payback is a *****...is it worth it?

Will_IR · Oct 15, 2012

So about 2 years ago, I was involved with a girl for about 4 months. I liked her...a lot! She had gotten out of a bad relationship recently, so she wanted to take it slow. Ultimately, at the time I was very much a beta male, and when I confronted her about where I stood with her she gave me the typical, "I can see myself with you, but there is just some reason why I can't get it together yet, I need more time." Long story short I got played. I never slept with her, and it ended with her sleeping with another guy.

I moved on, and she ended up getting serious with this other guy. Well, now that's over, and I ran into her. I asked her how she was doing and she said not well. "I didn't ask anymore, as I didn't want to be a shoulder to cry on. She then asked if I wanted to go out for "coffee or dinner some time, but only if I want to," as "she wanted to hear about my life." My first thought was 1: She just wants me to be a shoulder to cry on and 2: She wants to feel better about the way she treated me, by hearing how great my life is now. But I'm also thinking, that perhaps because she got screwed over by this other dude, that perhaps she's now looking for "something safe." (Which isn't a good start of getting interest I admit, but I can always turn that around, should I wish it, as I'm not so "safe" anymore

)

Anyway, I played it kind of aloof. I said, "I'd be cool with that," and that I was busy this weekend but sometime next week. I didn't have her number anymore, so I had to get it from her, even though she still had mine. I told her I'd give her a call next week and we could set something up. She responded with "that would be excellent, and in the mean time I should take care of myself."

Now here is my question. I'm kind of split on what to do. A part of me, what's to seduce her (if I'm indeed reading her signals right) then reject her, payback's a b!tch. Ultimately, I don't think I'm that small a person or vindictive, so I don't think I'll go with this one.

Part of me wants, to just not get involved at all. Its too much trouble, and just cut my losses. I'm grateful for meeting her, as it shed a light on a problem that I've had in my life in regards to dealing with women, and subsequently forced me to go seek a solution. (Ultimately, I'm still on that road, but much, much better off than I was before).

And lastly, a part of me wants to claim what I missed the first time. I'm a good man, and have a lot to offer a woman, and even though this one acted REALLY stupid, (Since when do women, not?) the same things that attracted me before, she still has.

So you can see brothers, I'm kind of at a crossroads here. Maybe you guys could help me shed some light on this.

Flyer · Oct 15, 2012

Ask yourself, what's different this time.
She rejected you before and is using you to release tension from her breakup.
Turn her into a friend and have her introduce you to her circle.

I'm personally against payback as you could seriously damage your reputation doing that.

betheman · Oct 15, 2012

she got dumped and now has a power vacuum, she needs to play somebody and get that power back, suck someone in then dump them. if you can get sex from her great, just dump her ar$e straight away after, get the sex quick though or move on, dont string it out

Will_IR · Oct 15, 2012

Thanks for the advice, gents. I've decided, payback, isn't worth it. But I have decided that I'm going to try and get what I didn't get last time. How do you guys suggest I go about this? Any unusual pitfalls to avoid in a situation like mine? Should I avoid her talking about her ex (ie being a shoulder to cry on)and steer the conversation to something else? Keep the conversation light and fun?

Bokanovsky · Oct 15, 2012

betheman said:
she got dumped and now has a power vacuum, she needs to play somebody and get that power back, suck someone in then dump them.

This. I wouldn't even call this chick.

SecondHalf · Oct 15, 2012

Will_IR said:
Thanks for the advice, gents. I've decided, payback, isn't worth it. But I have decided that I'm going to try and get what I didn't get last time. How do you guys suggest I go about this? Any unusual pitfalls to avoid in a situation like mine? Should I avoid her talking about her ex (ie being a shoulder to cry on)and steer the conversation to something else? Keep the conversation light and fun?

Indifference is your friend (something you had to mentally consider and ask about on a public forum). You're likely going to fail if you supplicate and agree to some boring coffee or dinner.

Take control, tell her something like "I've a new rule, fun or nothing" and propose a jazz bar where the clients are typically well dressed pretty people.
There, show her a fantastic time and pour alcohol down her throat all night. It will paint you in a new light and you might be able to slide in the vulnerable boink whilst still riding on a wave of trust from yester-year.

