How to Identify Wedding/Engagement Rings on Women's Fingers?

I have two questions for you guys if you don't mind. Many times, when I see a woman with a ring on her finger (the finger that often wears wedding or engagement rings) I feel reluctant to bother trying to talk to her. As strange and shallow as the dating culture of this country is, I'm also aware that a good number of American women wear those rings just to discourage guys from trying to talk to them, especially those whom they don't feel attracted to for superficial reasons. So sometimes it's hard to tell if the person may actually be married, engaged, attempting to prevent guys from talking to her, or perhaps broke up with a prospective husband but kept the engagement ring. Yesterday, I saw this woman at my train station with shoulder-length blonde hair and a really huge ass. Unfortunately, she had a ring on her finger. It was silver, not shiny or flamboyant at all, but still, it was the kind of size that seemed to suggest either marriage or engagement. So I let it go, because talking to married women just isn't something I feel comfortable doing. But the trick again is, sometimes you never really know.



My second question is, how do you guys handle getting attention and flirtatious looks from attached women? These days, I've come across many a woman (when I walk into the mall minding my business), sitting there with their boyfriends and then suddenly, when they see me, they stop paying attention to their boyfriends, look me straight in the eye and some actually turn around and look at me twice while I walk past them. On a few occasions, their boyfriends have noticed this and that bothers me, because I don't feel comfortable having some clown walk up to me feeling jealous because his girlfriend was checking me out for whatever reason. Two days ago, during lunch hour at the mall, I almost hit on one such woman. She was walking toward me and didn't stop looking me straight in the eye as if waiting for me to say something to her, which I was just about to do. Before I knew it, she went on and sat with this guy at the food court who was all dressed in a suit and all (corporate style) and they started conversating with each other.


Personally, I've decided to continue remaining humble despite all of this sudden attention. I'm still trying to get used to it, because prior to hitting the gym regularly, I never got such compliments and comments and attention from this many people. Back in the day, I only used to get attention once in a while for the way I dressed, because I was often perceived by those who knew me as a classy/stylish guy. Now, attached women and perhaps even single ones of all ages seem to just be checking me out like crazy almost everywhere I go and this really isn't something I'm used to.

I dont sweat things too much, I try just be friendly, confident and outgoing with everyone, man, woman, married or not, ring or not. If a woman really doesn't want to talk to you, it will become very evident in short order. Shrug it off with a grin, and NEXT!

You poor poor dear. I can feel your pain, man - getting stared down by all those women.
Why not get a cheap wedding ring and wear it on your ring finger (left hand third finger ) - that should discourage those staring baitches..

I've known some hot gals to wear rings on their wedding ring finger azzhole repellants. I just interact with them as if they're not available, and sometimes they make it clear that they are available.

Maybe a few of the basics first (as I'm still learning myself):

1.) Women who are engaged (in the US) tend to wear the engagement ring on the ring finger of their left hand (except the day the get married when they will wear it on their right hand during the ceremony). The ring will usually have a noticeable stone (or many stones) and the band is typically silver, gold or platinum (silver-appearance).

2.) Women who are married in (in the US) tend to go one of two routes (or mix it up depending on occassions). They will either wear only their wedding band on their left ring finger. This band is often very plain or sometimes made to accompany the engagement ring. This ring is given to them on the day of the wedding. Or they will wear both rings on the left hand ring finger (slid up next to each other) with the wedding band being closer to their knuckle.

3.) There is an increasing trend for perpetually "single" women to purchase their own engagement style rings and often they wear these on their right ring finger. At least that is what I was told (by a women) when I inquired what a right hand ring meant.

4.) I'm still not sure what women who are divorced or widowers do (my guess is that some still wear the wedding band and possibly engagement ring) on the left finger.

5.) I had heard once that some European women wear rings opposite to what American women do - can anyone clarify that?

...To the OP's question. So what if she's married. Just change your expectations. Strike up a conversation with the frame of being cordial and friendly. If you haven't approached women in awhile, at least you'll be out building up your confidence and conversational skills.

I love the idea of a single guy experimentng with a wedding band to see how women change their interactions / response to him. If a single HB (w/o ring) asks you about it just tell her the truth and then lay on the C&F because basically you've busted her doing what she's not supposed to do (but is programmed to do!) And if the HB has a ring and you reveal the truth she'll probably laugh and tell you if her ring is sham also.

