Girls get approached all the time: myth?

FaithHealer · Jul 26, 2006

We always hear that women get approached all the time. Now in bars or clubs on a Friday/Saturday night, this is very true, especially when guys get "liquid courage".

But the rest of the time is this true? I spoke today with a 34 year old woman today, who is quite attractive. She has been divorced for a couple of years and just broke up with a guy she was seeing. I asked her if she ever made eye contact with guys she thought were attractive. She said yes. I asked if they approached her afterward. She said no. They never did. I was a little suprised because I expected her to say yes. Now this lady isn't bad looking so don't think she is a hog or anything.

My sister (29) is attractive (according to most guys I know). I know she didn't get cold approached very often, and it was mostly at bars or parties that she got sarged.

Makes me think maybe girls don't get approached as much as people around here think.

American_Psycho · Jul 26, 2006

I say it's not a myth. Both my sister and my girlfriend get hit on by guys constantly, in all types of social settings.

SexinEar · Jul 26, 2006

I think its a myth, in all my life ive never seen a guy cold approach except for me but I sucked at it and only did it 2 times.

WRX_is_like_SEX · Jul 26, 2006

Yes . .I would think they get approached, but not in a meaningful or confident way . . .

Bordering on flirting/sexual inuendo . . .:wave:

Krassus · Jul 26, 2006

WRX_is_like_SEX said:
Yes . .I would think they get approached, but not in a meaningful or confident way . . .

Precisely. Clubs are really the only places where guys actually attempt to "properly" (though usually more like "drunkedly") walk up to women and introduce themselves. Hot girls certainly do get a LOT of attention everywhere they go, but this is usually limited to shy looks, arrogant stares, smiles, whistles, lame-ass pickup lines a la "heyy sexyy," and honking. VERY RARELY will a guy actually just confidently walk up to a girl and introduce himself in a friendly, attractive and meaningful manner. VERY FEW guys are able to do this because it takes REAL confidence to not only approach a gorgeous girl in the daytime, but do it in a manner that makes you VULNERABLE (which in turn makes you incredibly attractive to the girl, IF done right). What i mean is this: whistling or "heyy sexyy" takes almost no courage, as if you get shot down, you can just shrug it off and call the girl a b1tch (like most insecure guys would). Same goes for canned indirect openers, as because you're not demonstrating interest, getting shot down "won't make you look back" (sigh, chickens). On the other hand, direct/natural game takes real courage because you demonstrate honest, genuine interest, and if you get shot down it can really hurt unless you've already developed a strong mindset (or "frame" if you like). BBUUTTT... this is what makes this type of approach so attractive to women - they KNOW how much courage what you're doing takes and instantly respect you for it! Your confident BL, tone of voice and words make your value skyrocket in her eyes, while at the same time making you appear human and attainable, though definitely inwardly strong and mysterious (the latter ALWAYS gets assigned to guys who are labeled the former). For example, a girl i met two weeks ago literally texted me and said that what i did required balls of steel and she thinks its really hot (this was followed by "we should hang out really soon"). Now, the REALLY cool thing here, which i believe is truly the icing on the cake, is that once you TRULY acquire the natural mindset, you cease to EVER feel bad about being rejected! You acquire a love for all people, but if you do get shot down, you just smile and understand that the girl either didn't know you very well or if she did, wasn't looking for what you're offering. Perhaps you're a playboy and she wants husband material, or the opposite. This isn't something to feel bad about, just wish her luck finding a husband, feel great inside about putting that gorgeous smile on her face by the way you approached, and walk up to the next beauty

I sat next to this gorgeous Asian/Latina girl in the hair salon today, and just told her that she was gorgeous and that i'd like to get to know her better. I swear to god, the reaction i got just... it gave me the warmest feeling i've had in a longg time and just made me feel amazing inside. There's just something about making women happy that makes me incredibly happy, regardless of whether or not i "get anything out of them." It turned out that her husband was actually getting a haircut a few seats down, so i had to make her swear to keep this a secret and get the hell out of here

, but it nevertheless was an immensely enjoyable experience and i drove away feeling better than ever

Chosen1 · Jul 26, 2006

I think that some guys are just to scared to approach women and some of the ones that do sucks or aren't confident at it

SELF-MASTERY · Jul 26, 2006

Unless you live near a whole bunch of black guys, I doubt that most women get approached as frequently as guys in the 'community' think. Outside of the club I really don't see too many guys cold approaching. I see black guys cold approaching ALL the time, but not that many white guys. I wonder why this is true...

Honestly how often do you see women being approached???

skip2mylou781 · Jul 26, 2006

black guys dont exactly approach in a very comforting way, esp when its white girls they r approaching....i have female friends who always tell me "i HATE when black guys try to hit on me"

SELF-MASTERY · Jul 26, 2006

skip2mylou781 said:
black guys dont exactly approach in a very comforting way, esp when its white girls they r approaching....i have female friends who always tell me "i HATE when black guys try to hit on me"

I have a white female friend that told me that black guys are very aggressive, but white guys are more passive.

I kind of hate saying "black" guys because it's like saying that ALL black guys approach in the same way, which couldn't be further from the truth. I think that the black aggressive style is obviously easier to spot.

