Brak86's Journal

I've decided to create a new thread for my Journal because I now write clearer and better FRs that actually contain the ENTIRE conversations between me and HBs instead of just the jist of what happened.

On Saturday, October 7th, I met with two guys from the Boston Seduction Lair for the first time. I have yet to go to a Lair meeting (going to my first one this saturday) since I just moved to Boston, but I really wanted to get into the field. This was the first time i actually went out with the intent to sarge (went to the prudential mall). I used to not liek this idea, but i realized that I was just making excuses for not sarging. Nothign should keep me from realizing my goals. Anyways I met up with two experienced guys, Don Arturo and Shadowfox in Barnes and Noble. I met up with Don Arturo, who came up and introduced himself to me. He is an awesome guy who just moved here from Germany. He has maintained his personality and genuineness. I've wondered whether people become sort of "robots" when they become DJs, but Don Arturo is very generous and understanding.

We went and looked for Shadowfox (I met him first earlier, but he left and said he'd meet up with me later). And, wouldn't you know, when Arturo and I found him, he was just getting a chick's number. Shadowfow is a very unique, odd individual. But he was very calm all the time and seemed almost indifferent to everything. He approaches no matter what, he doesnt care if he gets blown out (as a matter of fact, one chick just ignored him completely when he tried ttalking with her). But he got at least 3 numbers that i know of.

Anyways, next was Arturo's turn in Barnes and Noble. He struck up a conversation with some girl and when he asked for the number she said she was married (she actually was, had a ring on). But he made her laugh at least 3 times during hte conversation and they had a good time. Amazed, I asked him what he opened with, and he barely remembered. He told me he was now at a point where the openers come naturally. he doesnt use canned lines.

I now felt pressured to do an approach since I was the odd-man out. Keep in mind these are pretty much my first cold approaches aside from parties and such where we had something in common (ie: knowing the host or both knowing a few of the same people).

I spotted an HB 7.1 with a green jacket on and glasses. She was pretty cute and was perusing through the book isles. I'll call her HB intellectual. I moved near her looking at books when I opened her (i dont remember exactly what was said, just the gist):

Me: Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something.
HBIntellectual: Sure (she seemed willing to talk)
Me: My cousin's birthday is coming up and she's a huge reader. I don't read all that much so i was wondering what you would suggest.
HBIntellectual: Yeah definately! I just read this awesome book! I forgot the name of it though, ****...it started with an M...uhh..
Me: Hahaah, you dont remember this "awesome book?" Are you sure you read that much?
HBIntellectual: ahah Yeah i do...umm i remember it was about a hermaphrodite
Me: (I probably should have teased her with something like "I'm not buying my cousin weird porn mags you pervert, but instead i knew the book so i helped her out) do you mean Middlesex?
HBIntellectual: Yeah! that was it! Great book.
Me: What is it about?
HBIntellectual: Blah blah hermaphrodite blah blah penis and balls with vagina (she didnt actually say that )
Me: Awesome thanks a lot. By the way, could I get your number?
HBIntellectual: I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend (she was very respectful about it)

Wow that wasn't that bad! Me, Arturo and Shadow then walked out cause there were no more targets. As we walked through the mall Arturo stopped at a jewelry booth and opened an elegant Asian girl. She was pretty hot, too. me and Shadow left Arturo (who eventually got her number) to open other sets. I spotted 3 girls. I dont remember the other two but the one I opened was a HB 6.8 and she had cowboy boots on with a skirt. She was at a booth trying on earrings. I just went up and blurted an opener out without thinking of it (3 second approach rule helped me not think about what to say):

Me: Those look good!
HBBoots: ahah thanks *blush* (her friends giggling and i think looking kinda nervous, i didnt notice)
Me: I have to ask, are you from Texas?
Her Friend: Yeah she is *smiling*
HBBoots: No I'm not
Me: Whcih one is it? I have to know cause I'm Texan,
HBBoots: No I live here
Me: Well you do have a southern acccent...
HB Boots: I am originally from Tennessee
Me: I knew you were a southerner! (her friend then puts a fake hair wig from the stand on HB boots's head).
Friend: What do you think?
Me: Good. You should definately get it. (sheepish smiles from them. Then the cashier rings up the earrings, giving them an excuse to go now, i guess).
HB Boots: Alright, well it was nice meeting you.
Me: You forgot your hair
HB Boots: haha i decided not to get it.
(I dont rememer exactly what happened but Shadow then came into the set randomly. I guess he was trying to help me out and contine the conversation. They talked a bit more but they started distancing themselves and eventually left. Weird).

