DrBeard
Banned
Yo homies!
I'm back with another field report! I was at a funeral last week cos my gran's friend Edith died and my mum was saying "you gotta dress smart all in black" and I say "Yo mum, stop tryin to turn me into a ponce! I wear what I want when I want!" We get into this argument and I go put on my burberry cap and ellesse hoodie and von dutch jeans and walk out the door. I thought Edith was a biatch so I dint even wanna go but my gran asked me to be there for support and stuff.
So I arrive at the church for da funeral and people are all lookin at me. I think WTF! U all dress like u are told and all look the same but I am myself and dont give a fock and thats why I am the alpha male!
I'm walking down the isle and I see this hottie sittin near the front. I know it is disrespectful and stuff but I wanted to bone her so bad so I go to the front and tell all the old hags to move up so I can sit next to this hot biatch. This one grannie says "Ooh this bench is for close family dear" and I say "Look here u old slag, I am gonna sit here even if I have to kick yo fockin aasss!" and she gets up and walks off.
So I'm like sitting next to this hottie now and I am doing kino on her and she keeps telling me to be quiet cos of the service so I dont say anything. It was a new challenge cos I had to work my game without saying nothing! While the vicar is reading all that religious funeral bollocks I keep giving this chick eye contact but she is blowing me off and I'm getting pissed. But when she stands up to sing the hymn I pinch her ass and she starts gettin all frisky and strokes my knob! She whispered in my ear "U r turning me on and I cant help it!"
When the funeral is over and everyone is leaving this bloke comes upto me and starts pointing his finger and has a dig at me for shouting at the old grannie who was sitting there. The hot girl is watching and I smack the guy across the face and stare him in the eyes and say "If you mess with me you may as well mess with yourself you bastard!" and walk out of there.
The girl comes running out of the church after me cos I showed her I can walk away and dont give a shiat. Then she says "That was out of order and you should show more respect" and has a go at me and I'm like "yeah, that's just the way I am. Take it or leave it!" and she grabs me and starts making out with me!
She said she never met anyone like me and says she is scared cos I am dangerous but she cant resist me. I said "yo babe, let's ditch this place" and we go to the garages and she gives me a blow job!!
For all u ponces out there I dont expect u to have the balls to do what I did and pull this off at a funeral but this shows you how women think. If you dont give a shiat about anyone or anything even at a funeral, those hoes will be all over your c0ck!!
Everyone will say "Oooh no Dr Beard you shouldnt do that at a funeral. That's disrepecful!" and I my reply to that is "Did u get a blow job?"
No?
Then FOCK OFF!!
I'm back with another field report! I was at a funeral last week cos my gran's friend Edith died and my mum was saying "you gotta dress smart all in black" and I say "Yo mum, stop tryin to turn me into a ponce! I wear what I want when I want!" We get into this argument and I go put on my burberry cap and ellesse hoodie and von dutch jeans and walk out the door. I thought Edith was a biatch so I dint even wanna go but my gran asked me to be there for support and stuff.
So I arrive at the church for da funeral and people are all lookin at me. I think WTF! U all dress like u are told and all look the same but I am myself and dont give a fock and thats why I am the alpha male!
I'm walking down the isle and I see this hottie sittin near the front. I know it is disrespectful and stuff but I wanted to bone her so bad so I go to the front and tell all the old hags to move up so I can sit next to this hot biatch. This one grannie says "Ooh this bench is for close family dear" and I say "Look here u old slag, I am gonna sit here even if I have to kick yo fockin aasss!" and she gets up and walks off.
So I'm like sitting next to this hottie now and I am doing kino on her and she keeps telling me to be quiet cos of the service so I dont say anything. It was a new challenge cos I had to work my game without saying nothing! While the vicar is reading all that religious funeral bollocks I keep giving this chick eye contact but she is blowing me off and I'm getting pissed. But when she stands up to sing the hymn I pinch her ass and she starts gettin all frisky and strokes my knob! She whispered in my ear "U r turning me on and I cant help it!"
When the funeral is over and everyone is leaving this bloke comes upto me and starts pointing his finger and has a dig at me for shouting at the old grannie who was sitting there. The hot girl is watching and I smack the guy across the face and stare him in the eyes and say "If you mess with me you may as well mess with yourself you bastard!" and walk out of there.
The girl comes running out of the church after me cos I showed her I can walk away and dont give a shiat. Then she says "That was out of order and you should show more respect" and has a go at me and I'm like "yeah, that's just the way I am. Take it or leave it!" and she grabs me and starts making out with me!
She said she never met anyone like me and says she is scared cos I am dangerous but she cant resist me. I said "yo babe, let's ditch this place" and we go to the garages and she gives me a blow job!!
For all u ponces out there I dont expect u to have the balls to do what I did and pull this off at a funeral but this shows you how women think. If you dont give a shiat about anyone or anything even at a funeral, those hoes will be all over your c0ck!!
Everyone will say "Oooh no Dr Beard you shouldnt do that at a funeral. That's disrepecful!" and I my reply to that is "Did u get a blow job?"
No?
Then FOCK OFF!!
