who is polyamorous. Most nerds (myself included) are without reservation, turned OFF by this behavior.

Right now I have a close female friend who clearly thinks the world of me, but her actual boyfriend is a dumb but great looking blue eyed blond. He is younger, and has many flaws, including unemployment, fiscal irresponsibility, and so on -- but obviously makes an excellent "trophy". The triad which exists between us; operates thusly. She spends most of her time with this hunky but dumb and irresponsible guy, but calls me on the phone whenever she is in the need of intelligent conversation. I willingly comply with this arrangement, as it is the only meaningful relationship that I have, and for the moment, the only vocal interaction that I have with a female, whom I find attractive.

If an intelligent guy is too naive to realize that an attractive personality plays a larger part than IQ, I'd question just how beneficial his IQ may be in the real world.

thomasM said:

Have you heard of what some people term "polyamory"? Most women, especially beautiful women, see nothing wrong with polyamory, so long as they are the only one who is polyamorous. Most nerds (myself included) are without reservation, turned OFF by this behavior.

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I'm not sure if you are correct with "most" women... just to say that...


As for the OP, the only reason why higher intelligence men have larger difficulties, is due to the face that they (we?) then to overanalyize, avoid risks, and avoid building social skills.

Hmmm interesting feedback.......but theres a rumor that goes like this, for every IQ point over 110 a man's chance to solidify a meaniful sexcapade decreases by almost 3 percent. Attraction is never black & white....it's counter-intuitive and falls into the grey area. Most Intelligent men cannot think in the grey zone.....there in lies the parodox. Mensa wannabe's extract knowledge from books n school. Not too many people teaching how to pick up women. Smart people are used to getting A's, hitting on women and one might get rejected and to an aspiring Eienstein, that rejection is a failure.....totally unacceptable.

It's only when the mind opens to free thinking does attraction have a chance.

E=MC2 but never leads to attraction.

Alot of us on here are Mensa intel. Pook, Anti-Dump, Senior-Fingers .. all very highly intelligent people. They used it to their advantage, i'm using to my advantage and you must do the same.

Transform your wit into charm and humor.

Intelligent women like intelligent men. Period.

Dumb women like dumb men. Period.

Women are relational, the more intelligent she is, the more she can relate to an intelligent guy.

Intelligent women like the way an intelligent guy can make her *think*.

The problem is, there aren't a whole lot of intelligent women out there. Just like for men, most are average intelligence.

Most average intelligent people are not leaders but followers.

Bill Gates is a leader.
Donald Trump is a leader.

The list goes on and on. These guys are leaders.

You have to be sexy though. The dress. The voice. The smile. The charm. Bill definitely wouldn't be getting laid without his money. Neither would Donald. Money makes those men, but via their intelligence.

If you're just too dam logical when berating a girl (a.ka. Luke), then you are going to get nothing more than a mercy lay.

I'll also add that intelligence can be intimidating to not a very intelligent person. They don't feel on your level.

Interesting, i just had a relative graduate number 2 out of 620+ people (he is Mensa). His girlfriend is georgeous. He was just a friend to her for a long time. He wanted more, she did not.

He transformed his whole image. He got sexy, another girl wanted him, and the girl he wanted who just wanted to be friends, called him up balling. She did want to lose him to the other girl.

It worked good.

The fact that you are analyzing this and pondering it rather than cavemanning a chick is evidence of why you are not closing chicks.
Just kidding, man. Seriously, there is a time and place for analysis. But I think it's at the end of your night, as you're lying in bed, asking the girl what she finds so sexy in you.

thomasM said:

Although intelligence clearly has a demonstrable advantage in business (and for survival in general), intelligence in males has shown, by personal experience , to be a considerable disadvantage while seeking a mate. I am curious if this is indeed a universal truth, or merely a regional phenomenon?

I found a study performed by the Social Sciences department at the University of Bristol, which suggests a statistical 35% decrease in the likelihood of mating for each positive deviation increase in intelligence (16 IQ points). Thus in my case, this would reflect a 192.5% chance that I will never find a mate. It appears that in general, most women prefer men who are both dumb, and brutish.

This trend is probably instinctive, rooted deeply in an ancient evolutionary survival advantage; for if you mate with a strong brutish man, you will produce strong brutish offspring, those better able to survive. Logically, even today, this still makes evolutionary sense, for on the playground, as well as in adult life, the strong and ruthless are always in charge, and thus command majority control over all human wealth and resources. One never hears reports of dumb brutish kids (bullies) being picked on, or domineered by nerds!

