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Old 04-21-2010, 07:45 PM   #1
tebow1120
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Why dont women like clingy men.

Find myself asking why women hate men who show that they really like a girl..I mean you would think women would love a man that expresses his feelings too her and he is not playing games with her..but I guess thats not the case because if a woman thinks your clingy or anything like that she will next your ass quick..I ask 1 of my friends thats a girl why are women like this..she says because its a power thing and when women know they have the power they dont want you..she says most girls will chase a guy that shows little to no interest in them then the woman will be hooked on you.

What do you guys think about this?
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Old 04-21-2010, 07:55 PM   #2
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This is especially true in the United States, and Western world. But, affection and attention are valued in other cultures by women.
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Old 04-21-2010, 08:03 PM   #3
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There are several reasons why being clingy is bad. The primary one to be concerned with is that you aren't being your own man anymore. When you're a clingy individual (girl or guy) you've put someone before yourself which is a fatal mistake. When that happens you've essentially volunteered to be a slave and that is about as unattractive as it gets. There are few people looking for relationships with slaves. Instead, most of us want partners. A partner will collaborate with you but still has a life independent of yours. They will do things for you but don't seek attention from you all the time. A slave will wear on your psyche quickly because they infringe on your personal space 24/7 while a partner goes out of their way to understand your tendencies and knows when to give you space.

This is why a lot of people in LTR's will have a guys/girls night out to get away from their significant others. It's healthy for people in relationships to maintain some form of life outside of their relationships. If you're too clingy and your only goal is to spend time with your significant other sooner or later, the other person goes nuts. Hope that clears the issue up a bit.
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Old 04-21-2010, 08:08 PM   #4
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Its not that complicated. We do the same thing.

You're telling me the second you think you 'have' a girl, her stock doesn't drop at all?

Once you know you have something and get it whenever, its value starts to drop. An AFC being clingy is like that times 10. Though there do seem to be exceptions.
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Old 04-21-2010, 08:20 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcon25
This is especially true in the United States, and Western world. But, affection and attention are valued in other cultures by women.
Correct. You have to be mindful of the traits of the women where you live. One fact that is universal is that women in general no matter where they grew up in they all love a masculine man that does his own thing, and puts himself above her and every other woman.

Women only want equality in the workplace but not when it comes to relationships. They want a man that will lead and will treat her as #2. They want a leader not a follower.
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Old 04-21-2010, 08:47 PM   #6
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Ok I get what some of you guys are saying but I think women confused nice and being clingy sometimes..just because a guy wants too show he is different and wants too actually treat a woman good doesn't mean he is obsessed with her..women complain all the time how there are no more good men anymore but when they finally meet one they find excuses not to like him..I mean look at this guys women love chick flicks and what are most chicks about..there usally about a guy who meets a girl walking outside who he has never met before and tells her she is wonderful and I will treat you like a queen and the women falls in love with him..Women love that **** but when it actually happens to them they find it creepy and next you.
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Old 04-21-2010, 09:09 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tebow1120
Find myself asking why women hate men who show that they really like a girl..I mean you would think women would love a man that expresses his feelings too her and he is not playing games with her..but I guess thats not the case because if a woman thinks your clingy or anything like that she will next your ass quick..I ask 1 of my friends thats a girl why are women like this..she says because its a power thing and when women know they have the power they dont want you..she says most girls will chase a guy that shows little to no interest in them then the woman will be hooked on you.

What do you guys think about this?

For one thing, it's rare to see a girl express this sentiment in such a clear and honest manner.

They would make up some dribble about being 'independent and strong.'

This is one of those simple threads that could be destined for the Bible, for the fact that it contains the fundamental rule of dealing with women, from the horse's mouth: she sais because its a power thing and when women know they have the power they don't want you. Though it is debated, though it is said we should be worshippers who would call ourselves equal to those we worship, behold the truth. It is a natural law that women seek the shelter of a STRONGER man who doesn't NEED her, to debate it is akin to debating the moral merits of gravity.

