I was asked by a DJ to give my thoughts on this, so I will. I know many guys don't like the idea of messing with a girl that has a BF, and I respect that, this post is for the other fellas like myself.
I do not condone stealing a girl from a guy persay. The only way I handle this is to let the girl show interest in me, then I may show interest in her. I have had this happen numerous times, and all I can put it down to is that alot of hot girls have BF's they aren't happy with. But as we know they'll keep the chump until another guy peeks their curiosity. I won't get into the moral issues of what these girls are like, for example thinking they'll leave you for another guy too. It may happen, but that can happen with any girl. Also keep in mind all the fallout that can occur, so don't do this to friends and such. I think we all know to asess things like this first.
Also I have to give alot of credit to Pook for educating us on this subject. I'll try to post a link to the threads that he wrote on this subject.
All I can say is for a long time I thought if she had a BF, I had no chance. But in the past 5 years or so, I learned otherwise. Do not overlook the fact the fact that many of these girls will want to get involved with you behind the chumps back. No strings attatched sex. This is a fact. Is it wrong to do? Probably, but has it happened to me? Yes. The girl made me the chump I just mentioned. So it's just life, I choose to seize opportunities like this, after all I am living life for me, not some chump BF.
OK, here is what I've experienced. When these girls were interested, I was showing no interest in them, posiibly ignoring them because they had a BF. I never spoke of girls I was seeing or of their BF. In fact these girls usually knew very little about me. Yes we all know they may act interested for the attention, but I don't think it's hard to determine if it's true interest. Look for the normal signs of attraction of course.
I noticed that like all girls, they will be asking about you behind your back, possibly to your friends, despite their BF. If they mention the BF to you, don't worry, doesn't mean shyt, so act unphased. When they did I'd usually ask something like, "How long have you been seeing each other" If she is interested, she is metioning him to see how you react. So don't go AFC, and look defeated when she mentions the chump. I think they mention him to clear their own conciense, so that when you are banging her she doesn't feel guilty, because she told you of the BF, yet you still banged her. See boys, it's always our fault, that is the way they see it.
Here is a link to Pook's thoughts on the type of talk to look for when she is blabbing about the BF. He is dead on. The only part I disagree with is that it has to be a one on one encounter between you. I don't know if he meant it had to, but I know it doesn't have to be just you and the girl, others may be present.
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/002629.html
Other than the normal signs of interest, I think the info Pook wrote there is VERY valuable in determining if her interest is real. If they haev flirted, and given you a chance to make a move, but you didn't, and then the BF talk starts or increases, rest assured she wants you and the chump is actually being used by her to get you, what a sucker! It's funny to watch this happen, so don't burst out laughing when they are giving you social proof through the chump, ok. It really is hilarious, the guy is totally cluless, and the girl too, if you already know she wants you.
Since wer'e on that topic, this is a way again to see if she is really interested. I've only used this once, cause it's too hard to keep from laughing, but I did pull it off this time. Here's what happened. I knew she was interested, she asked me if I was going to a bar where we all hung out regularly. Now think, she wasn't going with us, but she showed up there with the chump BF, cause she had flirted and given me chance to make a move and I didn't bite. So she is hanging al over the chump so I'll see she is desired. BTW, I ignored her hello and her most of the night. So you'll notice she'll try to get you to notice her with the chump BF. Anyway I tested her when she walked away from him to talk to a friend, leaving chump BF all alone. I didn't know him, but I bought the chump a beer and sat down to talk to him. We could not have talked more than 45 seconds before she rushed over to him, looking flustered,and whispered to him for them to leave. Now don't bust out laughing if this shyt happens to you, so prepare yourself beforehand, cause it's funny. So if she acts nervous when you and the BF are around each other, especially talikng to each other, she is really interested.
Also kino is a superb way of guaging her interest and letting her no you are interested in a subtle way. If she returns your kino, SHE WANTS YOU! I have NEVER had a girl, BF or not, that returned my kino, that wasn't truly interested. And about her flirting and givng you a chance to make a move and you don't, this will drive her crazy, you'll be more of a challenge, and she'll be dying to have you. But don't take it too far.
Oh yea, I also know that I don't talk about other girls in this situation, that's up to you. But if you have other's mention you and some girl, see how your target reacts. You'll see if it really bothers her. Of course if it does, true interest. If you are around other girls take note of how she acts, she won't like it worth a shyt, even though she has a chump BF where she is getting sex from, she, through her actions, will forbid you from being with another girl.
That is about all I can think of at the moment. If I think of anymore, I'll add them. Hope this helps a little, although most of it's elementary, but I've missed the signals before, so I know you gotta be keen.