I think alot of what is being preached here is white game, because most guys of my race understand how to do simple stuff like sexualizing a conversation (BLK culture is oversexualized,) have SWAGGA, display confidence, and silly things like doing magic tricks, or using canned shyt is like sticking lame azz on your forehead in my culture. I approach white women/ black women in the same manner, but I feel like I have just a little bit more info going into approach with black women(duh,) but I make a better connection with white girls

I think that women are basically the same, but people would be foolish not to pay attention to cultural differences that can have a great impact on success or failure. Now let's not get into a 3 page flame contest. Any negative responses should be forwarded to my PM box.

WRX_is_like_SEX · Jul 27, 2006

Krassus said:
Precisely. Clubs are really the only places where guys actually attempt to "properly" (though usually more like "drunkedly") walk up to women and introduce themselves. Hot girls certainly do get a LOT of attention everywhere they go, but this is usually limited to shy looks, arrogant stares, smiles, whistles, lame-ass pickup lines a la "heyy sexyy," and honking. VERY RARELY will a guy actually just confidently walk up to a girl and introduce himself in a friendly, attractive and meaningful manner. VERY FEW guys are able to do this because it takes REAL confidence to not only approach a gorgeous girl in the daytime, but do it in a manner that makes you VULNERABLE (which in turn makes you incredibly attractive to the girl, IF done right). What i mean is this: whistling or "heyy sexyy" takes almost no courage, as if you get shot down, you can just shrug it off and call the girl a b1tch (like most insecure guys would). Same goes for canned indirect openers, as because you're not demonstrating interest, getting shot down "won't make you look back" (sigh, chickens). On the other hand, direct/natural game takes real courage because you demonstrate honest, genuine interest, and if you get shot down it can really hurt unless you've already developed a strong mindset (or "frame" if you like). BBUUTTT... this is what makes this type of approach so attractive to women - they KNOW how much courage what you're doing takes and instantly respect you for it! Your confident BL, tone of voice and words make your value skyrocket in her eyes, while at the same time making you appear human and attainable, though definitely inwardly strong and mysterious (the latter ALWAYS gets assigned to guys who are labeled the former). For example, a girl i met two weeks ago literally texted me and said that what i did required balls of steel and she thinks its really hot (this was followed by "we should hang out really soon"). Now, the REALLY cool thing here, which i believe is truly the icing on the cake, is that once you TRULY acquire the natural mindset, you cease to EVER feel bad about being rejected! You acquire a love for all people, but if you do get shot down, you just smile and understand that the girl either didn't know you very well or if she did, wasn't looking for what you're offering. Perhaps you're a playboy and she wants husband material, or the opposite. This isn't something to feel bad about, just wish her luck finding a husband, feel great inside about putting that gorgeous smile on her face by the way you approached, and walk up to the next beauty I sat next to this gorgeous Asian/Latina girl in the hair salon today, and just told her that she was gorgeous and that i'd like to get to know her better. I swear to god, the reaction i got just... it gave me the warmest feeling i've had in a longg time and just made me feel amazing inside. There's just something about making women happy that makes me incredibly happy, regardless of whether or not i "get anything out of them." It turned out that her husband was actually getting a haircut a few seats down, so i had to make her swear to keep this a secret and get the hell out of here , but it nevertheless was an immensely enjoyable experience and i drove away feeling better than ever

I second the above entirely!

A real hall of famer!

qweretyuiopas · Jul 27, 2006

Krassus said:
Precisely. Clubs are really the only places where guys actually attempt to "properly" (though usually more like "drunkedly") walk up to women and introduce themselves. Hot girls certainly do get a LOT of attention everywhere they go, but this is usually limited to shy looks, arrogant stares, smiles, whistles, lame-ass pickup lines a la "heyy sexyy," and honking. VERY RARELY will a guy actually just confidently walk up to a girl and introduce himself in a friendly, attractive and meaningful manner. VERY FEW guys are able to do this because it takes REAL confidence to not only approach a gorgeous girl in the daytime, but do it in a manner that makes you VULNERABLE (which in turn makes you incredibly attractive to the girl, IF done right). What i mean is this: whistling or "heyy sexyy" takes almost no courage, as if you get shot down, you can just shrug it off and call the girl a b1tch (like most insecure guys would). Same goes for canned indirect openers, as because you're not demonstrating interest, getting shot down "won't make you look back" (sigh, chickens). On the other hand, direct/natural game takes real courage because you demonstrate honest, genuine interest, and if you get shot down it can really hurt unless you've already developed a strong mindset (or "frame" if you like). BBUUTTT... this is what makes this type of approach so attractive to women - they KNOW how much courage what you're doing takes and instantly respect you for it! Your confident BL, tone of voice and words make your value skyrocket in her eyes, while at the same time making you appear human and attainable, though definitely inwardly strong and mysterious (the latter ALWAYS gets assigned to guys who are labeled the former). For example, a girl i met two weeks ago literally texted me and said that what i did required balls of steel and she thinks its really hot (this was followed by "we should hang out really soon"). Now, the REALLY cool thing here, which i believe is truly the icing on the cake, is that once you TRULY acquire the natural mindset, you cease to EVER feel bad about being rejected! You acquire a love for all people, but if you do get shot down, you just smile and understand that the girl either didn't know you very well or if she did, wasn't looking for what you're offering. Perhaps you're a playboy and she wants husband material, or the opposite. This isn't something to feel bad about, just wish her luck finding a husband, feel great inside about putting that gorgeous smile on her face by the way you approached, and walk up to the next beauty I sat next to this gorgeous Asian/Latina girl in the hair salon today, and just told her that she was gorgeous and that i'd like to get to know her better. I swear to god, the reaction i got just... it gave me the warmest feeling i've had in a longg time and just made me feel amazing inside. There's just something about making women happy that makes me incredibly happy, regardless of whether or not i "get anything out of them." It turned out that her husband was actually getting a haircut a few seats down, so i had to make her swear to keep this a secret and get the hell out of here , but it nevertheless was an immensely enjoyable experience and i drove away feeling better than ever