So what is the general consensus out there? Is there really little hope for intelligent men?

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Yeah you guys are on crack. It does not matter at all. Some people just think super confident people are stupid because they don't correct themselves and don't care if they sound stupid when they say things.

ohhh Lordy
There are so many things wrong with this thread Im not gonna mention them, because if u dont see them then u are blind.

PS. Gentlemen: please grow some balls or i can recommend checking ur testosterone levels.

never let a feline know youre smart. at least i dont. i used to not hide it but guess what. slammed me right into a brick wall with chicks every time.

just try to act a little dumb. kinda like george bush.

the pros say it dont matter. but im just going with what i know. heh.

ohhh Lordy
There are so many things wrong with this thread Im not gonna mention them, because if u dont see them then u are blind.

PS. Gentlemen: please grow some balls or i can recommend checking ur testosterone levels.

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May I assume that you are a representative example of the "dumb but hunky guys" that get all the girls?

Intelligent women like intelligent men. Period.

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Actually, beautiful women, regardless of intelligence, have their choice of the male gene pool. Contrary to common wisdom, women pick men, not the other way around (despite the worldwide cultural and cinematic representations to the contrary). Now if a woman is both beautiful and intelligent, she exists at the top of the food chain.
Since intelligent, wealthy and successful women essentially have their pick of men, they often pick the most attractive males, who for the most part, are not shall we say, members of Mensa. ;-) Such men are essentially kept by them as pets, supported by the earnings of the dominant female, as is any pet.

Intelligent women like the way an intelligent guy can make her *think*.

Women are relational, the more intelligent she is, the more she can relate to an intelligent guy.

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I suppose if you are among the majority, those around the middle of the bell curve (50th percentile) and the woman dealing with someone up to around maybe a couple deviations above her (98th percentile) this would be true. How about someone five and a half deviations above the norm, in the 99.999998th percentile? Would these same rules apply? If not, then why not?

If you're just too dam logical when berating a girl (a.ka. Luke), then you are going to get nothing more than a mercy lay.

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I concur, however it becomes impossible for a logician NOT to attempt to rely upon predictive intelligence in all situations, especially the strange and frightening world of interpersonal relations.

I'll also add that intelligence can be intimidating to not a very intelligent person. They don't feel on your level.

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I agree here too. For example, I recently gave the bar scene another try. I sat down at the bar, next to an attractive woman, who appeared to be a few years younger than myself (however I seem to appear a bit younger than I actually am). I decided to sit next to her because I couldn't help but notice that she smiled at me as I approached the bar to order a drink. We began to chat, and everything seemed pleasant, until I started to communicate less casual ideas, and employ rather complex, multisyllabic words -- at which point the smile fell from her face, and her eyes drifted away from mine, and toward the door.

Use your intelligence to capture her mind.....and to spark and hold her interest in YOU.

Don't let her know you're a smart mother****er who makes A's and B's.

So what I'm saying is.....don't let her know you know how to fuse a atom LOL....(did I say that right?) But.....if you're smart...find out what she likes....and find out what her weaknesses are....and use it against her. Yeah.....just like the movies. I usually would ask about past relationships and why she liked certain guys so much. Those are weaknesses

But that goes against what the pros say though I think.

Intelligence and knowledge is never a disadvantage. Too much thought on trival matters is something quite different.

Have you ever seen a few MENSA members together? and then compare em to a load a pimpish looking men, youll see the difference, It's not the intelligence thats repelling the women, it's the lack of game.

Why do people with really high IQs think that anyone cares? First step: cut out this pity party "I'm so smart, it makes me all alone" business. It's not attractive, and it's not working.

People care about how big your IQ is in the same way they care about how big your penis is. If it's REALLY BIG everyone's impressed for about 3 minutes, then we don't care again. In general most people downplay the importance of things that we have no control over (IQ and penis size, for example).

OK. Let's talk specifics now. So how about your example about the girl at the bar? When you barely knew this girl you started talking about complex concepts and using big words. You really need to learn the basics of how to interact with new people. How to make friends. In the beginning it's all about keeping it simple.

The most important thing when you meet someone new (guy or girl) is to get THEM talking. About anything. It doesn't matter. The purpose isn't to solve the great riddles of the universe, it's to get the other person comfortable talking with you. The more comfortable the person is talking to you, the more they like you. Meeting someone new is already uncomfortable, so you don't need to add to her level of discomfort by talking about stuff that is over her head.

It's best to talk about simple (maybe even superficial) things at first (I know you don't want to, but that's how it works. In the beginning it's not about the specifics of the conversation, it's about the fact that you are HAVING a pleasant one).