Yep, that's what I would do.

SH

backbreaker · Oct 15, 2012

it's too late to be indifferent, the fact that he actually had a conversation with a woman who dumped him 4 months earlier for another guy shows he's not indifferent regardless of what tactics he might try to employ.

I don't know about you but the few plates i spun when i was single who pulled just petty/stupid crap like trying to lead me on as a backup plan.. ***** im' no one's back up plan... just about all of them tried to call me back or get in touch with me at some point and every alst one of them got the dail tone. i have no interest in stupid/petty women i don't care how hard luck their story might be.

Will_IR · Oct 15, 2012

@backbreaker: you missunderstand, it was two years ago. It lasted for four months, but your point is still valid.

El_matador · Oct 15, 2012

Hey man,

I have a been in a situation like this one before and let me tell you, payback is a plate best served cold.

Like the guy above said, no coffee no dinner, go to a sports bar or some live band music, something that will distract you like big screen T.Vs or people dancing...

Let the place be close to your place, tell her to meet you at your place and that you'll leave from there... make her drink and dance, joke, have fun, no serious talk. She'll want to, but change it, small talk and fun. If she insists, tell you could go to diner anther time,where is easier to talk... Kino act alpha and fun.

back a your place close the deal on the first date, make your move, if she blocks, make it again. You're not a stranger if she won't fvckk you that night you can forget about anything.

that's how I did it.

make sure, you're over her... and don't want anything more than bang her else... you could be playing with fire and get burned.. again.

If you want revenge, just think all of the sexual things you want and try the on her and you could be surprise the stuff you could get away with.

i dumped her after she started doing nice things for me and wanted to go to family events.

if she won't give it up first night... not good.

backbreaker · Oct 15, 2012

El_matador said:
Hey man,

I have a been in a situation like this one before and let me tell you, payback is a plate best served cold.

Like the guy above said, no coffee no dinner, go to a sports bar or some live band music, something that will distract you like big screen T.Vs or people dancing...

Let the place be close to your place, tell her to meet you at your place and that you'll leave from there... make her drink and dance, joke, have fun, no serious talk. She'll want to, but change it, small talk and fun. If she insists, tell you could go to diner anther time,where is easier to talk... Kino act alpha and fun.

back a your place close the deal on the first date, make your move, if she blocks, make it again. You're not a stranger if she won't fvckk you that night you can forget about anything.

that's how I did it.

make sure, you're over her... and don't want anything more than bang her else... you could be playing with fire and get burned.. again.

If you want revenge, just think all of the sexual things you want and try the on her and you could be surprise the stuff you could get away with.

i dumped her after she started doing nice things for me and wanted to go to family events.

if she won't give it up first night... not good.

the thing is.. by doing this you aren't any better than she is. a guy that is so petty that he wants to get back at a girl who dumped him 2 years earlier by ****ing and then ducking just tog et his revenge, does nothing but validate the woman's previous decision to dump you in the first place.

if you want real revenge.. move on. the girl that brought me here originally, there was a point in time when i would have done anything on earth to be with that girl, she had a power over me that no woman has or ever will have again. not even my wife can get me to act the way she had me acting at one point.

it actually hurts her more, to realize i really, do not give a **** about her either way today, i mean i care about her well being and i don't want anything bad to happen to her, but like, i don't care if she is hurt by me being married or not hurt.. i really don't. i have moved on. there is no vegence, no hatred.. she even brings it up from time to time how she was very immature and i told her one babe, it is what it is, i've moved on as should you. I know she feels like **** for some of the things she did to me, i know she wants my forgiveness and a part of her knows she made a mistake in her preference of men, she's as much as admitted so, i just don't care. i wish her the best.

you moving on and up will hurt her more than any petty ass bull**** you do to "get back at her". you getting back at her is nothing but 2 kids throwing mud at each other. you moving on with life yet not holding a grudge shows that there is one child and one adult and she's not the adult

what's gonna hurt her more than anything, is showing her just how horrible judgement in men is by choosing him over you. the girl came out here on vacation earlier this year with her husband and i invited them to my house for dinner. they still live in apartment back in arkansas.I coudl see the wheels turning in her head (damn this could be my house if i played my cards right). i don't live in an MTV crib or anything but i have a pretty nice 4 bedroom 3 bathroom house with a patio in a very good suburb of LA. And the way you do that is by rising aboveall her petty bull**** and moving on / living life.