Cool post man :woo: (i love dat smiley)

INXS · Jul 27, 2006

This thread is interesting for a few reasons. My first offhand guess might be that, it has something to do with time of day, location (state/country) and perhaps even how often someone is "out." I mean think of it like this, if a woman does not go out of her house very much beyond work, it makes sense that she wouldn't get "picked up on" very much, because her odds of meeting new men are slim. What is the UPS man gonna hit on her when he delivers a package? Doubt it.

As far as location, I'm sure if someone looked into it, they would find more outgoing people in some states as opposed to others. I doubt this is the "BIGGEST" explaination, but it might be PART of it.

Same goes with time of day. What if a woman works a night job and sleeps during the day? How many guys is she going to "bump" into at the super-market at 2am?

vorbis · Jul 27, 2006

I agree with the OP. Espi, attractive women always have some guy around at a party, but parties are akin to pubs / clubs. In supermarkers, bookstores, street, the only time I've ever seen a guy approach besides myself was some black guy hitting on a white chick in downtown Boston. NEVER have I seen anyone sarging in the supermarket or bookstore. There probably are a few who are but its definetly not the norm.

FaithHealer · Jul 27, 2006

I agree that you never see a hottie alone at parties/clubs/social functions etc. But also notice alcohol is involved there.

I meant places like supermarkets, bookstores, etc. And I meant actual approaches, not just hi or hey baby. I don't recall ever seeing a girl approached in these situations here.

AudiTy · Jul 27, 2006

Actually I've seen it happen only once before, it was in a
petrol station. I didn't hear the beginning of the convo
but the guy paid for his petrol and swapped numbers,
said he'd call to arrange a date and that was it. So I
can't say it doesn't happen but how many guys have
the inclination or ballz to even think about it? Not so
many I've been led to believe...

-AudiTy =o

belividere · Jul 27, 2006

Its always seemed to me like people here believe that hot girls never get hit on. They may not get closed as much as you would think but I notice guys always trying to chat up hot girls. Anyone who's been on a college campus can see that girls get cold approached. Sit in a class with a couple good looking girls for a semester and watch at least two or three guys try and get close to her throughout.

I dont know what your considering attractive though, a 34 yr old isn't exactly the cream of the crop. A hot 24 yr old though will get hit on quite a bit in my experience, be it walking down the street or at a club.

I disagree with any physically attractive woman who says she rarely gets approached.

For reasons unknown to me, HB women like to play down their social worth.

This is spot on, not that I can give you a reason why it happens, but it definetly does. The women who live this lie also seem to be oblivious to guys trying to flirt with them in public, making it more unlikely for the guy to try and close. I've watched girls I'm with get hit on hard and shrug it off like the guy was just trying find a new friend. He was, but it was the type of friend who he wanted to insert his penis into.

How many good looking girls go single for long times? I dont know hardly any. How do these girls find guys, or how do these guys find these girls? It usually isn't from cold approaches on the street, but I've definetly seen it happen and have done it myself.

vorbis · Jul 27, 2006

most good looking girls here in Boston find their next bf from their existing social circle. Lets be honest, if the guy doesn't actually try to number close its not really an approach now is it? Attention is a different matter, but saying that a HB 9 walks down the street and a guy will try to close her is just wrong in Boston.

Silverback82 · Jul 27, 2006

any girl that is slightly good looking has guys atleast talking to her all the time

Migel · Jul 27, 2006

I have seen ONCE in my lifetime a girl get cold approached on a bus in daytime.
Let's sort this myth out! I posted a poll with the question:

"How many times in your lifetime have you seen a girl been cold approached OUTSIDE the club scene, in DAYTIME, by someone other than your PUA friends??"

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=106310

FaithHealer · Jul 27, 2006

belividere said:
How many good looking girls go single for long times? I dont know hardly any. How do these girls find guys, or how do these guys find these girls? It usually isn't from cold approaches on the street, but I've definetly seen it happen and have done it myself.

Girls are rarely single for very long from my experience. They are crafty in that they usually have another guy lined up before they cut the current one loose. Most girls I know met guys through either work, mutual friends, or clubs/parties.

Girls get approached all the time: myth?

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