My self-improvement program

For the readers who read this, the latest huge update is on the previous page.

Weed doesn't really help your game or anything else in life, so unless you are a cancer patient you should drop it. In fact, I would consider it an immature crutch that people use to escape from reality and avoid facing their problems.

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Dude, I don't know if you read the whole story (I don't blame you if you didn't, lol), but I haven't touched a joint for a whole year. Well, ok. I smoked one or two in the summer break, but that's all really. I don't care about it anymore, and I don't even find it that enjoyable anymore. The novelty wore off, and I just find myself bored.

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Went to another party tonight. I haven't drank a drip of alcohol again because of the medication. While being sober, I was suprised how non-caring I was. I was really chatty and pretty damn agressive with kino on girls. I Improved that kino sh*t, and it really works. Girls love it!

Today first day at school. The 2nd (9) girl in my huge post was in class again. She was looking really b1tchy and arrogant. Really that un-pleasant person vibe. Once she saw me she just transformed. She smiled and it was like I saw a whole different person. It was funny. Yep, like I said, I made a good first impression last week.

I dropped the uber hot b*tch (11) a message. I wonder how that one will develop. Also still got her number. I will use that as the next step.

Walked into the 11 today. I was a bit akward. Some dumbass groundworker damaged a major water pipe in my area so I hadn't shaved or washed myself. I had a bit of a cold so I didn't have my contacts in and wore my glasses. I looked and felt like a piece of sh*t hobo. I even smelled myself at the end of the day - old sweat.

I approached her anyway with my pirate beard and messy hair. I said something like hi, talked for a sec... I apologized for my "salvation army look". I just brought that up out of the blue. It was stupid, but funny now I think back of it. I couldnt' tell if she thought it was funny. Just as I wanted to take off she asked me something, I don't know what. We talked a bit more. I'll take that as a little IOI that she sorta called me back. And if not, I'll tell it to myself for my ego haha. I had to leave for class. While I was leaving I said: "hey, I'm still getting a message back from you". I tickled her back as I walked off. I kept walking and she said something after me like "I'll do it when I have the time". She didn't send anything this day. I'll wait till friday till I take some more action. If I walk into her again, I'm not even gonna bring it up again. I'm a noob at this sh*t, and I'm hunting the hardest-to-get girls. Why? I dunno. I can tell a lot of dudes are scared of her. When I'm talking to her I feel other guys looking at us like "Wtf man, you aren't suppost to talk to her. She's way too hot".

In class I'm having fun with the girls. I'm talking with them like it's the most normal thing in the world, including the really hot one. I got a few adds to my buddy list too. They were very willing to give them to me. One girl who is a bit simple and totally not the girl I'd fall for is sorta flirting with me. I just play along, for fun. I'm also constantly heavy on kino. The more I do it, the more I love it. Interacting is starting to get easy. I notice myself automaticly hanging out with the girls most of the time. I love that flirty, little sexual tension. I'm still completely myself. Infact, more then I ever was. I often make politically incorrect remarks, am sarcastic and sometimes even a little mean. And I'm totally getting away with it. Hell most people love me because of it. Yea guys, I'm definitely moving in the right direction. A lot has happened in a year and a half. I keep saying this over and over.... that therapy sh*t really works for me. I've got such a huge confidence and ego boost. I truly love myself for the first time since I can't remember even.

At the bus stop home I made some small talk with a girl also waiting there. It was a pleasant casual conversation. There were a couple of silences, but I just broke through them in a few secs. Although she wasn't that hot, I felt pretty cool afterwards. I mean, I just had a conversation with a complete stranger... Could just as well be a hot girl. Maybe next time hehe.


By the way, and this is just because I'm curious..., if you're reading this and enjoying it, please post a reply every now and then. I love reading feedback.

So, I’m dealing with really hot girls every day. I’m getting really good at it too. I’m really chilled out, and myself. I don’t do anything special or something… I just talk with any hot girl without feeling weird or ashamed about it. The response I’m getting is all positive. Without saying or doing anything special they just seem interested in me. I keep saying I’m getting closer to my goal but really, at this moment I can almost touch it. I feel like I can get any girls number if I ask for it.