I went to a watch store with Shadow and we saw a girl looking at watches. He told me to approach but i was intimidated because she was a lot older than me. A few seconds later, as i was hesitating, she walekd over to her boyfriend I don't know what to make of this. I knew that i should have approached but oh well. I was trying to think of an opener, when i culd have just asked her what watch she liked on me).

Went to J crew and approached a group of 5 high school looking girls (probably sophomores). Couldn;t really think of a good opener so i just asked
Me: Are these guys and girls jeans?
Girl#1: I'm not sure
Me: hahaa they all look the same
Girl#1: Yeah
Girl#2: i think these are girls (at which point i saw a pair of jeans with a leopard belt).
Me: Haaha yea you;re right, i don;t think this leopard belt is for guys
Girl#2: ahaha yeah, alright have a good day. (she left and i ejected).

As we were walking out of Jcrew shadow calmly said to one girl (thats a great shirt. She had this hilarious what-the-hell-just-happened look on her face and said "thanks." I think her mom was a few feet away and smiling). Shadow didn;t give a ****. We just kept on walking. He faces his fears pretty damn well.

We Went to the food court and met up with arturo again. We were talking and Shadow was giving me advice. Apprently i didnt notice a girl who was sitting right next to us (Shadow told me later he was waiting for me to approach) so shadow approached her. She was really surprised and he talked to her and got her number eventually. He told me after that he thoiught she was nerbvous because her cheek twitched as they were talking. Damn pretty perceptive. the more you do this the better you get.

Since i foolishly didn't notice this girl I stood up to look for a target. I went to the trash can (pretending to spit out gum) and looked at this really really hot girl (HB 9.2) on my scale. I love femininity in girls and i guess she had a feminine aura about her. I don;t know maybe i should have opened with a compliment about that. Instead i opened with Style's who lies more opinion opener. I said I was talkign to a friend about it and we needed a female opinion. I told her I think guys lie more and I said my friend said girls do. She thought girls lied more, but guys cheat more. She was nice. I asked her for her number and she politely said that she was seeing someone. I reaally think that she didnt have a bf or that she would have given me her number if i was a bit smoother (i leaned over the table and i guess that was intimidating). She was hot as hell but im glad i approached her.

We all had to leave then because we all had stuff to do soona fter (we wanted to stay longer but we couldnt). Shadow left and me and arturo went on the T cause we were heading in the same direction). I got to know more about him. He told me he was 100x more scared than me when he first started out, but it eventually died down. We talked about all sorts of stuff when a girl HB6.7 got on the T with her friends. She had a necklace with a guitar pick on it. Perfect opportunity.

Me: What type of guitar do you play?
Her: Acoustic and electric.
Me: awesome! how long have you been playing
Her: Umm..about 3 years. Do you play guitar?
Me: Yeah i play the flamenco guitar.
Her: Awesome! I've played classical a bit but not flamenco
Me: Yeah its pretty tough but i love it.
Her: Yeah I'd love to try it sometime
Me: whats your name?
Her: ____
Me: Like the beer?
Her: Yeah ahahah but its spelled differently. Whats your name?
Me:______ so do you go to school around here?
Her: Ive actually graduated. Im working now, What about you>?
Me: yeah, i go to BC.
Her: Awesome (the T stopped and it was her stop). Alright it was great meeting you, bye!
I should have asked for the number. I knew i would have gotten them. But it happened so fast and i guess i got intimidated cause she was at least 3 years older thanme. Nevertheless that is no escuse. When i looked back at Arturo, he was smiling. He told me he knew she was interested because when i asked for her name she immediately gave it to me, as if she was an excited little girl. Again, incredible observation by a PUA.

