Girlfriends Gone Wild....what exactly constitutes "inappropriate" behavior?

Here's a question for us all to ponder-

What kind of behavior do you consider to be inappropriate for a girl who is in a committed relationship?

Last night I was out with a few girls I know. One girl is "on a break" with her boyfriend. The second girl has had a boyfriend for the past six months or so. The third girl I just met, and she told me she has a boyfriend who I think she lives with.

Girl #1 was on a break, her actions aren't in question.

Girl #2 got really drunk and ended up on my bathroom floor. Earlier in the night she told me that she had recently became single again. She then told me that her boyfriend was not yet aware that he was now a single man.....wtf???

Girl #3, like I said, I had just met last night. She told me she has a boyfriend and that his name was "Mike". Later on I said something to her, referring to her boyfriend by his name. She said that remembering her boyfriend's name "definitely scored me points". Once again....wtf??? This chick has a boyfriend and she's telling me that I am "scoring points". Kinda odd.

I had a great time last night. Had two good lookin chicks hanging on me and freakin' me on the dance floor. Fun times!

So by the end of the night we were walking to girl #2's car. #2 has her arm around me on one side, and girl #3 is holding my hand on the other side.

So we end up back at my place at who knows what time in the morning, girl #2 in my bathroom, girl #3 with me on the couch. I got the feeling that if girl #3 didn't have to work the next day at 8am I would have had two house guests that night, maybe even a naked jacuzzi party, who knows??

Finally #3 finally scrapes #2 off the floor and takes the keys and they leave. I didn't have sex with either of them or anything like that, but it caused me to wonder- What would their boyfriends think about what these girls were doing that night?

I mean, I've been in the boyfriend's shoes as well. My last LTR got upset at me right before I went out of town for a few days, and later told me that she "thought we were finished after that" (funny I didn't get that memo), which of course "justified" what I found out later.....that she had started hanging out with some guy she met when I was out of town. I still don't think she fukked him, but there was DEFINITELY inappropriate behavior going on, and I'm sure I only knew about 10% of it. I dumped her ass because of it.

So would you guys be cool with your girl rubbing her ass on some dude on a dance floor when you weren't around? Holding his hand? Hanging out at his house at 3am? Where do you draw the line?

In the scenario you've laid out, I have to believe that all the alleged boyfriends are AFCs, because a mature, self-respecting man wouldn't be in a committed relationship with these party skanks. The line is drawn when at sexual contact.

depends on your outlook ... different people will put up with different things. But here is my general rule. Any behavior a woman in a committed relationship would not engage in if her partner was there is inappropriate. And even if he would put up with her making sexual contact with other guys while he was there ... it still isn't appropriate when she's out alone.

But this is really a trick question isn't it? If a woman will behave innapproriately when out alone, she obviously isn't very committed so no matter what she says ... she isn't, and probably never was, in a committed relationship anyway!

Reality and truth are defined by actions not words!

lee36044 said:

depends on your outlook ... different people will put up with different things. But here is my general rule. Any behavior a woman in a committed relationship would not engage in if her partner was there is inappropriate. And even if he would put up with her making sexual contact with other guys while he was there ... it still isn't appropriate when she's out alone.

But this is really a trick question isn't it? If a woman will behave innapproriately when out alone, she obviously isn't very committed so no matter what she says ... she isn't, and probably never was, in a committed relationship anyway!

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The ex that I broke up with? I honestly believe that SHE honestly believed in her mind that she wasn't doing anything wrong, even if she was over at some dude's house watching a movie at 2am without my knowledge. In her mind as long as she didn't have sex with him it was acceptable behavior! (Yea, I wonder how she would have reacted if the tables were turned!)

I agree with the whole "if she wouldn't do it in front of her boyfriend" thing, but I think we would ALL be guilty of inappropriate behavior if we were judged that way.

I dunno, it just seems like a lot of men are out to actually fukk around on their women whereas a lot of women are content to get satisfaction from simply engaging in this questionable behavior.

I just see it all too often, and it isn't just the sleazy ones. I know of this one chick who likes me. She blatantly comes on to me every time I see her, and her boyfriend is usually just a few steps away. Then again, this particular chick might be kinda sleazy, lol

Of course it also has to do with personality. Some women are simply more friendly and more touchy feely than others. You can usually gauge this early on and if you don't like it you don't have to stay with her.

if ive said it once ill say it a 1000 times.

women are like kids. they dont take responsibility for their actions and they make decisions based on emotion and rationalize why it made sense afterwards.

women know that if they are watching a movie with some guy at 2am in the morning that IF they wanted to they could f*ck him.

such a chic is almost pulling a double whammy. she's screwing you over (almost anyway) AND she's screwing the guy around (hes hoping he gets laid but then she doesnt give it up).

