if she insists on choosing the place to go should i let her?

this milf off facebook gave me her number immediately without asking for it, i suggested we go for a drink but didn't actually ask for the number so shows good IL, and she 'liked' my profile pic. i suggested we get together for a drink tomorrow or wednesday night by text at a place relatively near her.. it's hard for me to tell if she's DTF or just trying to choose a nice place to go near her ..i.e. fussy.

me: i think we should get together a drink tomorrow or weds night. im having dinner with friends at 6 both nights so how's around 8pm in (x place that's relaticely near her)?
her: ok we can do that or you can come near me, i will find a place it's beter for me so we can talk more x
me: i know a few quiet places in yoru area that are good, y in x place does excellent drinks but let's go for a drink at z place in z street (place near her) instead, that's closer to you.
i'll meet you in z street tomorrow. see you then.
her: ok

see i dont know if that's a come on that she wants to be nearer home so we can have sex after.. because i haven't met her before i can't gauge if she's DTF otherwise i would have suggested to bring a bottle of wine over to hers. because im in a rich area (but not rich) the women here are very sneaky trying to control the frame choose a place to go that's expensive and get you to succumb.. i want to be leading saying where to go but i get a sense she's going to want to choose.. should i risk it and let her? she's replied 'ok' but because she didn't put a 'x' at the end of her msg i sense she's going to change the terms or where to go tomorrow.. so i need to be prepared to find back up places in her area. i should lead not be lead.

Is your goal to get laid or pick fights with women? Every post on here is always argumentative and how "you don't like this or that".

I've had a woman I asked out before that didn't like the place I suggested and said we should meet at a different place. I said that's cool, meet me there at xx pm.

Met her there had a great time and banged her on the second date. If I got all worried about "needing to lead" I would have likely screwed myself out of it.

That's where you are right now. Your mindset is completely jacked up. You are worrying abount meaningless details and how she "perceives" you before meeting you. I got news for you, it won't matter how many DJ tricks you do prior to meeting if you don't get the date you aren't getting laid...always keep that in mind.

You should lead as a man, but you need to understand what constitutes leading and what doesn't. You are way too worried about details and not the overall picture

I agree that women usually would say let's meet between us or something like that, rather than "close to my place" especially when said so directly.

I think you have a decent shot of banging her if you play it right. You need to sexualise the conversation, check about the logistics mid date (who does she live with) and see if she's on for a couple of rounds of drinks.

Should you let her choose the place if she wants to? Simple. Do YOU want to go there? If you don't want to or if you don't like that place, then no. But if you actually don't mind and would enjoy it then I don't see why not.

well it's a non issue now or maybe it is.. she's flaked twice with lame excuses. and i dont know if her interest dwindled because i was coming across too available or because she didn't like where we're going and wanted to choose the place.

yesterday at lunch

me: meet me outside the town hall at 8 tonight, the place we're going is 1 min walk from there. see you later.
her: look i will let you know later because my best friend she is here and she lives tomorrow so i think is better tomorrow if is good for you too x

(bs excuse, i sensed this is where all the flaking starts and interest dwindles and HOW i respond shows my availability and eagerness)

me: ok sure, same time tomorrow.

(i regeretted sending that i should have kept it simpler with just ok)

her: ok xxx

today lunch:

me: i'll meet you at the same place i said yesterday outside the town hall at 8. see you tonight.

an hour later (she usually replies straight away that's how i knew she prob might flake)

her: sorry i cant make it im very stress today i had nightmare if i feeling better i will let you know xxxx

what a lame excuse.. wtf.. i haven't replied and i'm not going to.

i knew on monday when the interest was high i should have just struck while the iron was hot and met that night.. she prob was horny or whatever.. i sense maybe she's met a guy since then hence her diminished interest.. either way i shouldn't speculate. im just annoyed i didn't try to meet that night as i was 'trying' not to look too available and it backfired.. originally i said i'd meet her on sunday as i'd be in her part of town then, then i flipped it to tues/weds night.

if she tells me she can make it i think i'll say i cant just to teach her a lesson as it'll make me look even more available. is that smart or risky?

She texts me this now:
I'm so sorry but I will expand to you when we meet up , I don't want to be tired the first day , I want to be nice the first meet

Im not replying till later and then 'ok' is that wise?

pete101 said:

She texts me this now:
I'm so sorry but I will expand to you when we meet up , I don't want to be tired the first day , I want to be nice the first meet

Im not replying till later and then 'ok' is that wise?

Click to expand...

It would be wiser not to text her anything.

