Do men exalt the morals of monogamy because they can't get a harem?

Stagger Lee said:

Most guys would rather have a relationship with one faithful, loving, easy to get along with HB9+. They can't get that or find that so they rationalize what they can get, having one night stands with HB1-5's who aren't suitable for a relationship is what they really want :yes: .

But seriously it cuts both ways, people tend to make their necessity a virtue. Let's be honest here. Sowing wild oats or being promiscuous is a valid natural drive as is monogamy. And people have all kinds of drives but that doesn't necessarily make it moral or one superior to the other.

Realistically, and that's all that matters, playing the field is not very rewarding for most guys. My rule of thumb is the fact that most women today aren't any good for having a relationship with also makes them not any good for even a ONS. They're entitled pain in the a$$ no matter the situation.

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this is pretty much how I feel.

I mean it's one of those things I did and i had tog et it out my system. I can honestly say that today I mean, if i were single i'd spin plates just beucase that's the right way to to date and qualify women, but i would honestly dred doing it. the way i see it, that's time i'm taking away from doing other things. i have going on.

at this moment i run my web development company, i bet horses and the way i wager takes between 40 and 60 hours a week depending on the time of the year . i swim / go to the gym everyday at least 6 days a week, work out for 45 mins hit the pool for laps for 30-45 mins. I'm also in the process of (finally) starting to develop the website that will end up being my signature accomplishment in life, and considering what i'v edone so far, that's saying alot. There is an aspect of the website that requires me to do an ungodly amount of research collecting data from various sources and this is going to take when it's all said and done about 500-600 hours. just to collect the information i need. and the idea is too unique/good for me to farm it out and risk someone else stealing it. to do this the way i want it done this is going to take every bit of at least a year if not closer to a year and a half. I've also come up with another idea for a site that is just too good to not implement, there is literally nothing else like it online. So i'm doing that as well.

I have a few ideas that I would like to pursue but honestly right now i don't have the capital to pull off what I want to pull off, but if this above takes off I will. I will be an entrepreneur until the day they put me into the ground. this is what i do. it really isn't about the money, i like coming up with **** and bringing it to life. this is how i get thrills. i don't have to run my web development company what i make from the track is more then enough to life comfortably, i do this for ****s and giggles. i do it beucase i honestly enjoy the work

I play the piano and like to practice a few hours a week. I am a huge college football fan so my work week is really 6 days beucase nothing gets done on Saturdays. I try to read a chapter of something everyday.
I'm not a video game junkie but i like a good game. Reisdent Evil 6 came out a few weeks ago I'm playing that now.

and on top of all that, I have a 4 and a half year old son who i make sure i spend time with him regardless of how inconvenient it is for me to do so and he's about to sign up for tee ball in the spring and i've not only been working with him on that/learning how to hit off a tee and teaching him how to catch/throw, i'm going to probably end up coaching his team or at leats be an assistant coach. and on top of THAT i am in the big brothers big sisters program and the kid that is my little brother might as well be my son he's over here 2-3 nights a week. fvck he has his own bed and toys lol.

I don't say all that to say hey look at me i'm hot ****.. this **** above.. this is what gets me going. i love to push myself to the max. that is what gets me up in the morning, to set virtually impossible goals, and hit them.

so no, there is no me fooling myself about what i really want.. what i really want is the above. all of it. note iu didn't mention a woman anywhere. AT the end of the day this is why I am married; the desire to chase new tail just isn't there for me. I like the convenience of our good marriage. if i were single, i would be doing exactly the same **** i' doing now. for me to be single would mean i would have to make time to be sign and spin plates, i don't want to do that it would take me away from the above sutff which i enjoy more than ****ing new women.

if i were single i seriously do not know if i would date at least for the next few years. i have a lot of **** i want tog et done and i'm not getting any younger. plus i know i can put my black book on teh shelf and in 2-3 years my value will n ot only not drop it will be higher than it is now.

dating new women, spinning plates.. it's just not how i tick. i mean, if i had to date, i would dot his, but i strongly prefer not to.

muscleman said:

If you offered a guy one woman or multiple, no questions asked, he would default to multiple at all times.

It's just like if you offered a guy a 50k job or a 100k job, same hours, same effort. Of course he'd take the higher paying job.

The disconnect happens, as you say, when men can't or choose not to expend the effort to build a harem, so they rationalize it away. Very typical.

Law #36 - Disdain the things you cannot have.

