The Phoenix - DJ Journal

06/22/2006
Hi all, I am The Phoenix, and this is a close account of my adventures and strugles to become a DJ

Background info: I am 29, live in a major US city and I am overcoming a case of One-itis of 4 years that almost destroyed me which I don't care to describe because it is the same story as those posted here hundreds of times.

Profession Software
Hobbie - A Band, snowboarding and Sports.

The Plan: Get fit, develop a rock hard solid self concept and confidence and become really money in my social life specially with women.

The movitavion: Personal improvement, personal growth and to eventually find a partner that is fit and worthy.

My main concern is to become the person I want to be so that I can be trully proud of who I am, and then I will be more than fine with rejection or whatever comes my way.

The Strategy:
I started with the basic block principle which is the BootCamp, why? it is al simple, laid out for me, it is intuitive and targets specifically what I need to work on first to get me started.

During this few post that follow I will mailiy talk about my experiences in the BootCamp

BootCamp - Clan of The Phoenix:

Week 1 - Hello's and EC drills results:

I really enjoyed the EC drills particularly, since I do have an intense look and I sort of enjoy making people feel uneasy a bit just for the fun of it I intensified it a lot.
When I talk to people now I look right into their eyes and don't flinch some get a bit nervous some look away some loose track of what they are saying, is like a power trip. I do it with women to, they tend to look away if I am to intence when I am talkint to them only to stare back for short periods to see if I am still doing it. I can tell they like it but at the same time the intensity makes them look away at times... I recomend it, it is a good drill.

I work a lot and by the time I am home it is generally 6 or 7 so there is little time left for me to go around to public settings, not to mentione that I have band practice 4 times a week right after work so that leaves me with not to much time to approach so when I am approaching I just get right to it.

Approaching was ok in social settings of low tension level such as coffee shops, the elevator the lobbie of a building stores etc. I found it a bit more challenging at bars and clubs because of the noise level, and hi tension due to high guard kept by people. I hate to feel like I am begging and I refuse to lower myself to a desperate level so if I see that the approach will go nowere specially in clubs and bars I just don't (Is that ok?.. I don't meant to waste chances)

I also feel guilty when I have too much social proff, because it becomes really easy to approach anyone, after all, I am approaching not to meet someone but to defeat my social phobias and challenge my character. I have had too much social proof the past weekend so approaching wasn't really an issue, I did engaged in a few conversations but they went nowhere I felt I was wasting my time so I just excused myself and walked away to my buddies.

My main goal is to Have Fun, then I want to get rid of the "Begging or supplicating" body language I see in so many people around bars and clubs. And the third is to actually do a clean approach.
On my Hello's I did pretty good, I realized there is just as many people who would say hi back at you as those who will jus ignore you. Most people who would ignore you seem to either be affraid or have low self steem, I just felt it. Of those who say hi, some would be open to engage in conversation and some are just being polite while trying to remembers if they actually know you.

My biggest challenge is my lack of experience picking up in public places, so
-if anyone has any good pointers as to how does one talk to people at bars that would help.

Also how does one overcome the lack of social proof, I was out with my buddies all weekend so I had to much social proof to make it challenging, so during the week I tried going to bars on my own, but I felt at a loss without my friends.

-How does one approach at bars without social proof?

Thansks for your comments.

The Phoenix

The Phoenix said:

-How does one approach at bars without social proof?

Click to expand...

The same way you make friends when you go to a new city. Go up and talk to people.
I'm no stalker but you seem to be pretty cool guy Phoenix from your posts. So you meeting new people shouldn't be a problem.

I'm gonna give you a quote and help on your journey of becoming a dj.

And good luck man

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it."
Hitch

Thanks Blackdragon5095, very true, can't find excuses for my character weakness but damn they are hard to overcome. What I need is more rejection. ughh..

I don't like it, but I know I have to do it.

Thanks Bro..

Failure

Yo,
I am back,
Progress Report, hmm.. I felt like a failure after I had a setback of the Ex-GF kind, saw the witch with another dude... Damn that sucks, was a bummer but I am ok now.

I have been money on my EC, actually I just do it with everyone, just as a game or out of plain boredom. I stare into their eyes until they can no longer take it, I know it can be anying to them some times.. hehe that is what makes it fun.

As per my hello's it is been a week and I have 15 to go, I have been hanging out to much with my friends and that has taken away opportunity in my limited free time. I will try to go sarging at clubs, I need to start the conversation thing but sometimes when I see a Girl I like I stop and hesitate, and then my will to approach her is gone.

Here is my main issue:
1) How do I approach a girl to talk to her without looking supplicating or like I am hitting on her?

2) What is the average # of approaches / converzations that I should be having as a beginner DJ to be progressing and moving up? I know the more the better but I just want to rate my progress.