Alright thats all so far. Feel free to comment/ give advice.

Sunday October 16th: I met up with thefonz at the prudential mall. He is a cool guy and I admire his commitment to the game. We both have decided to push each other and to sarge with each other so that we won't get lazy. We actually proved to be a good partners because we excel and lack at different aspects of the game.

What we both agree on, however, is that for both of us, Direct Openers are a lot less intimidating and easier to do. I know, this is odd, I'm sure most guys here would find it easier opening with an asexual Opinion Opener, but speaking for myself, its a lot easier to just tell the girl that I find her cute. I feel that if I approach a girl (especially during the day), she knows that I must be attracted to her, so I find that covering up my intent is useless. It's hard for me to try to talk to a girl that I just approached without showing my true intent. I don't know why, but I find Direct Openers to be a lot less nervewracking (i don't have to stay there long if i don't attract her, i just get right to the point).

One part of me says that I should do what feels most natural and most comfortable to me. But the other part says that I'm a newbie and that nothing really feels that natural to me as of now. I don;t know if i should spend more time practicing other types of openers or trust my gut and keep doing Direct (of all the Master PUA's, I like Juggler the most, for his natural style and his genuine interest in other people). Then again, maybe I need to start by using all types of openers. I would love advice here.

Nonetheless, I decided to use only Direct Openers this time (Not word-for-word. I forget exactly what i say even right after I approach).

I saw a girl working at one of those booths in the middle of the mall. She was folding shirts at her booth when I approached:

Me: Excuse me, but I saw you and thought that you were cute. I wanted to meet you and see if you are nice, too.
Her: (she smiles warmly and speaks in strange accent): thank you (then she goes back to folding her clothes)
Me: Where are you from?
HBNepal: Nepal
Me: Ohhhh cool are you a Buddhist?
HBNepal: No
Me: My friend just came back from Nepal...whats the name of the capital?
HBNepal: Katmandu
Me: Yeah. He studied Buddhism there for a year and loved it
HBNepal: That's good (still folding the shirts)

I ejected but she was very nice about it. Actually, all 4 girls that I approached with this opener were very nice to me)

I then saw a girl shopping in a women's clothes store. I decided to walk in there anyways and approach her.

Me: Hi, I noticed you shopping here and I thought that you were cute.
Her: (smiling and blushing) thank you very much (she also has an accent! Weird).
Me: (noticing that she is not hot up close, as a matter of fact, she is fugly) You're not from here!
Her: hahaah yeah
Me: let me guess, are you from Germany?
Her: No, I'm Bulgarian
Me: Ohh my philosophy teacher is bulgarian, too
HBBulgarian: What's her name?
Me: Antonia (at this point I was kind of walking with her outside the store, i ejected but she asked me some other question as i left so I gathered it was it was a IOI)

I went to the food court and thought that it would be better for me to approach here because girls cannot really walk away from you (hahaah yea, i sound like a creepy bastard). I noticed a really hot girl, much hotter than the other two i just approached, even though she had no make up on and was wearing a baseball cap and sweatpants. I'd have to say she was around an HB 8.7

Me: Excuse me, but i noticed you sitting here and i thought you were cute. I wanted to talk to you and see if you're also cool.
HB 8.7: (she smiled) Aww thats nice, I have a boyfriend, though.
Me: That's ok, can i sit here for a bit? I'm meeting my friend and he isn;t here yet(sitting down)
HB 8.7: Sure! So what do you do?
Me: I'm a student, and you?
HB 8.7: I'm an accountant at (insert some firm here)
Me: (smiling) Ohh so nbasically something boring
HB 8.7: ahahaha nooo
Me: (for some reason i didn't stay in the set, i guess i'm just primarily working on approaching, so i ejected) Well, my friend is here so i gotta go, it was nice meeting you though
HB 8.7: Nice meeting you too! (Even though I probably opened with not enough of a strong presence, i think she respected my confidence to just approach her. It's weird, my fears are like the opposite of most other guys. It seems easier for me to approach hot girls with direct openers, while harder to do a non-sexual opener to an average girl).