I'll take a quick stab at backbreaker - I remember when he was 'out and about', then got hitched and now of course his entire viewpoint has changed. This is only natural, to justify you own situation based on your circumstances.

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my viewpoint never changed. the problem is that you are looking thruogh a different glass as I am.


In other words, you see spinning plates and being married as 2 totally different choices meaning that spinning plates is one life style you can live and getting married and having a family is another.

I see them as part of the exact same process, meaning, spinning plates is what you do until you find a plate that is strong enough to where you don't want to spin any other plates so you stop spinning unnecessary plates.

I followed the steps of someone who has dated a lot of women and ran into a girl that was the perfect plate for my life and i acted accordingly. if something were to happen to us and i became single i woudl go back to spinning plates, and i would not be shifting my mindset, I'm must starting back at step 1 of the same process that i am now on step 10 with.

to be frank I don't understand why this topic gets as much ink as it does, to me it's common sense. everyone here who dates and spins plates, would do exactly what i did if they found the plate that was just that much better than all their other plates. There is not a guy here that would spin 3 plates if they were convinced one of the three were a legit 9.5 all around package and the others are 5's and 6's.


I have/had a crush on Maria Bartoromo. she's a cutie. and she has that whole professional woman thing about her and she also has a very nice rack under those conservative clothes. So when i learned about hte sex scandal that she was involved in i took notice. she's flying around in jets sucking off some CEO's **** joining the mile high club.

what does her husband do? file a divorce out of this blatant show of disrespect? demand she get her **** in order in the very least? no he goes out and buys her a 6.5 million dollar townhouse lol.

to me, at the end of the day, that's what all this **** is about. her husband is no slouch himself.. he's a good looking dude and he's loaded. like really loaded. and yet, this is a guy who is convinced himself that he has ****ed up and has to make it up by showing how much he loves her by opening the checkbook. and **** it's not like she is broke she banks a million plus a year.

now beucase she is a very public figure who deals with very public people, she makes up with him but guys like that dont' get tht for her, ti's not about the money. the guys **** she is sucking has 10x more money than you have so it's not about money, i don't ever want to find myself or anyone else in a position where they feel they have to open their checkbook to show how much they love a woman. i don't ever want to be in a position where i feel i am stuck with a cheating *** dumbster beucase this is ht best i can do and i don't have the guts to play the field.

at the end of the day that's all this site is about.. empowering men by showing them their true value and learning who to spot / deal with ****ty behavior with women.

I don't feel this site or this entire genre is one that should be telling people the correct way to live life. that's up for the person to decide. If you want to be wilt Chamberlain this site will give you the tools to do that. if you want to be Joe entrapuener with this hot wife who loves him and blows him every other night this site will teach you how to do that too. But when we start telling people this is right or this is wrong, i think you are putting the cart before the horse. that's no one's place to tell another man how he shoudl live his life.

backbreaker said:

at this moment i run my web development company, i bet horses and the way i wager takes between 40 and 60 hours a week depending on the time of the year . i swim / go to the gym everyday at least 6 days a week, work out for 45 mins hit the pool for laps for 30-45 mins. I'm also in the process of (finally) starting to develop the website that will end up being my signature accomplishment in life, and considering what i'v edone so far, that's saying alot. There is an aspect of the website that requires me to do an ungodly amount of research collecting data from various sources and this is going to take when it's all said and done about 500-600 hours. just to collect the information i need. and the idea is too unique/good for me to farm it out and risk someone else stealing it. to do this the way i want it done this is going to take every bit of at least a year if not closer to a year and a half. I've also come up with another idea for a site that is just too good to not implement, there is literally nothing else like it online. So i'm doing that as well.

I have a few ideas that I would like to pursue but honestly right now i don't have the capital to pull off what I want to pull off, but if this above takes off I will. I will be an entrepreneur until the day they put me into the ground. this is what i do. it really isn't about the money, i like coming up with **** and bringing it to life. this is how i get thrills. i don't have to run my web development company what i make from the track is more then enough to life comfortably, i do this for ****s and giggles. i do it beucase i honestly enjoy the work

I play the piano and like to practice a few hours a week. I am a huge college football fan so my work week is really 6 days beucase nothing gets done on Saturdays. I try to read a chapter of something everyday.
I'm not a video game junkie but i like a good game. Reisdent Evil 6 came out a few weeks ago I'm playing that now.

and on top of all that, I have a 4 and a half year old son who i make sure i spend time with him regardless of how inconvenient it is for me to do so and he's about to sign up for tee ball in the spring and i've not only been working with him on that/learning how to hit off a tee and teaching him how to catch/throw, i'm going to probably end up coaching his team or at leats be an assistant coach. and on top of THAT i am in the big brothers big sisters program and the kid that is my little brother might as well be my son he's over here 2-3 nights a week. fvck he has his own bed and toys lol.

