Introduction.

I've just noticed this forum, I have a thread in the General Discussion, a journal of approaches with my names on it, saying 'Approach Journal of a Jedi'. I thought I'd make a formal introduction of myself in this section.

Basically, I'm a 30 y/o living with my parents, and, I'm somewhere between a BAFC and an AFC, I dont think I"m motivated enough somehow, which is why I never got too far with any girl, it's like I have a few obivous stickley points I have to work on or something.

Anyway, I'm impressed with the overall presentation of the site, the DJ bible, the weekly readings, and all the intellectual capital and discussions that are provided here.

A bit about myself; I'm not into the club and bar scene, although I've heard that they are good places to pick up women. I'm more often just into church, office, and around my local area, be it a mall or video store or something. I have a few friends that I see on occasion, which I'm not too attracted to, but are a 'piece in the side' if I really decided to get laid, sort of a sexual safety net, that was never tried. I do have religious considerations against pre-maritial sex, and generally, it's not something that I would like to do (I suppose unless I really get hot on someone).

I've tried the online dating scene, but I've seemed to be more successful at expressing my issues on those venues as opposed to actually going anywhere - I'm still playing around with it and hopefully I'll will work.

I hope to be motivated by staying on this board, and either get a girlfriend, get laid, or have a sence that girls that I like are attracted to me or want me - and that's it. I'm also Luke Skywalker in enotalone, and Jedi Student on Friendzoned, where I may post similar issues to here. I'm also C3P0 on a Social Anxiety board. And former member of the 'Involuntary Celebacy' board under the name 'noghri', although, it was a negative board consisting or rather 'Association and Hang-out of WBAFC's' would be a proper name.

My parents and i are planning to go to Italy next week, although it is tempting to stay home here while they go out so I could be more free here as far as women are concerned. Well, I've never been there before, and it's part of my heritage, so I may as well go. I'm not going to cancel a trip on the propsect of meeting some girl here and bringing her home while my parents are out or going to a beach.

Wow

This ought to be good....

*pops popcorn and kicks back*

Bad_Lil'Pixie said:

This ought to be good....

*pops popcorn and kicks back*

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:cheer:

Basically, I'm a 30 y/o living with my parents

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May I ask why you're still with your parents at this age?

Desdinova said:

May I ask why you're still with your parents at this age?

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Why not? Well, the answer is simple, I dont have a good job that would provide a reliable income in order to pay a rent in a half-decent place, and my credit rating is also shot. I've had a bit of rotten luck leading up to this type of situation that I dont intend to get into right now.

Anyway, the goal here is to succeed with women, and as far as women are concerned, you only need to tell them what they need to know in order to get where you want to go, so it's a bit of a moot point, even though it may be an important issue. I'm getting along just fine with my parents. The only thing is I tend to go out allot with my mom. She is with me in church, and lots of other places to, such as shopping. So, it's really no big deal. It just cramps my style a bit if she is with me in public because it would seem difficult to portray that I'm an independent person.

The last two dates I had from the internet were girls who were living on their own, and one of them was 5 years younger than I was. I was honest about my living arrangements, and on the second one (one I liked a bit more), I told her that I was helping my parents out because they are seniors (which is true), and they needed me there.

Perhaps in the future, I should just blatantly lie and say that I'm living on my own, or at the very least portray this as a temporary living situation, where I'm planning to get independent. They are not likely going to be cross-examining me on it, and it's rather a nosey stupid question anyway that serves no purpose to them other than to screen me out.

I know that honesty about living with my parents does not impress anyone and is likely a red-flag I would appear as a dependent loser to my prospect. Usually, if the question is posited, it's a screening question I suppose, rather than a genuine one or a conversational one, or why would that type of question be asked?

Luke, are you a couple of lightsabers short of a Deathstar. I can feel the troll in you Luke. Trollness leads to annoyance, annoyance leads to anger, anger leads to, well you get the idea.

I dont have a good job that would provide a reliable income in order to pay a rent in a half-decent place,

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Personally, I think it would be in your best interest to get this area of your life worked out before focussing on women. You've had more than 10 years to work on it, and you haven't done a whole heck of a lot.

