Diaforetikos
Senior Don Juan
I was lost. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I could get the number no problem. I could get the laughs, no problem. I just couldn't keep the attraction. What wasn't I doing?
I wasn't BEING SEXUAL.
I've been on this forum for a while now. I have read the DJ Bible all the way through and have read many of the articles multiple times, but I have yet to see one on being sexual in general.
How do you express being sexual?
Being sexual uses many things that are thoroughly taught on this forum. Its kino, being direct, being witty, and open about your sexuality and a few others. But what seems to be the majority of the problems faced in the constant threads that I read is that they don't know how to use all these things at once in order to gain the outcome they desire. But the biggest thing I notice where guys fall short is tonality.
Being sexual sets the agenda for your interaction with women. It creates the atmosphere and informs your target of your intentions. But how do you express this?
One of the first things I noticed when I was trying to be sexual with women is that I found myself telling myself that being sexual "wasn't me." That was bull. I just didn't know how to do it properly. I thought I sounded stupid trying to speak smooth and ****y, which I did sound stupid... At first. But it grew on me.
I had to practice. I had to let being sexual become who I was. I had to be congruent with what I was trying to express. Because if I wasn't, women could tell how fake I was from a mile away. I inserted this mindset deep into my brain. I would wake up, read the DJ Bible and the meditate on being sexual. That was my first step. But not my biggest.
Express your sexual side with TONALITY
Saying the same sentence two different ways can change how a conversation carries on. It can make someone angry or smile. This variation in your voice is called your tone.
The tone is in your voice. You control how the words you say are delivered to someone. That is why it is important to master your tonality. Constantly being funny without changing your tone to a seductive voice will leave you looking like a clown. Your funny, but no one takes you seriously. But if you say the same jokes then slowly toss in a sexual tone, women will laugh at your jokes but will also see your intentions.
I am stressing tonality a lot because it is really important. Just watch a movie and see how they change their tone based on the situation. The easiest movies to NOTICE change in tone are usually comedies. But to see an experienced master of tonality, watch any and all James Bond flicks. Women easily pick up on his sexual vibe, but his tone solidifies what he is trying to express.
Now on to other aspects of being sexual...
Kino
Kino has been edified on this forum enough on this forum so I won't be going into much detail on the topic.
Kino is powerful, especially as you increase your escalation with it. It notifies women that it is ok to touch. It opens the comfort gates and diminishes the fact that it is a "big deal."
To kino properly, learn to escalate properly. The DJ Bible breaks this down pretty well so use the search button.
Being open about SEXUAL TOPICS
Talk about sex. Ask her questions that others may be ashamed to ask. Show her that it's not a big deal to you.
This sets the atmosphere between you too. You are implanting the idea that you and sex go hand in hand.
Now I'm not saying constantly talk about sex. Ease in and out of the topics that go hand in hand with sex i.e.: kissing, massages, panties, and things of that nature. I'm also not saying jump into sex topics without getting her comfortable with you. Build that rapport first!!
WIT and HUMOR go hand in hand.
Learning to get people to laugh is such a powerful tool in your arsenal. Learning to get people to laugh at any given moment is pure GOLD!
Being witty takes time to learn. Some have a natural nack for it. Some have to learn it. Everyone is different. Not everyone is funny, so don't force it. If its in-congruent for you, learn just enough to be able to establish a few laughs. Don't become someone you aren't. It backfires.
I personally grew up around funny people and I had a constant desire to be the funniest in school, starting as early as fourth grade. I didn't go to extreme lengths to prove my humor. I just learned to say the right things at the right time. I watch a lot of stand-up and I put myself around funny people. I mimic what they do and say. I learned most of my tonality from learning to be witty and humorous as well.
Getting a women to laugh with your wit and charm ignites attraction and helps keep it burning during the interaction. It shows your are easy going and fun.
