Dumped my GF 3 hours ago

MillerMan · Sep 6, 2006

Ok, September 6 2006 at about 7 pm. Just dumped my gf of about 2 years. She was just too scared to do anything outside of her comfort zone. Lived a very sheltered life when she was young. Friends everywhere. Never by herself. Bored when I wasnt there. Watched too much tv. Never completed anything she said she wanted to. Degree in English Lit. but works in a clothing store. Just all around too girlish. She was trying to change herself for the better but I dont want that. I want someone who is already like I want. I dont need a project gf. The physical - cute, not pretty, short, size 8, ate too much junk like "mmmmm cracker barrell..." got kinda wierd and almost disgusted when I told her I took up running. "Im going to get a bike and ride around alot...." no you arent, you said that 2 months ago. Needs to get off her arse and get a hobby. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Ive just changed soo much since Ive met her. Fitter, funnier, alot more confident. For instance I met her online, now I despise the internet dating scene. All lies. All weaklings. Ive been lurking here on and off for about 3 years now and have learned alot. Learned to just live my own life and dont focus on getting a gf. You know that saying "Do what you love and the money will follow"? That works for relationships to. Soo much going on right now to. Need to finish my house. About to be out of a job. Might take another job 2000 miles away. Would be too easy to keep her around for some support even if It is a little grating on my soul. Nope. Had to do it. Will be stronger for it. Better to do it now before I try and convince myself that I love her.

Help me out on this guys. Tell me your break up stories. Complain about your exes. Tell me Ill find that perfect girl next door. It hurts right now because I do miss her but I know itll get better as time goes by. I just need to work through this.

belividere · Sep 6, 2006

MM,

Good for you. You have given more than enough reasons in your thread to have moved on. Things will not be the same at first but that is largely because you have spent the last two years in some level of comfort and complacency. The fact that you were willing to make the step towards independence and uncomfort shows a lot about your character.

Before I'd found this site I was in the same situation that you were in. I broke up with my girlfriend of two years because it really seemed like we were headed down diverging paths. I wanted to improve my life and spend the time that it takes to do such, while she wanted me to just settle for average. It took some time to get used to being single and back on the market but in the long run it really was for the best. I am very happy having done things that make my life more better and more meaningful.

You made the better choice in this case. You could have settled and been unhappy, or realized what is best for you and continue to strive for it.

squirrels · Sep 7, 2006

The more you evolve, the more your tastes in women will change. You WILL hunger for something different. When you first started to "convert" from chump to champ, ANY girl was good enough. I know it was for me. Then as you start to realize that you can get MANY women, you start to pick and choose a little. Then as your life starts to improve, you start to seek women who compliment that improved life. Eventually, NONE of them will be out of "your league". You just have to find the one that works.

Don't sweat it. At least you've got some experience out of it.

Weak_Game · Sep 7, 2006

squirrels said:
The more you evolve, the more your tastes in women will change. You WILL hunger for something different. When you first started to "convert" from chump to champ, ANY girl was good enough. I know it was for me. Then as you start to realize that you can get MANY women, you start to pick and choose a little. Then as your life starts to improve, you start to seek women who compliment that improved life. Eventually, NONE of them will be out of "your league". You just have to find the one that works.

Don't sweat it. At least you've got some experience out of it.

Mother Fuk Can i get an AMEN? Nail on the head. Been there done that. The final stage is when you realize you dont need any woman. Even the best hb10 dosent seem fun anymore and you do nothing but improve and see MANY woman. If one isnt ok with you seeing many.. you have another waiting in line to take her place.

Cod3r · Sep 7, 2006

Seems people hate relationships on this forum in general, very biased so don't listen to people to make you feel better... listen to your heart...

But if this is best decision for you, i say good4u, u'll be fine. Hurt like fvck when I broke up with my ex-gf... 2 months of fun... a year of lonliness with no girl comparing... glad i did it but ehh still sucked... Got a great one now, so it all works out in the end

-Cod3r

Weak_Game · Sep 7, 2006

Cod3r said:
Seems people hate relationships on this forum in general, very biased so don't listen to people to make you feel better... listen to your heart...

But if this is best decision for you, i say good4u, u'll be fine. Hurt like fvck when I broke up with my ex-gf... 2 months of fun... a year of lonliness with no girl comparing... glad i did it but ehh still sucked... Got a great one now, so it all works out in the end

-Cod3r

You need to swallow the red pill not chew it.

squirrels · Sep 7, 2006

Weak_Game said:
You need to swallow the red pill not chew it.