Women are attracted to men, and a couple things that separate a man from a boy is responsibility and independence.

Perhaps in the future, I should just blatantly lie and say that I'm living on my own, or at the very least portray this as a temporary living situation, where I'm planning to get independent.

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What really gets me about this is you have to lie about your living situation because you have absolutely no intent of creating a life of your own. You are dependent on your parents and other people's opinions.

You have a long way to go, my friend.

I've tried the online dating scene, but I've seemed to be more successful at expressing my issues on those venues as opposed to actually going anywhere - I'm still playing around with it and hopefully I'll will work.

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It also sounds like you're a social retard. Instead of actually being with human beings, you'd prefer to be under the disguise of a computer handle. The real world does not exist through a coaxial cable.

Also, after you meet women through the internet, you have no choice but to go out in public and date them. You can't work effective game through an internet connection. Effective game is done one on one with a woman.

In summary, you need to get your ass out of your parents house and discover the world outside. But before you do that, go read the DJ bible.

Luke Skywalker said:

....And former member of the 'Involuntary Celebacy' board .....

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I Went and found that board (i think) DAMNNNN, I GOT DEPREST JUST LOOKING AT IT!!!!!!!!

The strength of this 'DJ' system, or board, what have you is determined whether it can work on anyone who is motivated who has enough balls to follow through some socially risky behaviour.

I know people who live on their own that are part of the 'Involuntary Celebacy' board, and STILL have ABSOLUTELY no success with woman.

I've read a book review from amazon.com about a guy who has success with women, who lives with his parents, and he attributes his success for knowing how to make women feel romantic.

No - this is a DJ forum, and it's number one focus here is simply ONE tract, and that is to WORK. Living independently is nice - but I would play the role of the Terminator who is programmed for one thing only - to succeed with woman, no matter what circumstance I am in.

Desdinova said:

It also sounds like you're a social retard. Instead of actually being with human beings, you'd prefer to be under the disguise of a computer handle. The real world does not exist through a coaxial cable.

Also, after you meet women through the internet, you have no choice but to go out in public and date them. You can't work effective game through an internet connection. Effective game is done one on one with a woman.

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Negative. I have meet people through the internet. I have approached girls.

I do not recall ever saying this on my previous posts. I may not have had a 'relationship' or 'sex', or 'marriage', but I'm not a social retard.

I have no choice.

Christ, I don't want to but I'm forced to inform you that I am indeed


YOUR FATHER !

And when I'm talking to ya ,from behind my black visage, you'll listen.

Living with your parents to take care of them is a noble thing to do. Fvcking up your credit and making excuses to not live your life to it's capacity is truly unforgivable and a total waste.

I do not recall ever saying this on my previous posts.

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You've given me reason to believe it with this thread:

I'm a 30 y/o living with my parents

A bit about myself; I'm not into the club and bar scene, although I've heard that they are good places to pick up women. I'm more often just into church, office, and around my local area, be it a mall or video store or something. I have a few friends that I see on occasion,

I've tried the online dating scene, but I've seemed to be more successful at expressing my issues on those venues as opposed to actually going anywhere

My parents and i are planning to go to Italy next week, although it is tempting to stay home here while they go out

I'm also C3P0 on a Social Anxiety board.

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Man, you can't get anymore clear than that last point. Do yourself a favor and do the bootcamp.

...or is your social phobia something much deeper than what has appeared in your post?

but I would play the role of the Terminator who is programmed for one thing only - to succeed with woman, no matter what circumstance I am in.

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The secret to being successful with women starts with yourself. If you're looking for a quick fix or a magic pill to attract women, you might want to try mASF instead. If you would like to not only be successful with women, but be successful in other aspects of your life, then stay.

Luke, respectfully I like to ask, how much comfort does your family provide, do you pay rent, do laundry, cook, make your own bed and are you an only child???

To me, there is this window, through this window a man wants to sow oats, discover himself, see his potential, flex his muscles and take his life out for a spin and see how it drives. But like any window, you have to open it.

Have your parents overly provided and pampered you so much that you have NO DESIRE to open that window? Have they shut that window by telling you that you will fail if you attempt to go on your own?

