The definition of a "quality woman"? [Merged Thread]

Wyldfire said:

Jariel...take classes the women might take, volunteer, get involved in your community. You'll find a much higher quality of older women in those places.

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No offense...but I wouldn't want to meet a woman certain kind of baggage. And I say this with ALL DUE respect as the term "quality woman" in my eyes is not one that has a number of children from different men (including non-husbands) and which selection of "serious" relationships include drug addicts, alcoholics, and ex-convicts.

My point is...there a LOT of "non-quality" women masquerading themselves as quality in the places you mentioned above.

Latinoman said:

No offense...but I wouldn't want to meet a woman certain kind of baggage. And I say this with ALL DUE respect as the term "quality woman" in my eyes is not one that has a number of children from different men (including non-husbands) and which selection of "serious" relationships include drug addicts, alcoholics, and ex-convicts.

My point is...there a LOT of "non-quality" women masquerading themselves as quality in the places you mentioned above.

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No offense...but I wouldn't want to meet a man with a certain kind of baggage. And I say this will ALL DUE respect as the term "quality man" in my eyes is not one that has a number of meaningless flings with low quality women (including skanky slvts shared amongst many random men) and which selection of "serious" relationships is based only on appearance and stereotypes rather than any true substance.

Jariel...here is the point I'm trying to make. Think about this for a minute.

If you meet a woman that is 35 years of age...and happens to be 5+ years older than you...and she happens to be available...

What make you think that a "quality" woman of that age would prefer a 30 year old man over a 45 year old man if both men are DJs?

A DJ that is 45 will always trunk a DJ that is 35 or a DJ that is 30 or a DJ that is 25 when it comes to women that are 10 years younger than him. Women that are above 32 and have their stuff together will gravitate toward DJ men that have their stuff together (health, career, etc.) and happen to be older.

In my case...if there is a woman that is 29 (I'm 39) and happens to find me attractive...there is no doubt in my mind that I will trunk ANY man in their 20s. Simply put...career wise, experience wise, etc. I have much more to offer.

Of course, you can see men with women that are slighly older than them...but you will notice that many of them married when both of them were in their 20s.

Ok Wylde,

If the target species is lets say late 20's - early 30's, college or university educated women what would you say is a good volunteer opportunity? LOL

I do what I do now cuz it gives me some levity (these kids have to tough out a lot, I got it cake easy comparatively), but I'm always up for something new.

On the bucks side of the debate, define quality all ya want, but a substantial part of that to women and men alike today IS financial security and success, call it the modern day caveman equivalent of draggin back a kill on a regular basis. Broke ain't attractive, either to guys or gals, IMO.

Post up your definition of a "quality" woman...

Just curious what other "mature men" are looking for in a gal... As I see the term "quality" bandied about, seems rather ambiguous, and I'm sure there are varying opinions... As much as you can define it, realizing it is a very subjective topic.

I'll start with what (I think) I'm looking for, some not as subjective:

• 27-34 yo
• College or University education
• Professional occupation, or even a trade
• Financially sound
• Fit (and she does it for herself not soley to look good to men)
• Preferably single, never married, but divorced and WELL adjusted not bitter
• No kids, but close friends / family has kids so shes well aware of the exhausting work and expense they are

And the more subjective:

• Attractive (to me )
• Grounded
• Compassionate
• Outgoing
• Solid friends and family
• Hard working but works to live
• Hobbies, pastimes
• Independent, enjoys "her time", but not controlling re: my time
• Digs me
• Knows herself and what she wants, realistically

mzilla2 said:

On the bucks side of the debate, define quality all ya want, but a substantial part of that to women and men alike today IS financial security and success, call it the modern day caveman equivalent of draggin back a kill on a regular basis. Broke ain't attractive, either to guys or gals, IMO.

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Screw "equivalent". I'm the real deal in this regard: I drag back kills regularly. Nothing says "provider" like huge chunks of meat filling the freezer. Fish, turkey, rabbit, squirrel, deer, pheasant, grouse... all provided at low-to-no cost, and in large quantities. And, I'm a proficient gardener.

The problem? Damn women can't cook anything I drag home.

So... they look for a guy who can buy them take-out every night.

When you argue on the money side, you effectively argue that it's perfectly fine for a woman to not have any "nurture" skills: you try to take femanism's side and place the blame for this void somehow back on the man.

No, women! I provide well and fine. That's my function, and I serve it well. You will NOT fault me because I don't cater to your inadequacies!

You better acks sumbody - whut!

The definition of a "quality woman " ?

This is a nebulous term. It is open to personal definition and ever changing evaluation as we get older. However. I believe that it most often is a concept that applies when we are looking to be in a LTR...
Unfortunately most women are not fit to be in, and maintain, an LTR. I am a veteran of many LTRs and my observation is that as they grow older, they continue to practise the same flimsy thinking as any 18 year old bubblehead.

In an LTR i want some "must have" qualities in my woman.

1. Loyalty and primacy.. I expect her to place me and our relationship ahead of her connections with her girlfriends, sisters, work pals and any other assorted hangers-on.