You need to stop talking in other people's clever metaphors.

Relationships CAN have a lot of value in a man's life...as long as he continues to be a MAN.

Cod3r said:
Hurt like fvck when I broke up with my ex-gf... 2 months of fun... a year of lonliness

A year's a long time to hurt for a girl you only knew 2 months. Hopefully you've fixed your problem by now.

Bronxtal112 · Sep 7, 2006

Dumped my girl in June - was seeing her for 4 years. There will be some weak moments when you'll miss her or you'll do something that will remind you of her. It happens to all of us.

The most important thing you gained here is a better understanding of what YOU want in future relationships.

Cod3r · Sep 7, 2006

A year's a long time to hurt for a girl you only knew 2 months. Hopefully you've fixed your problem by now

No you misunderstood... was with her for 3 years, i was fine for 2 months as in enjoying the single life, but after that high wore off the real pain started and lasted for a year until I forgot about her.

-Cod3r

Sinistar · Sep 7, 2006

Relax.

Some guys spend their entire lives dealing with problems. And then there are the few that actually make decisions - exactly like you have just done!

Your gut, inner DJ, subconcious or whatever it is you call it drove you to make that decision instead of going on solving problem after problem. Along the way, the emotional sh!t will try derail that decision. The truest test is whether you give in or stick to it. You know deep down, right now when you read this, that what you did was right. And you know one other thing. If you go back you'll both be miserable, worse so than before.

Here's what I see. You were changing. She wanted to stay the same. The instant you try to get someone else to change for you things are headed in a bad direction. It ain't fair to ask her to change. And it ain't fair for her to expect you to remain the same.

Now here's the irony. You both probably needed this in the end. You're both gonna hurt somewhere along the line. And in the end, this might be the only thing with enough 'force' to get her to see where she has gotten lazy, filled with unhealthy expectations, etc. Perhaps she'll just get worse, wind up some broken scorned nasty chick. Or perhaps she'll see this as a sign to change, get in shape, change her attitude, and it will help her to find a guy that is a better fit for her.

Life will go on.

You won't find the perfect girl next door

if that's what you're looking for I suggest searching for your 'soulmate' instead

What you will find, if you put this behind you soon, is that there are some great women out there. But you are gonna have to do some work to find them. Why count on luck when you can take control yourself. Be positive, keep looking ahead. You did the right thing!

Vulpine · Sep 7, 2006

Sinistar said:
You won't find the perfect girl next door if that's what you're looking for I suggest searching for your 'soulmate' instead

Uh... wait, did I read that right?

Sinistar said:
You won't find the perfect girl next door if that's what you're looking for I suggest searching for your 'soulmate' instead

Um. Did you just...

Sinistar said:
You won't find the perfect girl next door... I suggest searching for your 'soulmate' instead

Oh, wow. You totally... So you're saying...?

Sinistar said:
I suggest searching for your 'soulmate'

I don't...

-but, I...

Er...

eep...

zi=0

&#;wli

.

MillerMan · Sep 7, 2006

Spent some of last night getting rid of stuff she gave me. Burned clothes. Took the power tools to the goodwill just now (were her deceased fathers, Im sure the circular saw would have cut my hand off next time I tried to use it. scary bad karma.). DVDs to goodwill to. Burned pictures and addresses and notes. Deleted pictures. Mailed her some of her lingering stuff. Just need to get everything out of my life that reminds me of her. Going to dive into my work and my house and just tie up everything that Ive got hanging right now. Complete myself. Ive still got some stuff and attitudes around from my little boy years. Im 30 so I might as well become an adult finally. Gonna move to either Houston or Indy after this year. No good girls up here in west michigan. Gotta break all ties untill Im far away from her. Focus forward.

Sinistar · Sep 7, 2006

I don't...

-but, I...

Er...

eep...

zi=0

&#;wli

...oops! I think my bit of kidding about a soulmate or the 'perfect' girl threw an unhandled exception in Vulpine's program. Then again I was wondering what he was doing jacked in for so long