Naughty Ninja · Oct 15, 2012

backbreaker said:
the thing is.. by doing this you aren't any better than she is. a guy that is so petty that he wants to get back at a girl who dumped him 2 years earlier by ****ing and then ducking just tog et his revenge, does nothing but validate the woman's previous decision to dump you in the first place.

if you want real revenge.. move on. the girl that brought me here originally, there was a point in time when i would have done anything on earth to be with that girl, she had a power over me that no woman has or ever will have again. not even my wife can get me to act the way she had me acting at one point.

it actually hurts her more, to realize i really, do not give a **** about her either way today, i mean i care about her well being and i don't want anything bad to happen to her, but like, i don't care if she is hurt by me being married or not hurt.. i really don't. i have moved on. there is no vegence, no hatred.. she even brings it up from time to time how she was very immature and i told her one babe, it is what it is, i've moved on as should you. I know she feels like **** for some of the things she did to me, i know she wants my forgiveness and a part of her knows she made a mistake in her preference of men, she's as much as admitted so, i just don't care. i wish her the best.

you moving on and up will hurt her more than any petty ass bull**** you do to "get back at her". you getting back at her is nothing but 2 kids throwing mud at each other. you moving on with life yet not holding a grudge shows that there is one child and one adult and she's not the adult

Exactly. Myself, I'd simply disappear never looking back. No time for the nonsense when there are countless other people out there.

El_matador · Oct 15, 2012

backbreaker said:
the thing is.. by doing this you aren't any better than she is. a guy that is so petty that he wants to get back at a girl who dumped him 2 years earlier by ****ing and then ducking just tog et his revenge, does nothing but validate the woman's previous decision to dump you in the first place.

if you want real revenge.. move on. the girl that brought me here originally, there was a point in time when i would have done anything on earth to be with that girl, she had a power over me that no woman has or ever will have again. not even my wife can get me to act the way she had me acting at one point.

it actually hurts her more, to realize i really, do not give a **** about her either way today, i mean i care about her well being and i don't want anything bad to happen to her, but like, i don't care if she is hurt by me being married or not hurt.. i really don't. i have moved on. there is no vegence, no hatred.. she even brings it up from time to time how she was very immature and i told her one babe, it is what it is, i've moved on as should you. I know she feels like **** for some of the things she did to me, i know she wants my forgiveness and a part of her knows she made a mistake in her preference of men, she's as much as admitted so, i just don't care. i wish her the best.

you moving on and up will hurt her more than any petty ass bull**** you do to "get back at her". you getting back at her is nothing but 2 kids throwing mud at each other. you moving on with life yet not holding a grudge shows that there is one child and one adult and she's not the adult

what's gonna hurt her more than anything, is showing her just how horrible judgement in men is by choosing him over you. the girl came out here on vacation earlier this year with her husband and i invited them to my house for dinner. they still live in apartment back in arkansas.I coudl see the wheels turning in her head (damn this could be my house if i played my cards right). i don't live in an MTV crib or anything but i have a pretty nice 4 bedroom 3 bathroom house with a patio in a very good suburb of LA. And the way you do that is by rising aboveall her petty bull**** and moving on / living life.

I see what you're saying here. But I also, think it depends on the OP's situation. If he was really crushed and now he does not think its a good option to get back with her then YOUR advice is the best.

In my case, I wouldn't even see it as revenge, me wanting to make her hurt bad. my was not a relationship, we were just dating we went on 7 or 8 dates and spend a lot money on that biatch, a we never when past making out. she always had an excuse. It was more my fault than hers for being an AFC mommas boy and not being a man enough. She told me that I was sweet... blah... the she disappeared never returning my calls or texts... the guy I saw her with look like he wouldn't give a fvckk about anything, he got tired of having his way with her and dumped her.

