Vatoloco's Observation Log

You have to swing to hit...

Yesterday evening I was at one of my local warehouse clubs buying some food. I really didn't want to (as all stores are packed right now with Christmas shoppers) but I really needed to so I went for the bare essentials that I needed.

The registers are packed but I know that if you don't have a lot of stuff, the person in the tobacco register will let you pay there. Unfortunately, it seems like more people have been privy to this little secret so there's a line. I go stand towards the end. Earlier I had noticed this cute little thing from behind (and from a distance), but I lost her in the crowd. Turns out cutie ends up behind me in this line trying to pay for a single item.

Unfortunately, although she was the petite and slim type that I like, once I had her up-close I realized she was old! Maybe in her late 30s and it showed. My IL dropped but, like I say: "Always practice and always talk with women!" Plus I figure she could be a nice ONS or FB. So I open her with a funny about the main registers being worse. She smiles and replies in Spanish, the other language around these parts. Me, being fully bilingual continue the conversation in Spanish. Unfortunately, when I name-closed her, she didn't ask me for my name so at that point I knew she had low IL. I kept the remaining conversation polite and subsequently bailed.

Things to be learned:

• Always close and always talk with women. Yes, I keep mentioning this. It's extremely important. In this case, even though I closed, she was not interested. But this doesn't matter. "You have to swing to hit." Plus you get to practice your materials and test your wit.

P.S. I'm outside in the parking talking to an older gentleman (story later) when she comes out and realizes that I'm riding a nice motorcycle. Her facial expression changes, giving me "that look."

Sorry sweetheart, I only ask once! Plus I was more interested in the conversation I was having with this older gentleman...

"I used to ride one too..."

So I leave the store and head towards the parking lot. I had parked my bike near a handicapped space and as I'm putting my food in my bag I hear a voice behind me: "Good thing you got here. I'm leaving and I didn't want to back up into your bike!" I turn around and I see this older gentleman in one of those Rascal scooter things. I politely tell him "Don't worry sir, I'll be out of your way in about a minute" as I continue putting the food into my bag.

"You know... I used to ride one too..." he tells me out of the blue. So I start talking about this man about motorcycling. He used to ride a Harley back in the day. So did his friends. He asks me about my ride. I tell him what it is. He asks me about my vanity plate. "What does [vanity plate here] mean?" "It's a Japanese name. A Japanese name for a Japanese bike" I tell him. (hey, for the price of one Harley I got me two Japanese bikes -- a cruiser and a standard).

He gets a little quiet but after about 3 seconds of silence, we continue the conversation (he had a WWII Veteran hat on -- I can see where he was coming from.) We talk for a good ten minutes about the old days (well, more like his old days ), the importance of training, friends and women. It was during this time that I felt someone watching me and I turn around to see "old cutie" looking at me from a distance. But like I said, I was more interested in this conversation...

At the end of the conversation he tells me "I just turned 90. You have a good head on your shoulders. What are you? 30?" "I'm 35. You are much too kind sir!" I jokingly tell him. We shake hands and I tell him "I hope I get to be your age one day sir." and then I go on my way.

Lessons to be learned:

• Gaming women is not all there is to life. In this case, I was more interested in talking to this man than to go back to "old cutie" and try to get her number. Live a good Life and a Good Woman will eventually become part of it.
• Be respectful. Even if you don't necessarily like or agree with something, be polite about it. In this case, the gentleman probably didn't like the fact that I rode a Japanese bike (it's a cruiser so it's reasonable to assume that it's a Harley) but he wasn't a dick about it. He had class.
• Be kind... from time to time. Like I mentioned earlier, I don't go out of my way to be nice to people but in this case I gave this man 10 minutes of my time and in return he gave me inspiration to keep living my life the way I do and hopefully get to be his age. It was a good trade off if you ask me...

What do you ride?

women haze said:

What do you ride?

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A metric cruiser and a streetfightered 2008 Motorcyclist Magazine's Motorcycle of the Year.

