Comfortable Feeling Sexy?!

DarkLight · Nov 30, 2006

Sup Playaz.
So I thought I'd kick a tip off here.

Been reading Swingcat's "Art of Approach" and the beginning deals a lot w. feelings, and the confidence destroying habits, beliefs, etc. Specifically he writes a chapter called... "Feeling comftorable with uncomftorable feelings." This is the exact nature of this thread.

A lot of AFC's have issues w. the core dynamics of what makes a DJ a DJ. Thus, their position being AFC. So lets address some of the unspoken bridges that are necessary to arrive at some of the core DonJuan qualities.

I talk a lot about integration here. The fact being, societies conditioning has left us energetically crippled beings. Far from the radiant MEN of POWER, we're striving to be. Thus, the absolute necessity for us to process the repressed (and uncomftorable) feelings (energy). Such forces are the keys to what we're looking for.

Many nice-guys (AFC's) shirk from their ugly sexuality. But what they don't realize is its only ugly, cause its been held down, and choaking for air. If they simply accepted this demonic aggression for what it is... they would soon realize that its the pvssy pulling magnetism and power they're looking for.

So not only do I urge you cats to keep it real, with accepting yourself (no matter how weak/ugly your repressed inner issues are)... I urge you to push it beyond, by accepting the positive feelings they will soon represent, once integratred. Speed this process along, by catalyzing your repressed energies. Get comftorable w. your sexuality, by stirring it up, facing it, and accepting its positive attributes.

Test: Feel Sexy!
See how comftorable you are w. accepting a sexy frame towards yourself.

Watch all the inner limiting thoughts that come up.
All the negative emotions that lash out.

Process all this repression, till you can comftorably relax and enjoy the frame of feeling sexy.
I'm telling you... A WORLD WILL UNFOLD, from such inner-game work.
The kingdom of DonJuan's.

You want to really speed this process along. Stir it up even more.
Do such processes of integration, while out in public. Go to StarBuck's w. some hot chicks sitting around, and try to adopt this frame. Just watch at how many inner-demoms will pop up, ready to be accepted and integrated.

The goal is, transform these ugly energies into the strengths that will carry you from AFC to DJ. These are the bridges, your weaknesses. Great confidence and courage will come from traversing them. And such embarking, is the process of recovering our treasures, our glory as MEN. KINGS. GODS!

Breathe Deep,
Peace'

Cod3r · Nov 30, 2006

I liked this post and its true...

WHen I first realized I was sexy the initial thoughts that came to mind were, "you're not that kind of guy" or "you look stupid, people are looking at u funny"

I have conquered in some aspects, but socially when around alot of people with too much energy my demons still come up, except in clubs for some reason, I'm completely comfortable in clubs...

I will use this tip, i'm going to put myself in a socially energetic atmosphere and just accept all the negative thoughts and reactions, but how exactly to turn them into positives ??

-Cod3r

donpepot · Nov 30, 2006

Cod3r said:
, but how exactly to turn them into positives ??

-Cod3r

I guess by being convinced that you already conquered.And add it to youre level up self esteem

Teflon_Mcgee · Nov 30, 2006

Hrmmmm....Well, I don't ever really feel sexy, per se. More goofy and brutish

But, once I started feeling SEXUAL I took my game to another level.

Good tip.

Doggystyle · Nov 30, 2006

Yes, very good, I think this is the main area of inner game loving yourself or feeling sexy, then you will attract people towards you ten fold, it will effect your actions, body language voice.....pretty much everything.

If you can't love yourself how do you expect anybody else to love you (think that is the old saying goes)

Its normally when i think i am looking great that i go out and have a really easy time pulling, and even though i look a bit better than i normally do this is mainly just down to my attitude of feeling sexy. Puts you in the frame of "i'm sexy and every one wants me" and because you are in that frame, people buy into that frame if its dominant enough and start to think "he's sexy and i want him".

Super super hot looking women have this frame hence the reason why they act different to ugly looking women with low self esteem.

realsmoothie · Nov 30, 2006

I'm a little confused... is this "feeling sexual" something you TRY to achieve in your mind, or is it something that just comes naturally as a result of something else?

DarkLight · Nov 30, 2006

yoYO!
Great Responses, glad you enjoyed.

RealSmoothie: Its both. Sexual feelings are a natural phenomena, BUT, through societies conditionings, many people (men in our case) repress and hold back the expression of such feelings. So holding such a frame of being "sexy" and comftorable expressing your sexuality, and feelings... would be the act of willing your naturalness to once again be natural. To flow unrestrained in your masculininty as nature intended. This would be the way of the DJ.

DoggyStyle... great comments. Exactly.

Cod3r... glad you enjoy, great last question.
you write...

