Goals

This post is both a thank you, a tip, as well as me asking for some advice.

First off, I'd like to thank this forum. When I first started reading I was a skinny high school kid who played video games a lot and had no clue with girls. That was 7 or 8 years ago. The one thing I learned that made the most difference wasn't ****y-comedy or negs or any of that stuff, but it was the "inner-game", and I don't mean telling yourself how awesome you are in the mirror - I mean becoming the awesome person that you want to be. I learned to set goals and never let anything or anyone keep me from reaching them. If you really want to have success with women, you need to think about WHY you want to have success with women. And if it's "to get laid" you're being too superficial. WHY do you want that? Most likely it's to feel good about yourself. I read on here a long time ago is that your happiness shouldn't depend on anyone else. You should create a life where, if you had some freak accident happen and couldn't ever have sex again, you'd still think your life was pretty awesome. Ok, I'm still not at that point, I'd hate to lose my junk, but you get the point. When you think your life is awesome without girls in it, it will be freaking incredible with them in it. I'm not saying to ditch girls completely until you reach that point (although the article I read on here did say that), I'm just saying girls shouldn't be your priority until you're at that point. And it won't be hard to find girls who want to be with someone as awesome as you are once you get there. Trust me.

Now, I'm at a point where I am in need of some new goals. I made a list when I was 17 of the 10 things I wanted to do by the time I was 35, I'm almost 24 and have almost finished it I've learned a LOT by working towards these, but the most important lesson (besides that you can do just about anything you set your mind to) is that most things you want to do aren't nearly as hard or take nearly as long as you think. Basically, I'm wondering, what can I do to improve myself further? Here are some things that I had on my list at 17:

1) Learn another language that's not Spanish (done. Fluent in Russian)
2) Learn to play a musical instrument (done. I can play the guitar pretty well)
3) Don't be skinny (mostly done. I've gone from skinny to thin, and it's been freaking hard, but I think in another year I'll be about where I want to be)
4) Own my own business (part owner of a summer sales company)
5) Be a millionaire (not done, but I've got over $100k in the bank from my business and am still in college, make $2,000 a month in residual income, and will likely make another $100k this summer. Plus whatever my stake in the company is worth, but I don't plan on selling so have no idea)
6) Get an MBA (I'm a year from getting my Bachelors degree in Russian and Business, so on my way)
7) Learn a martial art (currently taking Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu lessons)
8) Get a girlfriend (this one now makes me laugh, I was dating who I considered to be the hottest girl in my school by the time I graduated high school, so done)
9) Learn a cool sport (Snowboarding, this winter I learned to do front flips)
10) Get married (yes, that is a goal I have, I don't want to be 35 and single)

As for #5, I hate talking about how much I make or having people think I'm rich - I drive a $2,500 car and while I'm in school I work as an assistant for a professor and make $10/hour - so... pretty much everyone I know still thinks I'm a poor college student. I only mention it because hearing success stories like that was what inspired me to start taking my life into my own hands - or "grab life by the horns" as they say.

So... I'm at a point now where I've done or am doing all of the goals that I thought would take me 11 years longer than they did, and am now looking for some new things to add to my goal list. And this time they can be one's that might require a little bit more money . So far I've got the following:

1) Buy/learn to ride a motorcycle (if any of you are bikers, I'm thinking a Yamaha FZR, but if that's a bad choice I'd like to know)
2) Become a certified skydiver (costs $1300, but once you're certified it's only $25 a jump, which for the amount of awesome you get is basically free)
3) Learn to skydive with a skyboard
4) Learn to base jump
5) Learn to skydive/base-jump with a wingsuit (youtube wingsuit base jumping to see just how awesome this would be)
6) Get a private pilot's license
7) Learn to scuba-dive
8) ?
9) ?
10) ?

The problem I'm running in to is... this list will take me two years, tops, if I take my freaking time. Most likely I'll get it done in a year. Which is great, don't get me wrong, but I need some more stuff to fill the list. And I'm being generous to my list by counting 2, 3, 4, and 5 as separate items. So really I need like 5 more things. You may notice a theme of "it looks like he's trying to kill himself" going on haha. You can go with the adrenalin rush theme if you want, or you could suggest "get straight A's one semester" (actually not a bad idea, I haven't got straight A's since elementary school), what I'm saying is I won't call your ideas stupid - I'm looking for any and all suggestions. And this should be as much for you as it is for me - writing down a goal is just as important as thinking it, because until you've written it down it's just a dream and will most likely be forgotten.