I was walking with fonz and i saw a decent girl talking on the phone. I walked past, wanting to approach, but interrupting someone while they're talking on the phone seems weird. Anyways, thefonz convinced me to do it anyways, so I walked back:

Me:Excuse me, but I think that you are cute and I wanted to meet you.
HBCellPhone: (smiling) Thanks, but I'm talking to my boyfriend on the phone right now.
Me: ahahah alright, tell him I said hi.
HBCellPhone: ahahah i will.

Yes, I know I didn't do well, but all I wanted to do was overcome my approach anxiety. The more that I do it, the less nervous I will be and the more confident i will become. My voice projection, posture, and wit will come in time with practice. I am thinking of substituing the word attractive for cute because I cute isn't sexual/direct enough. I dont know why I don't like opening with anything but a direct opener. I guess I just I can't stand the time while I'm conversing with a girl. I feel that she knows my intent so it feels very tense to just strike up a conversation with a girl without stating that I think she is cute/attractive.

Alright, thats all i have for now. More to come.

Thursday October 19th:

I talked with some guys from the boston lair and they were going out to an 18+ bar/lounge in the city. I really didn't feel like going because i was so tired and i had a test the next day. But I finally just told myself that I need to go out if I truly want to improve my game and myself. So i studied for a couple hours and then went out with them.

Lo and behold, the place was pretty empty. BUt no matter, we decided that gaming should be second to having fun. So we played pool and got to know each other. As we were playing, we finally spotted a 4 set of all girls walking from the bathroom. I tiold myself that I came all the way here, I might as well approach whatever there is. I went up and opened them (HB 3.8, HB 5.7, HB 6.2 and HB 8.1) So there was only one hot one, but she was really cute:

Me: Excuse me y'all (im originally texan hehe) i only have a minute but I need a female opinion on something
HB 3.8: Sure
Me: Do y'all think it's ok to be friends with your ex?
Immediately, they all simultaneosly erupted. They started jabbering away. I could only catch a few phrases from each cause they were all talking to me at the same time.
Me:Girls, Girls, one at a time
Each HB then told waht she felt. But I think that they thought I was asking the question on my regard. They thought I had an ex and I needed help. But i never got the chance to tell them it was my friend who had the ex because they immediately started talking. I didn't really know what I was going to do from here when one of the guys i was hanging out with came to "social proof" me
Him: Hey dude, just came to tell you its your shot. (This shocked me. I didn't expect him to come so soon and I really don't think he should have. It's ok though, I just wanted to approach a set).
Me: uhh, alriught dude, well it was nice meeting you all
Girls: Yeah no problem!

Later on, as i was leaving, the ugliest girl comes up to me.

HB3.8: But really, you shouldn't be friends with your ex, it wouldn't work out. (I knew this was an IOI so I wanted to re-engage her in conversation so we could sit down with the group. However, as she told me this, she like started walking away as if she just wanted to give me the advice without staying, even though I knew it was an IOI.
Me: wait wait, why not?
HB3.8: cause either way one of you likes the other more so it wouldn't work.
Me: alright thanks a lot. See you later (i was unable to keep her from distancing herself as she was talking so I did not know what to do).
HB 3.8: Bye

If you read my previous posts, I really don't like using canned stuff but i guess it is good to start off on. Plus, I don't know how to open 2 girls or more without using something canned. You cant be direct towards a set, you need to come with some other reason to approach, right? You can't be like "i thought you all were cute so i wanted to talk to you all." That only works on a lonewolf. Either way, I'm glad I approached a set of girls because I am not comfortable having a lot of eyes looking at me.

I did notice though that since my wingmen and I decided to have fun first and then look to sarge, my confidence and comfort was wayyy up when I approached the 4-set. It helps to look at this as just having fun.

