He needs your help! 5 year ONEITIS!

ok. I know a guy, he's 23, who is in love with his oneitis, also 23. The two met in junior high school when they were 14, and graduated and lost all contact.

they met again 4 years later in 2009.

now, the problem? THE STORY IS FCUKED UP! Love, games, confusion, so much push and pull, the whole "waiting for each other to initiate first".

the bigger problem? HE IS A ****ING 9.5. to 9.8 in terms of everything! He's 23, extremely attractive, dresses so classy, mature, amazing social skills, going for 2 bachelors degrees, many many friends, GIRLS ALWAYS CHASING HIM, can get sex easily, has great goals and ambitions, great jobs etc. Great life skills. One of those rare guys you know?

unfortunately, his oneitis is TEARING HIM APART. he is LOSING IT. he has stopped interacting with other girls he ignores them. He ignores girls chasing him. he is starting to break down.

His LOVE is ALSO a 9.5 to 9.8, she's good looking, full time job and full time student, mature, responsible. (miracle? faith? made for each other?)

He knows about this website and I told him to write his situation here and you would help him, but he thinks you guys wouldn't want to hear such a story about such a strong love case. THE TWO DONT EVEN TALK.

can I tell him you guys are willing to help him out? He is a great personality guys, I don't want him to crumble.

remember, advice like he needs to man up etc wont work, because he already IS A MAN. he can easily hit up a 8.5. tonight and have sex etc, he has girls chasing him and he just ignores them like a boss.

IT"S THIS ONE GIRL who is tearing him apart. He cant see anyone else but her. And it's been going on since 2009 but now it's just heart breaking and shocking.


the GIRL is also depressed. We have ways to keep tabs on her, and holy FCUK she has been depressed, sad songs and statuses and shhitt.

Ignore her, do stuff with your friends, talk to people (about anything but her), and hit up chicks.

It's simple. Trying to complicate your situation is going to cause you to spend a lot of time thinking about it, and getting emotionally attached.

So what you need to do or this "guy", is to start the process of emotionally detaching from her, and well I listed ways that are a start in the first paragraph.

Yeah he cant ignore her. He'll post his story on the forums tonight.

I tell him to either talk to her or stop, because he is hurting himself and hef in the process ppssibly, for no reason.

Shes good looking and whatnot, but he is doing way too much for her.

why are you so heavily involved in it all ?

must be one hell of an emotional drain on you

He's my brother till death does us apart

he is the one who brought me to where I am today. The least I can do is get him help for his problems whether myself or from you guys aid

I can tell you what the issue is. Because of their history, he doesn't feel he needs to throw game into the mix.

He's from the stance of "if it was meant to be." I'm guessing whenever he deals with her he acts like a love sick puppy.

No girl can respect that, no matter how much it was "meant to be".

Send him over.

Peaks&Valleys said:

I can tell you what the issue is. Because of their history, he doesn't feel he needs to throw game into the mix.

He's from the stance of "if it was meant to be." I'm guessing whenever he deals with her he acts like a love sick puppy.

No girl can respect that, no matter how much it was "meant to be".

Send him over.

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You're right, he does act like a love sick lover; he's obsessed with her, I mean he doesn't even pay attention to other girls now, as if he is already married to his love.

I just told him to sign up for this site. he is coming over anyways; he's gonna be called "5yearsOneitis" (if it'll be available im sure)

Remember, the problem is that he can sex up almost any girl he talks to anytime, but he is heads over heels for this "particular one".

thank you

Tell your friend he needs to man up. You may respect this guy a lot, but right now he's not thinking straight. He wants this girl more than anything else, a feeling I and many others here have felt before, but he's too scared of losing her to make a move. The problem with this is, you can't lose something you never had. She's not his until he makes her his. If he wants her so damn badly, he needs to make a move. He needs to kiss her. Once he manages that, I don't think he'll need to address "What are we". It should be extremely clear at that point.

Most of all, I think your friend needs to accept the fact that however unlikely it may seem, there's always a chance she rejects him.

Eph said:

Tell your friend he needs to man up. You may respect this guy a lot, but right now he's not thinking straight. He wants this girl more than anything else, a feeling I and many others here have felt before, but he's too scared of losing her to make a move. The problem with this is, you can't lose something you never had. She's not his until he makes her his. If he wants her so damn badly, he needs to make a move. He needs to kiss her. Once he manages that, I don't think he'll need to address "What are we". It should be extremely clear at that point.

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I agree with everything you've said there.

I tell him over and over he needs to talk to her; that he, a PUA himself, such an alpha man suddenly becomes an AFC with her. I love him to death, but I cant see him like this. Once I said I'll talk for him, he gave me such a stare that I had to look down.

HE NEEDS TO MAKE A MOVE. And I think he said he is going to soon. But everytime he was going to before, he locked up and would just walk by and the two would just look at each other.

His biggest problem is that he says the two have seen each other so many times and never talked, that it would be awkward to talk.

It blows my mind. This guy is an alpha in my eyes with 99% of the girls, and instantly becomes soft when you throw in the 1% that is "his love". I don't even know wtf to say