Chics just LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this kind of drama. they are showered with attention from all angles.

anyway, im talking about low quality women mind you - which are the majority. that's why its important to find yourself a high quality woman.

No way dude I would never be cool with that. That is disrespectful and is crossing the line.

These type of girls usually go out with 2 types of guys.
1. Afc type of guys who are just idiots. They are not man enought to put them in there place.

2. Guys that don't care about them. Ex. guys that use them for money. Or guys that are cheating on them left and right.

Many woman are like the ones you mentioned above. Sad but true.

Women will often exagerate or even outright lie about having a boyfriend to make their social value higher with men that they are interested in. Such a woman may consider the last man that took her out on a date as her "boyfriend", even if he didn't care to take her out again.

YAWN- typical hors!!!

the fairest rule i can think of is to only act in a way that the partner would be comfortable in if they walked in the door in the middle of you doing it. every relationship is different. to me i was pissed my ex wore out a sexy thong on a night she was not planning on seeing me.

no booze is not an excuse. nor are drugs. nor are emotions.

it is all bull**** really. quality girls and guys will have their nights out with their friends in places that the partner wont worry. ie the guys will drink and play poker at someones house or go to a **** hole bar to throw darts. girls will drink wine and watch sex and the city or go get a manicure. if you are happy why tempt fate and maybe ruin a good thing? or why make ur partner worry?

joekerr31 said:

if ive said it once ill say it a 1000 times.

women are like kids. they dont take responsibility for their actions and they make decisions based on emotion and rationalize why it made sense afterwards.

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So true. Guys do it as well but in a relationship context I have found that it's the woman rationalizing the inappropriate behavior the vast majority of the time.

women know that if they are watching a movie with some guy at 2am in the morning that IF they wanted to they could f*ck him.

such a chic is almost pulling a double whammy. she's screwing you over (almost anyway) AND she's screwing the guy around (hes hoping he gets laid but then she doesnt give it up).

Chics just LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this kind of drama. they are showered with attention from all angles.

anyway, im talking about low quality women mind you - which are the majority. that's why its important to find yourself a high quality woman.

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That description fits a chick I know 100%. I would say that it's typical of a woman with low self esteem but I see that trait in well adjusted women as well. I'm sure it feels great to know you have a d!ck in a glass case if your a chick who craves attention.

Had to cut one of my female friends off from that recently. She has a couple of millionaire "boyfriends" that send their private jets to pick her up for the weekend, and here I find myself sleeping on her couch. Wouldn't be so bad but in the back of my mind I was *hoping* she would invite me in the bedroom. Thats bad.

I could tell I upset her when she showed up a bar the other night right as I was leaving and I wouldn't stay with her. She's gotten WAY too used to being able to count on me to provide her with that ego boost.

What separates an ALPHA MALE from the rest? RESPECT. RESPECT other males have for him. I strongly believe in RESPECT. Have believed in RESPECT since I was in my early teens.

In a committed relationship...

I expect MY woman to behave in such a fashion that is respectful from her part as well as the people surrounding her. In another words, I expect from my woman RESPECT. And I expect that she enhances the respect from OTHER people toward me (e.g. "Latinoman certainly choose a great woman!" ). Other people being men.

That's why I would not go in public with certain lovers. And that's why I'm very picky with the kind of woman I take in dates. RESPECT is very important to me. Being a MAN is very important to me.

So...

1- Party Girls would not enhance respect toward me.
2- Women that dance with other men (unless she asks for my permission first and the music is like Salsa or even Ball Room or she is taking lessons) would not enhance respect toward me.
3- Women that flirt with other men would not enhance respect toward me.
4- Women that secretly contact men that used to phuck them (e.g. unless they are an ex-husband and the topic are issues as they relate to their children) would not enhance respect toward me.
5- Women that dress like sl_uts (although, dressing sexy but with taste is something that LADIES do) would not enhance respect toward me.
6- Women that talk in front of their MALE friends about her sexual adventures would not enhance respect toward me.
7- Women that try to contact males on the Internet would not enhance respect toward me. That goes with the MySpace stuff too.
8- Women that scream at me in public would not enhance respect toward me.
9- Women that spent a lot of time with males (I'm not talking about co-workers during working hours, which is okay) and consequently taking time from me would not enhance respect toward me.
10- Women that get drunk in public or start acting ridiculous in public (e.g. looking for fights with other women, etc.) would not enhance respect toward me.