I've learned that when you see a women with a simple gold or silver band on her left hand (no stones) she's probably been married awhile and leaves the engagement ring at home (or never got one worth showing). When a married woman wears both rings together she's proably still in that euphoric state or a bit supperficial because she wants to show off the bling.

And don't be mislead by silver bands. Platinum is quite expensive (yet looks a lot like silver). Some women sporting what appears to just be a silver band are actually wearing a platinum band which cost more than gold.

Also, if you look closer you'll see another trend. Some women who have been married for a few years might actually have 3 rings on their ring finger. The center one being the engagement ring, the one closer to the knuckle being the wedding band and the one closer to the fingertip being a anniversary band (yeah, even more bling).

Sinistar said:

5.) I had heard once that some European women wear rings opposite to what American women do - can anyone clarify that?

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Great post Sinistar.

Women around the world wear their wedding ring on the left hand. The only exception to this rule that I know of are the ones that you mentioned.

Most important thing I'm going to say in regards to rings and women:

Westernized Women are psychotic crazed beasts who thrive on being seen as either taken or not taken as validation for their sexuality. We men put up with it since we live in this god damned Westernized Modern Civilization, We also put up with it cause they have something we want and unfortunately they do not think like us (and be glad they don't) so they make us go through hell (Knight fighting a Dragon for the Princess theme) in order to validate their own sexuality.

F*ck feminists, they're just bitter cause they're ugly and men don't validate their sexuality.

Back to the topic: Women who wear a plain looking ring on their left ring finger = Taken , any other variety = Ambiguity = AMBIGUITY.

Wear a ring yourself and when a woman you're talking to says "i thought you were married" you say "I like to do the choosing and I get tired of random women coming onto me all the time so I wear this ring?"

3.) There is an increasing trend for perpetually "single" women to purchase their own engagement style rings and often they wear these on their right ring finger. At least that is what I was told (by a women) when I inquired what a right hand ring meant.

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So a spinster will wear a ring out of shame - and thereby give off the hint to a potential suitor that she is unavailable? Oh well, I suppose that Darwin will take care of this situation in the next generation.

good article about the diamond engagement ring

http://www.slate.com/id/2167870/pagenum/all/#page_start

Love those heritage and tradition articles!

Good read, good find.

Handy stuff to know.

Re: A Shamefully Superficial Society

It saddens me to constantly see the crap men have to put up with as far as American women are concerned. I've truly seen it all...and based on my own personal experiences, I honestly think many American women just aren't very nice and cultured people at all. Basic courtesy and humility is so lacking in American dating culture, especially as far as women are concerned. And for someone like me who was raised along the virtues of respect and humility, it took me quite a few years to get used to and adapt to this crap. Now, there's absolutely no way any woman in this country can even dream about disrespecting me and being rude to me, because I don't tolerate that. When I was able to stand up to the bi-chy woman at my gym a while ago who suddenly stopped using her machine, stood up and began to yell in my face, I saw right then that something had changed in me.



The fact that I'm suddenly getting so much attention from a lot of these women now because they can tell that I work out a lot, says much about their character. I know them. Back in the day, a lot of them wouldn't have given me a second look. I just wish more of them would understand that there's more to a potential mate than physical appearance. It's just so unfair that the field is so uneven and women in this country have such an unfair advantage and too much power over men in the initial phases of dating and relationships. They have the right to hurt men's feelings, use them, trick them, humiliate them, etc., all because they dared to step up to the plate and talk to them. There are times when I wonder why I should even bother making a move on some of these women because a lot of them are just so rude, conceited and lacking in substance. Yet if they think you have status or that you've made it big in some way, those same women would now think you should talk to them despite having been turned down by them for some of the most ridiculous and superficial reasons imaginable. What a shame.



I ran into my old oneitis at my gym last week and from the look in her eyes, I could tell that aside from not having seen me in a very long time, she can discern that I am a completely different man now and that I have improved a great deal. She probably never imagined that I would have been able to stay for so long without trying to reconcile with her or get in touch with her. She brings her boyfriend to the gym, but I just ignore them both. I could care less.