Allow this principle to become part of who you are, and you will never have "problems" with women. You'll either have one or not.
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Old 04-22-2010, 07:36 AM   #8
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never beleive what they show in the movies its all BS

tebow you dont seem to understand this? if you dont get this, your gonna have a hell of a hard time improving your game...!

women love a guy who is a challenge, most guys are NICE and do TOO MUCH for her, put her on a pedestal, tell her too much, dont have other "options", theres nothing for her to work for or to find out, the man is too eager to please her = boring = unattractive= no challenge = guy gets dumped!
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Old 04-22-2010, 05:17 PM   #9
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Being "clingy" and "being a nice guy" are two entirely different things. Clingyness, I would say, is when person A wants to spend more time together (or be more emotionally intimate) then person B does, and person A either fails to sense this discrepancy or sees it and chooses to ignore it.

Nobody likes it when someone else fails to respect their desire for space (be it physical or emotional). It shows that the person either isn't perceptive to your wishes or is willfully disregarding them.

Maybe where things become confused with the "nice guy" issue is when a man disregards a woman's desire for space and justifies his actions by thinking "But I'm being a nice guy! I'm doing the kinds of things women in general are supposed to want". But in that kind of situation, being a "nice guy" is just another form of rudeness and imposing your will on another person.

I'll add that I don't think it's generally true that girls are turned off by a clingy guy because the guy is showing his lack of power over her. I think clinging to another person IS actually a way of asserting power over them- just a very unattractive way.
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Old 04-23-2010, 08:35 AM   #10
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Clingyness = insecurity, desperateness, low-selfesteem and confidence -- all the things women abhor. But it's not just restricted to women; I've had attractive girls smother me, and whilst endearing at first, it quickly wears thin. Clingyness is an unattractive trait in any gender. Period.
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Old 04-23-2010, 05:05 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tebow1120
Ok I get what some of you guys are saying but I think women confused nice and being clingy sometimes..just because a guy wants too show he is different and wants too actually treat a woman good doesn't mean he is obsessed with her..women complain all the time how there are no more good men anymore but when they finally meet one they find excuses not to like him..I mean look at this guys women love chick flicks and what are most chicks about..there usally about a guy who meets a girl walking outside who he has never met before and tells her she is wonderful and I will treat you like a queen and the women falls in love with him..Women love that **** but when it actually happens to them they find it creepy and next you.

You are wrong.

1. Not every chic flick on air makes girls wet their panties or eyes

I don't watch chick flicks but last time I checked these were the most popular ones:
Jack Sparrow....is a real bad boy.
Leonardo in Titanic...not exactly a wussy either.
That blond guy in Tristan and Isolde... not exactly a wussy either.

Big difference>
The thing is wussy/clingy guy says he would die for a girl like Leonardo...that is his seducing.
But Leonardo was seducing his girl for real and then just died.

Other flicks have something in common>
Guy meets a girl. Guy is not afc/nobody...she likes him already. Then they
split up, because of some misunderstanding. Both regret it. He catches her on an airport and tell her he loves her.

The whole time she had high Interest Level. Because he was cool. Not because he told her he loves her on second date.

Nice guys give flowers and compliments and call ten times because they see it in movies but they don't realize it is just a symbol...nothing. The coolness of the guy is important. Have you seen a chick flick hero being nobody or being corny, nervous wreck?
Yeah there are those in the movies to get to the AFC audience. But chics never put them as wallpaper.