Heres an example of how powerful it is:
Just got out of a club. It was me and my four friends, two guys and two girls. The girls were just tag along's. One of the girls was a new addition to our group. She didn't know how us three guys acted. So I wanted to show her. I timed my jokes based on what everyone else said. My two male friends were trying hard to be funny, while I waited and landed the funnier of the jokes. I was consistent. By the end of the night I had her in tears. As soon as she was able to speak, she looked at me and said, "Your my favorite."
Learn humor and wit. Period.
Last on my list of BEING SEXUAL is...
Being DIRECT
I'm not talking about direct approaches. I'm talking about being direct within your interactions with women.
Learn to say what you want without beating around the bush. I'm not saying jump out and say, "I want sex now" all the time. Thats stupid. Don't do that.
You just want to express what you want in certain situations. Being direct is all about timing. If the mood isn't right, don't say things that you may regret.
If you are felling a vibe from her while talking about sex, move close to her ear and whisper that you want to do to her. She'll like it if you've done what you were supposed to do.
Being direct isn't as hard to learn as the other topics I've stated due to the fact that we are men. We get what we want, when we want it. We don't like to bullsh!t. Its a waste of time. We like for women to know what we want sometimes without having to play games in order to get it. It's in our nature. Some men are more aggressive than others, so they feel stronger about this than others do, but men in general don't constantly want to play games. When the time is right, we say, "ENOUGH!" Its not time to reap what we have sown.
Its ok to be direct sometimes.
----------------------------------------------
Now put all these together in your interactions with women you are trying to game. Let them know what you want by using these tools. With practice, you will see your results improve.
I hope this has helped you guys some. I was lost for a long time until I watched a couple movies, and learned from experience. I just want you guys to not have to waste as much time figuring out what is already obvious. Also, if any of you guys have any words to add, things you feel need correcting, or just don't agree at all with what was said here, please reply. I want to make sure everyone is getting accurate information that will benefit all of us.
Now get out there and put in work. Practice. Let this become your new mindset. Meditate (think about this topic very deeply) on this daily. Make it a part of you. Then reap the rewards.
SURGE ON!
-Diaforetikos
I wasn't BEING SEXUAL.
I've been on this forum for a while now. I have read the DJ Bible all the way through and have read many of the articles multiple times, but I have yet to see one on being sexual in general.
How do you express being sexual?
Being sexual uses many things that are thoroughly taught on this forum. Its kino, being direct, being witty, and open about your sexuality and a few others. But what seems to be the majority of the problems faced in the constant threads that I read is that they don't know how to use all these things at once in order to gain the outcome they desire. But the biggest thing I notice where guys fall short is tonality.
Being sexual sets the agenda for your interaction with women. It creates the atmosphere and informs your target of your intentions. But how do you express this?
One of the first things I noticed when I was trying to be sexual with women is that I found myself telling myself that being sexual "wasn't me." That was bull. I just didn't know how to do it properly. I thought I sounded stupid trying to speak smooth and ****y, which I did sound stupid... At first. But it grew on me.
I had to practice. I had to let being sexual become who I was. I had to be congruent with what I was trying to express. Because if I wasn't, women could tell how fake I was from a mile away. I inserted this mindset deep into my brain. I would wake up, read the DJ Bible and the meditate on being sexual. That was my first step. But not my biggest.
Express your sexual side with TONALITY
Saying the same sentence two different ways can change how a conversation carries on. It can make someone angry or smile. This variation in your voice is called your tone.
The tone is in your voice. You control how the words you say are delivered to someone. That is why it is important to master your tonality. Constantly being funny without changing your tone to a seductive voice will leave you looking like a clown. Your funny, but no one takes you seriously. But if you say the same jokes then slowly toss in a sexual tone, women will laugh at your jokes but will also see your intentions.
I am stressing tonality a lot because it is really important. Just watch a movie and see how they change their tone based on the situation. The easiest movies to NOTICE change in tone are usually comedies. But to see an experienced master of tonality, watch any and all James Bond flicks. Women easily pick up on his sexual vibe, but his tone solidifies what he is trying to express.
