Objective: The 19 Kinds of WOMEN!

Yo Troops!


Victory Unlimited is BACK!

And Sosuave has got him!!! lol

Brothers in arms, welcome to my 100th Post.

I have been away on multiple maneuvers---covert missions that I can't reveal to you yet because it could pose a threat to National Don Juan Security. But I will tell you this:

I've been on a reconnaisance mission. And I have brought back information that you can all use to better identify, understand, and win victory over our greatest foe------Ignorance in the understanding of the way women work.

This coded message that I am now transmitting to you IS NOT original. Rather, I have salvaged it from the war room of my fellow brothers in the African American branch of our Sosuave Army. I have taken the liberty of "mildly" translating this document that has been recently circulating within our particular community. Why? Because no matter our race, color, or creed, there is a universiality in ALL women.

The following is intel gathered for the purpose of describing 19 different kinds of women (sistas, babes, hotties, etc, whatever).

Read it. Think about it. Then share your comments on it. And when I get back from behind enemy lines, I will have MORE to report.


Enjoy!




The 19 Kinds Of Women



1. Gold Digger
ADVANTAGES
A. Always looks good
B. Will give up the booty when you're spending cash
DISADVANTAGES
A. Will ONLY give up the booty when you're spending cash
B. Will leave you for the next sucker who has more cash-flow

2. Hoochie
ADVANTAGES
A. Always down to give up the booty
B. Looks good to all of your friends, which boosts your ego
DISADVANTAGES
A. Probably has slept with all of your friends or eventually will

3. Chickenhead
ADVANTAGES
A. Down for "what-eva"
B. Booty-call material
C. Will believe most of what you say and doesn't care about the rest
D. Has your back in most situations and will bust-a-cap in somebody’s azz if needed
DISADVANTAGES
A. Will bust a cap in YO azz, if need be
B. Ghetto as all hell
C. Comes with MAD drama included

4. Ms. "I'm looking for a relationship"
ADVANTAGES
A. Will give up the booty as long as you seem ready for a relationship too.
B. Usually looks good every time you see her
DISADVANTAGES
A. Really looking for a husband
B. Will leave you if you start acting like you don't want to get married or can't say exactly when you will be ready

5. Ms. "I'm looking for a husband"
ADVANTAGES
A. Will give up the booty as long as you seem ready to get married too.
B. Usually looks good every time you see her
DISADVANTAGES
A. Marriage is her #1 goal in life and nothing else matters
B. Will leave you if you start acting like you don't want to get married or can't say exactly when you will be ready
C. Will bug the hell out of you until you marry her or leave her

6. Ex-girlfriend
ADVANTAGES
A. You can always go back to hit it again if you throw her a few lines
that make it seem like it's a slight possibility that you two may
be getting back together.
B. She looks even better now that you are not with her
DISADVANTAGES
A. She looks better now that you are not with her
B. She has caused you major drama

7. Your Baby’s Mama
ADVANTAGES
A. See advantages for Ex-girlfriend
DISADVANTAGES
A. See disadvantages for Ex-girlfriend
B. She's hitting you up for child support

8. Ms. "I'm looking for a daddy for my kids" AKA "Someone else's Baby’s Mama", AKA 90% of eligible sistas
ADVANTAGES
A. Will give up the booty as long as you seem like a prospect to take the job
B. Will do almost anything to get some help with her kid(s)
DISADVANTAGES
A. See Ms. "I'm looking for a relationship" & Ms. "I'm looking for a husband"
B. Might get pregnant for you too, thinking that you might stay if she has your child, which is the same ill logic that got her caught up before in the first place

9. Ms. "I don't need a man because I have my own Shiit"
ADVANTAGES
A. She has her own shiit
B. All she really needs from you is one thing
DISADVANTAGES
A. She reminds you every chance she gets that she doesn't need you until you get tired of hearing it and leave

10. "The Perfect Woman"
ADVANTAGES
A. Cooks
B. Cleans
C. Looks great
D. Sexes you up
E. Doesn't ask where you've been
F. Doesn't ask for much
G. Caters to your every need
DISADVANTAGES
A. Is usually Ms. "I'm looking for a relationship," Ms. "I'm looking for
a husband," or Ms. "I'm looking for a daddy for my kids" in disguise
B. Everything will change once you make a commitment, especially if you marry her

11. The almost Perfect woman
ADVANTAGES
A. Looks great, doesn't ask where you've been or many other questions
DISADVANTAGES
A. She's probably sleeping with someone you know

12. Ms. "I'm waiting on God to send me the perfect man, and even though I'm in the club tonight I'll be in church tomorrow"
ADVANTAGES
A. May bring some morality to the relationship
DISADVANTAGES
A. The morality only applies when it's appropriate for her to make a point or is to her advantage

13. Ms. "I know I don't live at home anymore, but I might as well because I see or call my Mama every day"
ADVANTAGES
A. Easy babysitter access for her kid(s)
DISADVANTAGES
A. Her mother will eventually fukk up the relationship

14. Ms. "Dikk Teaser"
ADVANTAGES
A. Will move real freaky on the dance floor
B. Usually looks pretty good
C. You can always tell your friends that you've hit it and they'll believe you
DISADVANTAGES
A. She'll let everyone else hit it but you...or at least that's what they've told you
B. She will always run her mouth to her friends which may in turn get back to someone you don't want it to.

