She broke down in my car

Last week, this one girl (call her Jen) I've been seeing recently broke down in tears while I dropped her off at home. We were having a conversation in my car till I told her "You know, I like you Jen." very casually (because I was enjoying the talk with her). She smiled and went silent for a few seconds, and then said "I want to tell you something, but uh... I don't know if I should..." I ask her what's on her mind and she says "Nah, forget it. I probably shouldn't..." and she went silent till I dropped her off at home. Before she opens the door to leave, I tell her "You can be direct with me, we're human after all." and that's when she breaks down in tears and says "When you said 'I like you', it got to me... I don't have much friends... I'm lonely..." so I had no choice but to bust out the kleenex box and give it to her. I then gave her a hug and told her I'm here and that she's not alone, etc. She then said "And thanks for actually having a conversation with me and not just trying to get laid like every other guy I meet... thank you".

The next day, she calls me up apologizing for breaking down, saying she doesn't usually let her defenses down. What the heck happened? Was this a test? Perhaps her breaking down was my ticket to being in the infamous friends zone.

I saw her yesterday since the break-down (told her she can tag with me while I was at my friends' house watching the hockey game) and I might actually see her again tonight.

Anyone?

This is a hard thing to respond to with girls. It sounds like you made some comments that are going to get you in the friend's zone, and by seeing her often after the occurence that will work against you even more. Try breaking contact from her for a while then wait for her to start talking to you again. Sounds like she shared an emotional connection with you so if you break off contact she should come back and you should be good.

Nothing is guaranteed though, if it fails move on. I probably would have grabbed the middle of her waist and said "It's alright" and nothing else to let her know that I do not want to be just another friend she can cry to all the time but not be a complete *******. You will definetely get a LJBF if you tell her all the crap like I am here for you and everything will be ok etc.

mmx said:

I had no choice but to bust out the kleenex box and give it to her. I then gave her a hug and told her I'm here and that she's not alone, etc. She then said "And thanks for actually having a conversation with me and not just trying to get laid like every other guy I meet... thank you".

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That is a red flag, your chick all of the sudden starts crying for no reason. Over-emotional chicks tend to blow things out of proportions and suck you into their drama filled life. Be careful that you keep the boundries between being her date as oppose to a friend. I would have left it with the kleenex box and change the subject since she has not yet established real high interest in you and you are sort of titering between a relationship/friendship world at the moment.

Giving her a hug and telling her that she is not alone and that you will be there for her is something a "FRIEND WOULD DO". Why would you say that??? she just ruined a perfectly good evening by not making out with you and instead use you as a tampon and you reward her for it??!! That is why you got that particular response which its translation is:" Hey you are not like the other guys who fvck me and leave me because you have yet to fvck me but you are already promising that you won't leave me!! why should I let you fvck me now???""

(I sound harsh I know but hey that is how you play this game.)

If she still wants to see you make sure you focus on the dating aspects, make it fun with plenty of kino and if she starts with the whole feelings B.S, then its your duty to steer the conversation back to the date. If she insists on continueing with this behaviour then end the date and drive her home.

DJD

Well, I didn't necessarly tell her word to word that "I'm here for her". I told her she wouldn't need to worry and that she'll find friends and that for now, I'll stick by her side. She really doesn't have any good friends she can count on. She has been wanting to do more things together now though, but I've been rejecting her ideas and substituting them with my own. For example, she wanted to go shopping, but I refused on the idea. She asked me yesterday what I'm doing for the weekend. I told her she can come clubbing with my friends and I.

Noob said:

thats amazing that she would open up to you like that... but the downside is i think she may have moved you ito the friend zone... or she see's you as a long term relationship material, i dunno

best thing to do is kino... that way you will be able to find out once and for sure

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Oh yes, I have slowly started the kino train. I'll probably be able to judge whether it's working out or not this weekend if she comes clubbing.

mmx said:

she breaks down in tears and says "When you said 'I like you', it got to me... I don't have much friends... I'm lonely..."

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This is a HUGE red flag; if someone has few friends, and they're not natural loners (hint-loners don't feel lonely), it means that

1) Something's very wrong with them that's preventing them from making and holding onto friends

2) If you hang around them they'll clutch and cling to you to try to keep you in their lives

Next this one; not even the best sex in the world will compensate you for the drama and grief she'll bring into your life.

mmx, you screwed up. You let her make you into her emotional tampon by responding in the way that you did. You were being a nice guy and look what it got you. If things had gone right, you wouldn't have questioned yourself enough to be posting here.

Read what DJDamage said to you. There's nothing I will say that he didn't already say. Read it over and over until it gets thru your skull.

DJDamage said:

That is a red flag, your chick all of the sudden starts crying for no reason. Over-emotional chicks tend to blow things out of proportions and suck you into their drama filled life. Be careful that you keep the boundries between being her date as oppose to a friend. I would have left it with the kleenex box and change the subject since she has not yet established real high interest in you and you are sort of titering between a relationship/friendship world at the moment.

Giving her a hug and telling her that she is not alone and that you will be there for her is something a "FRIEND WOULD DO". Why would you say that??? she just ruined a perfectly good evening by not making out with you and instead use you as a tampon and you reward her for it??!! That is why you got that particular response which its translation is:" Hey you are not like the other guys who fvck me and leave me because you have yet to fvck me but you are already promising that you won't leave me!! why should I let you fvck me now???""

(I sound harsh I know but hey that is how you play this game.)

If she still wants to see you make sure you focus on the dating aspects, make it fun with plenty of kino and if she starts with the whole feelings B.S, then its your duty to steer the conversation back to the date. If she insists on continueing with this behaviour then end the date and drive her home.

DJD

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Good advice. Although, I don't necessarily see her as a drama queen. For sure, I will just next her if her intentions are being friends, no doubt about that. You guys are absolutely right though that I'm somewhere in the middle right now (friendship and relationship zone). I guess the next few days will determine the outcome. Or perhaps in a week or two, since I'll be leaving for Cuba and she won't be seeing me for a while.

Omni said:

This is a HUGE red flag; if someone has few friends, and they're not natural loners (hint-loners don't feel lonely), it means that

1) Something's very wrong with them that's preventing them from making and holding onto friends

2) If you hang around them they'll clutch and cling to you to try to keep you in their lives

Next this one; not even the best sex in the world will compensate you for the drama and grief she'll bring into your life.

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Thinking about this more thoroughly, you're right on the red flag.

And yes Charm, I did screw up. Mistake noted.

Thanks for the advice everyone. Much appreciated. NEXT!

Don't get sucked into the drama. I sense red flags as well. I'd just ignore this event and pretend nothing happened. If this happens again then run for the hills.

Gonna agree with DJDamage, this chick doesn't know how to control her emotions. Do you know what little kids do when they don't get what they want? They cry. Now I don't mind seeing that in kids but by adulthood if that shat is continuing, something is wrong with their head.

Can you see yourself being married to this?

I know an AFC who thinks he's the party man, he had wedding plans with this psycho broad, and when he didn't agree to something in the wedding plans, you know what she did instead of trying to persuade after he gave her a $10,000 ring? She cried and locked herself in the room. And you know what he did instead of being firm and tried to talk to her? He bought her flowers and made reservations for a fancy restaurant. She was happy, she got her way plus everything else. I told him wtf was he doing, He said he has the money and he wants her happy... and I added, so YOU can be happy too, eh? And he said yes. I shook my head and I told him if your employee (he owns a company) did that what would you do? He said he'd fire them on the spot.

Something's wrong with this world when men put women on the pedestal like that. They're nothing but men with tits and vaginas.