Vatoloco's Observation Log

I've been meaning to start this but I always get sidetracked or forget about it. Yesterday I noticed a very interesting situation which reminded me that I had forgotten to get this thing going.

Anyway, throughout my travels in this wonderful journey called Life, I have learned many things. One of the most powerful ones is Observation. I have learned to observe situations, analyze them and to quickly assess things based on them. "People watching" has been particularly enjoyable. It gives me a nice little insight into a person's character. Of course, this is all just "voodoo" since it's not scientifically-backed but hey, while I may not have a PhD, I have a top-honors degree from the Vatoloco's Barrio School of Hard Knocks.

Anyway, here in this thread I will be documenting some of the observations I think are worth sharing with the community for the sake of learning. There will be laughs. There will be tears. There will be sadness and sometimes even anger. But there will also be stories of goodness and triumph. But they will all have something in common: something you can learn. Of course, they will just be my opinions. Take what you read with a grain of salt and reach your own conclusions and assessments.

More importantly, learn to be an Observer yourself. Watch people's interactions with others and the world around them. Especially, watch couples and try to assess the state of their relationships. Who has the higher IL? Does it look like a healthy relationship? Could it be an abusive one? What about the [dis]parity between looks? Physical attributes. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

Back to the topic at hand. I've witnessed many interactions. Some I have mentioned already. Others that I remember I will post. But today I will post yesterday's. Alright, here we go...

"Duh!"

Here in town we have this fast food place where you make your order, pay and get a little tent with a number associated with your order. You then place your little tent on the table where you're sitting. When your order is ready, an employee will come to your table and give you your order, as well as offer condiments/napkins/etc.

Yesterday I'm eating lunch at this place and I notice this group of 4 women. They were wearing smocks so they were probably nurses from one of the nearby hospitals.

Anyway, I notice two of them in particular. One was a 6, about 5'7". A little more "junk in the trunk" than I care for. She was being obnoxiously loud on her cellphone. The other one was UG2, short (maybe around 5'1") and fat. They are waiting for their orders and they finally arrive but the UG2 was being a bitch about it (it was lunchtime and the place was packed).

The employeed delivering the meals asks "Would you like some ketchup, ma'am?" and she comes back with "Duh!" in the most sarcastic tone I have ever heard. She asks him for something (no use of the word "please" -- I think it was some kind of cutlery that she needed) and the guy goes, gets it and gives it to her. The girl does not even look him in the eye or thank him. She just keeps yapping away with her group of friends.

Lessons to be learned:

• Any plate that you're spinning should be corteous towards other people and have good manners. It shows good character. If she's rude (or, like in this scenario, a fucking bitch), cut her from your life. She will bring no good things to it.
• She should also be in good company. If the people that she hangs out with are rude, mean, obnoxious, etc., it's very likely that she will also share those negative traits.
• Beware of women go through Life with a chip on their shoulder and/or are frequently angry. Would you rather be with a fun girl or with an angry girl?
• Get educated so that you don't have to work at a fast food joint (or at least not forever ), having to put up with bullshit from low-quality women, like this lovely specimen turned out to be.

I like this LOL!!! keep them coming I notice the same stuff you do. It is good to be as observant as possible, a very good skill to learn.

Get educated so that you don't have to work at a fast food joint (or at least not forever ), having to put up with bull**** from low-quality women, like this lovely specimen turned out to be.

This is especially important...People are rude, crude and socially unexceptable you don't want a woman like that.

"Do you need any help?"

This morning I'm in my office when I notice that one of the women who work here took it upon herself to vacuum (which is very commendable -- it's not part of her job duties). So she's vacuuming, when another person comes in (one of the many AFCs who work here). He asks her "Do you need any help?" and the woman says "Sure."

He starts helping her by moving some chairs out of the way but eventually ends up doing the vacuuming himself, while the woman just leaves and lets him do the work.

Lessons to be learned:

• Don't be a chump. Don't go out of your way to be nice to people. You will be taken advantage of. I go through Life doing no evil but I'm definitely not a Good Samaritan.
• Most women, if given the opportunity, will take advantage of you and will try to milk you for as much as they can. Be aware!