2. I expect her to SHOW me her love, affection and appreciation for me. I want this to be demonstrated in active ways beyond sending me a text or a gooey email..

3. Fidelity- I do not allow a women to have my time and devotion if she ever hints at any interest in another guy. Dating other men is verboten. Talking about other guys is off limits. Brat Pitt is OK provided she mentions Ang Jolie in the same sentence..

4. Respect. This is very important and is closely related to item#2 above.
At the first significant display of disrespect she is DELETED. No long talks, no debating and pleading by me to be "respected" by her. No trying to "reason" with her to change her ways .. Just Bye Bye..

5. I will never tolerate her using sex as a reward or withholding it as punishment. If she has a problem with something that I have done or not done, then I expect her to find the courage to form the words and push them out of her mouth. After all women rarely are stuck for verbal activity when they are babbling to their Gfs..


This is My way, and my thoughts.

mzilla2 said:

On the bucks side of the debate, define quality all ya want, but a substantial part of that to women and men alike today IS financial security and success, call it the modern day caveman equivalent of draggin back a kill on a regular basis. Broke ain't attractive, either to guys or gals, IMO.

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I won't get too involved in this whole "Money attracts women" debate, but I will say that there are merits to both sides.

The second I think that my rock star style townhouse is what is boosting my game, I will meet a chick that who has no idea of where I live or what I drive but STILL gets all starry eyed the first time I meet her.

Does it help? I'm sure it does. All else being equal, put a guy that a woman perceives to be financially secure against one who seems financially shaky, and a woman would be a fool to pass up the guy who displays the ability to provide.

HOWEVER....I feel it is MUCH more important to display certain qualities to attract women. That's the real trump card.

I firmly believe that when you hit your 30's and you have your sh!t at least halfway together, these qualities come second nature. Before you know it the tables have turned and women are pursuing YOU, rich or not.

And why again would you want 30+ women when you yourself are only 30? Doesn't float my boat, but to each his own. More younger women for me

Yesterday I had dinner with a good female friend of mine. Great girl...would do anything for you, but she's older 32?? and is HARDWIRED into the matrix.

Until recently I haven't disclosed much of my relations with the opposite sex with her due to the fact that I dated her best friend, but recently I said "fukk it" and started giving her the lowdown anyway.

She started asking me about the women I am hooking up with> She knows about the 26 yr old and was asking specifically about her, and I told her "Oh that one? She's too old [<edit] for me!" The joke didn't seem to sit too well and she started questioning me for the billionth time about why I don't generally date older women.

So then she tries to make me a bet. She said she would bet me $20 that I wouldn't hook up with a woman my age or older.

Man, are older women THAT threatened by younger chicks?

A couple of points...

First...money is irrelevant to most women now (unless she is a gold digger). Women are fully capable of supporting themselves today, so they don't really care about it anymore. They USED to back when women were more dependent on men to support them, but now, if anything, it's viewed merely as a bonus if the guy has a bit of money.

Second...older women don't care if older men chase younger women. I'm all for it...because as an older woman I don't want older men...I prefer the younger ones. I know a lot of older women who also prefer younger men, so most of them probably don't care.

STR8UP said:

All else being equal, put a guy that a woman perceives to be financially secure against one who seems financially shaky, and a woman would be a fool to pass up the guy who displays the ability to provide.

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The only way she'll go with the financially secure guy is IF he's a DJ, otherwise it's not happening.

Furthermore, she should get up off her lazy ass and pursue a career like WE do and try to make a living for herself, instead of mooching off of somebody else's bank account. That's just lame and PATHETIC. Men have spoiled women and have conditioned too many of them to think that it's ok for them to sit on their asses while WE BUST our asses. No wonder women think it's their inherent right that a man supports them. We are not living in pre-historic times anymore people. Women once HAD to rely on men for support, THEY HAD NO CHOICE, because they did not possess the physical strength and stamina to take down a large animal...but they don't have to worry about that anymore. Humans have evolved to the point where women can take care of themselves. They are given just as much opportunity as men to make a living for themselves. Maybe in some cases they still don't earn as much as men do, but all that aside, they're still given the opportunity to PROVIDE FOR THEMSELVES. Then can easily do it, there is nothing wrong with them. I don't buy into the idea of supporting a woman. F*ck that sh*t. I'm not going that route. If men really wanna MAN UP, then it's time they realize that times have changed and realize they need to stop spoiling women and giving them the "free ticket". If there's anything more AFC, it's giving women the "free ticket" to life. This is a good example of where men are their own worst enemy.

Wyldfire said:

A couple of points...

First...money is irrelevant to most women now (unless she is a gold digger).

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Absolutely false.

You and the rest of the women can say whatever you want but I ain't buyin' it. You and every other woman's brain is wired to seek comfort, protection, and security, which money can provide.

Do you NEED a man with money? No. But it certainly can make life easier. ALL ELSE EQUAL (and possibly even a few things not equal) a woman is going to choose the man with money 90% of the time.