I can see where this would be possible in some situations and a
much easier road. You are NOT JUST your parent’s child, you are YOU. Do you know who that is??

You use character screen names (Luke S.) and analogies of movies characters (Terminator) to express who you are. Sum 'you' up in your own words for us, do not use examples of any characters at all, just raw words to describe you.

Luke I have a big, big fear in my heart for you. My fear is that you do not have a satisfying relationship with yourself. YOU HAVE TO HAVE THIS, Luke, before you are able to have a decent one with someone else.

If you do land a chick you are going to look to her to supply something that you can't give yourself, definition. Good lord man, don't ever give a woman a clean slate of yourself, because one day, when you begin to self define and find yourself bound by her laws and her goals you will resent her for molding you to meet HER needs ONLY. You will find your needs have gone unmet and unfulfilled. Resentment is a bytch, it really is, especially when it is resentment of self. No one can turn back time.

Luke, I think you have added a new element to Rollo Tomossi's AFC quality list:

The Victim Schema - a man who finds it easier NOT to live up to his fullest potential, who renders his powers to others so he will not have to be accountable for them.

Define yourself Luke, time is a tickin'. You are NOT a victim, being your own man does NOT exclude you parents from your life, it just places them properly in it, they are no longer lead dog, you are.

"The Victim Schema - a man who finds it easier NOT to live up to his fullest potential, who renders his powers to others so he will not have to be accountable for them."

Wow, this is me in a nutshell. Well, WAS, I hope, as things have been changing recently.

It takes a while to learn to be responsible for your own actions. I only learned by mistake... I just took action a few times and found out that it does pay dividends.

Luke, you sound very depressed. Clearly you have issues with social anxiety, are there others too?

Living with your parents at such a late age can be depressing in our society. It is not so in other societies, even the more "macho" ones, so keep your head up. But getting the heck out of there will do WONDERS for your psyche. Trust me, I was living with my parents off and on up until the age of 29. This last year and a half has been the best of my life, and I attribute much of it to getting out there and being at least somewhat responsible for myself. Start with the little things... a better paying job, cooking for yourself, and so on. The woman thing will come.

Desdinova said:

The secret to being successful with women starts with yourself. If you're looking for a quick fix or a magic pill to attract women, you might want to try mASF instead. If you would like to not only be successful with women, but be successful in other aspects of your life, then stay.

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Great. I'm on that mASF you talked about, and it's overloaded with info.
Great tip.

Bad_Lil'Pixie said:

Luke, respectfully I like to ask, how much comfort does your family provide, do you pay rent, do laundry, cook, make your own bed and are you an only child???

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They dont provide a girlfriend, or any 'getting laid' opportunities.

Bad_Lil'Pixie said:

You use character screen names (Luke S.) and analogies of movies characters (Terminator) to express who you are. Sum 'you' up in your own words for us, do not use examples of any characters at all, just raw words to describe you.

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These are good character names. Luke Skywalker's enemy is Darth Vadar, who is the epithomy of all fears, fear of rejection with women, and all problems and obsticles relating to success with girls. So, that certainly defines my goals here. Terminator represents a strong motivation, and he has no feelings of being hurt, and wont cry infront of a woman or anything, he's just programmed to do whatever it has to do. Thus, these are images of success, perserance and motivation.

BadLilPixie said:

Luke I have a big, big fear in my heart for you. My fear is that you do not have a satisfying relationship with yourself. YOU HAVE TO HAVE THIS, Luke, before you are able to have a decent one with someone else.

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This sounds like girley talk, not man talk. That's for wussies to think about.
When hot babes are chasing after me, then why the heck should I care?

BadLilPixie said:

If you do land a chick you are going to look to her to supply something that you can't give yourself, definition. Good lord man, don't ever give a woman a clean slate of yourself, because one day, when you begin to self define and find yourself bound by her laws and her goals you will resent her for molding you to meet HER needs ONLY. You will find your needs have gone unmet and unfulfilled. Resentment is a bytch, it really is, especially when it is resentment of self. No one can turn back time.