Great post. I discovered this site about a month ago at a similar age to you- it's inspirational imagining where I might be 5 years down the line. You follow those dreams, man

dude. mad props on everything you've achieved and who've you become.

I had some similar goals to you but didn't achieve them for various reasons and I can honestly say I greatly admire your success.

one of the the only suggestions I can think of is what contribution goals could you make? a month building houses in Africa or a month caring for orphans in Thailand are two examples.

what about buying an apartment or house too man? buying an apartment has been one of my greatest achievements and is a something
I'm grateful for everyday.

maybe some travel goals could be good too?

@Wodinart: Work hard man, 5 years is a long time and you can be just about anywhere you'd like in that time.

@Stayfly: I really hadn't thought about contribution goals, that's a good idea. As far as buying a house or an apartment, that's something I'd love to do and will be added to my list. However, I avoid debt like the plague, so it's something I'll have to save for until I can pay cash (or once I'm married I'd be more willing to take out a mortgage). As far as travel... I've spent 6 years outside of the U.S. (living in Germany, Russia, Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia) and have visited almost every major country in Europe, so I feel like I'm set there. Thanks for the advice!

Hey man you still play videogames? Damn man, how did you end up co-owning a business? Help me out.

Hahaha This is great. I'm 17 right now and like not only a month ago I created my OWN list of things I wanted to do before a certain age. The only difference is that I chose 30 instead of 35 lol. Here is my list, feel free to take anything you find interesting (Italics are me writing now) :

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I’M 30
o Have my own place
o Have my own car
o Get a high paying job
o Learn how to play the guitar
o Become a rock climbing expert
o Become a freestyle skiing expert (I'm decent as of now)
o Learn to snowboard
o Travel to many exotic and foreign countries and spend at least a year in one
o Become a great cook (in both American cuisine and abroad)
o Become better at soccer (pssh as if THAT’S possible) (Lol, I think it's safe to say I'm good.)
o Take up Muai Thai, Brazilian ju-jit su or Judo
o Learn how to dance Salsa and C-walk
o Pick up craftsmanship and woodworking
o Learn how to draw caricatures (kind of what Nathan [My cousin, he has his own business doing corporate gifts and the likes of this stuff] does in Birmingham)
o Become fluent in 2 languages ( French and prob Spanish but if not German or Mandarin)
o Become awesome in the Stock Market
o Sky dive at least once
o Become an active reader again ( On the right track; dropped the x-box for the novel )
o Collect restaurant business card (only the GOOD ones.) (A little hobby that I had as a kid, actually proved useful for finding good places to eat lol.)
o Become a good shot and licensed rifleman
o Take up a water based sport (windsurfing, jet skiing, sailboating)
o Become a wilderness and camping expert
o Become knowledgeable in basketball and football ( Believe it or not, but I'm American and the only sport I know anything about is soccer haha)
o Go to a World Cup


You have inspired me to take on this list even further and I hope to follow your footsteps in success

Very nice idea by setting these kind of goals. Gave me inspiration.

@SeymourCake: I don't play video games anymore. Well, OK, that's a lie, but I don't play the games I used to or as much as I used to. I'll play guitar hero, or boxing on the wii, but it's more of an excuse to have people over than anything.

As far as becoming part owner of a business, I went to a college that has a very active Entrepreneur program, joined as many business-related clubs, took business classes, and made a point to talk to and become friends with anyone I heard owned/was starting/was planning to start a business. That gave me a lot of oppurtunities and experience working with people starting companies.

What ended up happening is I went to do summer sales one year - we sold alarm systems door to door in Philadelphia (a lot of people at my college do it because people average 20-30k in the bank for one summer of work). I made friends with a lot of the guys I sold with, and a few of weren't happy with the way it was run (the trainers encouraged deceptive practices trying to get people to buy), and we were all really successful while still being honest (we each made over 50k that summer), just had to have a slightly different approach. One friend was really into it and started to get everything organized to start his own company - he invited me to come on board and help start it because he knew I was into business and he wanted someone with experience who he could trust. So I came on board as part owner, that summer we were really successful. We only had 16 reps working for us, but we had the highest average commission in the state ($40,000). We are putting most of our profits back into the business but my friend and I each made over $100k that summer. This year it's a lot easier to recruit because we can show people what they can expect to make with us verse with other companies. So... if things work out the way it's looking we should make bank this year. We leave in a week to start selling so I'll let you all know how it goes.