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531 words, and 2559 characters of irrevelant sh!t, that has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter we are debating at the moment.

Thank you for making this another "I am so awesome" post. It amazes me how you can sneak that stuff in on the most impersonal thread ever, and making it all about you. No wonder the discussion is dead, your personal sh!t clogs it so much that nobody finds a way how to reply.

Welcome back.

Samspade said:

And yes I did "choose" to get married. No one held a gun to my head and I understood all the ramifications.

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Certainly no one who reads this forum at least should ever say anything like this: "You mean I didn't have to get married, and I can be spinning plates instead? D'oh!"

One of the things that immediately bothered me about the PUA community was how condescending it was. Like BB said, if you didn't agree with their agenda and philosophy top to bottom, you were a brainwashed AFC. And anybody who was monogamous or married was a chump, straight up. Waaaay too judgemental, and too much black and white thinking.

For Heartiste to imply that you are only married or monogamous because you can't get a harem is ridiculous, and insulting.

backbreaker said:

I followed the steps of someone who has dated a lot of women and ran into a girl that was the perfect plate for my life and i acted accordingly. if something were to happen to us and i became single i woudl go back to spinning plates, and i would not be shifting my mindset, I'm must starting back at step 1 of the same process that i am now on step 10 with.

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Right, finding a good quality woman is a natural result of spinning plates, and you're just farther along the same process. Some guys will always just want to pump and dump, but when some of this anti-monogamy guys meet up with the right woman who pushes all their buttons, I wonder what they will do. Of course in the fairly land world of the PUA community, there is no such thing as love, there is only "oneitis".

Boilermaker said:

Thank you for making this another "I am so awesome" post. It amazes me how you can sneak that stuff in on the most impersonal thread ever, and making it all about you. No wonder the discussion is dead, your personal sh!t clogs it so much that nobody finds a way how to reply.

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Look, Boiler, we all know Backbreaker likes to blow his own horn and I know you two have a feud going, but I think in this case you're being a little unfair. Backbreaker's point was that he has a number of passions in his life that take priority over chasing tail in his life, which is quite on topic IMO. Besides, the things that makes BB's posts interesting (and for me, motivating) are all the personal examples from his life that he includes.

muscleman said:

If you offered a guy one woman or multiple, no questions asked, he would default to multiple at all times.

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I am always reluctant to use phrases like "ALL men will..." or "will ALWAYS" or "at ALL times". But that aside, if you are only thinking about sex, and in a theoretically perfect world, you're probably not too far wrong. The problems come when you start thinking about women as real people, and the real world with all its inconveniences intrudes. Which leads me to what taiyuu says here:

taiyuu otoko said:

Guys who choose monogamy (based on whatever subjective value system they have) over another style of lifestyle are being a bit dishonest (perhaps with themselves) when they say

"I CHOSE monogamy because I DON'T WANT to sleep with lots of women"

instead of saying:

"I CHOSE monogamy because it was more attractive than the other options, which might mean taking some risks and maybe getting something better, maybe not."

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I will concede that when I say I choose monogamy, I meant it in the second sense. To me, the benefits of my relationship outweighs the benefits of leading a hedonistic lifestyle. And for me, the benefits of my relationship make it easy to forego screwing other women.

I know a lot of guys here would say "You're stupid, zekko. Just have affairs behind her back. She'll never find out." Well, first of all, I don't think there is any totally foolproof way to have an affair without someone finding out. And second, I can't be bothered to live a dishonest lifestyle. I don't believe in it, and I don't want to put the effort in. To which I'm sure the hardcore PUA would say "You're a stupid brainwashed moralist".

taiyoo otoko said:

I just don't like it when guys say (or imply) "I don't WANT that" when they really mean "I'm not willing to put in the effort to GET that."

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This goes back to what Backbreaker said, and where the real world comes in. There's more to life than sex, and many men are going to have passions that take priority over it. I know guys who are extremely promiscuous, and they aren't the brightest people I know - almost their whole life is preoccuppied with sex. That's their focus, and almost all they think about. Now I have no problem if that's the way they want to live that way, but I'm glad not everybody thinks that way. Otherwise we'd be living in a world with no technology, and no medical advances.

