Why do I always get f***ed over? I'm so tired of it. I could explode

Long story short i had a prom date. I liked this prom date. This prom date completely ****ed me over. Prom is on saturday. My birthday is this week too. What a great goddamned birthday present.

Anyways, as i said, I liked this girl. We got along, we texted a lot, talked on the phone a lot. We flirted. I met this girl through a friend but didn't think much of it. But like all things in my life, this was too good to be true because God doesn't know how to throw Jokerlsk a god damned bone. I took her on a date last night. A date! And today, my friend was texting her, and the best things happened! She started dating a guy that night! Like 2hrs after i went on a DATE WITH HER. Honestly, this is too much of a blow for my ego to take. I have too much self respect and pride to go anywhere with this girl.

Basically, I texted her and was like, "Is it true that you're dating someone?" and she said, "Yeah, why?" and i said, "Because i don't want to go to prom with someone who has a boyfriend. It makes me feel used. I'm a person you know? Not just a tool." and she went off and acted all offended that i would even suggest such a thing. WTF. I didn't freak out tho. No, because I'm too nice of a person. I don't know why. Why do i feel wrong? Why do my friends and everyone around me outside of my family make me feel wrong? I keep telling her i don't want to go with her, and she keeps leaving the option open. I want to go to prom, i just wish i didn't get completely ****ed by life, which happens almost on a daily basis. f

What i don't get is the fact that I'm a popular guy. Girls like me, guys like me, I'm always with friends. I'm smart, i'm funny, girls say i'm attractive. Girls like me. I could of had a prom date before this. I could of had a gf before this. It's almost like every time i genuinely like someone, I **** it up. I'm so tired of this. God damn. I really want to explode right now. I don't know what to do. I really don't. For the first time in my life, i actually feel weak and suffocated. Like i can't handle the situation.

You should of just gone to the prom, had fun and moved on.

**** happens dude. Go to the prom, have fun and forget this chick. Many more out there.

That's life dude. You think its easy for the rest of us too?

The secret is to be able to work through this crap and still come out smiling. Don't let life beat down that inner child. Hopefully some good can come out of this. When you calm down maybe you'll be able to figure out how and why this happened. It might not even be your fault. You could have done everything right and this could have happened anyways. Only blame yourself for things you are responsible for.

This girl keeps leaving the option open. Should i just go with her? I don't have any other options and i need to know...

Brother I feel for you.

For my senior prom my gf (at the time) cheated on me two weeks before it. She was my first gf - first sexual partner - first love. It hurt. Alot.

I was lucky - I had enough time. I was spinning plates (even at 17...I guess I learned early - lol) so I knew I can get another date. I wound up going with this hot sophomore that totally dug me. It was awesome! We still talk to this day...

If you cant find another date you should still go alone. There is no doubt in my mind that half of the girls that are going to the prom with dates dont really want to go with them anyway. You will dance with other girls even if they have dates. TRUST ME!

Also this gives you the opportunity to go to post prom parties with your friends...dates always seperate after that and go thier own ways.

So you have a few days. Any cuties that like you? Even if they are younger try and take one. If not - then just go.

For your birthday you will get a great gift. The git of learning that life throws you curveballs. Sometimes you hit them out of the park. Sometimes you strike out. But if you dont step up to the plate you will never know.

Im sorry for you brother. Good WILL come out of this. Life's lessons are a nasty skank.

Who cares if she has a boyfriend? I had buddies who went with eachothers' girlfriends. Single girls who went with paired-up guys. It's a glorified high school dance man.

And like tinctrar said, everyone bails afterwards and goes to seperate parties. Just have a good time dude. You're thinking too deep into this.

Yeah, you did freak out with your little text-speech. Not the best thing to have said. A touch too dramatic for the situation I would wager.

Chill, it's only a prom, and it'll only manifest as an EVEN BIGGER problem if that's what you make of it. Find a new date during the prom.

For my last high school prom, I didn't ask anyone to be my date.

Why? So I had to the liberty to dance with every girl I chose on that night.

Turned out to be a lot more fun, and didn't require any planning beforehand Just went with the flow.

