FR: APPROACH JOURNAL - Yonge Adults group.

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After the Yonge adult's service was ended, I approached a few girls, said hi to them, and just let the chips fall where they may. I was on guard this time for ANY negative thougths that would undermine or discourage my effort, and after eating three cookies on the tray, I mustered enough nerve to start saying "hi' to various sexy Asian girls in the room, and a sexy black girl. Although it didn't go anywhere, this is a major improvement from last week, when I didn't say 'hi' to any girl, let negative thougths get to me, and withdrew from the whole event.

This time, I was determined to fight the negative thoughts to the end, and held on in that room despite the desire to get out of there and run some place else.

After this event, I went to meet a female friend of mine - but she's an HB5 (she's be an HB3 if it weren't for her breasts which is the only thing she has going for her).

I dont know, but I didn't initiate anything with her, like touch her hair, or try to get physically intimate, although I spent an hour with her, but then again, we were discussing some 'religious matter and she was talking about an accident that had occurred nearby, so I dont think there was a mood conducive to that type of behaviour. I think some people should be set aside, where I can be my normal sence, without worrying about the infusion of lines or game.

But if you people think I'm not doing my best, then you can certainly reply to this thread - maybe I need a good kick in the a$$.
 

IsiMan84

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If you don't feel comfortable with that environment, then start out with a place where you'd feel more comfortable talking to women. Once you get used to talking to them in general then it won't really matter where you're at anymore.
 
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IsiMan84 said:
If you don't feel comfortable with that environment, then start out with a place where you'd feel more comfortable talking to women. Once you get used to talking to them in general then it won't really matter where you're at anymore.
I feel comfortable in that environment - it's easier to approach women when you know they are going to be socially receptive. However, 'negative thoughts' and social anxieties are around no matter what environment I am in, so the best thing to do is deal with them. In other words, I'm uncomfortable socialising and talking to women in general, which is why I'm meeting virtually most of them - in terms of dating, from the internet. This is something that I have to work on.

I've left groups before that I was not comfortable with in the past, however.
 
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Went to church again with my mom, this time we went to the same one I went last week. A disaster as far as approaches went. I dont know whether to pin the blame on 'the mother effect' where my mom may have seriously cramped my style, or maybe I'm not comfortable with the environment.

Actual approaches were made, but they were ackward and in general, in two attempts in which they were tried, nobody took me on and I felt like a fish out of water the whole time. I dont know whether I was being deliberately ignored, or if people were in cloud 9.

My resolution is two solutions:
- Either try out another church.
- Increase Display Value by involving myself in a Ministry, where people can see me active.

There are no further solutions that I can think of, and cant imagine anyone will have anything further to say other than what I already know, the church is not the best place for sarging, or, if my mom is in the picture, no matter what i'm doing, it's going to come out funny, because of the 'mom factor'.

However, I disagree, and still think there are two solutions that wont have to compromise my mom being around.
 

Blackdragon5095

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Now get a social part time job. Stop going everywhere with your mother. My mother wants to baby me even tho I'm 20. Push away from her, she will only turn you more into a nice guy.

I don't think your ready for a club yet. But go and talk to people not just girls.

Project better body language. How do you dress ?

Edit:

Read pook's posts. That will get you where you need to go. :yes:
 
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Blackdragon5095 said:
Now get a social part time job.
Huh, what do you mean?

Blackdragon5095 said:
Stop going everywhere with your mother. My mother wants to baby me even tho I'm 20. Push away from her, she will only turn you more into a nice guy.


I don't think your ready for a club yet. But go and talk to people not just girls.
I have no problems talking with anyone. I have no problems talking with girls, or approaching them. The problem is they are not reciprocating, or are not taking me on according to the last post. Now, I know this is a numbers game, and yeah, so you could get like 5-6 girls who ignore you in a day - in public, but it's a bit harder in a church atmosphere when it's presumed that people are assumed to be nicer, especially when I'm just introducing myself.

Of course, other churches can be tried out, or I simply have to be in a position where women approach me first, or at least would be more receptive, and that only occurs when you are in the public eye, and take on a leadership role.

Blackdragon said:
Project better body language. How do you dress ?
There is nothing wrong with the way I dress, and sure, I'm working on my body language. I'll tell you, whatever problem there is seems to be more with my mom being in CLOSE PROXIMITY when I'm flriting with girls, and the girls knowing that's my mom, then any other factor.

A girl came up to me, I talk to her, and I introduced her to my mom afterwards. What a friggen bone-head thing to do. It's like I"m totally fved up sometimes. What I SHOULD have done was tell her to introduce me to her HB10 friend and say WAIT YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER - DOES SHE GO TO XYZ WITH YOU -- and start some rap from there. The sheer lunacy of it, I deserved what I got, the girl probably thought I was a moron or something.
 
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