Anyhow, I wasn't more hurt than I was pissed off, so I just wanted to get my money's worth a year later...:yes:

the OP, might just have a bit more feelings... so his best revenge is probably backbreakers' !

backbreaker · Oct 15, 2012

El_matador said:
I see what you're saying here. But I also, think it depends on the OP's situation. If he was really crushed and now he does not think its a good option to get back with her then YOUR advice is the best.

In my case, I wouldn't even see it as revenge, me wanting to make her hurt bad. my was not a relationship, we were just dating we went on 7 or 8 dates and spend a lot money on that biatch, a we never when past making out. she always had an excuse. It was more my fault than hers for being an AFC mommas boy and not being a man enough. She told me that I was sweet... blah... the she disappeared never returning my calls or texts... the guy I saw her with look like he wouldn't give a fvckk about anything, he got tired of having his way with her and dumped her.

Anyhow, I wasn't more hurt than I was pissed off, so I just wanted to get my money's worth a year later...:yes:

the OP, might just have a bit more feelings... so his best revenge is probably backbreakers' !

with all due respect your advice is ****ty regardless of the situation. your advice reeks of someone who wants to try to back door his way into some *****.

there is never, under any circumstances, a siuttation where you pay attention to a woman who kicked you to the curve in a sexual manner. none. nada. zilch.

AT the end of the day, no matter what angle you look at it from no matter how you try to spin it in your head, you are still trying to get back at a girl who amde you feel like ****. it lowers your self esteem not once but twice; the first time beucase you have to re admit that you did not get this girl and that you did not meet her standards for boyfriend material. every time you see her talk to her think bout her you re reminding ourself of this. at the end of the day, even now, you are still qualifying yourself to this girl. and i can only say that because i have at one point, been exactly there.

secondly beucase, when you look in the mirror at night before you go to bed, i don't know of very many men who like to see a guy so stuck up on a girl that takes her out a few months/years later just to get back at her for what he felt was a unjust dumping. it shows how petty you are, it shows how little of a life you have beucase you actually give a **** about this petty ****, it shows how just ow low your self esteem is beucase you feel like you have to make this right.

Look guys there is a scene in the movie Boiler room that I think applies here, the scene where Ben Aflick is trying to teach the dudes how to sale **** to these clients and make a lot of money, while at the present time, not having a lot of money and not having the ability to sale ****. You have to act as if.

If you want to be treated like a ****ing man by women who look at you as dating material, it starts with how you look at and view yourself. And the only way you can change the way you look at yourself is to start acting like the man who you want to be. A man that is worth a **** does not give an ex date the time of ****ing day regardless of the circumstances, heh as **** to do. A man that is worth as **** really does not have time to give a **** about whty a girl chose this guy over you, you have more important **** to do and if you don't, well then you have a bigger problem.

this is the building blocks to building positive self esteem. having standards and sticking to them.

even if it means being single, there is a certain level of respect that a woman is going to have for me if she wants to be a part of my life. I don't do comeback *****. She had a shot, she blew it, you don't have time to the desire to give a **** about her current life.

Greasy Pig · Oct 15, 2012

Solid, backbreaker, but I remember you saying a while back that you want a girl to go to another guy and come back because you then know she sees you as the better man among the chumps.
I liked that attitude and your rationale behind it.
Can you please explain the difference between that theory and what you've said above?

backbreaker · Oct 15, 2012

Greasy Pig said:
Solid, backbreaker, but I remember you saying a while back that you want a girl to go to another guy and come back because you then know she sees you as the better man among the chumps.
I liked that attitude and your rationale behind it.
Can you please explain the difference between that theory and what you've said above?

you are confusing spinning plates with actually being committed.

if i am plate spinning and a girl i am seeing has other plates as well, i not only have a problem with it, i think highly enough of myself.. rightfully or wrongfully that is up for debate lol, but i think highly enough of myself where her sleeping with another man or going on dates is not going to do anything but make me look good in the long run. i.e every man she dates that is not me she's going to compare to me.