One girl in my class is a bit slutty and she talks about sex a lot, loudly. I just kinda ignore it, because I sincerely don’t care. Hotness don’t really do much for me anymore when all kinds of stupid sh*t comes out of girls. Then out of the blue she said something like, “Snowdog, I bet you fukk a lot”. I was like “nah… not really that much”. I was full of sh*t. I never fukked once, or anything, lol. She kept digging and the funny thing was, the hot 9 girl was there too and started asking questions too.

Now, earlier this week I made the mistake to lie that I had a girlfriend when some ugly girl was coming on to me. That was like a f@#king week ago and now they asked about her and I made an even bigger mistake; I told them we were sorta f@#k buddies. And finally I made the fundamental mistake to show a picture of some girl I had in my buddy list, that I saw one time and probably won’t see again anytime soon. It was the girl I tried to kiss a few months ago but turned her head away. I know… that sh*t I pulled today will backfire at me some day. It was a stupid thing to do. I’m ashamed of it and it was unnecessary. I suck at lying, and I just used a bigger lie to cover up a small one. But f@#k me I didn’t knew what to do. But they all bought it. I just played it cool and tried to not talk about it, which made them even more interested. I really did try to move to another subject, but they kept asking and asking. From a psychological point of view, it was quite interesting.

Haven’t run into the 11 yet this week. When I do, I’ll make some small talk and maybe suggest we go out drinking sometime. I dropped her a message on her facebook, but she just ignored me. More details on that one in the previous post.

Still all positive news, but with a few nasty mistakes that might turn on me some day.

Oh yea, did I mention, that since I went through therapy, I'm sleeping like a f***ing baby?

Alright. I just got off the phone with the really hot girl (the one I've been calling "11"). I called with the excuse that I needed a book for school. She's in her 2nd year. She said she would ask her classmates and would call me back around tuesday. From that part on it went sorta like this:

Me: Okay thanks. And, do you have time sunday?
Her: No, I gotta hockey then
Me: I meant like in the evening?
Her: Well I'm busy with school and stuff, why?
Me: Feel like having a drink together and chill out?
Her: No I'm really busy with school
Me: Well alright... I'll hear back from you anyway in the course of next week. We'll talk about this then.
Her: Sure, yea.
Me: Alright, see you next week

Meh, don't look too good to me. But fukk it, at least I called. And who knows. I kept my cool and didn't talk nervous.

I just like to repeat it. Fukk it, at least I took action.

I'm still in therapy, and it's still paying off. Every time I kill some more demons and every time I return home with some more confidence and self-esteem. I'm finally getting back what I've lost in my pretty much ruined childhood.


She (the uber hot 11) didn't call, just as I expected. SO, the next day I called her. Left her a message:

[voicemail... BEEP]
[relaxed voice]Hey, this is Snowdog. You said you'd call me last tuesday and you didn't. Well, I really need to know about that book. Call me back if you hear this message. Bye.


And half an hour later, she called me

Her: hey you called
Me: yea, I did.
Her: I really asked around but everyone sold it already, so...
Me: Ah well, that's too bad. You moved over already?
Her: What you mean?
Me: You told me you got your own room now.
Her: Yea. Yea yea, i did.
Me: You like it?
Her: Yea, it's ok, I just don't like my roommate
Me: Well that sucks, you'll have to live with him 24/7 haha
Her: Nah i'm not that much at home anyway.
Me: What's annoying about him then?
Her: He doesn't do **** in the house
Me: So that means you're doing all the dishes right? hahaha
Her: No. I'm not gonna do his dishes (she didn't really react to my obvious teasing)
Me: Well alright. I guess we'll run into each other sometime then at school
Her: Yea sure. See you around. Bye.
Me: Bye bye

Just tonight, which is a couple days later I sent a text with something like: "How those dishes coming along haha ". See what happens after that.

I'm not giving up on this one just yet. I can't decide wether she's playing hard to get or really isn't interested. I keep on hunting this one untill she litteraly tells me to f*ck off.


I'm flirting all the time with the really hot girl from class, and she's flirting back. Even sending me text messages and sh*t. It's fun, this flirting stuff.