Thanks,

The Phoenix said:

Yo,
I am back,
Progress Report, hmm.. I felt like a failure after I had a setback of the Ex-GF kind, saw the witch with another dude... Damn that sucks, was a bummer but I am ok now.

I have been money on my EC, actually I just do it with everyone, just as a game or out of plain boredom. I stare into their eyes until they can no longer take it, I know it can be anying to them some times.. hehe that is what makes it fun.

As per my hello's it is been a week and I have 15 to go, I have been hanging out to much with my friends and that has taken away opportunity in my limited free time. I will try to go sarging at clubs, I need to start the conversation thing but sometimes when I see a Girl I like I stop and hesitate, and then my will to approach her is gone.

Here is my main issue:
1) How do I approach a girl to talk to her without looking supplicating or like I am hitting on her?

2) What is the average # of approaches / converzations that I should be having as a beginner DJ to be progressing and moving up? I know the more the better but I just want to rate my progress.

Thanks,

Click to expand...

1. you will learn this the further along you get in your boot camp and approaching.

2. i think between 200-300 approaches per year is a healthy goal. style says that it takes 250 to develop decent game. any other than that, and you are building mastery.

good luck. f*ck the ex, you are embarking on a far greater phase of your life than you've ever known before.

Damn,

I just wrote for almost 1/2 and hour and this thing gave me a bad thread error and lost all my reports.

Sorry guys, I will write it again but in a less colorful manner


Approaches 06/23/06

Approach 1
HB6 at bookstore:

She was browsing through Pet books, I approached her and asked her what kind of pet she had, she told me her and "her BF just got a dog" It was my first approach and I probably gave this air of desperate AFC hitting on her, she had an attitude so we had a short conversation, most of it a question answer thing then I could not take it anymore so I said Ok have fun bye.

I felt guilty because I needed a rejection, which is obviously what I was going to get from her, but since I could tell alredy I didn't ask for her #, that was bad. I need to get used to closing, I think I am Money approaching people I am just not good at closing so it is worthless.

Approach #2
HB6 doing homework.

She looked busy but I still aproached because she looked cute and I as folllowing the 3 second rule. I asked her what she was doing and then inquired more, it was to question/answer based again not really a fluid convesation. She also right of the bat mentioned her BF right when I said we should have coffee some time. I told her she could bring her along too, I wasn't jealous (jokingly and i wanted to see how she reacted) she laughed a bit and then I said by with a smile and walked away.
Once again lost the opportunity for a good rejectiong, should have asked for her # i need to get used to that. I guess when they mention their BF that right there is a rejection so I didn't proceed but I need to work on my bad habit of not closing.

Approach #3

Girl walking down the street with a sack looking purse.

approach;

The Phoenix: Hey what kind of purse is that it looks like an huge orange sack!!
HB4: laughed and yapped blah blah
It was still question answer oriented but a little lighter and fluid. She looked like she needed to get somewhere she was running errants, before she continued walking I asked for her # but she shook her head and say nahh nahh and walked away with a smile.
I need to smooth my act more to the level that 1) they feel confortable giving their digits even if they met me on the street, 2) To try not to look like a mediocre PUA trying to pick girls up
Need to look smooth and make it light casual and fun.
Hey this was my first rejection !! I actually asked for those digits WHOOWOO!!!

Approach #4

Girls browsing through news paper on the corner of street.
I used the 3 second rule and approached inmediately as I walked by, asked her if there was anything good going around because i was looking for fun places to hang out. I paid close attention to whatever she said and continued the conversation from then, basically conversing using her answers to create more material. This worked, we had a short entertaining conversation, and before it started to lag I excused myself saying I had to go but I would like to have coffee with her, so I asked for her # and I got it!! Cool!! this was my first # from my Booty Camp - I will use it to meet up and practice my interviewing/dating skills. (I guess i missed on my chance to add one more rejection to my list but a # is still pretty good!)

Approach#5

Girl at clothing store, I started a conversation with her, she was from out of town and by her body language not to interested, since she was out of town only visiting I didn't close, but it was a good approach practice.

what do you guys think, sorry I didn't add to much detail, I actually wrote a very detailed one but it got lost when my browser timed out.

Questions or comments of how to make my game smoother??

Thanks for your interest.

Cheers,

Advice???

LOL

You look like you got it down. Most stuff usually works itself out after lots of approaches and you managed to get on the right track after one day. Nice job with the leaving before it lagged and went for the # close as you were leaving.

Good stuff man, you closed more than most of us already :cuss: No worries though, I'll catch ya up, but really good job with the closing from the start. When I started reading the 1st two approaches I wanted to tell you that you can work your way to closing but just talk in the beginnin but now I see that is just skirting around the issue instead of tackling it head on.

Great job so far man, keep knocking down those boundaries

hell yes! you got ballz!@ :rockon:

now you are inspiring the hell out of me. you're using c+f and asking for digits right off the bat! maybe i am just too shy or something. i always feel like they will bite my head off or something if i say 'gimme your number, we should go out for coffee'. i'll never get anywhere if i don't start doing sh*t like this.

if you could write out in more detail, that would be cool. i'd love to read the details of the convos. keep going man. you are MONEY baby!