Sunday October 24th:

Got my first number today, hell yeah! But more on that later. Met up with thefonz again and a guy named alex from the boston lair. I first met up with alex who has a little bit more approach anxiety than I, but i admired his motivation and determination to improve. As we were talking, I spot this girl who is decent HB6.4 sitting down reading. "why the hell not?" I think to myself, and I excuse myself from Alex. (One thing I have noticed is that I do a lot better when another guy is there. It's like I have less fear not only if I'm alone but also if I'm with another aspiring PUA. I think its because I like proving myself to people with my actions, which is more of a bad thing than good. I need to do things moreso for myself. Nevertheless, as long as I approach I don;t care how i do it yet).

Me: Excuse me, but I saw you sitting here reading and I thought you were cute so I wanted to meet you
Her (very very taken aback and embarrassed and blushing): ohh, uhh ok...
Me: This has never happened to you before has it?
Her: No, never
Me: ahaha what are you reading?
Her: blah blah (Note to self: PAY ATTENTION TO EVERYTHING SHE SAYS. BE GENUINELY INTERESTED. ALSO, PAYING ATTENTION HELPS YOUR CONVERSATION SKILLS)
Me (noticng her northeastern sweatshirt): Awesome. I see you go to northeastern, do you know _____?
Her: ahahah there are thousands of kids at northeastern.
Me: Well do you know him?
Her: ahaha noo
Me: Alright, well it was nice meeting you, I'll let you get back to your reading. (One thing I did wrong was I stood up for the whole conversation. I should have sat down with her and then started to make her comfortable by touching her, being more playful, smiling a lot, etc. But I'm still at the point where merely approaching is 80% of what i want to do now. I should have asked for her number because I am almost assured I would have gotten it despite not being smooth in conversation.

Three things I especially realized looking back on this approach:
1. Hey, even though I didn't ask for her number and I didnt conversate that well, I still probably made her day, and I at least feel good making someone's day a bit better. I know that if a girl approached me and complimented me so bluntly, I would get a sudden lift.

2. We all worry so much about the details. Now, some of these details are very very important. But we fret too much about them, especially keyboard jockeys, who want to know everything before they go out into the field so that they will, in theory, never fail. BUT REMEMBER THIS: the mere act of you approaching the girl exudes so much confidence from yourself that most men dont have and also distinguishes yourself over the 95% of other guys that will never do this. Even though some women get hit on a lot, there are a lot that don't as much as you think. Plus, even the ones that do probably don't expect to be daygamed like this. Your honest approach immediately shows your value. So take more pride in your ability to even approach!

3. Have fun. This is the name of the game. And that's all that this should be, a game. Aspiring DJ's have so many irrational fears (what if her bf is there, what if i see her again, what if she laughs at me etc.) But we should never limit ourselves because of the "what-ifs" in life. No excuses. This thing isn't as bad as you think. Easy for me to say now, though because for about 2 years I've been reading **** .

Alex was impressed by my approach because he didnt expect me to start until thefonz got here. Soon, however, thefonz arrived and we started. (Again, i will only post my FRs because I don't remember theirs).

One other thing to mention is me and thefonz wanted to try more indirect openers this time because we strangely are more comfortable with Direct than Indirect openers.

We walked outside of the mall onto the sidewalk and I see a girl HB6.6 (damn we were really searching for hotter girls). I approach

Me:Excuse me, but i saw you walking and I just wanted to come meet you.
Her: ahaha well I am (dont remember her name, whoops) whats yours?
Me: brak86
We fluff talk for a bit, I don't remember what was said but I made her laugh once. She was on her way to church.
Me: Awesome, well we'll have to get together sometime. Can I get your number? (yes, i know, its supplicative, but I will work on these details).
Her: ahaha sure

*Note* I did the reverse wait three days and I texted her later that night saying "i had fun meeting you today...hope you cleared away all your sins at church - Daniel (Should i have written my name?)