Three girls in my class are really slutty and horny all the time. They don't make a secret of that either. One of them made a joke one day about "are you a kawklover" or something. The one day in class this exchange happened. These are text messages:

Girl 1: are you horny
Me: always
Girl 1: you dirty man
Me: You have no idea
Girl 1: we are 3 kawklovers
Me: 3? That's nice
[unknown number]: what gets you hot?
Me: who's number is this?
[unknown number]: From the horniest chick in class haha
Me: Oh, hello [girl 2]
Girl 2: So, when are we dating then?
Me: But there are two other kawklovers

They were in stitches back in class after that. The next day girl #2 came over to me and told me they thought it was really funny.

This flirting stuff is really fun. The fact that they really show interest in me proves to me that I definitely have sex appeal to girls. It's really good practice too. I'm totally not shy anymore around girls. Not so much around hot ones anymore too.

To be honest, girls like these are really not the type I'm looking for. It may be old school, and it may be a cliché, but I want my first time to be with a special girl; like the one from the start of this post.

read you complete thread! Going great!!! keep doing it!

oh yeah, you should flirt with the other girls to get the HB11 jealous ;p

Wen said:

read you complete thread! Going great!!! keep doing it!

oh yeah, you should flirt with the other girls to get the HB11 jealous ;p

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Haha wow man. How long did that take you? At least an one and a half hour.

The thing is, I don't see the HB11 that much. We're not in the same class, and I'm lucky if I walk into her once a week. But don't worry, I'm not having a case of one-itis. Not this time

(although almost, lol)

I'm going out again this weekend with my pals. There will be girls there of course... and I've never felt so good as now. I'll keep you updated

congrats on the successes man, you have come a long way for sure. As for the 11, good job with the closing although I wouldn't get my hopes up quite yet anyways. From what you've typed, you don't talk to her like you talk to the other girls quite yet. You needed a pretense to talk to her (the book) and the conversation sounded kinda bland on the phone. She didn't return your call or attempt to until you left the voicemail

don't put too much stock into the 11 but other than that keep the wheels of change turning man...

Thanks man

keep the wheels of change turning man...

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I like that sh*t

I'm currently really in a good/bad cyclus. Sometimes it goes really good, sometimes I suck at everything. I really have these mood swings all the time. This has to with the sh*t I talk about in therapy. I had a pretty f*cked up youth, and talking about it is hard and tiring. Eventually, I know it will help me a great deal. At the moment though, I'm kinda bothered by it sometimes. I'm with my head somewhere else you know?

It may be that I won't post for a while because of this. I will only post the things that worthy enough to read. The standard story of me flirting all the time gets boring after a while. And yes, I'm still doing that with succes. I'm still definitely on the right road, it's just kinda rocky and steep at the moment.

I never thought that sh*t that happened 15 years ago can still bother you and f*ck you up in your daily life. Well believe me, it can.


Enough with that negative sh*t. I will post again when I have something good to tell you guys.

I'm flirting like crazy with every girl in class. Making sexual jokes all the time. It's fun one of them said "i have a friend who wants to go on a date, would you like to?". I was like yea sure, but show a picture first. I couldn't believe it, this chick was really hot. She has a pretty face and a damn fine body, seriously. She's a hottie. So, she showed me the link to her facebook and I added her immediately. I sent a message too: "I would like a date with you ". Simple, but a clear message.

This is the message history:

Her: I don't think you can handle me
Me: I don't think you know me very well
Her: I'm not that hard to get
Me: Oh really? What you doing on tuesday night then?
Her: I'm playing bingo then. If you promise me I get everything you win you can come. Oh, and you'll be paying for all my drinks. [this is obviously a joke]
Me: Haha, right. What do you think?!?

And that's the last one. It was a reaction I would use in real life too, I don't care how hot she is. This will be continued.

Next saturday a buddy of mine is throwing a party. Should be good.

Next thursday there is this huge party that my school is throwing. I'm definitely going to be there.

Haven't made any moves on the 11 anymore. I rarely walk into her anyway. I heard she's available at the moment. I'm going to call her again next week. See what happens. Who cares if I fail. I really don't care that much anymore.

Still in therapy, still fighting with my deamons. I'm winning that battle as well.


Yea guys, I think it definitely won't be long anymore. Guys and girls see me as an alpha guy. Some girls in class were talking to each other and laughing and I noticed them looking at me, so I asked what's up. They said they were impressed by me. I asked why. They told me the way I entered the room, like I owned the place. Awesome. I love that.