I don't demand from them to do things as I personally don't believe on controlling women by threats or ultimatums. However, you can rest assure that those actions will get them dumped (some of them would end the relationship) or my disapproval (e.g. one more stike and she is out)...depending of the offense. And women know what they can get away with and what they cannot get away with. And they will adjust either due to morals/values OR by not wanting to lose the PRIZE (me).

Once again...I expect THEIR respect...and I expect from them to do things that would enhance the respect from THIRD PARTIES too.

Latinoman said:

7- Women that try to contact males on the Internet would not enhance respect toward me. That goes with the MySpace stuff too.

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You already have your age listed by your name. No need to put an exclamation point on it

I don't have a problem with a woman contacting me with any means she can think of. Its how she goes about it that going to make or break the deal for me (to say nothing all the other stuff that matters).

Azanon

azanon said:

You already have your age listed by your name. No need to put an exclamation point on it

I don't have a problem with a woman contacting me with any means she can think of. Its how she goes about it that going to make or break the deal for me (to say nothing all the other stuff that matters).

Azanon

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You misunderstood. (By the way, I'm 38, but I'm very technically inclined).

I don't care how she contacts ME...

...my issue here is making contact (e.g. making "friends") with RANDOM men over the Internet, once she is in a committed relationship with me. In lame terms, being a Cyber Attention Wh_ore.

You will NEVER, NEVA EVA EVA EVA EVA, find a girl that meets all ten of those.

My girlfriend cuts hair for a living, and she has plenty of guy clients (she's hot). She hugs them when she sees them. Is that disrespect for me? I don't think so. I think it's her being nice, even though the guys may see it as flirting. I know she ain't going anywhere.

We were out the other night at a club (I like for us to go out socializing every now and then, keeps us updated) and a couple of guys tried dancing with my gf. She danced with one guy for a minute or two, with her back toward him, kind of grinding. Is this disrespect? He tried to put his arm around her and she pushed him away. She didn't dance the rest of the night, turning down guy after guy. I never had to say a word.

Point is, this is 2007. Latinoman's list sounds like he's trying to date a 1860's choir girl. I like to keep a little freedom and independence in my relationship. It's not cheating or disrespect, I talk, mingle and dance with chicks when I'm out with her or without her. But, we never cross the line. The line differs for most people.

speed dawg said:

You will NEVER, NEVA EVA EVA EVA EVA, find a girl that meets all ten of those.

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Yes you can. I have...not once...but everytime I have been in a SERIOUS long term relationship. I don't care if she got away with other ex-boyfriends with behavior that diminish respect from third party individuals (e.g. other men) toward you.

A woman that truly cares for you...will do whatever possible to safeguard your RESPECT. She won't only respect you...she will safeguard that respect.

My girlfriend cuts hair for a living, and she has plenty of guy clients (she's hot). She hugs them when she sees them.

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That was not in my list. My girlfriend gives a friendly hug to friends. Latina women tend to give a hug and a kiss on the chick to their male friends. Nothing wrong with that.

We were out the other night at a club (I like for us to go out socializing every now and then, keeps us updated) and a couple of guys tried dancing with my gf. She danced with one guy for a minute or two, with her back toward him, kind of grinding. Is this disrespect?

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Ask yourself this question...if you were grinding ANOTHER man's woman...in front of him...would you feel the same kind of respect? Would you do the same to the woman of somebody like "Tony Soprano"?

Better yet...did she ask YOU if she could dance with that guy?

Point is, this is 2007. Latinoman's list sounds like he's trying to date a 1860's choir girl. I like to keep a little freedom and independence in my relationship.

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Don't be condesending, just because YOUR girl is grinding her arse on the groin of a random man...does NOT make ME nor my list archaic. I have some rules that I abide by. I don't ask any woman to follow them. I do however expect other men to respect me. And I expect that MY women do not contribute toward another man lacking respect toward me. And certainly, for her not to put herself in a position in which I'm disrespected by another man.

