My self-improvement program

Hi. I'm a 20-year old dude who currently studies Psychology (1st year). I live at home with my parents and i'm fine with that, as i'm doing most of the studying at home. Maybe next year i'll get my own place but who knows.

At this moment there are some things i want to change in my life, and after reading a cairtain book by Wayne Dyer i decided the best time to do it is now.


Things i'd like to change:


Sleeping
I've had a sleeping problem since i was born. My parents told me that as a baby i was awake at night and slept during the day. Nothing has changed over the last 20 years so far. I'm still awake almost every night until 5AM to wake up in the middle of the day. This causes me to walk around like a zombie; and look like one. I study at home so i can choose my own hours to work. It's time to force myself to wakeup in time, and stop sitting at my computer at night.

The only things that get me asleep in time is plenty of booze (which isn't really an option because i'm ruined the next day) or plenty of weed (which isn't also really an option because i'm even more of a zombie the next day).

Goal: Go to bed at 0.00AM at max, and get out at 8.30.


Dating
I haven't been on a date for over half a year. I go to the gym a bunch of times a week so i see enough girls around me. Plus i do errands at the mall pretty oftem. I'm not shy or uncomfortable at all when it comes to talking to girls, I just don't bother enough times to try to get into a conversation. Time to change that. For now, i set my goal at at least two conversations a day with a girl.


Weed
Been partying hard lately. Includes smoking weed a lot. Although I don't smoke cigarettes. It's just a hell of a lot of fun to get seriously mashed with a bunch of good friends. Usually i say 'no' at the start but after a while i say '**** it' and smoke anyway. It's always fun at the moment, but when i'm home i feel kinda bad about it. Time to narrow it down to less then once in two weeks, as i'm doing it over 5 times a week average at the moment. This is way too much and i know it. I noticed after a month it ruined a good portion my lungs already.


Alcohol
Every week i end up at least 2 times drunk. Not completely facked up but buzzy, but that's ok. Most college-goers have that rythm. I usually control myself when it comes to drinking at parties, but it went out of hand a couple of times lately. And when it does get out of hand with alcohol and me, i turn into an animal. I got involved in a bar fight (beat people up and got beaten up :trouble, had a €150 fine from the police because i drove into a parked car piss drunk on my bike in the middle of the night, and had terrible hangovers that lasted for over 2 days. I woke up once when i pissed myself in my sleep because i was drunk out of my mind. Goal: not getting completely ruined & destroyed by alcohol anymore. No more hangovers, fights and bullshyte like that. I'm suppost to be too old & wise for that shyte now, lets be honest.


Working out
I got a subscription to the gym. I usually go 2 times a week, but i've been way too flakey lately. New program:
Monday-weights
Wednesday-cardio
Friday-weights


College
Study at day (preferably morning), bring a rythm into it to avoid unnessecairily stressing. No more all-nighters unless utterly needed.


Well that's my list and i'll start working on it right the next day. It's 5AM now so it's time for bed. No wait, it was 5 hours ago time for bed.

Alright. I haven't smoked weed since i've posted this thread and i can feel i have more energy every day. It really does slow you down and the only way to notice it is to stop for a while. Sleeping is still problematic, but i'm still working on it. I didn't got wasted on alcohol anymore either.

Yesterday i was on a long train trip alone. I had to transfer from train to train but the one i had to get on wasn't there yet. So i waited for it while i ate a hamburger. I had those huge aviator sunglasses on, with mirrored glass. This chick walked by and looked at me, she was hot but i could tell she was kinda arrogant. After a few minutes i got on the train and went into the same car. I sat down on the seat next to her but on a different row. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Hi, i noticed you lookin at me while you walked by. I would like your opinion on these glasses. Are they cool or are they just plain wrong?
She (kinda nasty tone): I wasn't looking at you.
Me: Ok..., what if i asked your opinion now, at this moment?
She: They are..., different
Me: Diffrerent in a good or bad way?
She: ...just different.
Me: So, i'm not getting a honest opinion from you today?
She: No, i don't feel like it (while turning head and reading magazine she got with her, still on a nasty tone)

When i got off the train i said with a big smirk on my face: "well i'll see you around." And she looked at me like she wanted to murder me. lol. I thought it was funny. She was one of those "im hot and too good for any man" chicks.