Next we spotted a 2 set. I was almost not gonna approach because one was so sexy. You see I don't prefer the cute looking girls, I prefer sexy-looking ones. There IS a difference. I prefer ones that look feminine but also seem kind of bad. I get a bit intimidated by my fetish. Nevertheless, I approached that girl HB 9.2 and her friend HB 5.8. This was an indirect approach and we previously chose that our indirect would involve both two of us in the set. So I approached with alex next to me,

Me: Excuse me, I only have a minute but I need a female opinion on someting.
HB 9.2 (did all the talking): Yeah, sure
Me: My friend *pointing to alex* and I have been arguing. He's planning on going on a first date to the aquarium. I think its a bit cheesy. What do y'all think?
HB 9.2: No i think the aquarium is fine.....(dont remember what else she said)
Me: But don't you think he needs to take her on more of an action date?
HB 9.2: What do you mean?
Me: Well, like roller-blading or something
HB 9.2: Not really, I think even dinner is fine
ME: Really, wow. But a movie is a no-no, right?
HB 9.2: Yeah, movies are not good
Me: Alriught y'all, thanks a lot
HB 9.2 no problem

is it wise for me to ask for one of the girls numbers if she is in a set? I don't want to make it awkward/weird, but I was interested in that one girl, not her friend. her friend was clearly not as hot, but is it clever to ask for one of the girls numbers or should i go with both?

Me and the fonz then approached a chick who was not hot at all HB 4.3 but we wanted to test our our Indirect Approached more.

Me: (opened with the date opinion, but this time i said aquarium is fine)
Her: hmm, yeah well it depends on the girl.
Thefonz: What about ice-skating
Her: Yeah! that is a great idea
Me:But I don't know how to ice-skate
Her:well thats even better for you! Especially if she knows how to ice-skate
Me: ahaha, true (ejected)


Approached an arabic-looking woman (clearly at least 4 years older than me) in a business suit.

Me: Excuse me, but i thought you were cute and i wanted to meet you
Her: (smiling) sorry, but I'm married
Me: ahaha alrght nevermind then

These approaches raised my confidence a lot. After I left, I boarded my college bus (yeah, its convenient). Two cute girls were sitting to the left of me whilst a group of about 6 people (2 guys 4 girls) were to the right of me. The group was speaking spanish. Perfect opener. I opened the guy first.

Me: Excuse me, but are you from spain?
Him: No, im from the netherlands, but my friends all are from Madrid.
Me: Ah, I could tell because I heard you all say Bale
(one of the girls who was obviously listening questions me IOI, probably): Have You been to spain?
Me: Yeah, I lived in Cadiz for a month, but I made it to madrid for on weekend
Her: Why only one weekend? YOu cant see madrid in one weekend
Me: well i was in a program, but im going to go back. I still saw a lot when i was there, though.
(Now, one of the two girls sitting to the LEFT of me, not part of the group, joined in. This was the first time I had ever sparked so mcuh from random people in my life).
I fluff talked with the girls to my left (HB 7.2 and HB 7.3, really close ahahah) for awhile.
I walked with them back to their dorms since they lived near me and I got their numbers.

I don't know what I should do here. Should I call one of them? Both? The one I'm most interested in? The one that i think is most interested in me?

Hi there,
I really like reading your stuff, its interesting for me because I'm at a similar stage in some respects regarding opening. I'm also a huge Juggler fan.