When I build me my nice shed in the backyard, I'll be adding a Yamaha R1 to my stable.

thanks guy for all the life lessons.

i don't have any to tell really. i am 20 and have only learned one thing.
.
don't fall for your bestfriend. in the end she will just burn you

Great Observations!!

Keep them coming crazy gangster. Great stuff!

Packers2010 said:

thanks guy for all the life lessons.

i don't have any to tell really. i am 20 and have only learned one thing.
.
don't fall for your bestfriend. in the end she will just burn you

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True. A more important one though would be "Don't become [best]friends with a girl you wanna bone."

Don't put yourself in the FZ. You want a girl? Go for it.

Hikapo said:

Keep them coming crazy gangster. Great stuff!

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Hey, you're welcome man. You obviously know quality stuff when you see it! LOL!

Though I don't know about the "crazy gangster" thingy. Although one could say that although I have the rough look going (bald plus goatie), I'm far from a "vato loco." I chose the name in a whimsical attempt at satire. I would be more accurately described as a "coconut" (brown on the outside, white on the inside).

"His name is [...]"

So now that my life is more or less going back to normal, I will start posting again. Here's a situation that happened to me last month:

So one day in December I'm at work, starting to get ready to go home when out of the corner of my eye I see something that looks like a small plush animal. So I go up to the table where it was and I pick it up.

"What is this plushie?" I ask the girls.
"His name is [insert name here]" (I don't want this to be searchable) one of them answers.
"So what is [name] supposed to be!?"
"He is a [animal name here]"
"Really!? He looks like a [different animal] to me!"

With plush toy in hand, I step about 20 feet away, show it to them and ask them "See, doesn't it look like a [different animal] from this distance?" and they just giggle.

One was a 6 so I really wasn't interested. The other, the one who initially replied, was a cute 7 (7.5 to 8 now that I've seen her dressed up on her Facebook pics). Of course, I make random chit-chat about what they're studying and I name close them. The 7 asks for my name. I ask the 7 if she could meet me outside the lab where I work and she says yes. So I ask for her number but she has an out-of-country cell but she counters with her Facebook and e-mail.

Due to holidays and school break, I barely added her to my plate rotation. Oh, btw, I just turned 36. She's 19. When she told me (she looks 22-24), of course I went with my routine, switching it to its "Woah!! You're waaaay too old. I only date [her age minus 1 -- in this case: 18] year olds now..." variant. I told her my true age (she asked) and she says she didn't care about the age difference.

Lessons to be learned:

• Use your surroundings. I use the little plush toy as part of my opener. Use your surroundings and their related situation to find a topic of conversation when talking with people.
• Don't worry too much about age. Sure, some young girls will not go out with much older guys but some actually prefer them. This young 7 was telling me that most guys her age "are dumb." My last young plate (a 21-year old) told me that she actually preferred much older men.

" let her know that she's disrespecting you (though this is not advisable in a romantic relationship)."

Curious as to why this is so, the part in bracket, I've run into a problem dealing with disrespect while being in a romantic relationshiip. Thanks!

san1 said:

"let her know that she's disrespecting you (though this is not advisable in a romantic relationship)."

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Curious as to why this is so, the part in bracket, I've run into a problem dealing with disrespect while being in a romantic relationshiip. Thanks!

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The problem with letting her know directly that she's disrespecting you when you're in an established, romantic relationship is that it might already be too late to fix.

When a woman is so much in love with you (that is, her IL is sky-high), she won't risk losing you by disrespecting you. However, if you start turning her off (by going back to your old AFC ways), her IL will start to drop and she will start disrespecting you.

This can also happen when you let her know (orally or via actions) that she pretty much has you locked up and she gets too ****y "Hey, he ain't going nowhere!" Women, like children, will try to push the boundaries if they feel confident enough.

By letting her know directly that she's disrespecting you, you will trigger her defensive mechanisms. Your "whining & complaining" will be seen as a sign of weakness and most of the time the requests for disrespect to stop are futile when it comes to a woman who already has low IL.