Things that you don't have a strong opinion on either way are good topics. Which is why it's great for her to talk. Because whatever she's talking about probably isn't something you care too much about.

Right now you need to decide what's more important to you:
A) letting everyone you meet know how intelligent you are right away, or. . .
B) actually having the people you meet like you and want to spend more time with you.

Don't mean to berate too much, but I went through that whole phase too. The whole, "show everyone how smart I am by talking about crazy concepts right after I meet them." Then I realized it wasn't working, so I stopped.

Heart Break Kid said:

Intelligence and knowledge is never a disadvantage. Too much thought on trival matters is something quite different.

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Best comment on this thread

Intelligence is an advantage - don't confuse being a science geek who spends all his time in his room buried in books with somebody who is articulate and can make intelligent conversation

The problem with the original post is "too much analysis creates paralysis"

There are often stereotypes about hot, physically strong men being lower intelligence, just like there are with hot blonde women - breaking the stereotype turns girls on. They love a man with brains who is physical as well - check 'Dalton' from RoadHouse with his PhD in Philosophy

Intelligence is (mostly) a Gift You Need to Learn to Use

At one point in my life, I shared the original poster's frustration. Time and experience has taught me that it is generally untrue that intelligence is a disadvantage in attracting women. It is a gift that, when properly used, will form the main weapon in your arsenal to attract and mate with strange beautiful women.

Intelligence has become valued in and of itself only recently in mankind's evolutionary history. IQ tests which are themselves imperfect in gauging raw intelligence - have only been around for decades. This is not to say that intelligence doesn't have some intrinsic or objective worth. Nonetheless, for nearly all of our evolutionary the effects of intelligence, when properly and practically channelled confer an evolutionary advantage. For example, an intelligent male hunter, if he effectively deploys his intelligence, will kill more game relative to intellectually modest peers. The resulting success in killing game will, in turn, confer social standing which, as we all know, results in more mating opportunities.

Intelligence is a power. It is raw potential that has no worth unless it is effectively used. If you are truly intelligent, this should be obvious.

Any in-born characteristic you have, if you see it as a detriment, it will affect your confidence, which communicates to female a lack of social standing. Accordingly, you will lose on mating opportunities that you would have otherwise had, if you hadn't convinced yourself that something you were born with confers a disadvantage to you.

If you are intelligent and are not getting laid, you are failing to use your intelligence. The problem with many self-avowed intelligent people is that they lack social intelligence. Unlike the crystalline world of ideas, numbers, principles, etcetera, the social world is dominated by people. People are fickle, emotional, and generally irrational creatures. For the systematizing mind that likes to categorize and deal with abstractions, it is hard to understand people the way one can understand ideas or create mental abstractions. Thus, many systematizing intellects avoid the effort involved in understanding people and society - and, most importantly, themselves.

Moreover, understanding people means accepting that social status is conferred to people who exhibit characteristics whose evolutionary function is defunct. This is another reason many intelligent people avoid understanding human nature: it offends their ego that they lack social status, whereas who they think are their intellectual inferiors have social status. Any deeper inquiry into the scheme behind the social pecking order becomes painful because people don't like to know that their failures truly exist.

How do you use your intellect to add to your social standing (indirectly getting women) or to game women (directly)? Learn how to develop a systematized understanding of people and society- accounting for or trying to account for their irrationalities and truths that offend the self-avowed intellectual's fragile ego. One thing this lifestyle should teach you is precisely this. "Society is the book of woman." Women would much rather be with a rich man, a funny man, an artistic man, or a well-known man than a merely intelligent man. You should be glad to hear that intelligence makes being rich, funny, etc. easier than if you were the same physically, but less intelligent.

There is an exception to this. Some women, especially the control freaks among the female gender (whose numbers are disproportinately increasing) are intimidated (fearful) of men that can mentally outmaneuver them. Most women operate in this AFC-ridden world where women with few redeeming characteristics nonetheless receive an excess of male attention. This gives them a certain attitude with men that can only be described as spoiled. When faced with a challenge, these women generally become intrigued, having finally come across a man who doesn't grovel for her attention. Some of these women, however, enjoy the power they inherently have over an AFC. When women become older, more jaded, etc., they begin to have the attitude of the latter category. In any event, this latter category of women is a kind you want to avoid anyhow, unless you happen to like being emasculated/castrated. Men often seek women less intelligent (or experiencd) than themselves for the same reason: it confers a degree of control that, for many men, is an aphrodesiac and adds a degree of comfort.