Relax, this is no where near the end of the world either. You'll look back one day at one happened and smile.

Stop lingering on this sh*t. Stop developing goddamn feelings for women! That's not your job.

Prom is an acronym for pvssy received on midnight. You coulda had lots of fun had you not texted. You did it to yourself. You made it seem like you wanted to be exclusive and it shot your ass.

Judge nismo-4 feels your pain so he will only give you a warning for your crime of feelings development.

C'est La Vie. Try to see if you can get another girl. I don't know what would happen at a coed school if you don't go to prom. I went to an all boys school in New Orleans.

IMO, I'd listen to tinctrar. See if you can work this problem out. Every cloud has a silver lining, and it seem like this one does. Remember that life is what you make it.

Jokerlsk said:

This girl keeps leaving the option open. Should i just go with her? I don't have any other options and i need to know...

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What everyone else said. There's other options. Think outside the box here.

It's your life. You can do what you want. You don't have to follow the crowd.

you are not sexual enough!!! act to much like a friend and not enough of a lover

nismo-4 said:

Stop lingering on this sh*t. Stop developing goddamn feelings for women! That's not your job.

Prom is an acronym for pvssy received on midnight. You coulda had lots of fun had you not texted. You did it to yourself. You made it seem like you wanted to be exclusive and it shot your ass.

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Good post nismo. I already knew things were bad when he said

"I liked this girl. We got along, we texted a lot, talked on the phone a lot. We flirted."

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Maybe I could summarize this by saying she just "played along." When it comes to women stop thinking in terms of what YOU THINK works and is the right way but actually look at what the guys that actually pull women with no problems do.

In fact do the opposite! don't try to get along with them, don't text a lot, don't talk on the phone, don't flirt with her. Do the opposite of what you thought was right but failed you in the past. The mastery of women is the realization that you pretty much have to do the opposite of what you think is right as f***ed up as it may be because women are f***ed up where we live.

Oh I can't tell you how many times we see brothers posting about how they got along so well with the girl and talked to them for hours on the phone everyday and she ended up going after some a**hole. It's time to realize that what you thought was working fine was wrong and you should try doing the opposite.

Jokerlsk said:

Long story short i had a prom date. I liked this prom date. This prom date completely ****ed me over.

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Well first of all,let's get something straight....this girl DIDN'T f*ck you over.



YOU screwed yourself over.



This was YOUR FAULT. We told you about this 2 WEEKS AGO when you first mentioned this girl.


We asked you to give us an example of how you speak to her when you two talk to each other,and the example you gave to us was this....


http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1682399post=12


That was the example you gave and I told you STRAIGHT UP that that whole conversation was nothing but comfort,that there was NO ATTRACTION in it whatsoever.



In fact,this was my reply...http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1682406#post=14


This was all told to you LAST MONTH,check the date on those replies.





If you're standing on a railroad track and a train is coming,and you've been warned about it 2 WEEKS IN ADVANCE,it's not the train's fault,it's YOURS.



Heman was right. You weren't being sexual enough,which is what I told you 2 WEEKS AGO.


I even warned you about possibly getting friendzoned.




I hate the fact that you feel bad and all,but if you have to keep getting SLAMMED over and over again,girl after girl, until YOU "GET IT",then you just got to keep getting slammed.




We've FLAT OUT TOLD YOU...you have to be sexual with a girl for her to want to date you,but you REFUSE to listen.



Well fine then. Go get SLAMMED some more. If it's YOUR DECSION to learn the HARD WAY,then go learn the hard way. Either way,learning is learning.




If you're scared to get sexual with a girl out of fear of being rejected,then that's YOUR FAULT. We can advise you all we want,but your "fear" is something you must conquer.





What irony this is....



You hide your sexual side out of fear of being rejected,and what happens?

You get rejected anyway for NOT BEING sexual.





You're upset because she started dating someone else? Well what was she supposed to do? She gave you two weeks to create some type of attraction in her and all you did was talk about country music and accents.



You don't have to be sexual 24/7,but you do have to be sexual.