I will use this tip, i'm going to put myself in a socially energetic atmosphere and just accept all the negative thoughts and reactions, but how exactly to turn them into positives ??

By doing just that. Accepting all the 'negative' thoughts/emotions, alchemizes (if you will) this energy into its positive form. Its as simple and challenging as that. But, the good thing about the challenging aspect of it is... you gain POWER from doing it.

For example, not caring what others think. Another... the courage to face and live in truth. Many many attributes indirectly come to you, through such bold acts of fearless growth. This will not only transform the quality your working on, but fortify the by-product qualities (previously mentioned) in the process.

This would be a good time to clarify DonePot's notion.
He writes...

I guess by being convinced that you already conquered.And add it to youre level up self esteem

Wrong. Its not a matter of convincing, as it is literally, energetically integrating the issues that are blocking your natural glory. Dig it... its only the structure of the mind (AFC self), that blocks your true unlimited being (DJ true self) from shining. So its not a matter of constructing the DJ, its a matter of deconstructing the AFC.

Now this might appear as false to you guys, cause the illusion is... your GAINING confidence, game, etc. But the reality is, your GAINING such qualities through facing your AFC (limitations) and going beyond them (dissolving them). So you see... its a matter of dissolution into your power.

Many of you think being a DJ is to climb a mountain. But the mountain is only, dissolving this fake (society built) AFC, into your natural self. Your already the glorious MAN you want to be... underneath that thought of "Your not sexy, who you kidding?" that then creates the negative emotions that you avoid. So you see, its all a matter of integration.

I urge you all, to start implementing the practice of high-energetic social alchemy! Process your sh!tty inner demons, through facing them. Hold the exact opposite frame, and INTEGRATE. Hold that frame till you absorb the energy/power of those issues, so that you can then use that energy to hold that frame stronger/longer! Get it!?

This is the fvcking key to winning your inner-game battles. So understand.

Anyways...
Glad you cats, dug the flow.
Peace'

kickureface · Dec 2, 2006

im kinda hooked on this now, but i seem to be the only one who doesnt get the "deconstrcting" process.
care to elaborate?
you say that to banish your inner demons you have to accept it? i think its just me when i still dont relaly know what you are talking about.
thanks

btw, you found this in swingcats book?

samaka · Dec 2, 2006

kickureface said:
im kinda hooked on this now, but i seem to be the only one who doesnt get the "deconstrcting" process.
care to elaborate?
you say that to banish your inner demons you have to accept it? i think its just me when i still dont relaly know what you are talking about.
thanks

btw, you found this in swingcats book?

I can't speak for the OP but I can probably give an example. I'm sure heaps of AFC's out there have no problem pointing out a chick to their (male) friends and saying "I'd love to the f**k the s**t out of that" - or something equally as crude.

However if they actually got into a conversation they wouldn't even be able to talk sexy, kino or even be a bit ****y.

Ultimately it's a different type of fear of rejection - your not so much worried about someone saying no to going out with you. You're too scared even to admit that you have sexual feelings and urges, because you reckon people will think less of you.

Maybe the solution is exactly the same as the 'normal' fear of rejection. Do some cold approaches, not to get numbers, etc, but to express your sexuality. I can't think of the best way to do it (cause this is where I am stuck at in my journey) but maybe just complementing girls on their or clothes etc. It's a basic step but your at least expressing your attraction...

Or as usually I could be going in completely the wrong direction.

DarkLight · Dec 2, 2006

^^^As far as this thread... you are. lol

Kick... its like this.
When your conciously holding a "new" frame in your mind, all the issues (demons) that object to the perspective of this frame are going to be objecting. You simply just watch all these objections (thoughts/emotions), accept them, and continue holding this new frame. By doing that, you'll be integrating the energy of these issues. Now since these complexes of the mind are structures of energy themselves, you'll literally be absorbing the essence of their creation... thus, deconstructing them. With that energy accepted/processed/integrated... you'll then have more energy to hold this "new" frame in mind.

So, in short...
Your new frame will be absorbing the power of your issues by processing their essence: energy.
You need not do anything, but accept the bubbling BS of your issues, to integrate them.
...All the while, conciously holding a new frame, so the energy gets re-channeled, and used in a positive way.

You with me?! lol

Sort of complex, but that sums it up simple/clear to understand.
I want to create some images to illustrate this better. Until then... bang any other questions away.

Oh ya... and this wasn't really in Swingcat's book. Just something from his book, got me thinking about this. Specifically it was just one of the titles of his chapters... "Being comftorable with uncomftorable feelings." I'm always trying to tell cats, the key to innergame is integration of issues, all the while implementing new DJ assisting frames. So I thought I'd finally write something bout it.