Later--Crowes
I do not condone stealing a girl from a guy persay. The only way I handle this is to let the girl show interest in me, then I may show interest in her. I have had this happen numerous times, and all I can put it down to is that alot of hot girls have BF's they aren't happy with. But as we know they'll keep the chump until another guy peeks their curiosity. I won't get into the moral issues of what these girls are like, for example thinking they'll leave you for another guy too. It may happen, but that can happen with any girl. Also keep in mind all the fallout that can occur, so don't do this to friends and such. I think we all know to asess things like this first.
Also I have to give alot of credit to Pook for educating us on this subject. I'll try to post a link to the threads that he wrote on this subject.
All I can say is for a long time I thought if she had a BF, I had no chance. But in the past 5 years or so, I learned otherwise. Do not overlook the fact the fact that many of these girls will want to get involved with you behind the chumps back. No strings attatched sex. This is a fact. Is it wrong to do? Probably, but has it happened to me? Yes. The girl made me the chump I just mentioned. So it's just life, I choose to seize opportunities like this, after all I am living life for me, not some chump BF.
OK, here is what I've experienced. When these girls were interested, I was showing no interest in them, posiibly ignoring them because they had a BF. I never spoke of girls I was seeing or of their BF. In fact these girls usually knew very little about me. Yes we all know they may act interested for the attention, but I don't think it's hard to determine if it's true interest. Look for the normal signs of attraction of course.
I noticed that like all girls, they will be asking about you behind your back, possibly to your friends, despite their BF. If they mention the BF to you, don't worry, doesn't mean shyt, so act unphased. When they did I'd usually ask something like, "How long have you been seeing each other" If she is interested, she is metioning him to see how you react. So don't go AFC, and look defeated when she mentions the chump. I think they mention him to clear their own conciense, so that when you are banging her she doesn't feel guilty, because she told you of the BF, yet you still banged her. See boys, it's always our fault, that is the way they see it.
Here is a link to Pook's thoughts on the type of talk to look for when she is blabbing about the BF. He is dead on. The only part I disagree with is that it has to be a one on one encounter between you. I don't know if he meant it had to, but I know it doesn't have to be just you and the girl, others may be present.
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/002629.html
Other than the normal signs of interest, I think the info Pook wrote there is VERY valuable in determining if her interest is real. If they haev flirted, and given you a chance to make a move, but you didn't, and then the BF talk starts or increases, rest assured she wants you and the chump is actually being used by her to get you, what a sucker! It's funny to watch this happen, so don't burst out laughing when they are giving you social proof through the chump, ok. It really is hilarious, the guy is totally cluless, and the girl too, if you already know she wants you.
Since wer'e on that topic, this is a way again to see if she is really interested. I've only used this once, cause it's too hard to keep from laughing, but I did pull it off this time. Here's what happened. I knew she was interested, she asked me if I was going to a bar where we all hung out regularly. Now think, she wasn't going with us, but she showed up there with the chump BF, cause she had flirted and given me chance to make a move and I didn't bite. So she is hanging al over the chump so I'll see she is desired. BTW, I ignored her hello and her most of the night. So you'll notice she'll try to get you to notice her with the chump BF. Anyway I tested her when she walked away from him to talk to a friend, leaving chump BF all alone. I didn't know him, but I bought the chump a beer and sat down to talk to him. We could not have talked more than 45 seconds before she rushed over to him, looking flustered,and whispered to him for them to leave. Now don't bust out laughing if this shyt happens to you, so prepare yourself beforehand, cause it's funny. So if she acts nervous when you and the BF are around each other, especially talikng to each other, she is really interested.
Also kino is a superb way of guaging her interest and letting her no you are interested in a subtle way. If she returns your kino, SHE WANTS YOU! I have NEVER had a girl, BF or not, that returned my kino, that wasn't truly interested. And about her flirting and givng you a chance to make a move and you don't, this will drive her crazy, you'll be more of a challenge, and she'll be dying to have you. But don't take it too far.
Oh yea, I also know that I don't talk about other girls in this situation, that's up to you. But if you have other's mention you and some girl, see how your target reacts. You'll see if it really bothers her. Of course if it does, true interest. If you are around other girls take note of how she acts, she won't like it worth a shyt, even though she has a chump BF where she is getting sex from, she, through her actions, will forbid you from being with another girl.
That is about all I can think of at the moment. If I think of anymore, I'll add them. Hope this helps a little, although most of it's elementary, but I've missed the signals before, so I know you gotta be keen.
Later--Crowes