Vato, I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to add one of my own:

This morning, I was working with a "client". He is working on some financial assets, and I was helping out, when he receives a phone call from his daughter. He excuses himself because he thinks it might be important. He accepts the call and it goes to speakerphone.

His daughter is going off on him.

"Daddy, I'm at a bank with the check you gave me for my car and they won't cash it for me because you wrote the lettered numbers wrong. You wrote FORTY NINE instead of FORTY NINE HUNDRED."

The man apologizes, stating he was just side tracked and that she should come over to where we are so he can correct the check.

"Daddy, why can't you come over here?"

He explains that he's in the middle of an important meeting, but if that she comes to him, that he will fix it in less than a minute.

"Oh Daddy, you're completely ruining my day FFS"



She actually SAID: For fvck's sake.

He hung up on her and excused himself to me, saying that he didn't know it would go to Speaker. She tried calling back a few times and he finally turned the phone off.


Observation:
Watch how they treat their parents. He was doing her a favor by giving her money for a car, and all she could think of was how his mistake ruined HER day. If they treat their parents like crap when the parents are doing them a favor... imagine how they'll treat you.

Kailex said:

Vato, I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to add one of my own:

Click to expand...

No prob man. If it's a good lesson, I'm all up for it. Thanks!

"Here's my jacket..."

Although my office is a nice corner office with a nice big window that let's me see lots of things going on around here, unfortunately it has no view of the outside. So, from time to time, I'll step out and walk around 50 feet (it feels nice -- I work at my computer most of the time) into a room that has a nice view of my work's campus. I also like to actually step out of the building and take a walk around the campus but, that's another story...

Anyway, a few minutes ago, while looking out this window I witnessed a very interesting interaction between a couple. Now I don't know if they were dating, exclusive, or just plain co-workers from a different department. What I do know is that the guy knew what he was doing. Either naturally or via training. With that in mind, here it is:

I see this couple emerging from another building, facing me as they walk. The guy (maybe around 5'8" -- it's hard to judge height from a distance) was in shape. Slim but you could tell he was lean as opposed to frail. Good dresser; casual style. If I was a girl, I'd rate him an 8. Walking next to him was a very nice-looking woman (slightly taller than him -- she was wearing high-heeled boots). Nice, proportionate body. Sharp dresser; business style. I couldn't assess her face very well but, she was at least a HB8. Maybe a HB9 if her face were to be very cute/pretty.

Anyway, they make a right turn to walk along a sidewalk and I notice the guy's body language. He's nonchalantly walking, about a foot ahead of her, obviously knowing he's the man. The girl, again, about a foot behind him, is all smiles, reaching out to touch him several times. Her IL is obviously higher.

Today is a little breezy so it feels a little cooler. The guy either notices this or the girl mentions something (I couldn't tell since I couldn't hear them) and he proceeds to take off the light jacket he was wearing. Now, the untrained eye would have just noticed "Wow, he's being a gentleman." Which is true. And you should be one. However, like they say, "The Devil's In The Details..."

He took off his jacket but he only gave it to her. He did not put it on her. He had her put it on herself. This tells me that this guy knows what he's doing. Again, either naturally or by training. By doing this, he let her know that he is indeed a gentleman but that she also has to do some work in the process. "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch," they say...

Shortly after this they go out of my field of view so I couldn't see any further interactions between them.

Lessons to be learned:

• It's ALWAYS better if the kitties come to you. ALWAYS. Even if your IL in them is higher than theirs in you, you must force yourself to get your IL lower. All woman have flaws. Make sure to remind yourself that the woman you're with is not perfect.
• Be a Man. And by this I mean a combination of being a gentleman, bad boy and "Knight in Shining Armor," without being an AFC, or worse, a fucking chump. You need to strike that perfect balance. If you're not a natural, it will take practice/work. But it is achievable...
• Make her work for things. She will respect you if she has to earn you and your attention. Even if you're generous, make sure to ask yourself, "has she really earned this yet?"
• Be a sharp dresser. Although this guy's style was casual (jacket, t-shirt, jeans and shoes) they all matched very well. Preferably, be slightly overdressed. I have a unique style (I'll talk about it on another thread I guess) but I almost always have a jacket/sportscoat on. It has come on very handy for those chilly resturants, movie theaters, etc.