Like I said...

man, you're great! I'm 22 and trying to fix my life. We are alike in so many ways. I'm not an ugly guy but i was very ****ed up when i was young (suffered from pathological laughter/crying) and that reeeeeally didn't help with ANY kind of social contact. Still some pretty girls have hit on me!(don't ask me why, i don't have a ****ing clue) I grew up playing games and believing that the girls i liked were better off with sb else only to see that i was wrong. Sometimes i can feel my "flirty"-wild side trying to come out but i've forced it back in so many times it feels strange to let it out. I'm honestly glad to see you're making progress. Liking yourself is a rare feeling in humans.

Keep writing those reports and please write your daily meals. I've started lifting weights and i'd like to compare your schedule with mine.

I don't go to the gym that often anymore. I need to go some more. I've been drinking heavily lately instead of lifting heavily haha.

It's all about having fun man. And really, if you seriously have a f*cked up history like me, find a shrink. It's working wonders for me.

A follow up on this one:

This is the message history:

Her: I don't think you can handle me
Me: I don't think you know me very well
Her: I'm not that hard to get
Me: Oh really? What you doing on tuesday night then?
Her: I'm playing bingo then. If you promise me I get everything you win you can come. Oh, and you'll be paying for all my drinks. [this is obviously a joke]
Me: Haha, right. What do you think?!?

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Her: you don't wanna date me anymore?:crackup:
Me: You're a funny one. In which old people shelter are you playing bingo by the way?

Hehe. See what happens next. I might have gone too far, but still, I think it was worth it because it was funny.


I basically ruined my day today because I wanted to call the 11 since this morning. I really didn't wanna do it because the AFC in me reared it's ugly head again. I had lots of stuff to do and I didn't do it because I told myself i'll call her the next ten minutes etc. It made me feel bad about myself that I was so hesistant. I thought I was past that sh*t. It was f*cking depressing. I knew I'd kick my own ass if I didn't call her at all, so, I finally called her around 10pm. She didn't pick up her phone and didn't call me back. She's one of those girls who's calling all the time, so I'll take this is a message. I'll just keep acting normal to her. Kino here and there and be nice when I see her. I won't even mention the phone call. Oh well, at least I tried. I coulda found that out this morning and still had a nice day... Oh well f*ck it. I just see it as another little lesson to myself, because I'll definitely remember it the next time I'm gonna call a girl.

And still in the end, I DID call her

And like I said before, she's unbelievably hot haha.

So, I walked into the 11 today with one of her equally hot friends. We talked a little, no big conversations. And still, every time I see her I can't believe how hot she is.

There is this party tonight that I want to attend. But I don't have tickets. So, I texted her:


Me: Hey you. Do you happen to know anyone as 2nd grader badass that has any spare tickets left? x snowdog

Her: haha, no. I was a little late as well, don't have them. Good luck! x

Me: O really? Well that means we both have empty agenda's tonight. I suggest we solve this problem with having a drink together

Her: Haha, no my agenda is really really full! So that ain't gonna wrok. Have fun with whatever you gonna do! x

Me: Even so the holiday starts so soon huh? You still so busy with those dishes?


That last was was a bit cheesy, I know. Infact it was a sh*tty joke about that phone conversation we had a week ago. But hey, at least she's responding, and it's light and positive you know.

I'm one persistent motherf*cker. I won't quit this sh*t until she really tells me to f*ck off. The type of reactions I'm getting are slowly beginning to become more positive in my eyes. I just don't care anymore. I just ask whatever I want whenever I feel like it now.

Going out tonight, I'm feeling like having some fun.:rockon:

"I'm hot and too good for any man" type of chicks :

I can't stand them, but I would love to have the accomplishment of breaking down that shield and getting it on with them. Any advice on how to go about doing this?

I dunno man, the 11 is the first one I'm actually dealing with at the moment. I'm just really being agressive. Just like I said, I won't stop till she tells me to f*ck off haha. I really don't know dude. I'm just trying. I don't know why I'm trying to get one of the hardest chicks to get...

She hasn't replied yet to my last text by the way... But, she didn't tell me to get lost/f*ck off either.


I have a pretty damn awesome update for you guys. I can't believe how great I was tonight. I'll post it tomorrow when I'm sober again.