Stop talking to her like a needy b1tch.

pete101 said:

this milf off facebook gave me her number immediately without asking for it, i suggested we go for a drink but didn't actually ask for the number so shows good IL, and she 'liked' my profile pic. i suggested we get together for a drink tomorrow or wednesday night by text at a place relatively near her.. it's hard for me to tell if she's DTF or just trying to choose a nice place to go near her ..i.e. fussy.

me: i think we should get together a drink tomorrow or weds night. im having dinner with friends at 6 both nights so how's around 8pm in (x place that's relaticely near her)?
her: ok we can do that or you can come near me, i will find a place it's beter for me so we can talk more x
me: i know a few quiet places in yoru area that are good, y in x place does excellent drinks but let's go for a drink at z place in z street (place near her) instead, that's closer to you.
i'll meet you in z street tomorrow. see you then.
her: ok

see i dont know if that's a come on that she wants to be nearer home so we can have sex after.. because i haven't met her before i can't gauge if she's DTF otherwise i would have suggested to bring a bottle of wine over to hers. because im in a rich area (but not rich) the women here are very sneaky trying to control the frame choose a place to go that's expensive and get you to succumb.. i want to be leading saying where to go but i get a sense she's going to want to choose.. should i risk it and let her? she's replied 'ok' but because she didn't put a 'x' at the end of her msg i sense she's going to change the terms or where to go tomorrow.. so i need to be prepared to find back up places in her area. i should lead not be lead.

Click to expand...

if she insists on the where to go the first time, dont let her, its either your plan or do not go unless sex is gauranteed . tell her that you will go to her desired place another time and go to your X instead. Read the Anti Dump guide and u will get a good idea.


e.g

You : LEts meet up for pool
Her: nah i wanna eat at X restaurant
you : no , how about minigolf?
her: ...


etc, basically change the place second and third time, if she still persists third time, then u might as well just go anyway haha why not : ik its contradicting what i js said but oh well a date is a date!!

marmel75 said:

You are worrying abount meaningless details and how she "perceives" you [...] if you don't get the date you aren't getting laid...always keep that in mind.

Click to expand...

Dammit marmel I wish I had that advice in my thread before cancelling a date based on POSSIBLE flake advice. Always go for the lay.


@OP: let her, a women should feel free. Ive let girls choose if they know a place and its only lead to new experiences I would have missed out on. The battle is in your head and no where else...

DragonBlood said:

Dammit marmel I wish I had that advice in my thread before cancelling a date based on POSSIBLE flake advice. Always go for the lay.

Click to expand...

I have no idea why you would have done that...makes no sense...

Its like you are trying to play the "I'm going one up her" game...

Oh...you think you are going to flake on me???

Well, watch this!! I'm going to flake on you first!!

pete101 said:

she's flaked twice with lame excuses. and i dont know if her interest dwindled because i was coming across too available or because she didn't like where we're going and wanted to choose the place.

Click to expand...

Lame excuses go into the trash bin. Don't waste your time being so needy on a flake.

The rule of thumb in dating is a woman who is willing to put herself out will put out later on.

When you see a woman trying to make it easier for herself on a date that means her interest isn't very high.

She doesn't want to make the extra effort to come see you.

If she isn't going to make the effort to come see you that means she isn't going to have sex with you.

Interested girls will make every effort possible to come see you at the location you state.

I wouldn't have said you were having dinner with friends on those nights at 6. Who cares about that.

Dating is very simple.

Set your time and loctaion. It's up to her to comply to what you set.

If she makes any excuses or wants to change the location to make it easier for her. You know she isn't that interested.

That means you find another girl and lose her.

pete101 said:

her: ok we can do that or you can come near me, i will find a place it's beter for me so we can talk more x

Click to expand...

Everything here is for her to make it better for herself.

If she was truly intersted to meet up she wouldn't care how far the distance is.

Women who have lower interest don't want to put themselves out. They want to make it closer so it is easy for them to get home.



You got 2 lame flake excuses and saw she doesn't want to put herself out.

Don't bother with this broad!

Soolaimon said:

Lame excuses go into the trash bin. Don't waste your time being so needy on a flake.

The rule of thumb in dating is a woman who is willing to put herself out will put out later on.

When you see a woman trying to make it easier for herself on a date that means her interest isn't very high.

She doesn't want to make the extra effort to come see you.

If she isn't going to make the effort to come see you that means she isn't going to have sex with you.

Interested girls will make every effort possible to come see you at the location you state.

I wouldn't have said you were having dinner with friends on those nights at 6. Who cares about that.

Dating is very simple.

Set your time and loctaion. It's up to her to comply to what you set.

If she makes any excuses or wants to change the location to make it easier for her. You know she isn't that interested.

That means you find another girl and lose her.



Everything here is for her to make it better for herself.

If she was truly intersted to meet up she wouldn't care how far the distance is.

Women who have lower interest don't want to put themselves out. They want to make it closer so it is easy for them to get home.



You got 2 lame flake excuses and saw she doesn't want to put herself out.

Don't bother with this broad!

Click to expand...

this is exactly what i tried to mention earlier.. the 'come near me' is a lazy thing not a 'come to my place to fvck' because english isn't her first language.

i already met her tonight before seeing this comment.

In my experience if a woman suggests a place it generally means she wants to feel comfortable around someone new.

I never look deeper into it than that, I would have agreed so she feels "safe" then escalated