Now I'm gonna have to find an excuse to go to that building and "accidentally" run into this HB8+...

Kailex said:

Vato, I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to add one of my own:

This morning, I was working with a "client". He is working on some financial assets, and I was helping out, when he receives a phone call from his daughter. He excuses himself because he thinks it might be important. He accepts the call and it goes to speakerphone.

His daughter is going off on him.

"Daddy, I'm at a bank with the check you gave me for my car and they won't cash it for me because you wrote the lettered numbers wrong. You wrote FORTY NINE instead of FORTY NINE HUNDRED."

The man apologizes, stating he was just side tracked and that she should come over to where we are so he can correct the check.

"Daddy, why can't you come over here?"

He explains that he's in the middle of an important meeting, but if that she comes to him, that he will fix it in less than a minute.

"Oh Daddy, you're completely ruining my day FFS"



She actually SAID: For fvck's sake.

He hung up on her and excused himself to me, saying that he didn't know it would go to Speaker. She tried calling back a few times and he finally turned the phone off.


Observation:
Watch how they treat their parents. He was doing her a favor by giving her money for a car, and all she could think of was how his mistake ruined HER day. If they treat their parents like crap when the parents are doing them a favor... imagine how they'll treat you.

Click to expand...

AW HELL NAW!! That is the product of a spoiled Me Me Me generation right there. I remember if i would have said something like that to my parents It would have been an opps upside yo head moment.

If I was that chick's Father I would have put her in her place Right on the spot.........WTF. that makes ME mad hahahha

vatoloco said:

Lessons to be learned:

• Don't be a chump. Don't go out of your way to be nice to people. You will be taken advantage of. I go through Life doing no evil but I'm definitely not a Good Samaritan.
• Most women, if given the opportunity, will take advantage of you and will try to milk you for as much as they can. Be aware!

Click to expand...

Good stuff

"That better be some delicious pie!"

I'm now gonna make this an experience log as well. I've had several experiences recently that I think are note-worthy...

Last week I was at one of my local warehouse clubs buying several things for Thanksgiving dinner as my family and friends were coming over. I was ready to pay so I headed towards the cashiers. Since I was in kind of a hurry, I picked the shortest one (as opposed to the one with the cutest cashier -- I'm a big advocate of talking to as many women as possible and I specially enjoy flirting with the cute ones )

Unfortunately the one I got was a 4 at best (and she was overweight) so definitely no interest on my part but I could tell by her BL that she liked what she saw. So I go with it and start messing with her. Either due to her accent or me not paying attention, I heard her say "It's four-hundred and sixty-three cents." So I think to myself "WTF? There's something wrong!" but instead of protesting like any other person would do, I came back with "Four-hundred!? That better be some delicious pie!", making a huge deal (of course, in a joking way).

She LOLs and joins in "There's little gold pieces in those pies; that's why they're so expensive!" It turns out, however, that she said "one-hundred and sixty-three cents" and I misheard. We both have a good laugh and I then proceeded to pay.

Lessons to be learned:

• Always talk with women. It doesn't matter if you find them attractive or not. It's good practice to talk to women. It gets you used to and comfortable talking to all kinds of women.
• In order to develop some good wit, you need practice. See above.
• Be a positive person. Spin things around you so that they're non-negative if you can. Extra points if you can get a funny out of a bad situation!

"Sweetheart, that's classified information!"

So this same Thanksgiving weekend I'm spending some time with some friends and all of a sudden I get a call from a number I didn't recognize but decided to go ahead and pick up. Here's the convo:

Me: "Hello?"
Her: "Vato?

[it's female voice so I go into my playful mode]

Me: "Yeeess?"
Her: "This isn't Vato!"
Me: "Yes it is!" [still keeping it playful]
Her: "OMG! I dialed the wrong number! It's [her name]"
Me: "Well hello there [her name]. Where do I know you from?"