Sarging on June 25 2006 after gay parade

Hi my brothers,
Today may have been the most successful day of my life with women.. for real, I don't know what got on to me but I will closely relate what I did right in hopes you guys can benefit from my experience, it is also a bit scary because of the fear of whatever got into me today I hope it stays with me, I am still not quite sure what I did, but I was Money!!!

Setting: A gay parade, every gay cart in the city paraded and then lots of gay and non-gay people floked to different bars to celebrate. I am a straight guy and I didn't have to many hopes because most straight girls were with their friends or BFs and the rest were gay people so they were out of my list.

So this is what happened:

The Settings:

It was hard for me to tell which girls were straight and which weren't after the parade was over they all scattered around local bars, so I went solo to look for a bar, my plan was to go to a place with girls and not to loud music where I could talk.

I focused on my body language, KEY: first of all I noticed that most of the time when I was walking in front of a window I would check my reflexion to see if I was looking good, and all that, I was looking Money there was no doubt, but I got tired of doing that and then realized that I was waisting precious attention on myself that I could divert to my target. So checked myself once, OK i was money and that was it, for the rest of the day whenever I had the urge of self analyze my looks or posture or anything I would block that instinct and focus on the girls around me, when I was not looking for a girl to Sarge I was continuously ranking every girl I saw, (ei.. that girls is a HB4 this is an HB5 etc ect) that made me more attentive to openings and hints, less self contious and also once I realized a girls was an HB5 that all of the suddent seemed mediocre so if I chose to approach it was without any fear, even after closing with a couple I felt cheatted because I thought Damn... I closed with an HB6 , I could have closed with an HB7 or HB9 I can do better than this.

I tried to maitain perfect body language, I walked down the street like If i was the biggest D#ck in the nation, and i didn't care to show it. While maitaining body language I made sure that when I stablished CP i would get my point accross that I was interested in the girl, yet I also gave hints in the same look as I was not willing to go to trough much effort to approach them.

Kind of like looking right into their eyes, then starind them from the ground up to evaluate them, looking into their eyes again and then looking away coolly almost uninterested but then glance back every now and then, not hesitant to divert my stare... it is kind of hard to explain but easy to do. Kind of when you are buying a car and you see it and you like it but the price is still pricy so you are thinking about it and evaluating if you really want it.

Body language consisted of walking straight head straight up shoulders relaxed and pushed back, butt a little sticking out sort giving the impression of purpose and presence if you know what I mean.

First approach:
I was hesitant I could not find any straight girls, I walked up to this two girls sitting by the sidewalk and asked them where they got their nice neck beads, then they told me, they were friendly but there was 2 of them and so I felt intimidated as to seat down and continue the conversation so after a few what's ups, what are u up tos, blah blah, I said by and kept on walking. I was pissed because I knew I could have stayed and talked to them but I was to much of a coward to deal with two girls at once in a cold approach and off the street, so I walked away witouth even a good rejection of a #, damn I never asked !

Good Job, each apporach is a brick to your palace. I think I will do new progress report or journal.

1 thing tho, make sure you ask for age so you don't get a number from some girl who is 15 or too young. Just in case.

Edit:
The Phoenix don't be like me and do a bunch of conversations. Take risk, and be ready to make mistakes. And if you see a new tip for the apporach tips. Add 1 in man.

The question will be for you Phoenix, will you be able to ketp this attuide up. It's easy at first going yeah yeah I wanna do 100 approcaches then it comes to this is annoying have girls act rude and nasty to me. So this will be a test for ya Phoenix.

This was right by my house! I was going to go to this festival yesterday because I saw a couple of cute girls but then I thought - well, they must be lesbians! Plus you had to pay money yesterday to get in. Awesome approaches so far though, I'll keep reading.

Sarging on June 25 2006 after gay parade

Dear brothers:
I have broken my report in 2 parts because I go in some detail about my approaches, my next reports will not be as detailed specially since I plan to meet many more girls and this may turn out to be a book.
Since these were the first approaches and hence the most diffiicult, I have noted my openings and technique ( or lack of it)

Hope this helps.

Thanks for your interest...
(The main lesson, Sarging is a game of attitude!!)

The Phoenix ketp going. But 1 more tip for ya bro.

Don't be like other dj's and think your being rejected by looks , height or race. I'm tried of hearding it. A good man like you needs to be improving and apporaching. Find a wingman and hit the field. Not going, cry cry cry girls reject me based on height, cry cry cry girls reject me based on looks, cry cry cry girls reject me based on race. Don't look for excuses look for mistakes. Don't look for shortcuts look for ways to get better. Don't look for techinques look for better inner game.

