Girl says that shes just a tease, is this a lost cause? Need help!

OK, heres the background, I met this chick through a mutual friend. We started going clubbing together pretty regularly for the past 2 months. She expressed that she had feelings for me and that she liked everything about me. The problem is she is a huge tease and I don't know if I playing into her stupid little game.

She is the kind of the girl that goes to the club and dances with every guy, but she doesnt take any of the guys home or make out with them, at least ive never seen it. Recently, we actually had the chance to go out for dinner, and we made out and she asked are you going to miss me and all that stuff calling it a date. This was our only time out alone without going to the club or whatever where theres millions of guys coming on to her.

Since then, I have been unable to get her alone, all she wants to do is go to the club with me. Today, when she promised that we would spend some alone time, when the time came rather she texted me do you want to go to the club. I said, we've been going to the club every week for the last 4 weeks, lets spend some time alone to chill.

She told me that she doesn't spend alone time, thats not her thing, and that she is just a tease. But she still invited me to the club, to which I declined because I was obviously pissed as ive been looking forward to spending some time with her.

I decided to go out this night to another club by myself where I met another cute girl(who is married) but she we talked and she agreed to come with me to the club where I knew the tease girl was going to be. I don't know if this was really AFC of me. Anyways, I hit the club with the married girl, we are dancing together, and she (the tease) probably saw me there, she was of course dancing with other guys, but I was thinking of course rather than me getting mad at her and turning her off like an AFC, this would be the alpha thing to do as it shows social value if im with another girl and it would get her jealous. Was this a real AFC move by me or alpha?

Is this a lost cause my friends? Should I just next and move on? I don't plan on calling her anymore.

gspshields2 said:

OK, heres the background, I met this chick through a mutual friend. We started going clubbing together pretty regularly for the past 2 months. She expressed that she had feelings for me and that she liked everything about me.

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So she just "out of the blue" started telling you that she liked you.

Huh. So what does that mean exactly? Does it mean she wants to date you,that she just wants to be friends with you,just wants to have sex with you,or what? And what was your response to this?

gspshields2 said:

The problem is she is a huge tease and I don't know if I playing into her stupid little game.

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Well you've known her for 2+ months. So in that time,have you gotten ANYTHING you've wanted from her? I know you said that you two made out once,and that's cool and all,but if that's all that's happened in 2 months,chances are nothing more is going to happen if it hasn't already.


What EXACTLY is it you want from her anyway?

gspshields2 said:

Since then, I have been unable to get her alone, all she wants to do is go to the club with me. Today, when she promised that we would spend some alone time, when the time came rather she texted me do you want to go to the club.

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So she promised you that she'd spend time alone with you.

Uhhh....that's not good dude. I know she said she likes you and all,but if she were really into you,you wouldn't be able to keep her away from you.


Two people spending time together should be a PLEASURE for BOTH PEOPLE involved. The vibe I get from her "promise" was more like,"Ok,ok.....geez,I'll spend time with you. Just stop buggin' me about it".


She sounds like she's relenting or giving in to seeing you alone,not like it's something she's excitedly looking forward to.

gspshields2 said:

She told me that she doesn't spend alone time, thats not her thing,

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So her spending time alone with a guy is "not her thing".


My "spider sense" just went off....


So I guess she's a virgin,right? She HAS TO BE. If she doesn't spend time alone with guys,then no way she can have sex with them,right?


Something up dude. Either she's got issues,she's lying,or she doesn't really like you. But somethin's up.

gspshields2 said:

Is this a lost cause my friends? Should I just next and move on? I don't plan on calling her anymore.

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Forum rule #1.....


GO BY WHAT A WOMAN DOES,NOT BY WHAT SHE SAYS.


She SAYS she likes you,right? Well do her actions MATCH her words?

She says she likes you,but she's NOT WILLING to spend one on one time with you. Does that sound like a girl who likes you?



If she was telling the truth (which I doubt) about how spending one on one time with a guy "isn't her thing",and that's something you're looking for in a girl,then it's simple....

You two aren't compatible. She needs to go find someone who doesn't mind not being about to spend 1 on 1 time together,and you need to go find someone who DOES LIKE 1 on 1 time.


It's just that simple.

she texted me again that shes at our mutual friend's house,
probably wants to go clubbing again.

should i just ignore?

Go and make a move for the love of god.

Grab your balls and reattach them.

If she likes you she would go out her way to spend alone time with you.

All she wants to do is go to the club to meet other guys. Do you provide her transportation to the club or pay for her to get in?

she is probably teasing other guys d****

she will think even lower of you when you're dancing with a married woman

if she wanted you, she would be dancing with you, not other guys.