i think most guys don't use this situation to their advantage enough. we spend a lot of time here talking about how to get dates with girls and how to work yourway up in a girls eyes but we hardly spend anytime on talking about how plates act when they dont; wanna be a plate anymore.. most guys here dont' have that type of experience in dealing with more than one woman at a time. they go on the defensive when they should be going going on the offensive. from my experience if i have a plate and she knows she's a plate, she has one trump card to play to get you to "act right" and that's her sleeping with another dude. this behavior is supposed to get you in line and get you to show your true feelings / commit to her beucse the thought of you losing her to another man is so unbearable

in other words, most guys get their egos hurt and don't see the forest in the trees... a woman who you don't live with and you dont' date yet has sex with a guy, and somehow you find out about it.. i assure yout hat more times than not she could have sex with a guy without you finding out about it..

she wants you to find out. this is the part of game that flies over the head of most people here. look let me use an analogy.. say we are playing spades...

a woman you are spinning as a plate and she wants to be more than a plate she wants to be the main dish.. her fvcking another guy is equivalent of me throwing out a jack of spades to go fishing for the big joker.. the jack and queen of spades are "show me what you got" cards.. .very rarely are these books but more times than not you play them to get your partners to show their hand/bump heads beucase they have to play a spade.

this is what a woman who is a plate ****ing another guy and letting you find out about it is.. it's an action/your play move. are you gonna show her how you really feel about her, are you going to make her your GF, are you going to take her more seriously now of the real threat of another guy in the picture?

in that sense no i don't mind another guy in the picture

but that's not the sense we are talking about

we are talking about the girl, flat out moved on and said she did not want to be spun anymore. she looked at you and said i have come to the conclusion i can do better. when amber messed around with her ex, i knew the only reason she did it was because i wouldn't commit. girl was head over heels for me, she would do anything i asked her to do, whatever didn't' matter.. i wouldn't commit and she contacted her ex out of the blue and ****ed him, and let me find out about it. .. but she knew me well enough at the time to know i was sleeping with other girls and that her fvcking an ex was not going to be a firable offense, but assumed it would be enough of a play for me to pay attention... but she never tried to cut me lose in fact she told me well what am i supposed to do you won't date me... but in this case, she's saying look.l just don't see it.

you cn't go from i just don't see it to i see it now that i just got used by a dude lol. that's not gonna work.

Boilermaker · Oct 15, 2012

ah .. the usual inflexibility , un-breakable rules and such. Those make us more vulnerable, not stronger.

OP, if you are the confident and laid-back male that you are, think like a woman... Not like a butt-hurt EX-beta. You liked this girl in the first place didn't you? So what if she didn't put out the first time?

Try your game again and maybe you'll get laid and have a good time. Don't take this "I was kicked to the curb, so burn in hell, you cvnt" crap too seriously.
Try your game with minimal investments. If you are going to burn yourself again, if you feel immature and insecure don't, but otherwise, go for it by all means.

Remember! A beginner needs experience before becoming a DJ, you will never get that experience if you act like the ultimate alpha with a huge ego, be humble, try again, if it doesn't pan out, move on. Otherwise, you might get some real experience into how women tick. It's more instructive than reading MM, believe me.

El Matador is spot on.

backbreaker · Oct 15, 2012

Boilermaker said:
ah .. the usual inflexibility , un-breakable rules and such. Those make us more vulnerable, not stronger.

OP, if you are the confident and laid-back male that you are, think like a woman... Not like a butt-hurt EX-beta. You liked this girl in the first place didn't you? So what if she didn't put out the first time?

Try your game again and maybe you'll get laid and have a good time. Don't take this "I was kicked to the curb, so burn in hell, you cvnt" crap too seriously.
Try your game with minimal investments. If you are going to burn yourself again, if you feel immature and insecure don't, but otherwise, go for it by all means.

Remember! A beginner needs experience before becoming a DJ, you will never get that experience if you act like the ultimate alpha with a huge ego, be humble, try again, if it doesn't pan out, move on. Otherwise, you might get some real experience into how women tick. It's more instructive than reading MM, believe me.