Frank2500 said:

It saddens me to constantly see the crap men have to put up with as far as American women are concerned. I've truly seen it all...and based on my own personal experiences, I honestly think many American women just aren't very nice and cultured people at all. Basic courtesy and humility is so lacking in American dating culture, especially as far as women are concerned. And for someone like me who was raised along the virtues of respect and humility, it took me quite a few years to get used to and adapt to this crap. Now, there's absolutely no way any woman in this country can even dream about disrespecting me and being rude to me, because I don't tolerate that. When I was able to stand up to the bi-chy woman at my gym a while ago who suddenly stopped using her machine, stood up and began to yell in my face, I saw right then that something had changed in me.

The fact that I'm suddenly getting so much attention from a lot of these women now because they can tell that I work out a lot, says much about their character. I know them. Back in the day, a lot of them wouldn't have given me a second look. I just wish more of them would understand that there's more to a potential mate than physical appearance. It's just so unfair that the field is so uneven and women in this country have such an unfair advantage and too much power over men in the initial phases of dating and relationships. They have the right to hurt men's feelings, use them, trick them, humiliate them, etc., all because they dared to step up to the plate and talk to them. There are times when I wonder why I should even bother making a move on some of these women because a lot of them are just so rude, conceited and lacking in substance. Yet if they think you have status or that you've made it big in some way, those same women would now think you should talk to them despite having been turned down by them for some of the most ridiculous and superficial reasons imaginable. What a shame.

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...question for ya then - if a bee stings you, do you get all sad and hurt and wonder why the bee doesn't treat you better and respect you??? Of course not, you just accept it AND LEARN FROM IT.

Women - ALL FRIGGIN' WOMEN - are just that - women. They do what they do, behave the way the behave and react the way they react because of their nature and social conditioning. Very much like the example of the bee sting, you can struggle, be sad, rant and even expect them to change but it ain't never gonna happen.

Why not use your DJ/SS awareness of how these creatures work to your advantage instead of whining about something (in this case a woman) who is just being who she is. If you want to blame someone, blame the first generations of AFC's who supplicated and started the ball rolling in the first place.

What saddens me is the number of AFC guys out there who could be scoring lays left and right while avoiding the AW's and dead-end relationships - if they only had this same awareness of how all females communicate and interelate (including the oh-so-dreadful American woman)

Re; A Shamefully Superficial Society

Well...I'm just trying to take a look at this objectively. My cousin moved to the United Kingdom a year ago and he tells me women there are a lot more polite, nicer and humble. His girlfriend, who he started dating while he was in the U.S., is from Ireland. Please don't interpret my post as whining. I don't regard American women as better than me or as women of a higher/special quality that I'm dying to get. I'm a writer, artist and journalist. I think critically and I like to articulate a lot through the written word. And as someone originally from a foreign country, I like to share my experiences with others. In all honesty, it's only in this country that I've come across women behaving in such shallow ways. I think they are very lacking in substance and many of their actions are downright stupid and foolish.

its not just women. western culture is in the sh*tter. all you have to do is turn on the tv to see just how pathetic we've become - britney spears, paris hilton, attorney generals who break the law, etc.

we live in a society where emotion-driven events / gossip / drama are considered news, art, culture, etc.

stick another mcdonalds double hamburger in your f*cking mouth and slurp your 80 ounce coke, go to work, hate your job, push papers around making no difference in the world, go home and 5 minute f*ck your cottage cheese *ss wife then fight about not taking out the garbage and why Billy was expelled for masturbating in the gym change rooms at school. go to bed, wonder how this became your life, go to sleep, then repeat.

I think of some european countries where people get up to beautiful weather, fresh food for breakfast. they go to work where people are happy to see them. they get home and have a big outside dinner with all their immediate family. they sip wine with their wife under the moonlight then ravage her and fall asleep content as can be.

oh well, c'est la vie (and im sure im romanticizing european life anyway).

Frank2500 said:

Well...I'm just trying to take a look at this objectively. My cousin moved to the United Kingdom a year ago and he tells me women there are a lot more polite, nicer and humble. His girlfriend, who he started dating while he was in the U.S., is from Ireland. Please don't interpret my post as whining. I don't regard American women as better than me or as women of a higher/special quality that I'm dying to get. I'm a writer, artist and journalist. I think critically and I like to articulate a lot through the written word. And as someone originally from a foreign country, I like to share my experiences with others. In all honesty, it's only in this country that I've come across women behaving in such shallow ways. I think they are very lacking in substance and many of their actions are downright stupid and foolish.