About the direct/indirect opener dilemma. Maybe you like direct because Texans have balls of steel.... No, seriously I think you're dead right to stick with direct. My gut feeling with the opinion openers are that its a bit too close to asking a closed question. i.e, what you get as a response is simply the answer to your question, then you have to find a way to move the conversation to something better, which is almost like opening twice. Might as well do it just the once.
Although I would take issue with you on your direct opener being a bit too direct! If you read what Juggler advises, you only reward her with a 'hey you're cute/sexy' when she gives you a reason to, other than just her looks. She has to earn it. He advises opening with 'Hi, I'm Juggler'. I do not have the balls for this!
As a compromise, I find I can easily open with a situational opener. In that respect, I seem to come up with the opener in a place then find an excuse to use it. There is a problem with this. I can't go anywhere without thinking up openers then wanting to use them! I think up loads! Something happens or I see something of interest, and one pops up. Then I have to use it. But it also really reduces approach anxiety because I'm actively looking to approach someone. This works better in daytime, because you're generally in more interesting surroundings than in a bar. As an example, I took my kids to an indoor play area. Woman with pushchair sat down:
Me: Hi, mind if I sit?
Her: Sure.
Me, (looking at cage full of kids): Why do they remind me of the monkey house at ...(name of local zoo)?
Her: briefly looking then me then laughed
Me: How many do you have in there?
Her: One. You?
Me: Two, I think. No wait, was it one or two? I dunno, say two.
As we began to open up, guess what? Her husband arrived. Lesson: How awkward would I have felt if I'd have just said, 'Hey you look cute'....?
Anyway, since I follow Jugglers advice about simply being a cool guy who people like it wasn't a real problem, I was able to pull him in and it was cool. But guess what? I still blushed!
I'm 44 years old, and I still do this!

Keep it up mate.

Excuse me, let's talk because I think you're cute.
I wouldn't open with a rewarding compliment unless I knew I could deliver the reward appropriately. Think about it this way: rewards are more effective when used to support activity. Rewards that are freely given are inherently gratuitous. For your purposes, however, it doesn't matter.

I have a boyfriend.
When I encounter the boyfriend defense, or any talk about boyfriends for that matter, I ignore the subject altogether. I'm interested in the girl, not her boyfriend, and I'm going to establish that interest even if her boyfriend sucker punches me from behind. At least, that's how I think about it.

HB 9.2 (did all the talking)
She's the alpha female. You can use that to your advantage for either girl.

I walked with them back to their dorms since they lived near me and I got their numbers.
Both of their numbers? Or are they roommates?

good stuff man. I say keep up with the compliment opener for a while at least. You seem to be congruent with it and reasonably attractive, so Im sure you can go far. Nice to see someone involved in a lair and the likes not sargin like a robot or has the manual in his wallet.

Great stuff Brak Hope to read more of it : P

Sunday, October 29

Not a good day at all for sarging. I met up with thefonz again at the pru (he was an hour and a half late :trouble: but I was not mad). I wasnt feeling it that day and waiting didn't help. To top it off, there was NO ONE in the goddamn mall. I made two pathetic approaches and I'm a little down on myself. But that's ok. Let me state that I was not disappointed from the girls' reactions, but I was disappointed because I felt like I took a step backwards instead of improving. I am very hard on myself and I expect to continually improve.

I saw a girl in a shop looking at creams, candles, and all that girl stuff. She was pretty damn hot (HB 7.7) I appraoch her:

Me: Excuse me, but i saw you standing over here and I wanted to meet you because I thought you were cute.
Her: (laughing) uhhh alright (she doesn't even look at me)
Me:My name is Daniel, what's yours?
Her: (i think she said lindsey)
Me: O well it was nice meeting you lindsey
Her: alright

she never once looked at me. Even when i reached out to shake her hand she just kinda flopped her hand out there.

I see another hot chick (HB 7.9) at Barnes and noble.

Me: Excuse me, but i saw you reading over here and i wanted to meet you
Her: ohh thanks (she was very shy and i think she didn;t mind me approaching her)
Me: Whats your name>
Her: (illana) you?
Me: brak86. So do you go to school around here?
Her: yeah, i go to northwestern
Me: Awesome i know a few people there
Her: cool. Alright well it was nice meeting you
Me: You too

Right when i leave, a guy goes up to her and talks to her(i'm guessing it was her bf). Even though i didnt do well, im glad this happened because I've always had the fear of approaching a girl whose boyfriend is nearby). I saw both of them later but they werent together. Didnt know what to make of it.

Disappointing, I know. But I'm never gonna stop. Next time I'll just try harder.

Thursday November 2nd,

I met up with 6 guys from the lair and we went to Harvard square. That place is pretty target rich. We split up into 2 groups of three and sarged.