Another reason is....most of the chicks are not really a chicks....girls rated 1 to 5 are really desperate and would love to be treated like queens for a change....thats why the songs and movies where guys sing "Come back to me baby".
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Old 04-23-2010, 05:29 PM   #12
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Women are full of ****, and their emotions make no sense at all. I can't believe it took me this long to understand it.
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Old 04-23-2010, 05:42 PM   #13
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Well it doesn't matter what I think because women are gonna be women and honestly chicks are too complicated..makes you wanna be single forever and jack off for the rest of your life..I mean I get what everybody is saying but honestly women are gonna do what they wanna do even if your not clingy or having anything wrong chicks will still find a way not too like you..I read a millions post about women on here and everybody has a problem with women 1 way or another..women will never change..everybody wants men too change but a women is perfect she does nothing wrong according to the world.
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Old 04-23-2010, 06:13 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tebow1120
Well it doesn't matter what I think because women are gonna be women and honestly chicks are too complicated..makes you wanna be single forever and jack off for the rest of your life..I mean I get what everybody is saying but honestly women are gonna do what they wanna do even if your not clingy or having anything wrong chicks will still find a way not too like you..I read a millions post about women on here and everybody has a problem with women 1 way or another..women will never change..everybody wants men too change but a women is perfect she does nothing wrong according to the world.

I know I hate that $hit. like that cnn article earlier this week: guys..here's how you need to change or whatever it said.

Fvck that.
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Old 04-23-2010, 06:45 PM   #15
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if chicks were not complicated this website would not exist.

to understand the answer, you need to ask your self: would i want a girl that sure, shes hot, but is calling me every 30 min, is OBSESSED with me, will never leave me alone, who has found out not ony my home, cell # but social security # and is always there? and every fime min she tells you how MUCH she LOVES you and how she could NEVER live Without you, she would just die (the theme of all love songs LOL). what do you think?

well ive had this happen to me 4 TIMES. and guess what i thought? ugh, big mistake approaching this chick. no attraction at all. in my head im thinking i SHOULD like this girl, but i CANT. she wont let me! "call me call me call me" Heck no! since you are there al the time, why should i have another conversation on the phone?

with clingyness there is no magic, no mistery. No "he loves me he loves me not"

clingynes is telling a girl. "oh, i dont think i deserve you, and im sooo afraid to lose you, PLEASE love me! ill do anything please!"

girls want someone in control and does not need others to be happy. if you even CONSIDER oh, if i had XYZ girl i would be happy.....man.
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Old 04-23-2010, 07:01 PM   #16
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Just like many other chumpish behaviors, clingyness signals to the woman that the man has low sexual value compared to her (which is why he is "clinging" to her). Women want men with a higher sexual value than themselves.
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Old 04-24-2010, 01:30 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DjVita
if chicks were not complicated this website would not exist.

to understand the answer, you need to ask your self: would i want a girl that sure, shes hot, but is calling me every 30 min, is OBSESSED with me, will never leave me alone, who has found out not ony my home, cell # but social security # and is always there? and every fime min she tells you how MUCH she LOVES you and how she could NEVER live Without you, she would just die (the theme of all love songs LOL). what do you think?

well ive had this happen to me 4 TIMES. and guess what i thought? ugh, big mistake approaching this chick. no attraction at all. in my head im thinking i SHOULD like this girl, but i CANT. she wont let me! "call me call me call me" Heck no! since you are there al the time, why should i have another conversation on the phone?

with clingyness there is no magic, no mistery. No "he loves me he loves me not"

clingynes is telling a girl. "oh, i dont think i deserve you, and im sooo afraid to lose you, PLEASE love me! ill do anything please!"

girls want someone in control and does not need others to be happy. if you even CONSIDER oh, if i had XYZ girl i would be happy.....man.

This is a GREAT post! I think the best solution a lot of times is to look at it as if it were happening to you, then re-evaluate what you're doing.

I've gone both ways...I've had girls that were extremely clingy and I didn't want anything to do with them. It's that factor of "Once you've got them, you don't want them anymore"...their value goes down every time they "bug" you.

And I've also been with girls who are extremely attractive and fall into that mode of being clingy. As someone else said, by showing them that they have more sexual power than you, they can see that you have devalued yourself and in turn, aren't as attractive to them.

Man I love this site...thanks DjVita for the great post and eye opener!!
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