If the girl has to flat out tell you that she is a tease in order for you to get the hint, I would say that's about as close to a lost cause as it gets.

Igetit! said:

Two people spending time together should be a PLEASURE for BOTH PEOPLE involved. The vibe I get from her "promise" was more like,"Ok,ok.....geez,I'll spend time with you. Just stop buggin' me about it".

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Good point.

Think about it, most of the quality time you two have spent together has actually consisted of her getting attention from other guys and dancing with them. Bottom line: You can do way better.

PrettyBoyAJ said:

If she likes you she would go out her way to spend alone time with you.

All she wants to do is go to the club to meet other guys. Do you provide her transportation to the club or pay for her to get in?

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I don't pay for her to get in. She has paid for me to get in before once, but i never pay for her. However, I do provide her transportation to the club. But, she can always get her own ride anytime she wants anyways, if i dont go to the club with her, she will find her own way. It is not like she needs me to give her a ride, she can easily get a ride from tons of other guys.

And that ain't a red flag in your book that she can get a ride from a ton of other guys?

gspshields said:

I don't pay for her to get in. She has paid for me to get in before once, but i never pay for her. However, I do provide her transportation to the club. But, she can always get her own ride anytime she wants anyways, if i dont go to the club with her, she will find her own way. It is not like she needs me to give her a ride, she can easily get a ride from tons of other guys.

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Congratulations, you're an orbiter.
So you spend all this time at the club, and she's dancing and getting hit on by all these guys. What are you doing during all this time? Maybe you should be getting some numbers (hey, you've got her for social proof) instead of wasting all your time pining for this one girl.

Even when you pick up a married girl at another club your first thought is this other girl and to make her jealous. Sounds like you have oneitis, my friend. You deserve better than what this chick is giving you.

F*k all the sh*t, The fact that she clubs so much is a Red Flag for me. If she ain't hookin up with you then what's the point. You've known this girl for months and you don't even know what her pu$$y looks like. If I talk to a girl for more then a week that I know clubs alot I better be getting all the poonnani I can get. You don't "cake" to these h0es.

zekko said:

Congratulations, you're an orbiter.
So you spend all this time at the club, and she's dancing and getting hit on by all these guys. What are you doing during all this time? Maybe you should be getting some numbers (hey, you've got her for social proof) instead of wasting all your time pining for this one girl.

Even when you pick up a married girl at another club your first thought is this other girl and to make her jealous. Sounds like you have oneitis, my friend. You deserve better than what this chick is giving you.

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I suppose I could use her for social proof, that is the only thing she is good for I guess. Nope I didn't get any numbers from other girls when I was at the club, I'm kicking myself for wasting time. I don't know why she made out with me and told me all those things about liking me, I guess she wants to boost her ego. Doesn't make sense since shes already got tons of other guys boosting her ego. Why drag me along?

PrettyBoyAJ said:

F*k all the sh*t, The fact that she clubs so much is a Red Flag for me. If she ain't hookin up with you then what's the point. You've known this girl for months and you don't even know what her pu$$y looks like. If I talk to a girl for more then a week that I know clubs alot I better be getting all the poonnani I can get. You don't "cake" to these h0es.

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Well im not looking for a wife here. What can I do to redeem myself?

gspshields said:

I don't know why she made out with me and told me all those things about liking me, I guess she wants to boost her ego. Doesn't make sense since shes already got tons of other guys boosting her ego. Why drag me along?

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Who knows what goes through these girls' heads?
Sounds like you're a safe source of attention for her.

Heck, why wouldn't she like you? You take her to the club, then wait like a chauffer while she dances with all the other guys. You even remain loyal to her and don't hit on any other girls. And you don't demand sex from her like some other dudes might. She's got it made.

Something is off here, your not telling us the full story in terms of time frame.

Specifically from the one time you guys made out and she told you she liked you, to the time she "promised" she would be down to spend alone time with you, to changing her mind and wanting to go clubbing.

How much time passed between that one and only make out, her confession of liking you and this recent "broken promise" in favor of clubbing??




PIMP

Pimp-sicle said:

Something is off here, your not telling us the full story in terms of time frame.

Specifically from the one time you guys made out and she told you she liked you, to the time she "promised" she would be down to spend alone time with you, to changing her mind and wanting to go clubbing.

How much time passed between that one and only make out, her confession of liking you and this recent "broken promise" in favor of clubbing??




PIMP

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make out and her confession of liking me was 2 weeks ago. the promise was on tuesday of this week. and on friday she flaked on me. well not flaked, she wanted to go clubbing.

she texted me again today, but i just ignored her.

this is important, so what do u think the plan is from here??

my plan is to tell her that I don't play the getting teased game. So i guess we are both out of games to play and to stop calling.
Do you believe that will actually make her want me more?