I have phucked both my ex-wife and current LTR girlfriend in parking lots, my porch, etc. I'm in fact very liberal in the way I think.

But using the "this is 2007" is a stupid excuse. And a great reason why women get away with a lot of things. Which is fine with me...because it opens the doors for me to meet women that are already in relationships (e.g. save me $$$, etc.).

It's not cheating or disrespect, I talk, mingle and dance with chicks when I'm out with her or without her. But, we never cross the line. The line differs for most people.

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If she is grinding a man in front of your eyes...you can rest assure that she will push the envelope more when she goes on "girls night out".

And once again...that man that was grinding his groin on her arse has NO respect for you. That's why he TRIED to touch her in front of you. If he had any respect for you...he would have no tried to push the envelop. What do you think ENCOURAGED him to try and touch her? Hmmm...maybe her arse grinding on his groin.

And that is MY point. Contributing toward a third party disrespecting you.

Heck, if he would have touched her...what would you have done about it? Get into a fight? But for what? Yep..."disrespect". And for something that could have been avoided.

Who are YOU to be the moral authority? To judge what is "appropriate" and "inappropriate" for a woman?

Worry about yourself. If women want to be wh0res, let them. More fun that way.

See Rollo's post about "AFC Social Conventions". Also, I had a post about "Chick Logic" a little while ago.

People put too much faith in the title of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". The title itself doesn't mean d!ck. The relationship is everything. You can be married to someone and sleeping with a new person every weekend, but staying married for the sake of the kids or some other such nonsense.

If such women are so abhorrent to you, then don't let them crash at your place. You seemed to be enjoying it enough. Hell with their boyfriends. They're not your concern...and if they try to BECOME your concern, you put them down.

If you limit yourself to dating girls without boyfriends, especially over age 25, you limit yourself to the least desirable of women. You wouldn't believe how many women have a boyfriend just so they won't look alone when they go to their friends' weddings and dinner parties. Just something to hang on the arm until they find someone WORTHWHILE.

How can you tell if she's in a real relationship with a real boyfriend vs just a token while she waits for the right man to come along? If she's really into her boyfriend, she won't give you the opportunity to seduce her.

"Propriety" is an excuse for inferior ability or value. That's all.

Good point above. "Boyfriend" means nothing to me. A woman with a boyfriend is a woman that STILL available in my book...unless she tells me clearly that she is not.

Latinoman said:

You misunderstood. (By the way, I'm 38, but I'm very technically inclined).

I don't care how she contacts ME...

...my issue here is making contact (e.g. making "friends") with RANDOM men over the Internet, once she is in a committed relationship with me. In lame terms, being a Cyber Attention Wh_ore.

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No, i understood what you typed, but maybe not necessarily what you meant to say. You didn't say random the first time.

In either case, i was just joking with you a bit. From what i can gather by participation levels, most people above my age just dont use myspace that much, and probably many above 35 see it as juvenille. But those under 25 are using myspace like crazy.

azanon said:

No, i understood what you typed, but maybe not necessarily what you meant to say. You didn't say random the first time.

In either case, i was just joking with you a bit. From what i can gather by participation levels, most people above my age just dont use myspace that much, and probably many above 35 see it as juvenille. But those under 25 are using myspace like crazy.

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I don't use it...because I don't need it.

If I was alone (no girlfriend) and lacked time...you can rest assured that I would be using it for recreational purposes (e.g. finding some younger women if I was going through a drought).

speed dawg....one more point...you can get a woman to do practically ANYTHING...if she

1- sees you as the PRIZE

and

2- RESPECTS you.


Because in 2007...there very very very few men that can master both things from a woman. That is respect and being seen as the prize.

And when a woman FINALLY finds a man that can fulfill both...then she gets into this "blitz stage". I have seen some women in the "blitz stage". You can see them everywhere. The kind of woman that you know 100% you have zero chance because she is already blitzed by another man.

Some might get a temporary blitz...because her man artificially got her into that stage (later she finds out he was full of B.S.). But a DJ with the right skills will get the right woman to get there. And she will be willing to do whatever possible to safeguard the relationship (within reason, of course).

I must admit that some women do things because they don't know the connotations. And we as men must lead them to understand that although she might be doing something innoncent (from her part), it opens the doors from a third party to disrespect us as men. And then it will put us in a situation in which we must take action. Things and energy that could have been avoided.