dannowillbookem
Master Don Juan
OPENING NOTE: Well I usually don't write long ass guides to life like this, but I've been in the hospital/sick for the past three weeks and have been watching Seinfeld DVD's all day and over time made this complex analysis of basic conversation. Now I don't know if anyone out there is actually desperatly bad enough at conversation to actually need this, but I know I once was and well we have some pretty impresively bad people on this board so what the hell. All I'm asking is don't flame the hell out of me for overanalyzing basic conversation. I'm doing it for the most pathetic AFC's, so anyone who isn't a really pathetic AFC might be best to just skip this. -Danno
Conversation is incredibly easy. Really, if you're an AFC knocking your brains out over it, you need to say something to yourself real fast: relax. You're not gonna get anywhere freaking out over the thought of a girl rejecting you and you're not gonna get anywhere trying to memorize a million lines. You'll just look like a nervous fool reciting a conversation you read online, which is infact what you are.
The Introduction
You need to take it one piece at a time. Conversations are built from the ground up, like houses. Your foundation is a hello. This is the only line you have to memorize! Hello, Hi, Howdy, Hey, How's it Going, whatever you think feels right to you. If she responds, good. If she doesn't, then she is uninterested from the get go and you can give up or try again later.
The Body
Now comes the main course of the conversation, the body of the letter. First in your mind you have to pick a topic, a goal in the conversation. It's your theme, and you can have several in any conversation. You can be asking her the time, her opinion on the House Republicans Immigration Bill, whether she likes Coke or Pepsi, the name of her perfume, where she got the strange shoes, if she'd like to have sex with you, etc. You can be telling her you're superman, you're going to breakup with her, you're giving up your campaign for presidency, that she's beautiful, etc. In theory, it can be anything. Some subjects are gonna increase your chances of furthering conversation and physical interaction, but these are just examples of possibilities.
Part One: Moving it Forward
So you ask her the time. Kinda cliched, but hey its an opening.
You: Hi (introduction), do you know what time it is?(topic)
Her: (looks at watch) Yeah, its 2:30
Scary, right? Calm down, you did fine. You picked and introduction and a theme (a reason for approaching her) and she responded. If you want, you can say thanks (manners are good) and keep walking. If you want her, you can say something else. At this point you have exasperated the time subject (it was kinda shallow to begin with) and need to move on. Now you need another theme, another subject to shoot the shiit with her.
It's good if you can observe something about her. She's a relatively dainty girl, probably an HB8 even with a cute sense of style. Look at her, stupid, and pick something you like about her other than her boobs and breasts (she hears about that enough). Well, she just looked at her watch, a small silver piece with a little charm on it. Where'd she get it?
You: Thanks. Say where'd you get that watch? It looks good.
Now she can tell you about how her mum got it for her before her parents divorced and how she hasnt seen her mum in six months cause she moved to Ontario and she wears it alot cause it reminds her of her and how she'll be visiting her soon but her parents are in custody battles so she might have to move up there and even though she misses her mom she doesnt want to move cause she has alot of friends here and yadda yadda yadda.
How do you get through all that? Jumping from theme to theme! How do you do that? Ask questions. The question mark is your best friend in opening with new girls. You ask about the watch, she just says it was a gift. You ask who from? Her mom. How long ago? Three years. Why does she still wear it? She hasnt seen her mom since then. Why not? She moved to Ontario after her parents divorce.
See?
Through questions, you move a conversation forward. You'll need statements, however, if you're gonna add to it.
Part Two: Adding to It
Do you ever watch Seinfeld? If you don't, you should. Seriously, go get the TV Guide and find out what time it comes on, and make a point of watching it. Even if you don't like the 90's style clothes or even the humor, I want you to observe the conversations. They characters (Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer) never run out of things to talk about. Why? Because they analyze everything! It's the whole premise of the show, a show about nothing! How can you have a show about nothing? Analyze every little piece of life. Jerry's neighbor goes into a coma and he wants to date the guy's ex-girlfriend. He asks Kramer how long you have to wait before asking a coma victim's ex out. Kramer replies "Why wait, why not just call Dr. Kevorkian" (he was famous for making a suicide machine for terminally ill patients). Jerry then makes conversation by analyzing what's come up..."I don't get this suicide machine thing. There's no tall buildings where these people live? They can't wrap their lips around a revolver like a normal person?".