I can tell this is the only girl your "talking" to.

PrettyBoyAJ said:

I can tell this is the only girl your "talking" to.

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Pretty much. Its hard to meet girls =)

gspshields2 said:

Pretty much. Its hard to meet girls =)

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I don't think you understand what PrettyBoyAJ was getting at when he said that he could tell that this is the only girl you're talking to.


Look.....if we could tell that from what you've wrote and how you behave,then you know this girl can too. If you had other options available,you wouldn't be pestering this girl about "spending time alone" with you.


You're coming off as being more into her than she is into you,and that's going to be a bit of a turnoff for her. This is the only girl you have interest in,while her,she (according to you) "goes to the club or whatever where theres millions of guys coming on to her.",


You say that at the club and/or other places,there's "millions of guys" coming on to her,right? Well guess what?


YOU'RE 1 million and ONE.


This MAY BE salvageable,but you'll need a different gameplan.

gspshields2 said:

she texted me again today, but i just ignored her.

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Don't start that ignoring "nonsense". The "silent treatment" doesn't create attraction. It just shows that you're angry or upset,which in turn shows that you're HURT. And being hurt shows emotional investment.



What you want to do is gradually withdraw your interest,NOT go quiet or start ignoring her. If she calls or text you wanting to go to the club,REPLY.


Just tell her that you ALREADY HAVE OTHER PLANS,or that you can't because you have so and so else to do.....AND DON'T COUNTER-OFFER.. Just talk a bit,tell her you have to go,then end the conversation.


You do that a few time WITHOUT saying or doing anything that would indicate you want to see her,then EMOTIONALLY,she'll start to "sense" that something is different.


You're not mad. You're not angry or upset. And the fact that you NO LONGER try to "spend time" with her,and turn down all of her offers to go to the club with her WITHOUT BEING ANGRY OR UPSET,will make her think that you just no longer care. And when that happen,then the tide will start to turn.




Have you ever seen someone hold a piece of food out in the air and have a dog stand on it's hind legs trying to get it?


STOP ACTING LIKE THAT.

gspshields2 said:

this is important, so what do u think the plan is from here??

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You can start with what I suggested above if you want,but you need to tell us what it is you want with her.


It's HARD to give someone direction when they don't tell you were they want to go. So what do you want with her?

Is it sex only?
A relationship?
Friends with benefits?


You come her and drop this trainwreck on the forum,but you never told us where the train was supposed to go.

gspshields2 said:

my plan is to tell her that I don't play the getting teased game.

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Well you've been playing it so far.

Remember....she has "millions of guys" chasing her,while you,you only have HER to show interest in like PrettyBoyAJ concluded.


Since (in your mind) you have NO OTHER OPTIONS besides her,and she thinks that as well (because of you),then who are you to tell her you don't play the "getting teased" game? What choice do you have? She's the one with millions of options,not you. You only have her,remember?


I mean it's not like you're going to pursue anybody else,right?

gspshields2 said:

Do you believe that will actually make her want me more?

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No,it won't.

You,having a logical discussion with her about not playing games isn't going to suddenly make her interest level spike through that roof.


The STRONGEST weapon a guy has to get a girl's attention is the power to WALK AWAY,but since YOU BELIEVE you have no other choices besides her,it's doubtful you'll do that,so you're stuck.



She has all these millions of options to entertain,while you're stuck hoping that she'll suddenly start "acting right" when you give her your "I don't play games" speech.



Wow.


Well I wish you luck kid,cause you're gonna need it.

The tease calls me today from a Restricted number. She asks what I am doing? I said I am just watching the basketball game. Shes like cool, you should take me shopping sometime. I flip the switch and I suggest that she should take me shopping sometime. She said "Why would I do that". My reponse is "Why not. Other girls have bought stuff for me before, it's no big deal".

Anyways after a who lot of *bs*, she says can I ask you a favor. She needs a ride a home and all her stuff is at her friends place. I obviously don't want to be her chaffeur, so I said that I'm busy and all that. Well she had this all planned out, as per the beginning of the conversation. She says, "but u just said ur watching basketball". I tell her I have stuff to do and whatever and that if maybe we planned this I could do it.

Now with gas prices very high today just the trip alone would cost me $25 I fugre. So I tell her i don't have no money and I'm waiting for the next paycheck. She offers to pay "$20" for the gas. Now again, I would be in the negative $5 if I did this for her. So I told her that I wanted $40. She said ok just forget it, its ok then. ill call you.

Then she hung up.

I didn't bow down to her. Was this the right move?