Gangster Of Love · Sep 7, 2006

MillerMan said:
Ok, September 6 2006 at about 7 pm. Just dumped my gf of about 2 years. She was just too scared to do anything outside of her comfort zone. Lived a very sheltered life when she was young. Friends everywhere. Never by herself. Bored when I wasnt there. Watched too much tv. Never completed anything she said she wanted to. Degree in English Lit. but works in a clothing store. Just all around too girlish. She was trying to change herself for the better but I dont want that. I want someone who is already like I want. I dont need a project gf. The physical - cute, not pretty, short, size 8, ate too much junk like "mmmmm cracker barrell..." got kinda wierd and almost disgusted when I told her I took up running. "Im going to get a bike and ride around alot...." no you arent, you said that 2 months ago. Needs to get off her arse and get a hobby. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Ive just changed soo much since Ive met her. Fitter, funnier, alot more confident. For instance I met her online, now I despise the internet dating scene. All lies. All weaklings. Ive been lurking here on and off for about 3 years now and have learned alot. Learned to just live my own life and dont focus on getting a gf. You know that saying "Do what you love and the money will follow"? That works for relationships to. Soo much going on right now to. Need to finish my house. About to be out of a job. Might take another job 2000 miles away. Would be too easy to keep her around for some support even if It is a little grating on my soul. Nope. Had to do it. Will be stronger for it. Better to do it now before I try and convince myself that I love her.

Help me out on this guys. Tell me your break up stories. Complain about your exes. Tell me Ill find that perfect girl next door. It hurts right now because I do miss her but I know itll get better as time goes by. I just need to work through this.

MillerMan, complaining and sharing our bad stories and experiences is counter productive and many guys in here are already doing it too much. Instead, why not congratulate you on your changes and the new direction you have taken your life.

The type of behaviour you just described about the girl is the same type of behaviour a lot of us do or have been guilty of in the past. You know, where we expect everything to be good and perfect, and we want good things, yet we don't want to get off our aish and work for it. A lot of guys here want a line or something perfect to say, but act just like your ex girlfriend, lazy, slob, unwilling to work hard to improve, yet feel worthy of the best, as in pulling HB's 8-10, when they themselves have done very little to become more than a 4 or 5 themselves. Keep it up. Congratulations!

MacAvoy · Sep 7, 2006

MillerMan said:
Spent some of last night getting rid of stuff she gave me. Burned clothes. Took the power tools to the goodwill just now (were her deceased fathers.... Burned pictures and addresses and notes. Deleted pictures. Mailed her some of her lingering stuff. Just need to get everything out of my life that reminds me of her. ...Im 30 so I might as well become an adult finally..... Gotta break all ties untill Im far away from her. Focus forward.

Man it is so refreshing to see a man be a man. Realize where he is and do the right things to make a clean break. You'll be surprised how empowering it is. Not only does it create a mental break right now, but more importantly it prevents future relapses coming across old memoriabilia.

I'd wish you luck on your move but you don't need luck. When your on the right path, things may go wrong but you'll eventually get to where you need to be.

MillerMan · Sep 7, 2006

MacAvoy said:
Not only does it create a mental break right now, but more importantly it prevents future relapses coming across old memoriabilia.

Exactly what Im trying to do. Tossing everything she gave me no matter what. Ive backslid before and I want to remove all chance of wanting to do it again. I WONT be that guy anymore.

Gangster Of Love said:
complaining and sharing our bad stories and experiences is counter productive

Youre exactly right. It wont help. Im human so I feel bad about breaking her heart. But its normal. Ill get over it and so will she and we will both move on to better lives.

Thanks for the advice and support guys.

MightyMate · Sep 7, 2006

Dumpin her sounds like a good idea. Move on.

ElChoclo · Sep 7, 2006

With due respect Millerman she didn't sound overly offensive. There are plenty worse than that. Try not to fall into the trap which many women fall into, that is dumping any guy who doesn't meet all your criteria.

Since you've done it, OK, progress onwards. I have some trouble with this concept of the Uber Juan who throws away any imperfect woman who is unworthy of him. According to the theory if you just perfect your DJism you become a demi-god suitable only for the elite specimens of womanhood.

If this theory was correct, and this glorious state was attained by multitudes of men, there would be a severe shortage of women who are fit to meet their needs. Then what? They could all fight for the tiny percentage of women who meet the requirements.

Francisco d'Anconia · Sep 7, 2006

Congratulations on your ascension and transformation. One word of advice, stop counting the hours and wallowing in the breakup. Your a different person in a different time and place. It's time to carry your other foot over the threshold.

MillerMan · Sep 8, 2006

ElChoclo said:
With due respect Millerman she didn't sound overly offensive. There are plenty worse than that. Try not to fall into the trap which many women fall into, that is dumping any guy who doesn't meet all your criteria.....

So what youre telling me is that I shouldn't feel like Im worthy of something better. Lowering my standards is the secret to happiness eh? I should put my complete emotional and mental satisfaction aside in the name of...?? Am I in the wrong forum??

No. I dont think so.

Dumped my GF 3 hours ago

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