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* If * I do land a chick. Boy that sounds optimistic. I am *going* to land a chick. Again, it sounds nice what you are saying, but it feels mushy, introspection, girl's stuff, not hard core action guy's stuff. As far as I'm concerned, nothing defines better than experience, and that's field experience. Soon, I will initiate myself with my first challenge as will be posted on this thread later. A man will seek this experience out to define himself by taking risks, not by sitting at home and writing diaries or introspective notes all day.

BadLilPixie said:

Luke, I think you have added a new element to Rollo Tomossi's AFC quality list:

The Victim Schema - a man who finds it easier NOT to live up to his fullest potential, who renders his powers to others so he will not have to be accountable for them.

Define yourself Luke, time is a tickin'. You are NOT a victim, being your own man does NOT exclude you parents from your life, it just places them properly in it, they are no longer lead dog, you are.

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You underestimate how difficult it is to land a proper job, or generally earn money. I dont know how your economy is where you are, but up here, if you dont have a good profession, there is nothing but crap temp jobs that is still difficult hire and easy fire or lay-offs. I'm not going to trade this environment to live in poverty or live in the streets.

Anyway, I do not see how this is at all related to anything, I mean, a girl doesn't have to come to my house anyway, and I wouldn't be inviting her here anyway, even if I was living on my own - unless I would want to risk someone stalking me by knowing my real home address.

Initiation.

I'm going to pursue a girl out, who seems, intentionally, or unintentionally to be putting up B***h screens. She changed her avatar to a guy when I went on the MSN site again, yet claims that she is sincere and wants to go out with me, but doesn't want a relationship.

Goals is simple: Pursue her to go to a musical symphony and to the science centre. Two places.

Results are simple: Either she is going to comply, or she is going to reject, both results are acceptable. So far, she has said she is happy to go to these places with me, BUT some bull**** about my beliefs coming in the way of friendship, and she is recovering from something I did that made her hurt and confused. (yeah, right, but she seems to enjoy hanging out or talking with other guys to take me that seriously).

Because she said she is HAPPY to go those specific venues, let's call it a day, and pursue her to go to these two specific venues.

If I succeed at either getting a final rejection, or actually going there, then I'm going to knight myself up a notch from a WBAFC, to a BAFC on the first initation romp. I did not let a guy-image or some shield get to me, or deter my resolve of what I want.

Symbolically, this shall represent getting laid. I dont want to get laid with her, and she claims she is a virgin too. I'm not interested in that. I'm interested in pursuing any goals I want with a girl and her complying with them. Whether it's getting laid, eating ice cream, or doing jumping jacks together, or going to a kid's fest, whatever, it's getting what you want that counts. So, the science fair may be for kids, but, since it's something I want, and if she complies with it, then that cool.

AFter I go to those two venues, then I intend to dump her, and will resist the urge to ask her out again. I will think of ways of pursuing this later, but will likely send another email to her address.

If I can get WHAT I want from this girl, and not get distracted by any sideline things, such as 'relatoinships' or 'beliefs' or whatever, then that's cool. What I want is to go to these two specific venues with her before dissappearing out of her life, or get a definate rejection from her saying she doesn't want to go to these places with me. Anything else is wussy.

******

Any further 'initiation' ideas are welcome.

Here troll, I've got an initiation idea for you. You get some girl to tie you face down on the bed and paddle your buttocks with a heavy table tennis bat. Hopefully she'll comply with your request.

I can see that your troll de plume and banter are intended to conjure an image of the comic book nerd from the Simpsons, but there are genuinely distressed users who need to use this board, so please disconnect.

Originally Posted by BadLilPixie
Luke I have a big, big fear in my heart for you. My fear is that you do not have a satisfying relationship with yourself. YOU HAVE TO HAVE THIS, Luke, before you are able to have a decent one with someone else.

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LUKE SKYWALKER
This sounds like girley talk, not man talk. That's for wussies to think about.
When hot babes are chasing after me, then why the heck should I care?

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She is spot on here. You need to realize that not every guy here is the be all to end all. Pixie is one of the few women I'll listen to and accept advice from. It's a wussie move for you to dismiss what she is saying to you ( let me reiterate to you that she is right).