Detailed report of sarging 06/25/06 - Part I

Hi my brothers,
Today may have been the most successful day of my life with women.. for real, I don't know what got on to me but I will closely relate what I did right in hopes you guys can benefit from my experience, it is also a bit scary because of the fear of whatever got into me today I hope it stays with me, I am still not quite sure what I did, but I was Money!!!

Setting: A gay parade, every parade cart in the city paraded and then lots of gay and non-gay people floked to different bars to celebrate. I am a straight guy and I didn't have to many hopes because most straight girls were with their friends or BFs and the rest were gay people but I am straight.

So this is what happened:
Approach #1:

I saw these two girls seating on the sidewalk, they had beads all over them so I approached them and said hi where did you get those nice beads. They told me about their beads and showed them to me, I was still very intimidated since it was my fist approach off the street to two girls and without social proof so we had a short chitchat and then I said by and kept on walking. I could have stayed and prolonged the conversation but I didn't because I was to intimidated to Sarge to two girls at once.
I was kicking myself for being such a coward and not going for the # to get my first rejection.

At that point I stopped and promised myself that I would go for the rejections, and that is all that mattered, it was a win-win situation so I should not care. My confidence was also soaring high because later in the morning while moving through the crowd I had this girl passing by say to me “wow, hey you smile.. boy you are cute!!” and i was just practicing body language (I thought I looked like a little gargoile but I guess I was looking good.. i got that twice... later I will elaborate)

Approach #2:
I see a girl leaning against a wall down the street with a little dog, and I thing to myself.. there is my opening -the dog - so I walked up to her:

The Phoenix: Hey, can i play with your dog?
HB5: sure....
So we start talking about dogs and pets in general I realize she is a little older that what I expected but she could be good practice. So I would talk to her pay attention to her and then at times divert my attention to the dog. I told her I have a rabbit as a pet ( yes I do have a rabbit as a pet in did... whatever ) and she loves my rabbit related stories
Then at one point she goes:
HB5: hey listen I have to go but let me give you my number then you can call me and show me your rabbit sometime ok??
The Phoenix: (shocked, but playing it cool): sure, yeah, if you get a pen and paper you can have my number.
HB5: pulls an old receipt from her purse and a strange looking pen and writes her name, last name and phone.
The Phoenix: Nice pen.. ohh ok got it. I'll call some time and then may be you'll met my bunny.
HB5: yeah cool, will see you soon then.

She left, and needless to say my confidence was soaring high, then I made it a pact, since I had such a good self close now I had to had a nasty rejection to compensate. So headed down to another bar to look for a really high scoring babe to reject me and it should be.

Approach #3:
Saw a really hot girl at the bar and her chubby friend, could not think of any opening at the moment and then it occurred to me, - I'll use the fat friend for my opening as I used the dog in the other one-
So I walked up to her friend and started talking to the fat friend, they were both seating down at the bar next to each other, so I walked to the center and started talking to the fat girl, I made it look sort of as if I was hitting on her, then I had the fat girl introduce me to the hot girl, but I purposely ignored the hot girl and continued talking to the fat girl. I noticed that the hot girl was really interested in all the crap conversation I was having mainly because she was secondary to it and she could not stand it. So slowly in integrated her in the conversation. But then some guy took her dancing so I was left at the bar. At this point I took the hot girl's seat next to the fat chick and there was as this really cute girl behind me, so this is how I opened to the 3rd chick

Approach #4:

The Phoenix: (turns around with a look of outrage and looks at the hot HB6 behind him): Hey !! did you just grabbed my ass??
HB6: confused and blushing No oohh noo no,
The Phoenix: (stares at her with a suspicious serious face for like 4 seconds and then lets a smile slowly appear) hahah nahh I am just F#cking with you, but its ok, if you want to, go ahead, nock yourself out.
She declines but at this time she is already smiling so I started the conversation with her.
Turns out she has a BF in the crowd coming for her. So I thought I can use her presence to my advantage. I talked to her candidly making sure the other HB who's seat I was on was watching. Needless to say she noticed. The HB6 left then, and the prior HB came back to her seat, I stood up and left to the bathroom, when I came back she seemed angry. I knew I was not going to get the # so just winked at her, she pulled up a cigarrette and asked me if I had a light. I didn't so I stopped the hottest girl passing by leaving the pub (we were by the door – and asked her for a light, she had one so I took it ) and lighted this Hbs cigarrete. She was impressed that I had lost any fear to any girl in there. After that I walked away.