15. Ms. "Friend"
ADVANTAGES
A. Someone who finally understands you
DISADVANTAGES
A. You will always be attracted to her but don't want to fukk it up by making a move
B. Can turn out to be a Dikk Tease

16. Ms. "Trick-Azz-Bittch"
ADVANTAGES
A. None
DISADVANTAGES
A. See disadvantages for Gold-digger, Hoochie, Chickhead, or Baby’s Moma
Note: (Was considered a Gold-digger, Hoochie, Chickenhead, or Girlfriend before you got played)

17. Ms. Strong Woman
ADVANTAGES
A. Same advantages as Ms. "I don't need a man because I have my own shiit," but hasn't had a man in a while so it's easier for you hit it
DISADVANTAGES
A. Same disadvantages as Ms. "I don't need a man because I have my own shiit"
B. Will test your ballls once and a while, which may land you in a domestic violence situation

18. Ms. "I got screwed over in my last relationship so I'm going to take all of that shiit out on you"
ADVANTAGES
A. Will give up the booty to show her ex-boyfriend/husband that she has moved on
DISADVANTAGES
A. Takes all of that shiit out on you, meaning she doesn't trust you, always thinks you're cheating, and becomes needy once she realizes you really are different

19. Ms. "I'm one of the guys"
ADVANTAGES
A. Likes sports,
B. low-maintenance
DISADVANTAGES
A. Wants to tag along when you want to go hang out with JUST the guys for a change
B. May beat you at competitive sports
C. Dude, you MIGHT want to do a CROTCH check on her azz before you try to hit it


*****End of transmission from from the soldier known only as Victory Unlimited******

I so look forward to Sargeant Pvssy-Slaughter's posts! It's refreshing that we have a brother on the front lines taking shot after shot for the rest of us.

A true martyr for the cause.

Good post :yes:

Oh, I'm well versed in the numero twelve-o.

what book did that come from???

Yo Troops!



I am RIGHT NOW hidden deep inside hostile territory, surrounded by the enemy on all sides.

The Victory Unlimited TRANSLATION:

"Yo Bruh, I'm at work...and I work with a bunch of women...LOL"

But I wanted to take a moment to thank my Brothers in Arms - KARMA SUTRA and SELF-MASTERY for receiving the intel I delivered. lol
But let's not stop there. I'm really interested in hearing stories from ALL the Sosuave Army recruits about your experiences with ANY one of these types of chicks.


Yo Karma, I can feel you about woman number 12. Here's my story:


12. Ms. "I'm waiting on God to send me the perfect man, and even though I'm in the club tonight I'll be in church tomorrow"

Dude, I met a chick back in March with a body like a BET Video Girl. She was fine as H-E-double hockey sticks! lol She's 35 with a tight body that a 20-year old would envy. I met her in a Walmart parking lot, we exchanged numbers and I called her the next day. The conversation was fine. She actually seemed very interested in who I was, inside and outside.

Sounds good so far, don't it? The less-than good part is that she told me that she has 2 kids----each by a different Daddy.NOTE- (any Black guy over the age of 30, is familiar with this type of stuff, and is NEVER shocked when he hears this these days---unfortunately....)

Anyway, we go out, and during dinner she asks me how I would define a "dating relationship". I said "It's when a man and a woman who are attracted to each other spend time getting to know each other. And over the course of time, discovering and exploring each other mentally, spiritually, and physically---to see if they can have a future together."

Then she said "I think of a dating relationship as going out, staying in, and getting to know a man mentally, and spiritually----but not sexually."

Then I asked "Why is that?" She said "Because I'm a christian. So I'm celibate. And I'm not having sex with anybody ANYMORE until marriage."

I wasn't too shocked, but I WAS amused. As a Christian who DOES have premarital sex (and NO I'm not necessarily condoning it, just stating this fact for FYI purposes), I was willing to try getting to know her just to see what she was REALLY about. I wanted to find out if she was for real or for playing games.

Here's what I found out:

SHE WAS FOR PLAYING GAMES.
This upstanding, ultra-moral, PRETEND-prudish Christian chick turned out to be one of the most selfish and self-absorbed (yeah, I know that sounds redundant, but trust me---for her----it's not.) chicks I've EVER met. Everything she did, she did because of a lack of high enough interest, which was inspired by a twisted view of male/female romantic interactions.

She was reluctant to make dates in advance because she claimed to never know what her schedule looked like. And when I would make dates, she would flake. And when I'd suggest something spur of the moment, she would decline, show up late, or leave early. No calls. No explanation. No consideration. No nothing. To broadly misquote a line from the first Pirates of the Carribean: “She was the WORST Christian I’ve ever seen…” LOL

She was almost emotionless. She would avoid all kinds of physical contact for "fear" it would escalate into something sexual.

