My Approach Journal

I just graduated from college, and I'm still a newb at all this. Please feel free to provide constructive criticism as I make my approaches.

Yesterday, I chickened out and made no approaches. I was so pissed at myself that I finally made an approach today to get my feet wet. Hopefully, this puts me one step closer to killing my approach anxiety so I can make tons more approaches in the near future.

Approach #1
HB 7.5 wearing big sunglasses and earphones stood waiting at the corner of the street. I walked up to her, tapped her on the shoulder, and pointed my finger to my ear, signaling her to get off her damn iPod.
Me: Hi! I thought you were really cute, and I just wanted to say hi! *I sounded a tad bit nervous here when she took off her glasses. boy she was smoking*
HB7.5: Oh that's sweet! bu...
Me: What's your name? (cutting her off)
HB7.5: ---.
Me: I'm ---. Nice to meet you! *shake hands* Where you from?
HB7.5: Equador. Um...
Me: Oh cool! So you're just visiting here?
HB7.5: I'm really sorry, but I'm already married! *lifts up her hand to show her ring finger*
Me: Oh ok! *smile and walk away*
HB7.5: But thank you for the compliment!
Me: No problem!

She looked 18 yrs old for Christ's sake! What is this world coming to? So what, are babies going to start making babies within the next 50 years? smh lol *on second thought, i could be very off in guessing her age*

Approaches: 1
Ph nos: 0
BJ's: 0
Lays: 0

No biggie dude, you'll run into plenty of married girls with day game. Just keep at it

Good job for having the balls to do so.
I thought it was pretty good.
You couldn't control the outcome.
So it was not like you offended her or stuffed up.
I like how you pointed to your ear and cut her off a few times.
Do a few more and you are bound to find a single chick to see what your games made of.
Slick..

I try to avoid compliments right off the bat. I find it keeps defenses down. Your just talking about something fun.

Remind me to never recite canned pick up lines from PUA's again, especially when I'm just starting out... *smacks head* I tried out David Deangelo's advice that you should say crazy things to catch a HB's attention, such as "Hey Julie, what's up!" when you really don't the HB or her name. I should have never watched this clip...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScRaNOKFqss&feature=related

I thought this approach would be the best ever for use in the city, especially when HB's are always in a rush walking someplace. It would catch them off guard, and it wouldn't make me look as sketchy in crowded areas, since I'm pretending to know the HB.

Approach #2 *biggest fail evar*
HB6.5 is walking in the direction opposite to me. I lift my hand up as if reaching out to her and exclaim "Hey Julie what's up!" in a confident and excited voice with a big smile and wide open arms, as if she's a good friend of mines whom I haven't seen in ages. Then, HB6.5 stops to stare at me for the longest 2 seconds of my life. The look she gives me makes me feel like the most retarded and looniest chimp to ever walk the face of this earth. After 2 seconds were up, she continues on walking...

Approach #3
HB7 is walking in the opposite direction to me in the crowded streets.
Me: Excuse me! *at this point, she's already walked 3 feet away from me before she notices me in the crowd*
HB7: Oh I'm sorry yes? *she looks like she's in her late 20s! didn't see this coming*
Me: I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi! *from a distance of 3 feet. i said it kind of fast too*
HB7: Sorry! *walks away*

It can't get any worse than this right? The only direction left is up for me at this point? lol

Approaches: 3
Ph nos: 0
BJ's: 0
Lays: 0

It's been very hard lately to gather up the courage to approach after all these rejections, but I'm still trudging along. Thank you guys for all the support and encouragement. It means a lot to me.

Approach #4 (BURNED!)

HB6.5 with earphones and sunglasses is walking in the opposite direction to me. When she's within 3 feet of me, I lift my left arm up and say "excuse me!" with a smile to grab her attention. She continues on walking as if I don't exist, even though she clearly sees me trying to talk to her. Oh... it burns!! jk I know I just have to keep on approaching more HB's. The number of approaches I'm making is way too little.

Approaches: 4
Ph nos: 0
BJ's: 0
Lays: 0

Good job keep it up.

What I learn was it better to let them see you,
Then approach from behind by lightly touching the inside part of her elbow with something like this.