Men make their necessity a virtue. And in other news, the sky is blue,..

There's an interesting parallel to this in the way in which women will miraculously rediscover God at or around the time their peak sexual market value is on its declination. At age 30 they suddenly have a desire to "get right with God" and do the right thing.

They swear off all the Bad Boy Jerks® who kept them so sexually enthralled when their body was nice and tight and she could be counted amongst her 22 y.o. peers. No more! She's done with those insensitive bastards, now she'll be selective; starting today it's just nice guys who love her for her and she's going to do it right this time by making them wait for sex until she's sure he's the bonafide, loyal nice guy God would want her with.

You see, women really only have the opportunity to be polyamorous during their peak SMV years, as do men, but men's peak SMV is more often established AFTER he's already in a committed monogamy/marriage (age 33-35). In order to psychologically reconcile the realities of actualizing their polyamorous options, both genders create psychological coping schemas to convince themselves that they made the right choices.

Men make their necessity a virtue, and women retroactively recreate their own pasts.

backbreaker said:

...

It's too much fvcking work. **** at 23-24 years old, spinning 2, at the most 3 plates at a time was a freaking semi full time job. keeping all of them happy, giving them all attention, taking them out all, buying them all **** from time to time, fvcking them, dealing with all their friends and all the drama that comes with that, dealing with whatever personal drama a woman has and they all have some or else they wouldn't be women, coordinating your home schedule so that you don't have girls run into each other, coordinating your going out with girls to make sure that you don't run into someone else i'm not even talking about just another girl what if the girl's best friend works at red lobster and you go on a date there? welp there goes that.

....... etc ......

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This is where I disagree completely. If you do it RIGHT, it's NOT a 'full time job'. I've dated multiple girls concurrently and it did feel like a job, but that's because I didn't have enough to offer (in their eyes) to make it any less. You only expend as much effort as you need to. I wasn't rich or famous or extremely popular, but I had enough pull. And so to keep them around I devoted a fair amount of time (probably more than I needed to, in hindsight).

For example - any famous man who has banged thousand(s). Pretty sure 2 things are true:

a) a good number of them are dying for continued attention

b) he's not spending much time maintaining this harem

It is a natural harem, one where the women can't help but be attracted to the man and are ok with sharing him, BY DEFAULT.

If you 'built' a harem, you don't have a harem. You're just seeing multiple girls.

Maybe your mindset hasn't changed the past few years, but mine certainly has. I no longer care for maintaining a steady supply of pvssy/attention/etc. I take them as they come and leave them as they go. If it means I have several girls chomping at the bit at once, great. If it means I don't get laid for a month (rare, but happens), that's ok too. I do this because I am building myself up to become a high value man, one who will attract high value (hot) women, BY DEFAULT. The day is coming, but I have a ways to go. It's the long term payoff.

I think you are menacing words.;

when i was single let's say the year before i met my wife, all in all i probably spent 10-15 hours a week dealing with various different females not including spending the night and stuff like that. generally that was 2-3 nights a week out. and i mean, it's not like a real full time job or anything but it's time i could spend something more constructive.

i just see it all as one big process,. settling down is just the next phase after the plate spinning phase when you meet a plate worth settling down with.

also you say my viewpoint changed since i have settled down but that doesn't make any sense.

to suggest that my view point has changed to fit the current nature of my lifestyle would be stating that i'm making necessity a virtue; i.e i'm trying to justify why i only have one woman. however, i made the very conscious choice to cut off my other 3 plates i was spinning when i met my wife. it's not like i just forgot how to get women or forgot how to treat them and then i only had one plate left and i held on to that plate for dear life; i was spinning a few plates and after 3 months of this i decided you know.. i really really like this one more than the others. so obviously i'm not coming from a standpoint of necessity. i still get hit on now often enough to where i know that if my wife left me i would have no problem at all jumping back and getting 2-3 plates rather quickly so the fear of not being able to get a woman isn ot keeping me where i am, the fact that i am head over heels in love with my wife keeps where i am.

my wife was out of town for 2 weeks attending to her brother who got in a car accident and hurt himself pretty bad, she just got back monday night. since i met her that was the longest i have ever went without seeing her. house to myself for 2 weeks, not one time in 2 weeks did doing something "naughty" or cheating or stepping out or trying to get a ONS from some strange cross my mind. honestly not once. the desire isn't there. it's just not. and not only that, she doesn't have to call and check on me to make sure i'm acting right she knows i'm not going anywhere as long as she's doing what she is doing. if the desire to want more was there i would have at least given it a passing thought. not even call an escrot and no muss no fuss.. there is no secret desire to have new/strange *****.