Approach #5(may not count)
I went to a second room at the bar and immediately got stopped by a really hot girl who pealed off a sticker in my shirt and placed on hers. I asked her why doesn't she take the whole damn shirt already if she is going to do that. She was with her hot friend who inmediatelly I introduced myself too, and I engaged both in conversaton. They told me they were going to some dance club later on, then one of the girls Bfs showed up and pulled one of the girls away. I saw that they were getting ready to leave so I just said by and walked away. I was really money in my body language, and they were both impressed. (I had lost my shame)

Approach #6 (HB 8 crap she was hot)
She saw me walking back to the main room, she was the hottest girl in the bar, no kidding. She started dancing with me on the walk way so I followed. Then I danced a bit with her fat friend. We had a short conversation then she left to the bar. I was still a bit on shocked that I had danced with the hot girl on the whole bar. I didn't want to do what a AFC would do which is follow her around, so I stood at the same place, then I made a bold move, went all the way where she was at the bar and boldly told her I was leaving so I asked for her #, she said she didn't have a cell phone and wasn't from the area, so I just said by with a hug and left her, moved to the 3 other girls I talked to on the bar hugged them good bye and left the bar.

(continues below)

(Report 06/25/06 Part II)

(Report Part II)

(This is getting a bit lenghtly so I will summarize them a bit more)

Approach #7
(don't know if it counts, she approached me)
I stepped out of the bar and saw group of girls outside hanging out. Immediately sat down on the sidewalk edge and stared at the street, then looked side ways stared at them making sure they knew I was looking at them, then stared away, and tapped with my fit to the rhythm of the music. I was sort of just taking a break before getting up and leaving home.
She approached saying that she saw me sitting down tapping to the music to such a good rhythm. I say ooh yeah just chilling, told her I was a guitarist for my band, she said she liked hard rock and wanted to hear my band. Told her that if she was to give me her #, I would call her and let her know when we play. She pulled out her card and gave it to me, I told her I would call so we could have some coffee some time, she said cool, then she had to go to her friends so I stood up and she did to.. and we both parted ways. ( this one was a HB6 I am still perplexed.. don't ask me what I did right, I don't know for sure)
Approach #8
I was feeling super confident and since I already had met my quota for the day anything after was going to be just fun so I saw this two girls seating leaning against a light post on the street ledge.
I walked up to them and kicked one of them (softly of course) she turned around, then I just placed my hand on my pockets as if looking for something and said “Sh#t sorry I don't have any change!” she was on shock then I just let a big grin on and said “Hey I am just F#cking with you, I like your hair, you look like my fav guitar player Slash” then I walked away, she was still staring at me, the look on her face .. priceless!

Approach #9
I had to go to pee desperately since i had had a few beers at the bar, so I went into this coffee shop, and right into the bathroom but a guy beat me to the punch, so while waiting I saw this girl seating on the sofa studying a book for the GRE, I sat right next to her, letting my body bounce, and she looked at me and said “sure, have a seat” I asked her about her GRE and what she wanted to study, I was really natural and really money on this-one (overconfident) then the guy from the bathroom was done so I excused myself telling her I had to go pee like a horse. Went did my thing and when I came back I said I had to go but I had enjoyed our conversation and we should have coffee some time, she said I was funny and she gave me her # (I did ask for it) I made fun of her hand writing and then left. She was an HB4 with an HB5 attitude

Approach #10
Walking home from the coffee shop I noticed this blond HB5 walking behind me, I saw that we were both going to miss the crossing light so I just stopped at the light and asked her if she was following me. She said no, kind of weird out, then I asked her where was she going, we talked about her errands as the light turned green, asked me about what I did, told her about my band and how she should come and check us out asked for her number(without a second thought) but she gave me her email instead. She did not look very eager as the prior 4 but I'll email her and see how it goes.

Approach #11
when to another bar for a little while, sat by the door, body language was money and I was feeling overconfident, stayed there doing some EC work on two girls and then seating cool. When they were leaving I complained that they were leaving without saying good bye so they both hugged me and kissed me. They were going to another bar, I was to lazy to follow them so I just stayed. There was no conversation, I wonder if I could have gotten their # had I just boldly asked for it out of the nothing.

Approach #12
Going back home I saw these 3 HB7 girls getting into this bar. Now I am feeling super confident so I decide to say hi to one of them while they are still at the door. She was frindly, we exchanged short conversation while on the door, she was waiting for her friend. So what I did is excused myself and headed into the bar, before they did. They then came in, it was a small bar with few tables, i was lucky to find the first table by the door all to myself. I waved at her an she came we continued our conversation from the door till the friends caught up with us. I introduced myself to the friends and conversed briefly with each one of them. Then went back to the one I liked. I then let them talk among themselves while I amused myself watching TV. Had a short conversation with one of their friends.
Then it gets interesting. One of the girls just lifts up her tshirt and flashes some girl across the bar.
I perplexed asked her friend why she did that, and she tells me that this girl across the bar asked her to.
She wasnt that far away so I called on her waving for her to come. And asked her to return the favor, but she said she does not do that. Then I asked her to at leas say thanks. The Money part, is that I start introducing the girl from across the bar to this group of three girls as if I had come with them. The started conversing and now I was part of the group. Stayed there for a little while but then I grabbed the hand of the girl I liked from the group pulled her towards me and asked her what were they planning to do, she said they were going to a club after, I told her that i was to tired to go and I was just going to head home, she also said she was not really wanting to because she was tired as well. I told her she should go because it was a friends night out and she was part of the group, but if she gave me her phone # we could have coffee some time. She seemed excited and gave me her # she said I should call her this week.
(basically I managed the conversation in such a way that I made it look like if she had asked me to go to the club and i was politely declining but I would call her if she was to give me her #, don't think she realized how all that happened, but yeah, i got her #)
Before leaving I hugged all her friends good bye and asked the girl that fashed if she could flash one more time so that I could take a pic on my cam phone, she said only if I didnt capture her face. And so she did, now I have a phone cam picture of her boobs. It was a good time.