And to Samaka...
Keeping w. this thread, I'll tie your issue into this. To better express your sexuality, hold frames that allow your sexuality. Then process all the resistances that are keeping this natural vibe from flowing. The more you integrate your restricting thoughts/beliefs/emotions towards being a "sexy", "sexual" being... the more your interactions will naturally express your sexuality. It will come across in all ways. From your eye contact, to your body language, to the tone of your voice, to what you say, etc. Your energy, and frame of mind will be dictating the totality of your behaivor. So you won't even have to be thinking about "how to better express your sexuality", once such "sexual" frames are integrated and in place. They will be the dominant frames, from which you are existing.

Hope this broke off some clarity.
Peace'

Babnik · Dec 11, 2006

This is so so so funny....
I just realized all of this is hilarious....

Difference between men who get laid and who don't is pretty much ONE - being SHY.

Nice guy vs. Jerk = shyness
Repressing sexuality = shyness
Not approaching women = shyness (I don't even think its rejection thats the problem)
Not doing kino during date or teasing or flirting = shyness.

Seriously...a jerk, a horny guy, and a confident guy is WITHIN each and every man. You just have to let it OUT.

Jesus...WOMEN have more balls than some men I met.

Think about it...she is UGLY, she is FAT and she knows it, and yet she touches me and asks me take her to my room...

Or girls in clubs who kiss me and I rejected them....they seriously had more balls!

da_hunter · Jan 18, 2007

i'm Bringing Sexy Back

snowdog · Jan 21, 2008

This thread is old, but still great.

snowdog · Jan 22, 2008

...and by the way, i pretty much mastered this by now. It's a huge confidence boost and it really helps with talking to girls.

Huffman · Jan 22, 2008

DarkLight said:
accept this demonic aggression

I like the term.
GIVE IN TO YOUR ANGER, YOUNG SKYWALKER

djinhell · May 11, 2009

bump! good thread...its currently helping me!

Micheal Moon · May 12, 2009

This is a good tip. But in my experience, its when "you just don't care" is when you get the most attention. You really put out that relaxed vibe.

You only really have control over yourself, your actions/thoughts etc. You can't control others, or which girl will start feeling you.

Maxtro · May 12, 2009

OK I admit that I'm not a very sexual guy. Unfortunately the OP doesn't mention anything at all on how to express it.

He tries to explain it here

So not only do I urge you cats to keep it real, with accepting yourself (no matter how weak/ugly your repressed inner issues are)... I urge you to push it beyond, by accepting the positive feelings they will soon represent, once integratred. Speed this process along, by catalyzing your repressed energies. Get comftorable w. your sexuality, by stirring it up, facing it, and accepting its positive attributes.

But I can tell that there are some elements missing.

It is a very important part of who I am that I need to figure out.

DarkLight · Oct 14, 2009

Maxtro said:
OK I admit that I'm not a very sexual guy. Unfortunately the OP doesn't mention anything at all on how to express it.

He tries to explain it here

But I can tell that there are some elements missing.

It is a very important part of who I am that I need to figure out.

yO...

Been a minute since I suaved it. Maybe even a few years, lol.

But... happen to dip in here, to use the vBulletin code for a biz post I'm about to blast out to 100k forums. Anyways... thought I'd help a brutha out, and respond (if its still relevant, seeing that your post is from back in May).

So to answer your question... you have to adopt it.

Adopt what? The frame of being sexy.

Adopting that frame towards yourself will do 2 things... stir the f*ck outta all the feelings/thoughts/beliefs/emotions you have in resistance to that perspective (which is the goal in this process/post), and it sets your minds on the vibrations of being the sexual pimp you are (as subtle as those vibes might currently be). What you focus on expands, kinda thing. So get to focusing, and get to clearing.

Understand?

You adopt the frame of what you want, and release all the sh!t thats blocking it from being. But first... you have to integrate/clear all the energy in between that point and where your currently at.

Thats the whole essence/value of this process. Consider it accelerate releasing (if your familiar with the practice). At the time, I knew nothing of the Sedona Method/Larry Crane, etc... but looking back, thats what this post/process was all about. Setting a goal, and releasing/integrating all the inner energy that "kept" you from living that desired experience.

Anyways... I'm sure your game's evolved from the point of your original post. Cheers'

Hopefully this might help another young player trying to sort his though.

With that... I'm out. Back to biz'

Breathe deep players, keep the nuts heavy droppin, and charm/take those goddess slut beautiful babies. They want it.

Peace!

phooey73 · Oct 18, 2009

This is an issue I have thought about and am very interested in hearing advice. Maybe I'm being dense, but I can't find any concrete advice for feeling sexy, except "just feel it." Am I missing something?

How do I "just feel it"? Or am I misunderstanding what this post is saying.

Comfortable Feeling Sexy?!

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