Go ahead and "explode" if you want,but after the explosion has taken place and you're ready to get back on the horse again,you'll STILL HAVE TO get sexual with a girl to make her "SEXUALLY" interested in you.




It's just that simple.

Jokerlsk said:

But like all things in my life, this was too good to be true because God doesn't know how to throw Jokerlsk a god damned bone.

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Sorry buddy, but God DID throw you a bone... and it was in the form of Igetit!.
And guess what... YOU didn't GET IT.

You were warned.
You had been told what to do.

You obviously, didn't do it.

What i don't get is the fact that I'm a popular guy. Girls like me, guys like me, I'm always with friends. I'm smart, i'm funny, girls say i'm attractive. Girls like me. I could of had a prom date before this. I could of had a gf before this. It's almost like every time i genuinely like someone, I **** it up. I'm so tired of this. God damn. I really want to explode right now. I don't know what to do. I really don't. For the first time in my life, i actually feel weak and suffocated. Like i can't handle the situation.

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Stop bringing God into this, first of all.

Second, I know what you should do... that DJ Bible, READ IT.

Third, wow.
You feel like this just over some girl from prom?
You do realize you'll meet many more women over the span of your lifetime, right? Just chill. You live and you learn, and DO NOT let this happen again.

I can't promise that I can hold Igetit! from bashing you sideways up the head next time. Because GOD knows, I'll probably be the one doing all the slapping around.

Get your head back in the game and stop acting like some emo on MySpace.

It's not the end of the world.

Kailex said:

Sorry buddy, but God DID throw you a bone... and it was in the form of Igetit!.
And guess what... YOU didn't GET IT.

You were warned.
You had been told what to do.

You obviously, didn't do it.



Stop bringing God into this, first of all.

Second, I know what you should do... that DJ Bible, READ IT.

Third, wow.
You feel like this just over some girl from prom?
You do realize you'll meet many more women over the span of your lifetime, right? Just chill. You live and you learn, and DO NOT let this happen again.

I can't promise that I can hold Igetit! from bashing you sideways up the head next time. Because GOD knows, I'll probably be the one doing all the slapping around.

Get your head back in the game and stop acting like some emo on MySpace.

It's not the end of the world.

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Kailex, it's funny that me and pastor Igetit! told the OP what was going on in a couple other of his started threads.

BTW OP, I stay right on the line of Stone Mountain and Lithonia, do I have to come out there to Athens and slap some sense into you? But for real though, you set yourself up for the explosion. You should've been sexual or at least physical from jump street.

Let this be a lesson to you. That's a God for you.

If you learned the hard way, prove it! But dammit, stop being scared of your sexual nature. It won't do you any good. And you need to stop lingering over this one girl. You caused the problem. You know what you did. Now dust yourself off and try again. With different girls that is.

And didn't I suggest asking women who go to UGA?

Read the dj bible? Really, because i've read that literally ten times, and nothing in it seems very significant to the situation i'm in. I'm not some socially inept loser who can't talk to girls. I have a lot of social status. I'm a really well liked guy. A really SOCIAL well liked guy. If you compare me to all of my friends tho, you'll see a significant difference. I HONEST TO GOD don't look for or care for sex right now. It's not important to me. I'd rather have a relationship with someone. All my friends **** and forget about the person. I can't do that because i care about other people. I'm not okay with that. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if i just used them for sex. So while all of you continually bash me for my failures, I sit here and reflect. And yeah, yall are right about a lot of things. I just wish you would respect me in the process. You act like I'm some joke. I'm not. I have a moral compass that I actually want to use. I don't want to wake up one day and not recognize myself anymore. I like who i am because i know I'm a good, well liked person. My feelings for other people are genuine. Yeah, I think a lot of girls are hot, but I actually care about the feelings of the girls I pursue. That's probably afc of me. I'll even say so myself, because they don't give a damn about me. But even so, i can't make myself do something that I regret. I can't do something bold. I try to do things the right way. You know, I'm only in highschool, and I still have another year left. Having a girl in my life isn't the most important thing right now. I have enough of friends that are girls anyways.