[hey, I figured that if she had my number and knew my name, I had interacted with her before]

Her: "It's me, [her name]!"
Me: "Errr, which [her name] are you?"

[she gets aggravated, comes back with:]

Her: "I'm the prettiest [her name] you know!"
Me: "Hahaha! I know several pretty [her name]s! You're gonna have to be more specific than that!"

[now she's pissed!]

Her: "Well just how many [her name]s do you know!?"
Me: "Hahaha! Sweetheart, that's classified information!"

She finally caves in and tells me she is this girl I went out with last year (and who LJBFed me, btw). Supposedly she was trying to call her brother (who apparently shares the same name as me) but instead dialed me.

Me: "Sure! Whatever you have to tell yourself! You just wanted to hear my sweet voice, didn't you?" [still keeping it playful]
Her: "N-no, I meant to call my brother. I'll call you right back."
Me: "Sure thing sweetheart!"

I hang up. Ten minutes later, she calls back. Apparently she was in town for the holiday, blah, blah. I had no interest in talking with her so...

Me: "Hey listen, I'm here with my friends so I'm gonna have to let you go. We'll talk some other time" [of course, I have no intention of doing so]

Lessons to be learned:

• Women who priorly dumped/rejected/LJBFed you may try to keep you as an orbiter. It is your job to let them indirectly know that you're not interested in the position.
• Don't let women get to you and break you. Women will try to break you into falling into their frame. Realize what's happening and act accordingly. The best strategy for this is indifference and humor. Learn them. Live them. Love them.
• No contact is the best course of action with a woman who has low IL and/or has rejected you. I didn't know who this girl was until after she told me who she was. She didn't like the fact that I didn't know who she was!

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:

vatoloco said:

Women who priorly dumped/rejected/LJBFed you may try to keep you as an orbiter. It is your job to let them indirectly know that you're not interested in the position.

Click to expand...

How does one INDIRECTLY do this?

Click to expand...

Others may have different methods but, the way I do it is by basically playing the same game as she.

As a prospective orbiter, she's gonna try to feed me the standard lines (usually via text):

"Hey, how've you been? We haven't talked in a long time!"
"Hey, I miss you!"
"Hey handsome, what u doin?"

If they're via text, I either don't respond or respond much, much later and with a funny or with a misleading response. I usually have no idea who they are (since I delete numbers of girls who don't dig me) so my infallible text is usually my reply. However, since they're usually mass texts sent to legions of current and prospective orbiters, they never contain individualized and/or identifying info so I usually don't bother...

If they're via the phone, like with the situation described earlier, I just go into funny mode, mislead them and/or cut them off.

In either case, I play their same game. I'm like, "Yeah, we'll totally get together. I'll call you!" and never do. "Hey, listen, I'm really busy right now. Can I call you back? I really want to talk to you!" and don't call back, etc. Eventually they get the hint and stop contacting me. Of course, if they're dumb, I just keep getting my kicks out of the whole situation!

Never call her out on the fact that she's trying to keep you as an orbiter. If you do, she'll just deny it, play dumb, etc. She might even try to get you to argue with her just to get her kicks (you know, as in getting an emotional response out of you, just to satisfy her perverse need of "emotions.")

But of course, since you're a DJ, you never argue with a woman.

Be careful what you say... and who you say it to!

Yesterday I brought lunch so I went to eat it in the Break Room we have here at work. A woman I work with was there, chatting with her gay friend from another department.

They're having their conversation and something they mention catches my interest (unfortunately I can't say what it is because it was a very unique thing and I don't want it to be findable via an online search -- it had to do with attraction towards a man). I politely interrupt them and ask my particular inquiry, and the guy gives me a very interesting answer.

Anyway, I thank them for their time and continue my lunch. Well, it seems like somehow I inadvertently became part of the "people who are okay to hear this" group while I was just sitting there. You could not believe the things that they were sharing with an almost complete stranger (me)! You think WikiLeaks is bad!? Try a woman and her gay friend!