I';m not picking on you when i say this muscleman you are good people, but the more i read this site the more i think that honestly a lot of men have never actually been in a satisfying relationship. they can't imagine a relationship where you are actually happy after 1-2-3 years beucase they've never had one. and i can say that beucase, ****, utnil i met her, i hadn't lol. before i met her there was no world where i would be fvcking the same woman for 4 years because i have never been in a relationship remotely close to being this mutually satisfying.

backbreaker said:

also you say my viewpoint changed since i have settled down but that doesn't make any sense.

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Precisely. It makes a lot of sense. Just put on your critical cap, and think about it.

backbreaker said:

to suggest that my view point has changed to fit the current nature of my lifestyle would be stating that i'm making necessity a virtue; i.e i'm trying to justify why i only have one woman.

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Again. You hit it right on. And you know what? All of us, do it. There's nothing wrong with what Harvard psychologist Dan Howard calls "synthetic happiness". There's nothing wrong with feeling happy about your choice. But you are just not realizing that you would be singing from an entirely different tune if you hadn't met your amazing wife and married her.

That's the thing you need to understand. And a smart guy like you cannot just not get it. Nobody is putting your way of life down. Happiness is more often than not manufactured by our brains. So to me, objectifying one's own choices retrospectively is just ... futile. Because who are we kidding? We kid ourselves all the time. All of us.

Rollo Tomassi said:

Men make their necessity a virtue. And in other news, the sky is blue,..

There's an interesting parallel to this in the way in which women will miraculously rediscover God at or around the time their peak sexual market value is on its declination. At age 30 they suddenly have a desire to "get right with God" and do the right thing.

They swear off all the Bad Boy Jerks® who kept them so sexually enthralled when their body was nice and tight and she could be counted amongst her 22 y.o. peers. No more! She's done with those insensitive bastards, now she'll be selective; starting today it's just nice guys who love her for her and she's going to do it right this time by making them wait for sex until she's sure he's the bonafide, loyal nice guy God would want her with.

You see, women really only have the opportunity to be polyamorous during their peak SMV years, as do men, but men's peak SMV is more often established AFTER he's already in a committed monogamy/marriage (age 33-35). In order to psychologically reconcile the realities of actualizing their polyamorous options, both genders create psychological coping schemas to convince themselves that they made the right choices.

Men make their necessity a virtue, and women retroactively recreate their own pasts.

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So true, Rollo. I remember a single mommy (illegitimate kid) Mormon convert that a friend of mine was dating (this guy was a real "spread his seed" guy who liked to bang trailer park women .) Of course, being that she was hot as hell, he put up with it, waiting for his chance (he was still banging those trailer park women on the side.) He managed to get her to go on a road trip to the beach, staying at a hotel for the night, where he figured he could get "lucky". So when they were checking in (and him hoping to get a room with a queen size bed), she made sure to remind him to ask the clerk for a room with 2 beds. When he informed the clerk, he could swear that the clerk was suppressing an incredible giggle, while he hung his down in shame. Oh, and when she finished her shower, she had on jammies that went from the neck to the wrists & ankles. And on the beach - yep, a granny swimsuit! :crackup:

He did an actual peck on the lips for his trouble. :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

the first vacation my wife and i ever went on she got so pissed off at me she rented her own room lol. and stayed there the entire trip too.


actually i learned one of the most valuable lessons i ever learned about women on that trip.

women will always forgive you for making mistakes that come from being overly aggressive. a woman will never forgive you for not being aggressive enough.

when i picture how this topic plays out it would go something like this..

about 5 or 6 girls that are totally into me that have thier own careers and lives. We hang out and bang bi weekly and they dont ask any questions about relationships, marriage, where are we going and all that stuff.

The plates dont stop spinning and life is good.

What are the odds that i can make this happen? Zero. It just doesnt work that way.

Its not realistic, normally the hard work would be in constantly replacing plates that drop off, its just too much damn work. Very few guys can sustain that over time and so at some point you pick your favorite plate and focus on that, marriage or whatever you're into.

So this thread is kind of a moot point imo.

st_99 said:

when i picture how this topic plays out it would go something like this..

about 5 or 6 girls that are totally into me that have thier own careers and lives. We hang out and bang bi weekly and they dont ask any questions about relationships, marriage, where are we going and all that stuff.