So call me an afc, call me stupid, tell me i deserve it. That's just life. I blew up and broke down last night. I went on a rant because the stress the situation put on me. I know I'll persevere and things will work out for me. But last night was one of the first times in my life where I actually felt like I didn't want to get up. And like a poster said, "That's life." It's probably so much harder for some of you other guys. I have it good. I have a good family and good friends and good faith. I was vulnerable, and I let it show. I just had to let it out. I apologize.

Jokerlsk said:

I HONEST TO GOD don't look for or care for sex right now. It's not important to me.

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Maybe your gay, maybe that's why your having trouble with women.

Lmao, just kidding.

But calm the f*ck down kid, it's only a girl.

I swear a lot of you boys are way too emotional!

That right there is a trait that will get you NO WHERE with women. If women want outpouring of emotions from their partner - they'll become a d@mned lesbian and leave men alone.

Your whole "i don't want to go to prom with someone with a boyfriend" rant is a lie! The problem isn't that you don't want to go to a prom with a girl who has a boyfriend; the problem is YOU wanted to be her boyfriend and are hurt.

Your friends are playing it right and you should follow their lead and quit being a woman! Lift some heavy weights, do a contact sport, get some d@mn "i don't give a fvck" in your system!

Little story: I was A LOT like you when i was growing up. I hung out with guys who were always getting women, and fvcking them and dumping them. And I had $ex with ONLY 2 women before i was 22 (a lot after that). They made fun of me a lot (not sure if they do that to you.) And i'd always shoot back with, "i don't have sex with tons of women because that's not what i want."

But deep down, it was what i wanted. I just was scared to do it. I didn't believe in myself. I knew i wasn't an ugly guy; i had tons of girls who got crushes on me - but then they'd quickly end up with one of my friends or some other "thug" type guy or something...

Why? because i had no balls... I tried to "love and marriage" these girls... THEY WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL! THEY WANT ACTION! They want excitement.... Someone who makes their blood pump...

Being a guy with no balls IS NOT exciting...
Being a guy who isn't sexual IS NOT exciting...
Being a guy who doesn't take charge and grab her and kiss her IS NOT exciting...
Being a guy who is timid IS NOT exciting...

I was you dude! And i only wish i could go back and slap the high school me in the mouth a few times for being so dumb...

I've talked to you a few times about this...

Bottom line is that when it comes to women - you're SOFT.

And until you harden up and quit with this "i want to respect women" sh!t - NO ONE HERE CAN HELP YOU!

Igetit, absolutely BRILLIANT post! *Adds to rep*

Jokerlsk said:

...because I'm too nice of a person.

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You just answered your own question of "Why do I always get f***ed over?"

You're what, NICE? A Nice Guy? Isn't that something that is COMPLETELY contradictory to DJ principles? If you've read the DJ Bible 10 times, you should have read Pooks "Be a Man!" article. Read it again and FOCUS on every sentence! Do evaluate it, and come to the realisation that it is so relevant to your situation! Kinda funny how you subconsciously used the word NICE to describe yourself!

After reading it, I now think of "nice" as an insult! It's what people use to describe someone when they don't really have anything positive to say and so use a vague generic and insincere compliment. How are you "nice"? Do you mean kind/considerate/empathetic? Well then say that lol!

I agree with other members when they say you shouldn't have sent that text which stinks of needy emotion. Pook states that YOU are the prince charming, you're desirable to girls, they come to you, you don't supplicate and lose it in front of them.

But we can't change the past, what's done is done.

Here's my suggestion. Find another date to the prom if you can.
If you can't find another date to the prom, and if she still approaches you to go with her (don't apologise, just act like nothing happened), then use her as social proof to hook up with another girl at the prom! I did this in both my junior and senior proms, it works.

Move on with positivity, and look back on this as a learning experience!

Let me put it this way. A couple of my friends who are really good with girls told me that they would have basically cussed this girl out. I didn't do that because i actually considered her feelings. Sure, i wanted to, but I told her what I posted instead. i could have been an ******* and i wanted to be that way, but I thought I rose above that.

The difference between the "old" you and me, bukowski, is that I do believe in myself and I honestly don't want to do what my friends do. I respect how you live your life. I just don't see the similarities that you see.