Lessons to be learned:

• Be very careful about what you say, and especially who is around when you say it. You never know when it could come back to bite you in the ass or a random stranger finding out some of your darkest, most embarrassing secrets.
• You know that "You're on a need-to-know basis" phrase from that movie? Use it. Especially with women. If it ain't gonna help you or it's not critical for them to know, keep you freaking mouth shut.

Be distinctive...

A couple of days ago a guy I work with gave me an invitation to his graduation. A couple of months ago he told me that he found my style quite interesting, which he coined with a very unique term. (Unfortunately I can't say what it is because 1. I'm thinking of trademarking it and 2. I don't want it to be searchable.) It's a combination of badboy looks with the formality of a professional work environment.

I suspect the guys is bi because even though he says he likes girls, my gaydar goes off with him and he has girly mannerisms. Also, last year, I ran into this other girl I worked with who told me that all the girls at work thought I had a girlfriend because I'm always sharply dressed. Unfortunately, she is a 4 and with a little more junk in the trunk than I like.

The guy's invitation, with key information censored to protect the [not so] innocent:
http://www.imagewaste.com/pictures/1182124/IMAG1283.jpg

Lessons to be learned:

• Be distinctive. Now, I don't mean that "retarded peacocking" (you know, wearing stupid silly hats and shit). Have something about you that sets you apart from everyone else. Develop a cool sense of style for yourself. Work at place where everyone's in jeans and t-shirts? Step it up a notch by wearing a nice polo or throwing a light jacket from time to time. Trust me, women will notice.

"Yes we do!"

I stepped out to lunch today. It's a gorgeous day (upper 60s/low 70s, sunny with no wind) and there was no way I was gonna stay indoors. Rode my bike to Jack-in-the-Box and since I hadn't been there in a while, I didn't know if they had their Big Chicken combo still as they didn't have a sign for it anymore.

I ask the lady at the register:

Me: "Hi. [with a nice smile] Do you guys still have that Big Chicken combo?"
Lady: "Yes we do!"
Me: "For the same price you guys had it?" (Hey, it's $3.99 for a nice little meal!)
Lady: "Yep. We don't advertise it anymore because it's going away in a couple of weeks..."
Me: "Ah, okay. I'll have it please."

Lessons to be learned:

• Always Close. You want something? Ask for it? What's the worst that can happen? They'll say "No." They're not gonna shoot you. Like that girl? Go up to her and talk to her. If there's enough rapport, NUMBER CLOSE.
• Try to be polite and cheerful. Like I recently mentioned in one of my replies in MM, "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." You want people to be polite, respectful and cheerful towards you? Start by being polite, respectful and cheerful yourself towards others.

"Hey, it's like that anime sh!t you like!"

At this same JITB, I'm eating my meal when a trio a kids show up. 2 guys and a girl. Probably high school kids. The girl is a looker (HB8, nicely dressed) but the two guys she's with are not (below average, sloppy dressed). They about 20ft in front of me in an area that has bar-style seating so they all sit in a row. The girl in the middle with the two guys at her sides.

She obviously knew who was in charge here. She dominated the conversation and even took jabs at comments the guys were making. One of the dudes was trying to impress her with a story about some Japanese General challenging Chinese martial artists back in the day or something when the girl puts him down "Hey, it's like that anime shit you like!" And the guy just took it!! He didn't have a snappy come back or at least a complaint. He just sat there with a "Yeah, I know..." look. Fuck!! Kids, grow some balls!!

I wouldn't be surprised if she was just using these two stooges for a free ride/meal. Plus their body language! God! She was sitting straight up and the two guys were pointing their bodies towards her, with their torsos humped towards her. It was almost perfectly symmetrical!! "Please love me. Please give me attention!" they were saying with their bodies...

Lessons to be learned:

• Don't just take it! If a woman is disrespecting you, don't take it. Preferably have a witty/funny comeback. Walk away or at the very least, let her know that she's disrespecting you (though this is not advisable in a romantic relationship).
• Don't be a chump. This girl more than likely got free lunch and a ride in exchange for letting these two chumps be in her presence. Don't ever, EVER try to buy someone's attention/love.
• Even if you find a woman to be hot, don't express it. Hide your interest. Control your body language.