The plates dont stop spinning and life is good.

What are the odds that i can make this happen? Zero. It just doesnt work that way.

Its not realistic, normally the hard work would be in constantly replacing plates that drop off, its just too much damn work. Very few guys can sustain that over time and so at some point you pick your favorite plate and focus on that, marriage or whatever you're into.

So this thread is kind of a moot point imo.

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What you describe is out of reach for most men, yes. However, having 5-6 girls in rotation (with new ones replacing those who fall off) is entirely realistic. If you are high value enough, they will compete with each other for your time, so you won't have to worry about finding replacements.

Impossible dreams are those which aren't pursued.

muscleman said:

What you describe is out of reach for most men, yes. However, having 5-6 girls in rotation (with new ones replacing those who fall off) is entirely realistic. If you are high value enough, they will compete with each other for your time, so you won't have to worry about finding replacements.

Impossible dreams are those which aren't pursued.

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just how realistic is this..

without tooting my own horn, i would think that i would be somewhere towards the top of desirable males to date. I'm wealthy, I live a very comfortable lifestyle, I am above avg to good looking in looks depending on who is judging, I 'm in tip top shape, I'm 29 and look better with my shirt off than i ever could have dreamed looking 10 years ago, I'm a very snappy dresser, and to top all that off I actually have game. If you broke the men in america up into guys who have game and guys who don't, then broke up the guys who have game into tiers, i'd be at the top tier. I doubt there are very many guys who have more game than do, That's leaving out things like I'm ambitious, I'm very funny when I want to be, I'm pretty intelligent and can talk about a wide range of subjects off the top of my head, I'm respectful, I have no bad habits, at least like seriously bad habits, no drug use..

even now i have no problem attracting women. but without putting effort into it, there are no 5-6 plates. maybe, maybe 2-3 at all times. maybe. anything more than 2-3 constant plates requires me to go out when i don't want to go out, and make a concious effort to keep my plates up.

also using my expeirence with women, i would have to run through 4 dates to get a solid plate on avg. 4 dates, 2 of the dates i'm just not really into her or she isn't into me. 2 of them woudl get a 2nd date and one of the 2 either she will think i'm a player or some **** or i find out something that is a big turn off.

so that's 4 dates for 5 plates that's 20 dates. now, an avg plate for me lasting between 3-6 months. either they wanted me to commit or i just got tired of them or whatever. let's call it 4 for the sake of this post.

damn i have to break out the math now lol

let's say how do I do this. i have to go on 20 new dates in a 4 month period. that's not including the plates i already have. so 20 dates in a 4 month period let's say that's a nice even number 1 new date a week.

now here comes the fun part. the ensure i get 1 new date a week for me that means i have to talk to at least 10 girls. as much success as i have with women, i still get shot down much more than i got dates lol i just stopped giving a ****. so for me to find 10 new women to approach to get numbers to means i have to not only find time to find 10 new women to approach, i have to go on dates with my 1 new date a week plus maintain my current stable of thoroughbreds.

all in all that's every bit of 20 hours a week. you can say it's not but you would be lying. and to make that worse for me, the large amount of my income comes on friday nights, saturday afternoons in the winter, spring and summer and sunday afternoons all year. that's pretty much when all the women are out doing their thing. so i not only have to find 20 hours a week i have to literally cut into my income base to make this **** work. My "off days" are mondays and tuesdays.

to me, at 29 with my ambitions, the **** is just not that serious. I am head over heels for my wife and even if i were to go out to date and spin plates, i won't find very many if any that are better for me than she is, so **** it lol. my time is better spent doing other things


not only is my wife extremely low maintance, if i call her out of the blue she will answer the phone saying "what", she like me always has her own **** going on and doesn't particarlly wish tob e bothered with trivial **** until we are done doing what we have to do then we can devote our time toe ach other. so not only can i go 10,000 miles without giving my wife an oil change, because she understands what i do, and not only understands, takes part in it, she doesn't bust my balls on the weekends and make time for me on Mondays and Tuesdays. she doesn't give a **** what concert is going on, or who is throwing a party or what new movie is coming out she has to go see, she knows im' about my money.

now, if the time comes where i have to go back to that i can go back to that. but it's not something i look forward to

fully agree with muscleman.

but backbreaker will never ever realize the glaring inconsistencies in his rationale.

dating 5-6 girls in rotation is entirely possible and a lot of guys do it, ALL THE TIME.

but BB will average 3.5 hours a day posting in SoSuave, then he'll go on to say, he is the most driven guy on earth , and poon doesn't excite him. But doing

fascinating stuff does. Well I get paid to create something (as abstract as it is) and I know what it takes to achieve that.