This is the meat of conversations, taking a subject thats been brought up and working through it. It's how you get the chance to make a girl laugh, its how you fill time, it's how you build rapport. Although technically Jerry used questions here, they're statements that add humor and matter to the conversation, and can make you look witty like Jerry if you make a joke.
So how do you do this yourself? Well, let's go back to the chick with the divorced parents. Your first theme was the time. It was a crappy theme, but it wasn't bad as an opener. However, there's not alot to analyze about the time. It's a number, and so you can move on, which you did. You asked her about the watch. This you can kick around a little.
You: Thanks. Say where'd you get that watch? It looks good.
Her: Thank you, it was a gift.
Now you can either ask questions, which you did earlier, or go ahead and add something to the conversation. Let's add something.
You: It's really pretty, I love silver. In fact I think my sister has a watch alot like that.
Now wait for her reply and before an akward silence happens, ask something to move the conversation forward...like who she got it from. She says her mom. You add in that your parents never buy you good shiit like that, and ask what the occasion was.
You see? It's not rocket science, you just move the conversation along until she feels like she knows you. This is called building rapport. After you build some rapport, she'll feel its safe to give you her number or, if you happen to be in a mall or near a coffee shop, stop for coffee or a bite to eat.
The Closer
Well, you had short, two minute conversation with a girl about her mum and her watch. Now you need to move on. You need to close.
The most common way a DJ wants to close a conversation with a new girl is a "number close". Your goal here is to get the contact info needed to have more conversations and possibly hot steamy sex. You can only get the number if you have enough rapport built up. How do you know if you've got the rapport needed? Well, is she smiling and laughing? Is she responding? Are the responses longer than three words apiece?
Even if you don't think you have the rapport, it's best to number close if you want the number. Why? Because you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, thats why. You got nothing to lose and everything to gain by asking.
You could also close without the number. You don't want to persue? Don't think she'll be worth the work of picking up a phone? Just don't feel like it? Whatever, it's your life. At that point yout just say something along the lines of...Hey I gotta go but it was nice talking to you...I'm on an errand for a friend so sorry I can't stop and talk...I'm loaded busy right now, wish I could chat...and these are things you would say to anyone. Old ladies, your dad, your best friend, the bum who heckled you into a conversation out front of the 7-11.
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My 666th post. Anyways, if you feel overwhelmed, relax. I know it seems like alot to know, and no, no one actually thinks through all this stuff when they are having normal day to day conversations. But if you can't even hack a normal conversation with someone, then you'll wanna think this through. And after you do that, watch it in normal life and on TV.
And watch Seinfeld. It contains the best examples of how to make conversation out of absolutely nothing.
-Danno
Conversation is incredibly easy. Really, if you're an AFC knocking your brains out over it, you need to say something to yourself real fast: relax. You're not gonna get anywhere freaking out over the thought of a girl rejecting you and you're not gonna get anywhere trying to memorize a million lines. You'll just look like a nervous fool reciting a conversation you read online, which is infact what you are.
The Introduction
You need to take it one piece at a time. Conversations are built from the ground up, like houses. Your foundation is a hello. This is the only line you have to memorize! Hello, Hi, Howdy, Hey, How's it Going, whatever you think feels right to you. If she responds, good. If she doesn't, then she is uninterested from the get go and you can give up or try again later.
The Body
Now comes the main course of the conversation, the body of the letter. First in your mind you have to pick a topic, a goal in the conversation. It's your theme, and you can have several in any conversation. You can be asking her the time, her opinion on the House Republicans Immigration Bill, whether she likes Coke or Pepsi, the name of her perfume, where she got the strange shoes, if she'd like to have sex with you, etc. You can be telling her you're superman, you're going to breakup with her, you're giving up your campaign for presidency, that she's beautiful, etc. In theory, it can be anything. Some subjects are gonna increase your chances of furthering conversation and physical interaction, but these are just examples of possibilities.
Part One: Moving it Forward
So you ask her the time. Kinda cliched, but hey its an opening.
You: Hi (introduction), do you know what time it is?(topic)
Her: (looks at watch) Yeah, its 2:30
Scary, right? Calm down, you did fine. You picked and introduction and a theme (a reason for approaching her) and she responded. If you want, you can say thanks (manners are good) and keep walking. If you want her, you can say something else. At this point you have exasperated the time subject (it was kinda shallow to begin with) and need to move on. Now you need another theme, another subject to shoot the shiit with her.
It's good if you can observe something about her. She's a relatively dainty girl, probably an HB8 even with a cute sense of style. Look at her, stupid, and pick something you like about her other than her boobs and breasts (she hears about that enough). Well, she just looked at her watch, a small silver piece with a little charm on it. Where'd she get it?