Later that day in the evening, i went on the bus to the city. There is this
national party that day and everyone goes out partying and drinking. The bus was pretty much empty. There where two chicks sitting in another row in front of me. I went sitting behind them and this is how the convo went:

Me: well, are the ladies gonna celebrate 'queens night' tonight?
(they didn't notice me moving behind them so i scared them a little)
Girl 1 (laughing): Yea yea, we're on our way now
Me: are you gonna do it properly?
Girl 2: how do you mean?
Me: in the hague
both: yea, you?
Me: nah, just here in rotterdam with a bunch of mates. I asked them to go to the hague, but a lot of them didn't feel like it
Girl 2: well you guys should come with us then (laughing)
Me: haha, i will ask them

The conversation went on for a while and it was fun, but it was kinda hard because they had to turn their heads around to talk. The conversation kinda died from itself, not in an akward way. I told them to have a pleasant evening and went my own way. I realized i could actually go with them, but bailing out on my mates who where waiting for me at the subway station for 20 minutes wasn't an option.

We went clubbing that night. We went to a club that i don't like at all because of the public (lots of sluts and dudes who pick fights), so i just got drunk and had a good time with my friends. I'm not good at picking up chicks at clubs anyway.


All in all a great day.

I'm gonna pick this up again. This is where i am now:

Sleeping
Getting much better. I found nutrition pills that athletes use called "ZMA"... which have getting drowsy as a side effect. This improved my sleep a LOT. I'm now just having trouble kicking the habit i've grown into of watching TV and sitting behind the internet at night.

Dating & women
Dated a girl once since the last post... which kinda sucks. I wasn't really into her but set up a date anyway. Never went for a 2nd date. She still IM's me and stuff, so she's clearly into me. Oh well. Got a bunch of number closes but ruined it later on. I texted instead of calling etc...

Best convo i did:
Me and my friends sitting at a bar outside on holiday. I was drunk, so my friends challenged me to say the following:
me to the waitress: excuse me, but you are truly a breathtakingly beautiful girl
girl: [all blushy and smiling] thank you

Every time she came by we chatted a bit. She thought it was great. When we left she gave me her number. A stupid retard that i was, i never did anything with it till i got home. I texted her something like (i know i should had just called, goddamn me): do you remember me? I'm that drunk that suddenly started talking to you, how are you.

She texted back saying something how it's complicated and we live far away from each other. I texted back that i would call her if i'd ever came in her area. She didn't reply back, but i know i'm gonna call her when i'm there. Oh well.


Weed
Been clean for over 2 months. Smoked some last weekend for the first time since then. It was fun, but not that special really. I've grown 'over it' it seems.

Alcohol
Got drunk a couple of times, and completely ****faced maybe once. This hasn't changed.

Working out
Doing good. Getting ripped.

College
Getting better also.


I'm going to do more approaces too and post it on here. It's time to get to work again.

snowdog said:

Got a bunch of number closes but ruined it later on. I texted instead of calling etc...

Click to expand...

Yeah cause if a girl likes you THAT's going to ruin it :crazy:

NickSCFC2000 said:

Yeah cause if a girl likes you THAT's going to ruin it :crazy:

Click to expand...

hey, hello... **** you.


The last two days:
In a bar i talked a bit with the bartender chick. She was around 23 i think... lets say a 7.5. we talked about our study, she did psychology too. It was just small talk though. But i did approached her and it was a positive conversation. She smiled a lot. I didn't number close, i should have tried it, but having this nice conversation was already a little victory for me.

At the gym i had a bit of an akward conversation with the desk chick (8). She was counting the register and i tried to start a conversation but it didn't work because she was busy. Oh well...


I'm also working on eye contact and smiling while doing so. I get a lot of smiles back and sometimes they say hi first. In the cafetaria, there are tons of hot chicks sitting during lunch. I'm not quite sure how to approach them. Just go sit in front of them and start a conversation? I'm not there yet. But working on it.

Alright.

Approach 1
I was waiting for the subway and i saw a girl waiting too. She was an 8. I walked up and started a conversation about how i'm not sure on what education i should get. I told her i was currently doing psychology and was looking for something else. The convo went nicely i thought. I got on the train and talked further there. When it was my time to leave i told her i wanted to go out sometime. She rejected me, but i didn't care. At least i tried.