Aproach #13
Now I was heading home for sure, I had more than met my quota but when heading home I saw this cute blond seating down by the fire hydrant where I live, she had a really old German sheppard dog next to her. Needless to say, I used the same “can i play with your dog routine” and it was a great opener. Found out she was Italian and so am I so after that I had it. We talked for almost an hour, these because my bud told me he was supposed to pick me up from there to go practice for the band but didn't show up. I had so much rapport on this girl it wasn't even funny. Taked about her job, the dog, her lifestyle etc. she gave me her # within 15 min of talking to her, and the rest was me waiting for my buddy just yapping away. When he didn't show up an things started to linger a bit, I excused myself and told her It was to cold so I would wait inside. I really clicked with this girl, though she is a little new age-y so was my ex so I knew exactly how to relate. I like this one, she is a professional ballet dancer and lives a few blocks from me. She says she will cook for me one of this days.. awesome.

That was all folks.

Now here are a few pointers that I learned while doing all this.

1)Before you start Sarging, get your body language straight and right, worry how you are going to stand, walk, look at the girls you like etc. now is the time to worry, once you get it down. That's it. There wont be any time to self evaluate or focus on yourself or comb yourself or whatever it is that you do, once you start sarging the rest of the time you have to focus on them all the time, at all times.
2)Keep your mind bussy so you don't get self conscious, when you are not eying your chick, spend your time ratting all the girls around you so you can tell which is an HB5 and which is an HB7 and who is worth the effort and how much attitude are you willing to take based on their phase value, this will make you confident too.
3)If there is more than one, talk to all of them introduce yourself to each one at the time.
4)Joke around and have a good time, I think this was one of the pilars of my success, since I had already met my quota for the day the rest was just having fun carelessly of how they responded.
5)Turn your sexuality up, meaning, if you like a girl stare at her as you would if you liked her, and show no remorse about it. Don't look desperate, just look irreverent, kind of like saying ”yes I like you yes i am looking at your but I will see when I approach you” have that look when you look a them in the eyes but don't linger. Once she returns your look either go for the kill or get out, else you look hesitant and that will screw you when you do move for the kill.

My mistake for the night, I did linger a bit to much on the italian dancer after she gave me her number, but that is because my friend never showed up. Ohh well, I got good rapport on her so I think it will pan out when I call her.

Will call them all after wednesday, will see how it goes, if they answer my calls or if they even remember me.

Comments?? Questions? Ideas?

You guys let me know.

Thanks for your interest

Cheers,

did you have wings or was this all solo?

This was all solo dude, my plan was to collect as many rejections as possible so at this stage of the game I didn't feel that having a wing or any friends watching would give me the complete freedom to I needed to crash and burn

Approachies of 06/27/06

Hi all,
These are my approaches for Today:

Approach #1: At the university gym:

I met this girl over the counter when I wanted to renew my gym membership at school over the summer. She was an HB4 pushing it, so I was not about to get her # but since it was good convenient practice, it was already 7:30 pm and I was most of my day at the office, I had to practice with her. I decided I had no intention to close with her but I would toy with her. I make her laugh, I a really money at joking around and talking, I just never new that. I could tell her interest level was going up but then I looked at her stomach and I could not bring myself to do anything else but tease her. Then I left.

Approach #2 at a bar in the corner.

I passed by this bar and they had 10cent wings special so I went in, with a greater intention to Sarge than to eat (of course) but it was convenient. I sat at the bar to create opportunity for oppenings. There wasn't really any girls around me but I noticed I had the attention of the Bar Tender an HB6 to HB7 and her trainee, an HB6-HB7 as well. I have developed, or at least I am developing really money body language so I sat there pretty, looked at her making my intentions clear that I was in did looking at her but she was to come if she wanted to talk. She literally stood in front of me the whole time while her poor trainee was picking up the slack, so I talked to her. I asked:
The Phoenix: Hey, quick question for you... on your days off when you want to hang out, do you go to the bars??
HB6: ohh, I don't have free time except mondays and wednesdays but yeah, i do go to small quiet bars when I want to hang out with friends, there is this bar at____ blah blah blah