You: Thanks. Say where'd you get that watch? It looks good.
Now she can tell you about how her mum got it for her before her parents divorced and how she hasnt seen her mum in six months cause she moved to Ontario and she wears it alot cause it reminds her of her and how she'll be visiting her soon but her parents are in custody battles so she might have to move up there and even though she misses her mom she doesnt want to move cause she has alot of friends here and yadda yadda yadda.
How do you get through all that? Jumping from theme to theme! How do you do that? Ask questions. The question mark is your best friend in opening with new girls. You ask about the watch, she just says it was a gift. You ask who from? Her mom. How long ago? Three years. Why does she still wear it? She hasnt seen her mom since then. Why not? She moved to Ontario after her parents divorce.
See?
Through questions, you move a conversation forward. You'll need statements, however, if you're gonna add to it.
Part Two: Adding to It
Do you ever watch Seinfeld? If you don't, you should. Seriously, go get the TV Guide and find out what time it comes on, and make a point of watching it. Even if you don't like the 90's style clothes or even the humor, I want you to observe the conversations. They characters (Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer) never run out of things to talk about. Why? Because they analyze everything! It's the whole premise of the show, a show about nothing! How can you have a show about nothing? Analyze every little piece of life. Jerry's neighbor goes into a coma and he wants to date the guy's ex-girlfriend. He asks Kramer how long you have to wait before asking a coma victim's ex out. Kramer replies "Why wait, why not just call Dr. Kevorkian" (he was famous for making a suicide machine for terminally ill patients). Jerry then makes conversation by analyzing what's come up..."I don't get this suicide machine thing. There's no tall buildings where these people live? They can't wrap their lips around a revolver like a normal person?".
This is the meat of conversations, taking a subject thats been brought up and working through it. It's how you get the chance to make a girl laugh, its how you fill time, it's how you build rapport. Although technically Jerry used questions here, they're statements that add humor and matter to the conversation, and can make you look witty like Jerry if you make a joke.
So how do you do this yourself? Well, let's go back to the chick with the divorced parents. Your first theme was the time. It was a crappy theme, but it wasn't bad as an opener. However, there's not alot to analyze about the time. It's a number, and so you can move on, which you did. You asked her about the watch. This you can kick around a little.
You: Thanks. Say where'd you get that watch? It looks good.
Her: Thank you, it was a gift.
Now you can either ask questions, which you did earlier, or go ahead and add something to the conversation. Let's add something.
You: It's really pretty, I love silver. In fact I think my sister has a watch alot like that.
Now wait for her reply and before an akward silence happens, ask something to move the conversation forward...like who she got it from. She says her mom. You add in that your parents never buy you good shiit like that, and ask what the occasion was.
You see? It's not rocket science, you just move the conversation along until she feels like she knows you. This is called building rapport. After you build some rapport, she'll feel its safe to give you her number or, if you happen to be in a mall or near a coffee shop, stop for coffee or a bite to eat.
The Closer
Well, you had short, two minute conversation with a girl about her mum and her watch. Now you need to move on. You need to close.
The most common way a DJ wants to close a conversation with a new girl is a "number close". Your goal here is to get the contact info needed to have more conversations and possibly hot steamy sex. You can only get the number if you have enough rapport built up. How do you know if you've got the rapport needed? Well, is she smiling and laughing? Is she responding? Are the responses longer than three words apiece?
Even if you don't think you have the rapport, it's best to number close if you want the number. Why? Because you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, thats why. You got nothing to lose and everything to gain by asking.
You could also close without the number. You don't want to persue? Don't think she'll be worth the work of picking up a phone? Just don't feel like it? Whatever, it's your life. At that point yout just say something along the lines of...Hey I gotta go but it was nice talking to you...I'm on an errand for a friend so sorry I can't stop and talk...I'm loaded busy right now, wish I could chat...and these are things you would say to anyone. Old ladies, your dad, your best friend, the bum who heckled you into a conversation out front of the 7-11.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My 666th post. Anyways, if you feel overwhelmed, relax. I know it seems like alot to know, and no, no one actually thinks through all this stuff when they are having normal day to day conversations. But if you can't even hack a normal conversation with someone, then you'll wanna think this through. And after you do that, watch it in normal life and on TV.
And watch Seinfeld. It contains the best examples of how to make conversation out of absolutely nothing.
-Danno