OMG I am getting the worse feeling ever!! Loneliness... HELP!!!

Right now I feel so very lonely because I realised most of my friends have girlfriends except me. I know, it's a very bad feeling, but I can't help it!!! How can I get ride of that thing?

And don't suggest to go out and meet girls, I'm still in the "fighting fear" phase so it's still hard for me.

Bro I'm in the same boat as you. My advise is to find BROTHERS. Girls will sense your desperation and avoid you like the plague, build up some base confidence in yourself by doing sports, religion, whatev... just find a fellowship and avoid tv.

aelux said:

Bro I'm in the same boat as you. My advise is to find BROTHERS. Girls will sense your desperation and avoid you like the plague, build up some base confidence in yourself by doing sports, religion, whatev... just find a fellowship and avoid tv.

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Well I do play sports (well not really play... I do bodybuilding), but aside from that, I have a lot of free time, so I guess I'd need to find a hobby. And what do you mean a fellowship?

Right now I feel so very lonely because I realised most of my friends have girlfriends except me.

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That's probably because they're all pvssy whipped and their gfs don't let them go out anymore.

A group of people who know you and accept you for who you are. This board is an online fellowship.

I just started competition jiu jitsu and the boost in my confidence has been extreme. Every couple days I get down with a group of people who get high on endorphins and respect each other for the ability to wrestle well. No ego, no games, just straight up work out and competition. Try competitive bodybuilding or a sport where you can win and people will respect your ability.

It's painful being alone sometimes. But it strengthens us. I actually feel stronger during a 6 month slump then 2 days after a breakup - even if I was getting sex every day for a month. Work on your diet and exercise, you'll get to where you want to be.

find ppl to go out with. Perhaps in the form of a lair. Read techniques. THEN APPROACH APPROACH APPROACH with your wings. As one of Juggler's instructor said you will then back in to the inner game.

First thing List all your weaknesses and one by one try to improve on all of them. For example if you need to get in shape go to the gym. Second of all rejection is better than regretting, your scared of being alone make that your motivation dont be scared of rejection be scared of lonelyness, evertime you get scared to make an approach think about what it would be like to be b@lls deep in some pvsyy by the end of the night and how bad you will feel if you go home alone and remember the only way to get this is by making an approach. Even the best looking guys get rejected sometimes just look at getting rejected is nothing to be ashamed of everyman on this board has been rejected at some time in his life. Third thing to help with nerves list possible questions that a girl may ask you and think of the perfect answer. Examples of questions that usually come up, where do you live, what are you interests etc if you have an answer prepared for every possible question then you will never be lost for words. One question that a lot of guys get stuck on is when a girl asks "What are you thinking" prepare a canned response and then you wont be stuck for an answer. Also talk about subjects that girls like to talk about such as where they have been, life experiences etc and try to share interests. Maintain good eye contact when talking to a girl and have a confident tone of voice, never be to nice and show initiative. If you are not good at eye contact then practice eye contact in a normal conversation and then when your chatting up a girl it will come more naturally. When flirting I would advise you concentrate more on eye contact and Kino as this is more effective in my experience. You are in control of your own destiny.

How I approach a girl. First of all get eye contact and smile if she smiles back go over, if she doesnt dont. Then go over and say Hi and introduce yourself after she introduces herself then try to make an observational oppener if not use a canned oppener for example so what brings you here tonight, try to make a conversation out of this. If she has anything you can make a conversation out of then use it for example "I love your accent where are you from". Always ask open ended questions for example instead of do you work out, ask so how do you keep in such good shape as this encourages more than just a yes or no answer. Dont use to many compliments, you aint gonna impress her by telling her how great she is you will impress her by showing her how great you are and you do this through smiling, using eye contact and being playful and through flirting. Also try to make friends with her friends as this will get them on your side and improve your chances. If you do get her number then wait 2-3 days to call her dont say do you wanna meet up say so when we meeting up, and dont ask her where do you wanna meet up suggest somewhere to meet up as this shows initiative.

Do you play comp games? I have found that playing MMORPGs or any online game where you are interacting with people is good.

It rivals sports, Just get your ass into something and try not to think depression.

mmos are a nice escape, it probably won't fix anything in the long run though.

i agree on the competitive sports thing, basket ball or football is mad fun.

MAVER1CK said:

Do you play comp games? I have found that playing MMORPGs or any online game where you are interacting with people is good.

It rivals sports, Just get your ass into something and try not to think depression.

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I really really hope you were joking. That's horrible advice. Socialize with REAL people in REAL life (Yeah, i know they are real people but you get my point).

To the original poster; I know how you feel. You say you have alot of free time. That might be a great factor in why you are feeling like this. I have that to these days. If you find something to spend your time on and are constantly busy, then you won't have so much time to think about girls, loneliness and other negative thoughts. You will be happier. Try it. I know I will.. Get new hobbies, study something, read and educate yourself. Learn new things etc. Focus on yourself!

And don't suggest to go out and meet girls, I'm still in the "fighting fear" phase so it's still hard for me.

Do what you fear most, and you will control your fear. That is the only way to get over it. Hiding from what you fear lets your fears control you.

Kev07 said:

mmos are a nice escape, it probably won't fix anything in the long run though.

i agree on the competitive sports thing, basket ball or football is mad fun.

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When I would use to play volleyball at the local volleyball park, I saw a plethora of hot women playing.

If you are decent at it, just ask the girls if you can join in on the game

\O/ said:

I really really hope you were joking. That's horrible advice. Socialize with REAL people in REAL life (Yeah, i know they are real people but you get my point).