I didn't mean to startle you and i never do this but your really attractive and I would really regret it if I let you pass and didn't say anything.

Thank you Espi! I was seriously about to try that until you warned me. In theory, it sounded like a great idea, but what do I know? lol

Today, I missed 4 opportunities to approach due to nervousness. To make up for those 4 missed opportunities, I forced myself to approach a HB8.5 LOL! I seriously wouldn't be surprised if she was a professional model of some sort.

Approach #5
I finish walking across the street at an intersection, and I spot a HB8.5 walking towards the same intersection from my right side. I turn to my right towards her and say "Hey!" She doesn't hear me. "Excuse me!" HB8.5 stops and turns her head towards me. I say "What's your name?" with my hand out ready to shake hers and a big smile on my face, just anticipating the rejection. She stares at me, expressionless, for 3 seconds, and then continues on walking. LOL

Approaches: 5
Ph nos: 0
BJ's: 0
Lays: 0

Lol, this is great. Keep going chosenone, your approaches are funny and kinda ballsy.

Espi said:

Important: NEVER approach a woman from behind...never. :nono:

Click to expand...

Hey that's what I was told by someone who is a lot of knowledge in the game. Trust me.

whats your reasoning?

It's been awhile since I last approached. I've been busy getting my life in order outside of DJing. Otherwise, the agony of not approaching in so long has been eating away at me so much that it killed a good deal of my approach anxiety.

Approach #6
HB7 with earphones on is standing along the wall on a busy sidewalk. I strut towards her with my chin up high. I lean against the wall next to her facing her with a cheesy grin on my face. She notices me and giggles, knowing what to expect...
Me: Hi. What's your name?
HB7: What? *takes off earphones*
Me: What's your name?
HB7: --
Me: Nice to meet you. I'm --. Where are you from?
HB7: Well uh do you mean my home?
Me: Do you live around here?
HB7: Yea
Me: What part?
HB7: --
Me: Oh cool! I was born in --! Do you live near --?
HB7: --? no
Me: well it's around the -- area. do you know where that is?
HB7: yea. i live in the -- area though
Me: oh ok. do you listen to --? he's from --!
HB7: --? no unfortunately not
Me: what about --?
HB7: i loove --!
Me: yea me too *shake head in agreement and awe, while running out things to say here* i gotta get going but let me give you call sometime. what's your phone number? (said it fast and nervously)
HB7: i'm sorry what?
Me: What's your phone number? (said it much more directly, then reached into pocket for phone)
HB7: sorry i don't give out my number to strangers
Me: oh ok. have a good day! (wave goodbye and begin stepping backwards away from her as if leaving)
HB7: you too!
Me: it was nice meeting you!

man am i rusty. i'm pretty sure i could have closed if the conversation lasted longer and i didn't sound as nervous

Approach #7
HB7 walks towards me and sits in the only empty seat at a busy train station right next to me, which was reason enough for me to approach. She is texting her friend. I turn my head towards her with a cheesy smile on my face and...
Me: What's your name? (said it quite confidently)
HB7: -- (glanced at me briefly before going back to texting)
Me: Nice to meet you. i'm --. (briefly shake hands, before she goes back to texting. rest of conversation continues in this manner) Where are you from?
HB7: What do you mean?
Me: Well do you live around here?
HB7: yea -- (WAY too general of a location)
Me: What part specifically? if you don't mind me asking?
HB7: i go to -- university
Me: Oh cool! i have lots of friends who go there. do you know --?
HB7: no
Me: what about --?
HB7: there's a lot of students at --...
Me: yea i know...
CONVERSATION END
(i lean forward in my seat waiting for my train to arrive while she continues texting, probably telling her friend what a sore loser i am... lol)

Approaches: 7
Ph nos: 0
BJ's: 0
Lays: 0

Good stuff. thechosen For your approaches you have to show some kind of personality to get her attached. It is easy to go into autopilot but you have to ask yourself if the convo is taking you closer or further from your intended goal. Right now, judging from your dialogue, your goal is to find out where she lives or if she knows your friends. When you have some spare time, ask yourself what you want out of the interaction with a female: a number or a date or whatever and ask yourself what things are worthy of discussing to reach the desired goal.