Now on to other aspects of being sexual...
Kino
Kino has been edified on this forum enough on this forum so I won't be going into much detail on the topic.
Kino is powerful, especially as you increase your escalation with it. It notifies women that it is ok to touch. It opens the comfort gates and diminishes the fact that it is a "big deal."
To kino properly, learn to escalate properly. The DJ Bible breaks this down pretty well so use the search button.
Being open about SEXUAL TOPICS
Talk about sex. Ask her questions that others may be ashamed to ask. Show her that it's not a big deal to you.
This sets the atmosphere between you too. You are implanting the idea that you and sex go hand in hand.
Now I'm not saying constantly talk about sex. Ease in and out of the topics that go hand in hand with sex i.e.: kissing, massages, panties, and things of that nature. I'm also not saying jump into sex topics without getting her comfortable with you. Build that rapport first!!
WIT and HUMOR go hand in hand.
Learning to get people to laugh is such a powerful tool in your arsenal. Learning to get people to laugh at any given moment is pure GOLD!
Being witty takes time to learn. Some have a natural nack for it. Some have to learn it. Everyone is different. Not everyone is funny, so don't force it. If its in-congruent for you, learn just enough to be able to establish a few laughs. Don't become someone you aren't. It backfires.
I personally grew up around funny people and I had a constant desire to be the funniest in school, starting as early as fourth grade. I didn't go to extreme lengths to prove my humor. I just learned to say the right things at the right time. I watch a lot of stand-up and I put myself around funny people. I mimic what they do and say. I learned most of my tonality from learning to be witty and humorous as well.
Getting a women to laugh with your wit and charm ignites attraction and helps keep it burning during the interaction. It shows your are easy going and fun.
Heres an example of how powerful it is:
Just got out of a club. It was me and my four friends, two guys and two girls. The girls were just tag along's. One of the girls was a new addition to our group. She didn't know how us three guys acted. So I wanted to show her. I timed my jokes based on what everyone else said. My two male friends were trying hard to be funny, while I waited and landed the funnier of the jokes. I was consistent. By the end of the night I had her in tears. As soon as she was able to speak, she looked at me and said, "Your my favorite."
Learn humor and wit. Period.
Last on my list of BEING SEXUAL is...
Being DIRECT
I'm not talking about direct approaches. I'm talking about being direct within your interactions with women.
Learn to say what you want without beating around the bush. I'm not saying jump out and say, "I want sex now" all the time. Thats stupid. Don't do that.
You just want to express what you want in certain situations. Being direct is all about timing. If the mood isn't right, don't say things that you may regret.
If you are felling a vibe from her while talking about sex, move close to her ear and whisper that you want to do to her. She'll like it if you've done what you were supposed to do.
Being direct isn't as hard to learn as the other topics I've stated due to the fact that we are men. We get what we want, when we want it. We don't like to bullsh!t. Its a waste of time. We like for women to know what we want sometimes without having to play games in order to get it. It's in our nature. Some men are more aggressive than others, so they feel stronger about this than others do, but men in general don't constantly want to play games. When the time is right, we say, "ENOUGH!" Its not time to reap what we have sown.
Its ok to be direct sometimes.
----------------------------------------------
Now put all these together in your interactions with women you are trying to game. Let them know what you want by using these tools. With practice, you will see your results improve.
I hope this has helped you guys some. I was lost for a long time until I watched a couple movies, and learned from experience. I just want you guys to not have to waste as much time figuring out what is already obvious. Also, if any of you guys have any words to add, things you feel need correcting, or just don't agree at all with what was said here, please reply. I want to make sure everyone is getting accurate information that will benefit all of us.
Now get out there and put in work. Practice. Let this become your new mindset. Meditate (think about this topic very deeply) on this daily. Make it a part of you. Then reap the rewards.
SURGE ON!
-Diaforetikos