To the original poster; I know how you feel. You say you have alot of free time. That might be a great factor in why you are feeling like this. I have that to these days. If you find something to spend your time on and are constantly busy, then you won't have so much time to think about girls, loneliness and other negative thoughts. You will be happier. Try it. I know I will.. Get new hobbies, study something, read and educate yourself. Learn new things etc. Focus on yourself!

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Listen, your personal opinion on what you feel about comp games is just that. OPINION.

THere is actually a very high level of social interaction, it can even go deeper than anything you will incounter IRL. People feel better speaking and talking to others when there is a comp infront of them. It is a great rebound tool.

Just because you dont like games or GAMERS, does not mean you should spew your idiotic personal opinion around.

Use logic, Not emotion.

well, the roman poet OVID (in his excellent [and possibly first ever written] pickup manual collection) recommends avoiding two things:

1. leisure
2. solitude

so basically, stay busy, don't opt out of gatherings and getting together with friends.

i used to think that being alone and being able to handle that built character. i suppose to a certain extent it might. he11, i'm really good at it. and i can take it.

but having gone through years of it, i'm not actually certain it is helpful. solitude and time leads to thoughts... and one thing that i've come to realize is that not all things can be solved through thought. sometimes, thinking is harmful. i've actually adopted the tuneout/focusing of meditation recently to stop harmful thinking.

anyway, try to stay busy. you'll probably FEEL like retreating into your cave... but try not to give in.

luck

delta

BannedGod said:

Right now I feel so very lonely because I realised most of my friends have girlfriends except me. I know, it's a very bad feeling, but I can't help it!!! How can I get ride of that thing?

And don't suggest to go out and meet girls, I'm still in the "fighting fear" phase so it's still hard for me.

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Man, I can see the anxiety a mile away.

If you can't go out because of anxiety, then you need to treat the anxiety. There is really only two ways as I see it: 1) Just go blast through it and deal with it or 2) If the anxiety is too strong then you need to get treatment.

I have a good friend who gets treatment for anxiety and he is so outgoing now that no one ever believes he had anxiety! It's very, very easily fixed problem.

The channels in your brain need blocked so these emotions don't just totally disable you like what is happening to you right now.

Some of the eastern philosophy also seems pretty good as far as not being attached and stuff for this problem.

This is a good website:http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/Iselfhelp.htm

Do the encoding specificity principle, when you are depressed you recall both more depressed memories and you recall them faster than normal people. This makes you even more depressed! It is really important to do something to break this kind of cycle. Once the cycle is broken, then resources like the one listed above can teach you more productive behavior&cognitive patterns.

MAVER1CK said:

Listen, your personal opinion on what you feel about comp games is just that. OPINION.

THere is actually a very high level of social interaction, it can even go deeper than anything you will incounter IRL. People feel better speaking and talking to others when there is a comp infront of them. It is a great rebound tool.

Just because you dont like games or GAMERS, does not mean you should spew your idiotic personal opinion around.

Use logic, Not emotion.

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This guy is lonely and is stuggling with getting over his fear of approaching women and you are telling him to sit at home playing a computer game. That is idiotic advice, no matter how good the social interaction online is. He is still sitting AT HOME behind his computer. How on earth is that supposed to combat loneliness longterm? Interacting on the net can be great and I agree that the interactions sometimes go deep, but it's not behind the computer life should be lived... Go out ffs, it's the only life we'll get and it's getting shorter every second.

He need to get out of his comfort sone and start socializing with others.

aelux said:

Bro I'm in the same boat as you. My advise is to find BROTHERS. Girls will sense your desperation and avoid you like the plague, build up some base confidence in yourself by doing sports, religion, whatev... just find a fellowship and avoid tv.

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I agree with this. Tonight, I was drinking with 3 other guy friends that all have GF's and for a while they sat their talking about their relationships with their b!tches(sex talk too) and I really felt out and at the same time ashamed that I was the only one there w/o anyone. Ive never been in a official relationship before and I couldnt help but WANT their problems like "my gf gets mad at me when I go out with you guys and not her", "she made me quit drugs/drinking/smoking etc.", "she has me on a tight leash" etc...as bad as those sound, ive never experienced it and also as AFC as it sounds id really like to feel how that is

I really felt out and at the same time ashamed that I was the only one there w/o anyone

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I know how you feel, I am always the "spare wheel" as well, as you get older most people are always paired off or married, you go to a braai [bbq] and even one is a couple except you, it becomes hard to impossible to meet single women in the group cos there aren't any!!

Its fine for people say this and that, but at the end of the day one gets tired of being lonely, no matter how full you life may be its a big part thats missing, and it sucks.

Rebound Material said:

. Ive never been in a official relationship before and I couldnt help but WANT their problems like "my gf gets mad at me when I go out with you guys and not her", "she made me quit drugs/drinking/smoking etc.", "she has me on a tight leash" etc...as bad as those sound, ive never experienced it and also as AFC as it sounds id really like to feel how that is

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The tight leash is right, believe me man.. when you get a girlfriend that begins to control you because you stopped putting your foot down ends up making you more stressed out and frustrated like your friends.

After seeing them too much you miss your time in solitude when you could go out and do whatever the fvck you wanted without thinking a single thought of who you're attached to. Some players can pull this off - but due to my religious upbringing I would feel too much guilt hanging out or messing around behind her back.

I personally, like not having to be phone/txt buddy with a woman and can focus on my career and hobbies without them occupying all my free time and money.