However, if you let her know indirectly (via behavioral mirroring, absence, lack of affection, etc) she might think about what's going on and realize that her current behavior (the disrespect) has the direct consequence of you doing the same thing to her, not spending time with her and/or not getting the emotional/physical closeness that she needs. The idea of stopping the disrespect has to come from her in order for it to be effective.

Remember, if you have tell her to change her behavior, you have mayor problems and the relationship is more than likely doomed to fail...

But of course, this is just my crazy thinking. I'm no relationship expert. I only play one on TV...

YMMV

"Go get more napkins!"

Yesterday I went out to Mickey D's for lunch. While I was eating my lunch, I notice that the highschool kids started coming in. I paid attention to two couples in particular.

Couple #1:
Girl, HB8. Guy, probably 6~7. Based on body language, the guy's IL is waaay higher than hers. They order and after they're done, the girl immediately heads to a booth while the guy waits for the order. The guy picks it up and takes it to her. After dropping off the food, the girl immediately starts eating while he heads over to pick up straws, ketchup and napkins.

I kept on eating my food while still monitoring them out of the corner of my eye. The guy's body is obviously concentrated on appealing to the girl (body slumped over, pointing towards her, trying to make conversation). The girl, on the other hand, is more interested in eating than interacting with her "lunch date." At one point during their meal, she orders him "Go get more napkins!" without so much a "please" or a pleading tone of voice. The guy of course, jumps out of his seat to go comply with the order...

Couple #2:
Girl, HB8. Guy, probably 7~8. Based on body language, their ILs seem to be on par. The guy places the order, while the girl goes and gets the straws and napkins. She waits for him and they both head together towards an area of the restaurant that I can't see so I don't have any further reporting on their interaction.

Observations:

• This should be clear as water. Which girl would you rather have as a date?

Your body language "speaks" for you

I keep wanting to type this up but I forget. Anyway, here it is.

At work there is this guy who, unfortunately for him, is the quintessential "Nice Guy." My boss and co-workers love him as he is a great employee. As a result of him being a nice guy, he's always being taken advantage by other people (extra workloads, covering other people's shifts, always getting the "special" [read: more work] projects, etc.) Over the past few months I've been observing him. Here's what I've noticed:

• Talks with a pleading tone of voice and vocabulary.
• Walks slumped over. Terrible posture.
• Generic fashion style.

Lessons to be learned:

• See those three things above? Do the opposite.

vatoloco said:

I keep wanting to type this up but I forget. Anyway, here it is.

At work there is this guy who, unfortunately for him, is the quintessential "Nice Guy." My boss and co-workers love him as he is a great employee. As a result of him being a nice guy, he's always being taken advantage by other people (extra workloads, covering other people's shifts, always getting the "special" [read: more work] projects, etc.) Over the past few months I've been observing him. Here's what I've noticed:

• Talks with a pleading tone of voice and vocabulary.
• Walks slumped over. Terrible posture.
• Generic fashion style.

Lessons to be learned:

• See those three things above? Do the opposite.

Click to expand...

Some of those view points I disagree with...
Taking other's shifts...that right there is a team player. Like If i had something I needed to do I could depend on him, and that makes him valuable and flexable. I would be buying him lunch for helping me out. What is wrong about being liked in the workplace?

Getting extra work and duties will pay off in the long run when his review comes along and he gets that promotion, or that fat raise.

I seen it all the time, the well liked people make it far in the company. You want to do the opposite of this guy???? nah..as far as Slouched over posture and generic fashion sense I agree with you on that. it won't give him special treatment from any females...

Yet then again if he is a likable guy ....the females will come

women haze said:

Some of those view points I disagree with...
Taking other's shifts...that right there is a team player. Like If i had something I needed to do I could depend on him, and that makes him valuable and flexable. I would be buying him lunch for helping me out. What is wrong about being liked in the workplace?