The Phoenix: at that point the conversation had started, so every time she would mention something I would pick it up comment about it or joke about it, or ask about it, sort of letting her open up more and more. I was really Money. People, and her boss kept on call in her to do stuff, and after she got done she would come back and we would continue talking. They guy seating right next to me, was kind of on shock, so he triend to join the conversation to talk to her as well, better, I let him but he wasn't very good, he was to hung up on the stories he had to tell rather than analysing what the bar tender was saying to lead the subjects. She kept on addressing me, and I pretended I was PDaddy so I would handle her coolly as if she had to entertain me with her stories. Her interest level was high, then the trainee came to join the conversation, I talked to her as well in a really cool manner, but since she was training her boss kept on pulling thisone away.
I handleled the conversation really well to the point that I was ready to close, so I decided to go for it, but when I asked her for her digits, she said she could not give her # away at the bar saying something like occupational hazard. I may not have read this girls Body language too well, I though I was pulling it off but she denied me. I laughed about it, for a moment she moved to the other corner of the bar, I could tell she did not feel confortable denying me, you know, chicks and rejection. But I sat there and when she came back I continued our converzation as if nothing had happened at all. This set it at ease, and we talked some more, though she was a little more guarded than before. The guy next to me was shocked that I asked for her # since everyone knows that Bar Tenders get hit-on on hourly bases and that just never works. But I needed the rejection and I was confident that had it played it better she could have said yes.
Some times, because of bad experiences, female bar tenders guard themself like that and I would assume she wasn't expecting me to ask her for her # . Now that I thing about it, a better strategy would have been to leave the bar while I still looked really cool to hang out with, come back some other time as a friend and on the third or forth time, ask her out. I needed to practice closing for the day though so I did it. I needed that rejection to, though it did not stung as much as I would have expected it to.

Damn, I need to find out a place where I can find chicks to sarge after 7:00pm.

The good: I am betting better and better in my body language, easy, I just think I am the ****, start my approach with that mentality and never think twice to re-evalutate my status. Once I starge sarging, I block all thoughts of how I look, sound or come accross, and I focus entirely on my victim her body language and what she is saying.

The bad: I felt rushed because I needed to practice closing, I should try a more artistic approach more casual.

Ideas? Comments?

Thansk for passing by.

Cheers,

July 1st 2006
Yo,
Brothas:

It is scary how one can progress so fast by doing the boodcamp. I got 6 # closes so far, and I called one on Thrus, got no answer or response so I was a bit down, didn't leave MSG and I called only once we had exchanged phone #s so she had mine on her phone too. I really liked this girl and I felt I had built some rapport. Now Here is how the story goes:

She called friday while I was on Band Practice. I answered and told her I called she said she knew and wanted to call back but had not had a chance.
I agreed to have her come for dinner with me and my band. She agreed.

When she joined us I had plenty of social proof but I knew we had to have our alone time, I knew it was going to come but did not know when.

She had to leave home in the middle of dinner because her grandma was stoping by her place to drop something. I knew this, she had told me before she agreed to join me. I could read on her voice and tonality that in did she had High Interest in meeting me.
When she left in the middle of dinner, she left money to pay for her share (a plus + I hate coinsided bi$tches who think think they deserve it all free.) She also said that once she had her grandma drop of the stuff and go she would come back and join us. She took her time, so I was about to ditch her and go with my friends to a bar but she called back and she was running on her way (The restaurant was just a few blocks from where she lives)

I decided to get my alone time then so I sent my friends packing, and stayed waiting for her. She met me, and we walked all around the streets in the city and by the lake. We stopped by my place right on the way so that I could drop off some stuff I had with me. She came in we hung out for a little while, and I knew we weren't just yet ready to stay there so I proposed to go for a walk. (somewhere in the bibble I read that the best dates are based on activity and not just talking) she agreed, I basically run the who, we walked a lake sat down, given the isolated places where she was going with me I knew right away she wanted to be with me and was ready for KINO. I grabbed her hand and she liked it. It wasn't one of my smoothest moves but it was balltsy and I made it in such a way that it looked like it was only expected. We talked and talked, then past midnight I took her to this 24 hr coffee shop where we had icecream. We spent so much time talking and walking I could see she was tired to walk but would not complain and only follow me. I proposed to go back to my place for "tea" and perhaps a movie, made it look like the natural stop, and she agreed. Didn't have to be a genius to know where this was going.
Played the movie we sat in my bed and before we knew it we where going at it heavily. I got no sleep, and every ounce of energy of my body has beed drained. We went at it so many times I lost count. She was very affectionate a bit reluctant in the beginning but once the whole thing was set in motion she was very willing.
She is a dancer and has one of the most perfect bodies I have seen. She seemed to like me alot. after a while we cuddled and she just lay next to me caresing me and all that.

Well, she spent the night, then today I took her out with some of my for some brunch. Then she had to go to work, she'll be out by 10pm.