Just how believable is this? Nothing personal, but seriously dude.

Boilermaker,
'

do you realize that literally, 1/5th of your posts lols, 5 of your last 25 posts, are doing nothing but taking shots at me

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1965196#post1965196
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1964166#post1964166
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1964138#post1964138
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1964130#post1964130
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1965069#post1965069


i dont' paritucarlly care, i think it';s cute. i like having my own little fan club.


actually seriously if you sit back and think about the history of this site and there are a handful of guys who just had their own personal hate group. purtoricoDJ whatever his name was one. you guys know who I am talking about. Start8up was another. lol and you think i'm bad you would have probably assassinated start8up lol but the mofo had game out the ass. Penkitten is one though for her it's just beucase she is a female rubs some the wrong way. Player supreme was one. that's some pretty elite company you are putting me in and I'm honored.


but at some point you have to ask yourself which is worse; the guy who makes annoying posts or the guy who spends every other post of his doing nothing other than telling the other guy how annoying he is.

there is a block button. i assure you there is beucase you've been on it for quite a while lol. if i annoy you that much use it.

usually when a guy has another guy on his mind that much i call him gay. you might need to ask yourself some tough questions buddy. I know i'm good looking and all but i don't roll like that. Girls already think i'm a metrosexual as it is and i can't be seen with guys that would be just the icing on the cake

(how to handle an AMOG 101, class dismissed)

Oh no...

Please don't leave us bb !

bb - 5-6 who replenish themselves IS realistic. Maybe it hasn't been for you, and it's not there yet for me (and probably won't be for a few years), but even when you put yourself into that top tier, there's an even higher tier. A higher level of wealth, status, fame, and so one. Once (if) you reach that tier, you will see what it's like. I've only seen glimpses of it, but it has been enough of a motivator for me. It's definitely not the norm, but let's not discount something that you haven't achieved as 'unrealistic'.

Muscleman,


I have been quite clear and steady through this entire thread in saying that, you can’t tell another man how to live his life.

And I quote

To each his own. There are some guys out there that want their life to be straight out of the book "the game" with mystery and the other dude just banging hot girls every other night. there is nothing wrong with that if that is what you want to do. and i mean that.

I just have a problem with a guy telling me or anyone that doesn't share your exact view points, is only lying to themselves beucase everyone wants this but only a few know how to get it.

Click to expand...

And I quote again

For me, what "the game" did for me was allow me to not make every decision in life based on women.

As in me, meaning not anyone else.


And again

I make the choice to devote myself to my businesses/making money over gaming women and running plates.. some my choice the exact opposite and that's perfectly fine.

Click to expand...

And again

i look at it.. running my company and making money / trying to achieve the personal goals i set are more important to me than trying to run game and spin 5 plates at a time. There is some out there that want the exact opposite

Click to expand...

I can’t possibly be any clearer than the above. I never said it’s not realistic; even the example I broke down was an example of my life, not yours or anyone else’s.

I said it’s not realistic…. For ME



We assume a lot of things when we talk about things here on the forum. Lol I know it’s not realistic for me I’m a workaholic. There is no situation where I’m at a bar or at Starbucks 4-5 nights a week that’s just not gonna happen



Something else you have to take into consideration muscleman, Is I run my business from home. I gamble, just about all of it, from home and that’s what.. for me on a normal week… i have a fondness for turf racing, it's what i do best so I have a pretty quirky schedule that revolves around what i do best.



Monday 9am to 3pm,
Tuesday depending on the the year (our winter/fall) 7pm – midnight
Thursday about 9am-5:30pm
Friday 9am-11pm
Sunday 11am-5pm


and maybe 5 or 7 Saturday mornings a year like Kentucky derby, dubai world cup, tomorrow with frankel running his last race, etc. so not only do i have to work tonight until 11pm i have to get up at 5am to watch the irish champion stakes in England.




Part of the reason I’m’ always online on the weekends is because I’m trying to kill time between races. Because if I get up and then my son wants to play or something and now I’m out of my mode or I miss the race completely. That’s why I’m always around more on Friday and Saturdays than I am on monadys/Tuesdays.



Most days, at least the majority of them, I leave the house, go to the gym, run to the smoothie place, come back home. I might go out and pick up something at the store or something but that’s it. I don’t come into contact with a lot of women or **** people for that matter lol.