YET...she actually claimed she really did like me. lol

Also, I came to find out that this woman hasn't had sex in 7 years! Or so she says...(never trust a big butt and a smile.lol). And as a result, she has so many barriers up that she has not only shut off the flow of her warmth and femininity, she has desensitized herself from FEELING almost anything. As fine as she is, she's basically desexualized herself internally. Although she has 2 kids from 2 different guys, she NOW expects guys to cater to her and eventually marry her before she will do ANYTHING remotely “physical” with them at all.

LOL. Good luck selling that one, babydoll! I don't think I KNOW many REAL men who would seriously date a chick with 2 kids by 2 different guys, but had the nerve to deny THEM sex until marriage. To me, although she'll never admit it, this chick was practicing a very selective, subtle, and castrating form of manipulation. So obviously we stopped seeing each other, with the quickness.

In reality, she's just another form of an Attention Whoore who tempts less-enlightened guys with all her sizzle, but with no intention of EVER giving them the steak!



MORAL OF THE STORY:

Sometimes a babe can be so heavenly minded that she is no earthly good.




Comments anyone?









Peace...One Day.

Good stuff

Self Mastery,



I don't think this list came from a book. Instead, I think it was one of those funny emails that has been circulating around the internet recently.

I posted it because I saw SO MUCH truth behind the humor of it. lol

If you were a 38 year old guy who was constantly being hassled by a gorgeous young 21 year old girl who you enjoyed both the sex and the company of to marry you, I don't think that you would veiw it as being a disadvantage.

Dealing with a 9 and a 10 right now LOL.

thats about as funny as the "every girl needs 6 men"
1. baby daddy to come get the kids
2. sugar daddy to give her the cash
3. gay best friend to shop with
4. the nice date guy to take her to dinner and a movie
5. the club guy to go out and party with
6. the one night stand guy to end the night with (always revolving, must know how to make coffee and get out by daylight)

what you thought only men had a sense of humor?

im currently exploring the "ex girlfriend" type of girl

lotsa goddamn fun, seriously!!

great post

The perfect woman and the almost perfect woman have another disadvantage: 99.9 percent chance you won't get her.

Wow,

That's hilarious! I've got more to say...but I'm going to have to add it in tommorow!

Btw, Welcome Back Victory! You seem like a great soldier for the community!

You forgot da hooker

Da Hooker
Advantages
You dont have to hassle with any techniques to get her, Just show her da wallet.
Disadvantage
It is communal ***** yo enjoyin, u might get da clap

most of us want number 10 but they always become something else lol

WHY DO I ONLY ATTRACT NUMBERS 8, 12 AND 18?

penkitten said:

thats about as funny as the "every girl needs 6 men"
1. baby daddy to come get the kids
2. sugar daddy to give her the cash
3. gay best friend to shop with
4. the nice date guy to take her to dinner and a movie
5. the club guy to go out and party with
6. the one night stand guy to end the night with (always revolving, must know how to make coffee and get out by daylight)

what you thought only men had a sense of humor?

Click to expand...

A woman has a sense of humor!? You also forgot:

7. the smart AFC to do her homework
8. the orbitor that drives her places and validates her
9. the entertainment guy that keeps her from being bored
10.the texter guy she texts when she's bored
11.the guy with the party invitations and go to guy

Well I hate to admit it but my last encounter has been with number 15.

It's the girl who I let in and who got to know too much of me too fast.

She's the girl whose intellectuality hooks you instead of looks.

She's the girl that ends up using you like a tool, and kills you slowly like a parasite.

If I could take back allot of things I told her about myself I would. It's not that she remembers what you told her anyway, it's the feeling that you feel sort of naked cause she slithered into you heart (by giving you huge amounts of attention) and than she proceeded beat the **** out of it, by calling you up or texting you wondering what will she do with the guy she has a huge crush on (even though she has her long term bf in the background whom is clueless of this).

An awesome post which was posted somewhere on here to the archives is:
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000552.html

I want to go cold turkey on her ass...but I figure that'll give her too much satisfaction. My plan in motion is cutting the attention given to her until it reaches nothing. Reason being for this is that she's a huge attention seeker at the end of the day...she's the type who keeps bugging you [especially when you'd think she'll leave you alone like all those other girls who decided they are not attracted to you] cause "You are a good friend "....I caved by listening to "all her problems" cause I was a chump who wanted to get to know "the real her she's hiding underneath". I wish I read more of Anti-Dumps readings before I got myself into this mess.

It honestly astonishes me though that one of her tactics is simply repeating "thank god you're there for me when I need you"....I mean heck it basically conditions you to be a free of charge therapist/psychologist 24/7.

Anyone else got thoughts they want to share on this?

I have very much exposure with #15. Ms. "Friend" Several of them turned into a #14 Ms. Dick Tease. Of course I let things happen the way they did.

funny sh1t