I have another 4 numbers to call and I am feeling a little lazy. I don't want to be a jerk with this girl, but I read on the bibble that when one goes out with a girl on must always have a backup girl Pook-advice, so that the relationship does not morph into a One-itis as it normally does when there is only one option to choose from.
This relationship may come to fast for her and shock her so I have to be smooth and give her space. I also have to keep on sarging and getting my rejections down so that I don't revert to my AFC form. There is always that fear that if I keep stagnant I will revert back to an AFC and start making the same mistakes.
This is all to new for me and I wasn't expecting to get this far this fast! counting I started this Journal just 2 weeks ago.

Any of you in similar situations? Where does one go next after the first success?
How can I meet more girls, Sarge call and close while not being a Jerk to this girl or hurt her?
Ideas??

Please let me know.

Thanks for your advice and Interest.

Cheers,

Yo brothas!!
It has been a week, we are entering the 4th week since the Clan of the =hoenix was created and there has been so many abrupt changes in my life I just don't know how to keep up. Ok, lets start at the beginning.
Progress for the week of Jun 29 -jul 06

Approaches:
I have lost most of my fear to approaching women, I feel so confident, I just go and talk to them and expect them to engage me in converzarion. Most do, and those who don't I leavewithout a second thought.

Approach#21
Girl tanning at the park: I was getting in the mindset to approach so I demanded of my self full obedience of the 3 second rule, so when I saw her in the middle of the park lawn by herself tanning reading a book, I knew this could be challenging but I walked to her right away to approach.
Y opening line was:
The Phoenix: Excuse me, I noticed you from far over there a few minutes ago and I was debating how I could walk up to you and say Hi without looking creepy, ....... But I can't think of anything ........... So...... HI!!
HB6: (smiling) hi,
The Phoenixpointing at her book) ohh is that a romance nobel?? Hmm I ised to blah, blah, blah......

Results: got her number, I could tell she had high I'LL. Called her yesterday and met her again yesterday, talked some more, she was shy and repressed, used kino held her hand and by the end of the night I was making out with her.
I wasn't really into her, nor did I want to take it further. Since I am seeying the dancer girl I met on friday and I like her I didn't want to be a bastard. But I kisses her and made out with her as practice to learn and get familiar on how touse kino to kiss close. I just read her body language and after talking to her I knew she was ready. She wants to meet up over the weekend but I am not sure if I want to, I know if I do she may expect me to sleep with her and I don't know if I can do that to my dancer GF.

Approach#2: HB7 hangging out by the beach.

I had just gotten another # from a cold approach so I was feling confident, I walked into a public restroom in front of north ave beach to relieve my bladder when I noticed a huge ZIT the size of Mnt Helen sprouting out of my left cheek. I was feeling like "FCK!! Now how am I going to sarge with this thing on my face" then I just decided to have fun and see if I could use this in my advantage.
Coming out of the restroom I saw this HB7 hanging out by a railing staring at the lake while listenning to her ipod. So I walked right up to her and said:

The Phoenix: Hi, hey do you see this Zit (pointing at the volcano sprouting out of my face) does it look really bad? I just noticed it and I am feeling very sel contious about it
HB7: (smiled and was a bit in a shock, I could tell she didn't buy my selfcontious claim) Nahh, it doesn't look that noticeable at all
The Phoenix: ohh thank you, or are you just trying to be nice when you don't even know me, oh by the way my name is.... Blah blah blah.....

We had a short conversation and she was opening up when my phone started ringging and it would not shut up, I was expecting to meet up with my band brothers later so I had to answer. This killed the mood completerly and I had to go right after since my friends were waiting. But it was a fun chat, I didn't try to close because I could read by her body language she had cooled down too much for that, and I didn't have the time to start over.

Lessons: being bold really impress her,and it was a very unconventional opening so she was soo of guard.
Silence your cell before going sarging.

The other 3 approaches where your typical hey what's up approaches, I read their body language and I could tell they were not ready for a close so I didn't even try. This is a bad habit, even if I know it will not work I should learn to accept rejections so I should have gone for them regardless.

I haven't felt any preassure to close because I got this new girl that I like and every night I have FVckd like a Puma, so I am so relaxed and natural on my approaches it feels like nothing.

I feel like I don't wanna close that much anymore, I would sarge for the experience and to get better but I don't want to get it on with any of them. I keep on sarging because if I don't my AFC tendencies will come back to me and I may revert to an AFC and become needy, dependent and get One-itis, and this may cause me to act like an idiot and loose my girl. Isn't it funny? I am sarging to save the relationship with my GF!!

Oh well, I still have to meet up this weekend with that girl I made out with, she asked me to call her too, I am dreadding it, may be I will drop out of the picture before this goes to far.

Questions? Comments?

Thanks for reading, and feel free to drop me a few lines of advice.

Cheers,