But yeah, I like the approaches, especially the big cheesy smile. Smiles are so disarming and really make for a great ice breaker like when girl #6 giggled. That means you have a green light to spit your game and work towards the goal you want... I used to stare at women all the time and they would maintain eye contact but never speak. Once I started smiling, more females approached me and also it made my approaches easier as well.

Good luck and props for starting up after being rusty, getting back on the wagon is always the hardest time

dbl post

thanks for the advice macallik. much appreciated. you are right in that my conversations are pretty boring. it sounds cliche, but i'm just afraid of being myself b/c i'm afraid hb's won't accept me for who i really am. and i know this thought process makes me an effeminate p**** so

note to self: stfu voice inside my head.

Approach #8 (not even worth reading, it was that bad)
HB7 with slight frown on her face is walking towards me along the sidewalk.
Me: Excuse me! (hand slightly extending out to her with a big wide smile on my face, hoping to catch her attention and light up her day)
HB7: (stops briefly to listen to what i have to say and puts on an even bigger frown on her face as if mistrusting my intentions)
Me: I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi (sounded slightly rushed and nervous)
HB7: (continues walking past me with the same frown on her face making me feel as if i'm a homeless man asking for money)
Me: What's your name? (in a lame attempt to be persistent and aggressive, i turn around and start walking beside her with a grin on my face and my head facing her, hoping for a SIGN)
HB7: (quickens her pace with the same frown on her face)
Me: (give up and turn back around)

Approaches: 8
Ph nos: 0
BJ's: 0
Lays: 0

must...stop...over-thinking...this...approach...and...continue...with...100s...more....approaches....

HAHAHAHA!
Dude that last approach that you did happens to me all the time! Just shrug it off bro.

There was something i heard before about being in "high frequency" this applies to both men and women.
Here's an example.
You're at a party/ club with your friend and you're thinking, "Okay i have to talk to girls... etc."
Then a girl comes up to you and introduces herself, but you're caught off guard because you're in a "low frequency" aka. uncomfortable, not in the ideal mood, and you engage in an awkward conversation with her.
G: Hey, what's up?
Y: Oh, um not much
G: Well i saw you standing and just wanted to say hi
Y: Oh, alright then...
*awkward silence*

Imagine that sometimes these girls are in the "low frequency" moods, so don't take it personally when they act like that last girl did. Most likely the reason that they're so reluctant to talk is because you haven't put them in the high frequency mood yet. Make them feel comfortable, disarm them. Some girls just go from point a to point b and don't want to be bothered inbetween, but those types of girls are just anti-social -.-

Being able to easily disarm a girl is being in a high frequency mood. It's difficult to explain but she can just feel your vibe of comfortability.

keep it up dude, you'll get the hang of it.

Hey chosenone, I'm happy to read your approach journals. I'm glad to see you active once again.
I think you should approach women in more places than the street though. Try a mall, retail, or grocery store. Or, if you want sitting targets, cafes.

Good luck, I can't wait to read more.

thanks deicide. i give you lotsa props for how much progress you're making. you're way past me in terms of experience lol.

Approach #9
(another fail)

HB6 is talking on her cell phone at a busy train station. Regardless, I saddle up to her with my balls of steel and...
Me: Hi!
HB6: ... (says something in a foreign tongue into the phone)
Me: Do you speak english?
HB6: Yes I can speak english (she said it pretty well too)
Me: What's your name (grin and extend hand out)
HB6: Why are you asking for my name? (she's still holding her phone to her ear since i interrupted her conversation)
Me: ...cause!... (in a "duh!" kind of way with a grin on my face)
Hb6: .... (continues staring at me in silence, waiting for a better answer and probably thinking i'm some sort of obtrusive sales person)
Me: (I eject with a grin on my face)

Rude! i know...

Approaches: 9
Ph nos: 0
BJ's: 0
Lays: 0

thechosenone2190 said:

thanks deicide. i give you lotsa props for how much progress you're making. you're way past me in terms of experience lol.

Click to expand...

Thanks. I'm just there because I applied myself and grew as a person. Anyone can do it.
I've never opened a girl on the phone, good job. But why do you do so many street approaches for? If I was in a metro area, I'd do them too, but there are better places for Day Game.