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...alright, I understand where you're coming from and that you've stated your objective opinion. So now the big question is - what are you or me or the next going to do about it?

An aside. Several years ago someone came to my office to complain about something in one of our products. On that day I changed. Instead of listening and approving I just told them flat out - "If you want to come here and complain about something then it's only fair you come with an alternative or solution to go with it." Now I do that on every occassion. And guess what, people still come in and complain AND they also come in with a solution!!!

[RANT]
I guess in a way I see the SS forumns being like this. So many guys on here complaining about American women or feminism or media or whatever. Alright GOT IT! So now what. What do we do about it. This forum would be uterly useless if it had 50,000 members who only complained about women not respecting them, doing what we expect of them, life being better elsewhere, etc.

Now back to your example. You've cited American women as lacking in substance, being downright stupid and foolish. I would agree, a large number of them fall directly into this category. Got it. Stipulated. Agreed. So now what can you or me or the rest of us do about it? Do Nothing? - NOPE I refuse to accept that answer.

Well we could continue to just state the facts and opinions over and over expecting things to change - yeah right!

I suppose we could all up and leave America and go to wherever this mythical country is where all women are intelligent, wise and have good substance. And if we're lucky that will be the same country where everyone is all happy and it's sunny every morning too. Now there's just one little problem. Who will be the ones moving there in droves - the supplicating, complaining, whining weak beta AFC's who want things to be better without having to work at it.

You know what, I reframe it entirely differently I guess. Women here are the way they are for a reason - because guys along the way have tolerated it (ie supplicated). But down inside they are still females and respond the way females do. They are emotional, indirect creatures looking for a man who is confident, c0cky, takes charge, etc. For the women who do not fall into that category such as AW's, broken-homers, cluster-B wack jobs, abusers, etc (which are many) I say just move on and let the next AFC fall where he may (which in a way is good because he'll eventually find a site like this and become aware too).

[/RANT]

Re:

I hear you, Sinistar. And I agree with a lot of your interpretation in your last response. I'm just tired of all the games a lot of these women play. The fake numbers, the lies, the e-mail addresses they give you to which they don't respond, etc. For once, it would be nice to just meet a "normal woman." With a lot of the women in this country who play these games, it doesn't matter how confident you are. They'll still come up with reasons to do these things no matter how much confidence you exude. Many times, they decide, mainly for superficial reasons, what they would say to one man and then another, before either of them even open their mouths. It's truly messed up and the sad thing is most of them fail to take into consideration the longterm effects their behavior might have on some men and in the dating area in general. In that respect, I don't blame some American men for looking for potential girlfriends and wives outside of this country.

If it's not a typical wedding band just say, "When's the big day?" You're deliberately misinterpreting it as an engagement ring. They'll clarify if it's not and then you can get the info you need. It's also a great way to move into the Ring Routine.

I've actually gone about this logically and had good luck guessing correctly...

Typically if it's an engagement ring, you're going to be looking at a gold or platinum band with a diamond or cubic zirconia. If it's a wedding ring... gold band, maybe a couple small rocks... possibly made of other metal, but tradition dictates gold. Women want everybody to see their engagement rings and know what they are, and wedding bands are just dead simple to spot.

Other kinds of rings... mood rings, birthstones, rubys/emeralds/sapphires, intricate silver bands with designs carved into them... and any ring they wear on the right hand... these types of rings are usually just momentos or to compliment their outfit...

There are exceptions, but we all make mistakes or get deceived now and then.

R19 said:

Well, part of it is that I had caught myself glimpsing at it a couple times like a luxury watch. I still do that with luxury watches, even though I say to myself 'It's just an effen Rolex' Her ring has a big rock and based on what I know from our convo, it's either an engagement ring or a ***** shield. But what about the guy roommate? Seems odd... From now on I either completely ignore or call it out early.

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Like I said, "So when is the big day?" (looking at the ring). Usually they blurt out the wedding day if they pick up on it, or if they don't I say "the ring (nod/motion towards it), when is the big day?" and it puts them on the spot. If they're really engaged they usually gush about it. If they're not gushing about getting married then they're likely either not engaged and it's something else, or won't be engaged for very long as the relationship is dying.