Sometimes to break up the monotony of what I do I take my laptop to Starbucks and just work there just to get out the house but, I mean for the most part, no 5-6 women isn’t gonna happen. Now, take that information, and now look at this from my standpoint. Now you see what I personally have to do,l to make 5-6 plates, work and you can see, that’s not gonna happen. First, because I’m married. Second because I gamble/generate most of my money from the house. When it’s cool outside I will go to santa anita or Hollywood park but usually I’m here. Third because the business I run is from my house. I don’t do enough stuff that normal people do, that p
uts me in direct access with people where I can just find plates.



And ****, even with that above, I get hit on. My setup has not changed in the last 5 years and when I was single I did exactly what I do now for the most part, and still got plates. I don’t get out a lot but I am pretty efficient when I do get out.




You are losing the forest in the trees. I started off saying that hey too each his own. You and a few others said well yeah to each his own but people who don’t want to do this are lying to themselves or don’t think it’s possible.



Then I try to show you exactly why for me, it’s not possible, and then you say It is realistic you just haven’t done it lol. we are saying the same thing lol. If I had a normal job that put me around people all the time I and didn’t gamble so much probably. But, I do gamble a lot, and I gamble a lot on Friday-Sunday and I work from home so welp that’s that.



All I am trying to get across is that, with my life, this is what is feasible for me. I love my life. It’s not for everyone but it’s for me. I would rather sit here and have a scotch and play Caufield later tonight then go to a bar and hit on women. **** and tonight is the freaking 2.6 MILLION dollar caufield cup it’s gonna be 100k people at the track and they are going to put all of the best horses in Australia in a gate and they are going to race lol gaucho would kill me if he saw that statement, the best stayers, black caviar is the best horse. That’s what the **** I am about. 7 days a week over women. And you want to know why I love my wife? Because she’s just as hyped as I am lol. she'll go get a pizza later on, we'll sit here and drink and talk **** to each other lol, a few of our horse racing friends will stop by and we all talk **** and gamble, my wife puts a few dollars on horses she thinks are pretty that's about the extent of her handicapping, my son wills it in front of the TV and act like he won the pick 6 after every race lol. but we have fun. this is how we roll.



I just want to be able to do what I do in peace and not be told that I’m’ not living u to some DJ prescribed standard because I’ve settled down. That’s all I want. If you want to bang 5 boards a week do your thing. Id on’t want to do that. Not only do I not want to do that, the changes that I would have to make in my life to be able to do that would honestly piss me off pretty bad so it would defeat the point of doing it.




You and I see things different and that’s perfectly fine. You see the way as being spinning the 5-6 plates. That’s now how I see it. What this site did for me, was make dating/women more efficient so that I can spend more time doing the **** I love doing and not have to spend Friday nights out at a bar hoping to get some *****. I don’t’ have to make my schedule around ***** anymore. That’s what this site did for me. That’s all I ever really wanted it to do for me. You want to know what misery is to me? Misery to me is missing the 2.6 million dollar caufield cup becuase a group of girls are going out and are going to be drinking and it's a good chance i might get lucky if i play my cards right, and beucase i haven't gotten any all year or in a while i have to go over watching the race. that to me, is the 9th layer of hell. that's why I am here.

backbreaker said:

I just want to be able to do what I do in peace and not be told that I’m’ not living u to some DJ prescribed standard because I’ve settled down. That’s all I want. If you want to bang 5 boards a week do your thing. Id on’t want to do that. Not only do I not want to do that, the changes that I would have to make in my life to be able to do that would honestly piss me off pretty bad so it would defeat the point of doing it.

Click to expand...

I completely agree with this. Not only that, but I have to say that I have been far happier in my exclusive LTRs than I ever was when I had multiple sex partners. It suits my lifestyle, and my personality. I don't drink (anymore), so I don't want to hang out in bars and clubs. And people tend to get on my nerves so I don't care to be around large numbers of them anymore than I have to be. The mindless masses and all that. I have my own interests to pursue.

I know some guys will be the type that they will always want to spin plates. But some of you who are so anti-monogamy, have you ever even had a well matched good quality woman with high interest in you for a relationship? If you have, I'm not sure why you would want to throw that away just so you could go bang some more club slvts.

zekko said:

But some of you who are so anti-monogamy, have you ever even had a well matched good quality woman with high interest in you for a relationship?

Click to expand...

Yep and I still crave a greasy burger now and then. I can also seperate the 2 quite easily.