Approach 2
There's this girl i know for pretty much all my life. We went to elementry school together. I hadn't seen her in a while, but she was behind the bar at the gym's cafe. We started to talk about random stuff and about people we still see from the old school. Now, believe me, this girl is really pretty. "Hot" wouldn't suit her because she is more then that. She's got the perfect face, on top of the perfect body. I would honestly rate her 9.5. She's also the one of the sweetest persons i know. I used to be too shy to even look at her, but now talking to her seemed almost natural. She has that effect on guys. They talk about her when she's not around, but when she comes close, no one knows what to say. She was a bit busy so our conversation got interrupted a couple of times because she had to help some customers. Then the conversation went like this.

I waved her over
Me: Hey, i don't mean to keep you off your work even more so i'll be quick. I want to go out with you sometime, how do you feel about that?
She: Going out... meaning...
Me: Ya know, go to a bar or something. Have a drink together, have a good time.
She: Do you like me?
wow. I wasn't prepared for that.
Me: Like you? erm.. well, yea you're great and all...
She: No, do you like me? (she has a serious face now)
Me: Well, lets just say there are probably not many who don't.
She: I think it's really cool that you're asking me, really. But i'm already taken. (i know her long enough to know that she won't lie about this)
Me: Ah i see. Well i guess that's cool too you know.
She: Yea... too bad.
Me: Haha yea too bad for me i guess. Oh well.
She: But again, i think it's really cool that you asked me.
Me: Ok. Well, i guess you have more work to do. I'll see you around.
She: Alright, see you.

Ending conversations like this is always kinda akward. All in all i think i did pretty good. I think she would give her number to me if she was single.

No reactions yet? Well ok.

Yea! I approached a really cute girl today, she was behind the counter at the gym i attend to. Laura was her name. I hadn't seen her before so i just walked up to her. I hesistated a bit but then i just did it. It made me feel really good about myself. The conversation went great. It went natural and there was no akwardness. I had no problem holding eye contact. She laughed at some of my comments which is always a good sign. I was stoked about how good it went. It sucked though that she had to make a long phone call. Before she started it i just said goodbye. I didn't want to look needy to wait through the whole conversation, that would be akward. When i see her again i'll definitely go for the number close.

holy **** man!

i read your original post and i swear to ****ing god, i thought i was reading about myself! everything you said could have came out of my mouth and be true, except for literally two things: the thing about sleeping when i was a baby, and living at home (i have no idea how i slept when i was a baby, and i live in a flat with 2 room mates).

this could be like one of those movies where somehow you talk to somebody in another time. I think I am talking to myself just in another time-space dimension or some ****.

too weird...

That's funny man haha. Good luck with fixing those problems too then i guess.

Today i approached the same girl i met yesterday and started a chat again.I acutally used this line i found on the main page in the 'what if she has a boyfriend' page. It went like this, we chatted a little, it went alright i guess, not as good as yesterday but good enough. Then it became interesting:

Me: I want to take you out sometime. How about it?
Her: Oh well i have a boyfriend
Me: That doesn't matter, i'm not the jealous type of guy (big shark smile on my face)
Her: What?
Me: I didn't ask if you had a boyfriend, i just said i'm not the jealous type of guy
Her (starts to smile): Well i don't think he'd like that
Me: Oh well, let me know if you change your mind (wink)

And then i walked out the door very happy. I later realized i could had built on from there like: "But would YOU like it?", but that just didn't came to mind at the time. It's true that practice makes me better at this stuff. Another little victory for me.

I number-closed a chick at a bar yesterday, and the follow-up is quite funny (for the reader). It went like i'd never expect. Probably like no one would ever expect.

I'm gonna sleep now, but i'll write a full story about it for you guys when i have the time.

I called her the next day, and the conversation went like this:

Her: hello?
Me: Hi there, you're speaking with one of those shady guys you sometimes encounter in your bar (we joked about this the day before)
Her: haha alright. How are you
Me: I'm excellent, and you?
Her: Yea, i'm fine
Me: I want to go out with you sometime, so how about it?
Her: Ehm... i should had told you this yesterday but...
(oh no, not another ***** who has a boyfriend who gives a number to me i thought)
Her: I kinda like girls.
Me (a bit confused):Eh... that's.... interesting.
Her: Yea, i shoulda told you
Me: So you're a lesbian
Her: yes
Me: To what degree? I mean truly 100% or maybe 95, 90...?
Her: More like 200%

From that point on the conversation wasn't that interesting anymore to put down here.