Second...older women don't care if older men chase younger women. I'm all for it...because as an older woman I don't want older men...I prefer the younger ones. I know a lot of older women who also prefer younger men, so most of them probably don't care.

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Again, not buyin' it.

A woman that you would consider for marriage cannot be "quality" unless she is a virgin - to be quality she must first meet this criteria!! Hors that are being banged by tom, dyck, and harry, disqualifies herself from the "quality" category!!

edger said:

The only way she'll go with the financially secure guy is IF he's a DJ, otherwise it's not happening.

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I did say "All things being equal". but even then it depends upon the woman.

And I won't automatically call a woman a gold digger for leaning in that direction.

STR8UP said:

Absolutely false.

You and the rest of the women can say whatever you want but I ain't buyin' it. You and every other woman's brain is wired to seek comfort, protection, and security, which money can provide.

Do you NEED a man with money? No. But it certainly can make life easier. ALL ELSE EQUAL (and possibly even a few things not equal) a woman is going to choose the man with money 90% of the time.



Again, not buyin' it.

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If you were right I would not have nexted a drop dead gorgeous (and 10 year younger) multi-millionaire for living too far away.

Again...the only women who really care about money are gold diggers/users.

STR8UP said:

Absolutely false.

You and the rest of the women can say whatever you want but I ain't buyin' it. You and every other woman's brain is wired to seek comfort, protection, and security, which money can provide.

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The same can be said about everybody, men and women. Everyone seeks protection, comfort, and security. But for some, that alone isn't enough. And that's when "materialistic" enters the picture.

STR8UP said:

I did say "All things being equal". but even then it depends upon the woman.

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Right, that's what I meant to say. There's always the exception to the rule women who don't give a sh*t if a guy is AFC.

STR8UP said:

And I won't automatically call a woman a gold digger for leaning in that direction.

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I sure would.

Cesare Cardinali said:

Wyld wrote:
"First...money is irrelevant to most women now"

I think this is false. I think money is important to the extent that women use it to judge whether a guy is stable, secure, and a worthwhile catch. Its not so much as in "I'm looking for a man with money to support me", but more of "I want to know that he is financially secure, going places, and can provide for the family".

To say that the ability to make money is irrelevant to most women is ludicrous. Most women would not be happy to consider a guy with no job and no prospects for a job; and women who can support themselves would especially be reluctant to consider such men as long term romantic partners.

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Times have changed Cesare. It's not about how much money a guy has...it's about whether or not he is in debt. It's not about how good is job is...it's about him having purpose and passion for what it is he is doing.

I know that I don't even look at money. I look at appearance first and then sense of humor and ability to hold up his part of the conversation. If I'm attracted to him, he's got a good sense of humor and can have a good conversation then I will find out whether or not he's sporting foreskin. If he hasn't lost my interest by then...next I look at how he treats me, how he treats himself, what his values are, whether or not he has passion and purpose, if he's in debt or has substance abuse issues...and very important is self responsibility. If he blames other people for his problems I'm bolting for the door. If he speaks negatively of all of his exes...color me gone. A good man without a pot to piss in has more value than a negative arsehole who is loaded. In my 41 years I have heard less than 10 women bring up money as an important factor in deciding whether or not to get involved with a guy. Looks, drinking and drugs, a reputation for treating women badly, negativity, being lazy (no purpose in life), being boring...those were usually the most common reasons for the women I have known to ditch a guy.

Cesare Cardinali said:

Wyld wrote:
"First...money is irrelevant to most women now"

I think this is false. I think money is important to the extent that women use it to judge whether a guy is stable, secure, and a worthwhile catch. Its not so much as in "I'm looking for a man with money to support me", but more of "I want to know that he is financially secure, going places, and can provide for the family".

To say that the ability to make money is irrelevant to most women is ludicrous. Most women would not be happy to consider a guy with no job and no prospects for a job; and women who can support themselves would especially be reluctant to consider such men as long term romantic partners.

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And a man must judge whether a WOMAN is stable, secure, and a worthwhile catch. BOTH parties have to contribute EVENLY to financial expenses.

Wyldfire said:

Times have changed Cesare. It's not about how much money a guy has...it's about whether or not he is in debt. It's not about how good is job is...it's about him having purpose and passion for what it is he is doing.

I know that I don't even look at money. I look at appearance first and then sense of humor and ability to hold up his part of the conversation. If I'm attracted to him, he's got a good sense of humor and can have a good conversation then I will find out whether or not he's sporting foreskin. If he hasn't lost my interest by then...next I look at how he treats me, how he treats himself, what his values are, whether or not he has passion and purpose, if he's in debt or has substance abuse issues...and very important is self responsibility. If he blames other people for his problems I'm bolting for the door. If he speaks negatively of all of his exes...color me gone. A good man without a pot to piss in has more value than a negative arsehole who is loaded. In my 41 years I have heard less than 10 women bring up money as an important factor in deciding whether or not to get involved with a guy. Looks, drinking and drugs, a reputation for treating women badly, negativity, being lazy (no purpose in life), being boring...those were usually the most common reasons for the women I have known to ditch a guy.

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Props to you, Wyld, if that's true.