Trent, Sue and Rob...

So the past weekend I re-watched Swingers. I hadn't seen that movie in more than 10 years (it was during my AFC years that I saw it). Seeing it again now with new eyes was quite interesting. Mikey, the AFC with a severe case of oneitis, reminds me of a lot of the situations that we see here on SS.

What made me make this post though was the thought, "Hey, guys should try to be a combination of Trent, Sue and Rob!" Rob's cool, calm demeanor would be great with sporadic use of Trent's flamboyant personality and add a slight sprinkle of rash behavior from Sue.

If you're a recovering AFC (and for those of us who know the game already), watch this movie. Especially if you've been recently dumped and have oneitist. This is my favorite scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8slB-mYCPw

"Fucking money baby!"

Lessons to be learned:

• This too shall pass. Sure, it hurts right now but, eventually, you will forget her (or at least the pain will stop.) Like Rob says, "you wake up everyday and it hurts a little bit less; and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all."
• Even if you don't want to, force yourself to go out. If Mikey hadn't gone out with his friends, he wouldn't have met that hottie Lorraine.
• Don't make her your psychiatrist. See Mikey at the beginning of the movie talking to all the girls he meets about the girl who dumped him back in NY? Don't do that. If you do, all you're gonna generate in girls are feelings of empathy and friendship. Don't FZ yourself!!
• Be a Man. [I posted this one earlier] Be a combination of Trent, Sue and Rob. Be in control of your actions and emotions (like Rob) but also have an outgoing personality (like Trent) and from time to time, do something crazy (like Sue).

vatoloco said:

...Especially, watch couples and try to assess the state of their relationships. Who has the higher IL?...

Click to expand...

Gee, I wonder who dropped who in this case? Hint is in the pic.

Bonus points if you recognize the subtly misleading man-bashing in the headline...

Funny story I thought would go well here.

Was at a party this weekend and as usual not a great girl to guy ratio, but after a few hours after some people had left it got to the point where almost every decent looking girl had 2, 3 and sometimes 4 guys hitting on her at once. It was pathetic. Guys were forming like a semi-circle around a girl.

This one girl was with this two guys who were both clearly into her and both establishing kino. She was clearly loving it. The next time I walk by them I see her making out with one of the guys only to switch to the next one a moment later. She kept switching back and forth and both guys just stood equally close to her waiting for their turn to be kissed.

The girl, having already received more than enough attention for the day, clearly wanted to see if she could get the guys to be put up with messed up **** like this. I didn't see how it ended, but i wouldn't be too surprised if swords were crossed that night haha.

If I was one of those guys I would have pulled her away from the other guy. If she insisted on being with both of us I would have told her to go f-herself and walk away. Both these guys came off looking like complete idiots and were totally emasculated. Sad thing is the girl wasn't even that hot. AFC behavior if I've ever seen it.

Oh and i don't think the guys were bi-sexual, because they didn't make out with each other.

Kenny Powers said:

This one girl was with this two guys who were both clearly into her and both establishing kino. She was clearly loving it. The next time I walk by them I see her making out with one of the guys only to switch to the next one a moment later. She kept switching back and forth and both guys just stood equally close to her waiting for their turn to be kissed.

Click to expand...

Ha! Now THAT is seriously messed up! I guess any attention from a girl (even if it is shared) is better than no attention for some guys. Personally, I would never put up with this. Approach, isolate, escalate, close. If I can't achieve (or she won't cooperate with) isolation, then I move on to greener pastures.

The girl, having already received more than enough attention for the day, clearly wanted to see if she could get the guys to be put up with messed up **** like this. I didn't see how it ended, but i wouldn't be too surprised if swords were crossed that night haha.

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Hahaha! Maybe she's into threesomes and got some nice DP'ing.

I guess if you could learn something from this, it would be:

• Don't delude yourself into thinking she's only seeing you. Any girl you are dating (and especially if she's attractive) is more than likely seeing other guys. She spins plates. So should you.