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Oh, I agree with you. Being a team player is a good quality to have. The problem with this guy is that he is the "go to" guy whenever someone wants time off. Unfortunately when he needs time off (to take care of his school-related things), everyone else is "busy" or has "something else" to do.

Getting extra work and duties will pay off in the long run when his review comes along and he gets that promotion, or that fat raise. I seen it all the time, the well liked people make it far in the company. You want to do the opposite of this guy????

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I agree man. But even if you are a good employee, if you're the department's doormat, you will get passed on when promotions and raises are concerned. That's the problem with this guy: he is a Good Samaritan.

nah..as far as Slouched over posture and generic fashion sense I agree with you on that. it won't give him special treatment from any females...

Yet then again if he is a likable guy ....the females will come

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The sad thing is that the females here KNOW that he is a Nice Guy. No one would consider him romantically. They're only interested in talking to him if they want something out of him.

There was this girl whose international work visa was running out and the time she could legally work was running out. The girls were joking around how she should get married to this guy (US citizen) so that she could stay and work in the country.

The girl ended up travelling across the country entering a teacher program of sorts that would sponsor her visa.

She wasn't an education major.

what line of work is this?

Mine? Technical work for a higher education institution.

Theirs: customer service support for technology users. Both undergrads and grads.

"Two Boys for Every Girl"... wait, WHAT!?

This post reminded me of what I've been noticing lately.

Everywhere I go where men and women socialize, I notice that there are usually 2 or more guys vying for a woman's attention. She, of course, is the center of attention (literally) with guys trying to outshine the others' conversation and/or trying to "out-peacock" each other. She of course eats all of this up, feeding her ego and the illusion that she's the princess, with a harem of men competing for her time.

And unfortunately, this perpetuates the "pedestaling" problem that currently prevails...

Lessons to be learned:

• Don't "hangout" with women in groups. If you're romantically interested in a woman, isolate, escalate and close. Otherwise you're FZing yourself...

vatoloco said:

This post reminded me of what I've been noticing lately.

Everywhere I go where men and women socialize, I notice that there are usually 2 or more guys vying for a woman's attention. She, of course, is the center of attention (literally) with guys trying to outshine the others' conversation and/or trying to "out-peacock" each other. She of course eats all of this up, feeding her ego and the illusion that she's the princess, with a harem of men competing for her time.

And unfortunately, this perpetuates the "pedestaling" problem that currently prevails...

Lessons to be learned:

• Don't "hangout" with women in groups. If you're romantically interested in a woman, isolate, escalate and close. Otherwise you're FZing yourself...

Click to expand...

This is Gold right here...I find myself in this situation A Lot!!!!!! between friends or strangers. It's like i notice it so much now that I don't even compete I just say what I want to say and that's it. I almost laugh, and they look at me wondering what is so funny...

Too true, you look like a baffoon trying to peacock or out Alpha another dude trying to talk to one girl.

If you want the girl def do it one on one...I like this one

women haze said:

It's like i notice it so much now that I don't even compete I just say what I want to say and that's it. I almost laugh, and they look at me wondering what is so funny...

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The power of observation and knowing wtf is going on is quite something. It's like seeing The Matrix raw.

Allow yourself to fail...

This is something that I thought about the other day and I finally condensed it enough to where it was worth posting.

"Allow yourself to fail" & "Allow yourself to hurt"

Now before y'all go bonkers on me, let me explain. Back in my AFC days, I was afraid of pain and failure. I was terrified of taking chances (especially with girls) due to the fear of failing and the emotional pain that I would feel afterwards. Rejection was like the death sentence.

But then I had an epiphany: rejection by a woman, although it caused me temporary pain at the time, was actually a blessing in disguise. Though I may have been attracted to her, she was not attracted to me and therefore any further interactions between us were to be a complete waste of time, money and effort.

So after one rejected me, I just talked to another. And another. And another. This became particularly handy when it came to developing my conversation skills and wit. After talking to so many girls, it eventually became "no big deal" talking with them and closing them. Sure, many declined. But many others played.

And the rest, like they say, is history.