El Matador is spot on.

I usually don't do this but i'm going to break this down and show why this is horrible advice beucase there is something important here that needs to be compounded upon

if you are the confident and laid-back male that you are, think like a woman..

if he were a confident laid back male he would not have started a post asking about how to deal with a girl who he wants to get payback on a girl who dumped him 2 years ago. let's not confuse the facts it's not like he talked to this girl and she went one way and has re appeared and he's thinking about giving her a shot. the title of the thread cleary stated "payback is a b!tch". this motherfvcker has some feelings pent up into this ****.

that's like telling a drug addict "yeah man if you are confident in the fact that you aren't an addict anymore sure go ahead over to your friends house who happens to live right next door to your old drug dealer"

Not like a butt-hurt EX-beta.

there is nothing butt hurt about having standards and sticking to them. however getting payback on a girl who dumped you 2 years ago is the definition of passive aggressive behavior.

Try your game again and maybe you'll get laid and have a good time. Don't take this "I was kicked to the curb, so burn in hell, you cvnt" crap too seriously.

would you tell a guy who wanted to date a girl when he was 27 and she was 28 and she kicked him to the curve but now he is 34 and she is 35 and she is all over him beucase she now thinks he is interesting.. hell no, beucase everyone here worth a **** knows that the reason that the now 34 year old woman is showing interest in the man is beucase her SMV has dropped signifivantly and she's looking for a life raft.

how is this situtation any different whatsoever. women don't become attracted to you /unattracted to you.

there is only one plausible reason why she did not like you then and she does like you now, and that's because her market value has plummeted, she doesn't have the same options as she had then.

it's like my assistant. my assistant is 43 years old, i have seen pictures of her when she was 25-27 and she was a legit, 8.5-9 by California standards. ass licking hot, coke bottle body, perfect figure.. hell to be 43 she is very good looking. and this guy who she tried for a freaking decade tog et in her pants only to get shot down now at the age of 36 she's laughing at his ****ty jokes and going on dates and he thinks he's freaking won the lotto. she puts it on him a few times, he proposes, and she tells me that now she tries to go to bed an hour before he does so that he doesn't ask her to have sex lol that's how much she likes him.

this girl, knew everything about this man and decided at that time he wasn't date worthy. nothing has changed about him that is going to make her wet that wouldnt' have made her wet 2 years ago.

A beginner needs experience

yes, with girls who actually want to **** him lol

i don't know how to be any clearer than this, a negative experience is worse than no experience. when you take a girl out who isn't interested in ****ing you and you keep trying to **** her, you get accustomed to walking on egg shells, and not closing dates and in the long run does more damaged than it does help.

avoiding girls like this does 2 things. first, it frees up time to better use, so you can be working on being a better catch.secondly it doesn't plant negative seeds in your head.

and this isn't **** i am pulling out of my ass this is **** i have experienced first hand trying to **** a girl for 6 years lol, and watching me clam up on other dates with other interested girls because of my experiences with her int he back of my mind.

on the flip, the first girl i dated in 3 years, we ****ed on the 2nd date. girl was all over me. bad experience < no experience

maybe that';s why you are so hell bent on hating women. i don't hate hate women i just cut them off. I don't think all women are crazy feminist beucase efvery ****ty woman i instantly kick to the curve. there are no ****ty character women in my life. I only surround myself with quality peole and beucase of that i for the most part, only have quality experiences. maybe if you had some standards in the type of women you allow yourself to come in and out of your lfie you wouldn't' be so damn butt hurt all the time

I'm just a guy who came to this site crying on the phone to a girl while she was getting rammed inm the ass to a guy who is spinning 2-3 plates at a time and has a smoking hot wife who is crazy about me what do i know.

game can rouse up and pique attraction, but it can't create it. this woman isn't attracted to you. she's shown you as much with her actions. and **** then she went 2 years wihtout a word to you it doesn't get any clearer than that that the woman doens't have the hots for you.

there is nothing you can say that is going to make her attracted to you.

edit: Look i'm going to say this and i have to go pick my wife up from the air port. Boliermaker you do this.. you take sides of the argument, that no one else takes just so you can aruge.