So basically, put yourself in situations where you will meet people who are doing the things you want to do, and learn the skills that will make them want you to be part of it. Or come up with an idea for a business yourself and you'll know people who will want to come on board.

@TriniBoySmooth: Awesome list, I'd wish you luck but I doubt luck will have much to do with whether or not you are successful - that all depends on you. I am stealing a few of yours: learning to cook, rock climb, and dance. Also adding wakeboarding to my list, as a watersport. Hopefully when I get back from selling it will still be warm enough to go to the lake

Three Years Later

Never give up, gentlemen.

Here is my list from when i was 17 revisited....


THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I’M 30
o Have my own place
o Have my own car
o Get a high paying job
o Learn how to play the guitar Done. Still very much a beginner but I know a thing or two.
o Become a rock climbing expert
o Become a freestyle skiing expert (I'm decent as of now)
o Learn to snowboard Done. I'm actually pretty decent.
o Travel to many exotic and foreign countries and spend at least a year in one
o Become a great cook (in both American cuisine and abroad) This goal has been PRIORITIZED. Don't be surprised to see an update about this very soon.
o Become better at soccer (pssh as if THAT’S possible) (Lol, I think it's safe to say I'm good.) And to think I thought I was good back then...
o Take up Muai Thai, Brazilian ju-jit su or Judo
o Learn how to dance Salsa and C-walk
o Pick up craftsmanship and woodworking
o Learn how to draw caricatures (kind of what Nathan [My cousin, he has his own business doing corporate gifts and the likes of this stuff] does in Birmingham)
o Become fluent in 2 languages ( French and prob Spanish but if not German or Mandarin) On the way to study abroad in Shanghai this year. Tai hao le.
o Become awesome in the Stock Market
o Sky dive at least once
o Become an active reader again ( On the right track; dropped the x-box for the novel ) So done. I am currently on the road to reading a book a week. So much value in books, it's a shame not everyone reads them
o Collect restaurant business card (only the GOOD ones.) (A little hobby that I had as a kid, actually proved useful for finding good places to eat lol.)
o Become a good shot and licensed rifleman
o Take up a water based sport (windsurfing, jet skiing, sailboating) I'm a surfer dude now, chee
o Become a wilderness and camping expert
o Become knowledgeable in basketball and football ( Believe it or not, but I'm American and the only sport I know anything about is soccer haha)
o Go to a World Cup

TriniBoySmooth said:

Hahaha This is great. I'm 17 right now and like not only a month ago I created my OWN list of things I wanted to do before a certain age. The only difference is that I chose 30 instead of 35 lol. Here is my list, feel free to take anything you find interesting (Italics are me writing now) :

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I’M 30
o Have my own place
o Have my own car
o Get a high paying job
o Learn how to play the guitar
o Become a rock climbing expert
o Become a freestyle skiing expert (I'm decent as of now)
o Learn to snowboard
o Travel to many exotic and foreign countries and spend at least a year in one
o Become a great cook (in both American cuisine and abroad)
o Become better at soccer (pssh as if THAT’S possible) (Lol, I think it's safe to say I'm good.)
o Take up Muai Thai, Brazilian ju-jit su or Judo
o Learn how to dance Salsa and C-walk
o Pick up craftsmanship and woodworking
o Learn how to draw caricatures (kind of what Nathan [My cousin, he has his own business doing corporate gifts and the likes of this stuff] does in Birmingham)
o Become fluent in 2 languages ( French and prob Spanish but if not German or Mandarin)
o Become awesome in the Stock Market
o Sky dive at least once
o Become an active reader again ( On the right track; dropped the x-box for the novel )
o Collect restaurant business card (only the GOOD ones.) (A little hobby that I had as a kid, actually proved useful for finding good places to eat lol.)
o Become a good shot and licensed rifleman
o Take up a water based sport (windsurfing, jet skiing, sailboating) I am a surfer dude now, chee
o Become a wilderness and camping expert
o Become knowledgeable in basketball and football ( Believe it or not, but I'm American and the only sport I know anything about is soccer haha)
o Go to a World Cup


You have inspired me to take on this list even further and I hope to follow your footsteps in success

Click to expand...

Overall I feel like I've gotten a decent amount of my crap done. I'm knocking things off of the list. In three years I am practically 1/5 done and I didn't even put that much effort into it. Imagine the success of actively pursuing these goals with TEN YEARS to last? The sky is the limit fellas. Despite all the fast pace action going on in my life right now I'm still setting aside the the time and means necessary to finish what i set out to do. Do the same guys, if I can so can you!