For ****s sake, am i cursed or something?

And i went out this weekend. One of my buddies was throwing a party and we went into the city after that to some techno club. I hate all electronic music, so i need to get drunk. And i did. I was totally f*cked and actually enjoyed dancing to this music in this altered state. One pretty hot girl that was also at the party went with us. We talked at the house and i kino-ed her a lot, something that i was uncomfortable with a week ago. She was also touching me and putting her arm around me and stuff. Great.

In the club i asked her for dancing advice. She showed me some moves and i copied them, only in a more agressive way. She thought i was funny because of my overly enthousiasm. Then i asked how you dance together on this music. She came close to me, i put my arm around her and she starts grinding on my leg 6th grade negro style. It was great. We danced around a bit more. The friend who was throwing the party knew her for a long time, and was just a week single. At one point i both lost them and then i saw them eating each other's faces in some corner of the club. Oh well, bummer. Gimme another beer.

Later on I started a conversation with another girl that i didn't knew. She was pretty hot too. Before i could say anything, her ugly b*tch friend ****blocks me. This gets annoying after a while, especially because this girl seems into me. I mean, she smiles and talks back, that's good right? Later i just go sit down on some couch in the club. It's almost 5AM. I have hit my braking point by now, the overly amount of alcohol and the jumping around drained my batteries. I'm starting to feel ****ty and just want to shower and sleep. Then the girl from earlier on suddenly comes sitting next to me. We talk a bit and she sits against me, which is nice. I notice a tattoo on her wrist. I grab her hand and ask about it. This is also kino right? I tell her i think it's cool and we just talk a bit about it and where she got it. I try to put my arm around her while we talk but the wall behind me made it difficult to do it, and i was a bit too chicken. Although i can hide it really good how bad i feel at the moment, I have trouble listening and remembering to what she says. I really couldn't care less about that stupid f*cking tattoo of hers.

Now, the opening and talking to girls is making great progress. I just don't know yet how i turn it into a sexual conversation. I'm sure that the guy who knew his **** had hooked up, right there. But i didn't. I just kept rambling on for a bit, and eventually ended up in the "so where do you live" and "what school do you go to" area. Not good. That's always where i end up when i run out of things to say. I asked for her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I know the situation was more suited for hooking up, and that's what i should had done, or at least tried a bit more.

It was a pretty good learning moment though. I didn't knew this girl, she was genuinely pretty and i could talk to her no problem, i got around her b*tch friends, and she came to me when i didn't expect it.

Except for still being an alcoholic, i think i've improved quite a bit since i've started this journal.

Yo for your sleeping problem, have you noticed that you feel a little sleepy after you eat a good meal?

Its because your body wants to focus all your energy into digesting the food and puts you in a sleep mode.
To help me sleep I usually eat something cold, like a bowl of cereal and milk at night. Then go brush/piss, change into comfortable clothing and making sure my room is cool. Then I sleep.

Also, try to add on about 30-60 mins every night. Because your body won't be used to you just trying to sleep 5 hours earlier that usual. Make it a gradual change and your body will respond better.

Good luck man, and good job with the effort to change yourself. Very few can do that.

The best self-improvement program is one that evaluates your present beliefs and goals in your life. All the external stuff is pretty easy compared to detangling any fawked up beliefs or issues you may have inside that busy little head of yours.Because we all know..you can have the most sculpted body,a great job,money out the yin yang,the latest threads and gear..but what's the point of it all if you are just plain fawked in the head and can't even enjoy any of it??

cudos.

Thanks guys. I'll keep you updated.

Today at the bus stop i started a conversation with a pretty hot chick. It went good and when we got on the bus, i just sat down next to her and continued the conversation. Then her phone rang and we got interrupted. It was a long call and i had to get off the bus at one point so that was a bit of a bummer. Still, i feel like i'm getting better and better at this. Opening was always so hard for me.

Hmm I actually read the whole thing which I usually do all the time anyway and I got to say good job man. I mean I dont want to sound gay or nothing but I give you props for changing your life drastically (ehh except for those little hiccups lol) you showed commitment and I bet you will become a pretty good DJ when you get better if you keep it up. I would like you to keep updating becasue I love FR's ok good luck man.