The same amount of lack of information you are talking about i have, you have no problem telling him to go for it with the same lack of information I have quote unquote, it cuts both ways so don't sit here and act like you're taking some moral high ground or some **** you aren't. you are just arguing for the sake of arguing. you're hardheaded. you don't care about this particular guy as much as you care about thumbing your nose at the site and some of the things we do here for whatever the reason may and that i have a problem with beucse there is a real guy wiht a real life in the balance. if you want to start a site that teaches it's guys to entertain women women who have shown with their actions then go right ahead but this isn't the place. it literally goes against everything we teach here.

you act like i'm pulling this out of my ass it's page 101 of the DJ manual guide. You don't deal with women who aren't interested and you do deal with women who are interested. everyone is going to come and tell you how i'm right and it's not beucase i'm some bad ass, it's beucase i'm telling the guy verbatim what this site teaches on a daily basis.

Boliermaker i know you don't like me. i would be lying if i said i was fond of you im' not. I'm not saying anything you don't know. But the reason i am not fond of you, it's not because you are irritating or you like to argue or don't like me.. it's not of that i don't care about that ****.

lol, you don't realize it.. you are a ****ing reincarnation of me 8 years ago. look at my post history. you could copy and paste the **** and no one woudl be the wiser. I get you better than you will ever imagine. i was you lol. i see in you everything that i now despised about myself now when if irst came here and the **** that held me back for as long as it did. you're extremely intelligent however this is also your biggest flaw, as it was mine. you have a chip on your shoulder as I did. You feel wronged, as I did.

the more experience with this **** the more you will realize, you are over complicating the game and then when people try to point you in the right direction you buck at them. . the blue print is here. it works.

now off to pick up the wife and hopefully get some nookie.

Boilermaker · Oct 16, 2012

You talk too much even when there is very little information. Much of what you say is speculation.

Let's wait for the OP to clarify his situation. Maybe he just wants a girlfriend. Maybe he doesn't care about what she did before, and he actually wants a girlfriend but is afraid to hurt himself again. That may well be the reason he's uttering the words "payback". Maybe he doesn't have "plates" to attend to, maybe it's hard for him to even get a shot. I have active relationships, yet I am single, and I know how hard it is to actually find "new" plates out of thin air. You might have forgotten how it is for the single young males out there. Either way, he has a shot with this girl, and with nothing to lose, why is it bad for him to try his chance? How will that make him not principled? He knows he has nothing to lose, if he's not heavily involved emotionally. And I also said it's a no-go if he has feelings for her.

Problem with your advice in general is, too many thoughts with too few facts to go with. Wait for a few more posts, before making analogies declaring OP a drug addict, will you?

Edit:
(BB: Thanks for acknowledging that you blurted out lots of advice without knowing the facts. You do this a lot, lately. I tell you something and you yell like my little nephew, -hey you did the same!... Well, I gave some advice too, but my post is a paragraph long, yours is what? Two pages? I always accept that there's a fog-of-war in cases like this. So I say, let the OP read all this and decide how to live his life, differing arguments are always enriching one's mind. I don't have an issue with you per se, I have an issue with "dogmas" because I learned to think like a scientist. I doubt DJ Manual 101, as well, because lot of the hard-core advice perpetuated in there doesn't necessarily apply to real-life situations. You think that I come here to disagree with you for the sake of it, couldn't be further from the truth. You are irrational as much as anybody, it's just that you talk too much, and I honestly disagree with a lot of sh!t you say. I just don't have time to respond like you do. I was "the OP" with a girl I liked two years ago, and you know what happened? After a year later rejecting me, I tried my chances again being much wiser, she madly fell in love with me and we had a real, rewarding LTR for another year. See? Because I was better -- she was the same. It's about YOU not the girl. That's what being a DJ is about.)

Naughty Ninja · Oct 16, 2012

backbreaker said:
i think most guys don't use this situation to their advantage enough. we spend a lot of time here talking about how to get dates with girls and how to work yourway up in a girls eyes but we hardly spend anytime on talking about how plates act when they dont; wanna be a plate anymore.. most guys here dont' have that type of experience in dealing with more than one woman at a time. they go on the defensive when they should be going going on the offensive. from my experience if i have a plate and she knows she's a plate, she has one trump card to play to get you to "act right" and that's her sleeping with another dude. this behavior is supposed to get you in line and get you to show your true feelings / commit to her beucse the thought of you losing her to another man is so unbearable

in other words, most guys get their egos hurt and don't see the forest in the trees... a woman who you don't live with and you dont' date yet has sex with a guy, and somehow you find out about it.. i assure yout hat more times than not she could have sex with a guy without you finding out about it..

she wants you to find out.

Interesting. But what about a chick you have been talking to and haven't fvcked let alone dated? I basically talked with this chick for a while at my part time and though she's hot her talk of smoking weed and getting drunk on weekends turned me off though I didn't show it.

She's made comments towards me of : "Oh he's so bad" a few times. got her number and just got too busy to even bother hanging out. The other night while working I hadn't been in there in a week and I know she saw my sister whom she doesn't know is my sister and I standing close talking to two other girls whom my sister knows that work there. (I could tell she was looking). Then later I went by her area going to get clothes and said hello. She asked where I'd been and I told her I was out for a pinched nerve. Then all of a sudden for the first time she mentions "Oh my boyfriend slipped a disk".

Now I'm sure she isn't lying but I wondered if she said that on purpose because I never hung out with her and then she saw my sister thinking it was someone else. (She doesn't know her.)

Not that it really matters..Just wondering if it was kindof a purposeful jab at me like: Go fvck yourself have a nice day =). lol

backbreaker · Oct 17, 2012

Naughty Ninja said:
Interesting. But what about a chick you have been talking to and haven't fvcked let alone dated? I basically talked with this chick for a while at my part time and though she's hot her talk of smoking weed and getting drunk on weekends turned me off though I didn't show it.

She's made comments towards me of : "Oh he's so bad" a few times. got her number and just got too busy to even bother hanging out. The other night while working I hadn't been in there in a week and I know she saw my sister whom she doesn't know is my sister and I standing close talking to two other girls whom my sister knows that work there. (I could tell she was looking). Then later I went by her area going to get clothes and said hello. She asked where I'd been and I told her I was out for a pinched nerve. Then all of a sudden for the first time she mentions "Oh my boyfriend slipped a disk".

Now I'm sure she isn't lying but I wondered if she said that on purpose because I never hung out with her and then she saw my sister thinking it was someone else. (She doesn't know her.)

Not that it really matters..Just wondering if it was kindof a purposeful jab at me like: Go fvck yourself have a nice day =). lol

I think she likes you.

from my experience, most attractive women generally work off the assumption that all the guys around her would not mind having sex with her. This may sound arrogant but it's pretty true and they know this.

so when she exchanged numbers with you and gave you the go ahead to call i think she expected you to jump all over it at the chance to maybe hook up with her.

but you didn't.

so now, she is wondering why you haven't done this so her strategy now is to make it known to you that she is in fact desirable/datable by droping hints that she has a man in her life. this is the vast majority of most women's logic. you just not being interested doesn't equate to most women.

i bet she wasn't specific at all she just found a good way to toss in a covert hint that she is diserable.

i would have fun with someone like this, jennifer T the girl in this post

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1964379&postcount=9

did that to me. i wasn't all that interested because i had just broken up with someone and she went from flirting to "my boyfriend does that too" all the time

what i would do is i would start casually dropping hints about what i do and dont like about women and then see if she picks up on it and implements these things. that's yoru tell tale right there. like with jennifer, she smoked cigs when i met her and i had girls who smoked. i told her one day after work that's nasty. i never saw another cig again around her. maybe comment on a customers nice legs and say something like man i like a girl with nice legs and see what she does with that or something. she's looking for an In it looks lke to me.

using the sex carrot only works when you have actually had sex with someone then have sex with someone else to rile up jealousy but if she hasn't had sex wtih you and offs about how she is having sex with other guys now she just comes off as a skank lol.

payback is a *****...is it worth it?

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