Approached a girl with Gil:

Me:Excuse me, we need a female opinion on something
Her(looking confused): uhhh ok..
Me: He's taking a girl out on a first date and he wants to take her to the aquarium. I don't think thats a good place, but what do you think?
Her: uhh well would she like that>?
Gil: I don't really know her cause I've just met her
Her: ohh well do YOU like the aquarium?
Gil: Yeah i do
Her: well yea then ithink it would be a good place

I dont remember what else we said, but it faltered so we ejected.

We approached another 2 set with the aquarium opener(both weren't that great looking), but it was very short and i dont remember what little we all said.

I had my best appraoch at Urban Outfitters. I saw a cute girl (HB 7.2) reading some book by herself so i excuse myself from Miki and Gil and approach her (Even though i am not that great when i get into the set, I have to admit I am getting a ton better at being able to approach. My approach anxiety keeps decreasing which is awesome)! Keep in mind that this isnt the EXACT verbatim conversation, but this is the gist of it

Me: Hi, I saw you reading over here and I just wanted to meet you.
Her (very soft-spoken and shy): ohh thank you (she has an accent)
Me: I like your accent, what is it?
Her: Finnish
Me: Ohh cool. I've been around Europe but never to Finland. Have you gone to a lot of countries in Europe since you are so close?
Her: No, Ive been to Spain, Germany, and England
Me: thats awesome. I've was in Madrid last year because I'm learning Spanish. Do you know any other languages>?
Her: Well i speak german too
Me: Cool, well It seems like every European person knows atleast 3 languages. American people only know English ahaha.
Her: ahah yes
Me: Well I enjoyed talking to you, can I get your number?
Her: (She was thinking for a bit as if she was considering giving me her number, but she told me she had a boyfriend)
Me: ok well it was nice meeting you *touched her on the shoulder*

This was my best FR by far. I noticed that in this one, instead of trying to act all cool I was a lot more talkative. I guess in most of my previous FRs I tried to act "relaxed" by not exuding enough energy. I am not a loud person by nature so it is very hard to act all energetic and talkative. But I've noticed that you have to be chatty and you need to actively demonstrate your personality.

My friend (who is a very talkative guy) visited me this weekend and I noticed something interesting about him. He generally cares about little things that happen to him and he tells people about them. Heres an example of what he told me:

He was on a camping trip with other college students and they had been hiking for miles without food. They were supposed to meet up with a counselor who had a lot of candy, but when they met up with the counselor, he had no candy left because the group before them ate all the candy.

If it was me, I would have thought it to be quite disappointing/funny but I would have never thought about telling this anecdote to other people. I just wouldn't have thought it interesting enough to tell. But I noticed that when my friend told me this story, he was genuinely upset about not getting any candy. He was shocked and truly disappointed that he hiked for so long only to find out that there was no candy left. This guy is not effeminate at all, but it almost seemed to me that while he was talking he was talking like a girl would: very energetically conversating about things that aren't really that important. I do not know how i should try to emulate this guy or not. There's a fine line between trying to become someone else and trying to incorporate another persons desirable traits into your own.

The last set I did was a 5 set. I was a bit anxious at first but me and another guy (miki) said "what the hell" and did it. We opened with the aquarium opener and pretty much got blown out. One of the girls said "why don't you ask that guy," (pointing to a guy sitting on the sidewalk playing the drums on buckets).

I know its hard to notice it over this forum. But with each FR I am getting more and more comfortable. It'll take time, but i have to be patient.

Brak - this is awesome - very useful stuff! I'm just starting Week 2 of Bootcamp, and it's great to see these detailed rehashings of real life situations. Keep it up!

Oh, one line that occured to me:

Her: ahah yes
Me: Well I enjoyed talking to you, can I get your number?
Her: (She was thinking for a bit as if she was considering giving me her number, but she told me she had a boyfriend)
Me: ok well it was nice meeting you *touched her on the shoulder*

Click to expand...

You: (with big, sly smile) Well, I'm not asking for your BOYFRIEND'S phone number...

You had her hesitating there - why not push it a bit and see what happens? Where I come from, you have to offer a person something sweet three times before they accept.

Best,
Oldboy

Oldboy said:

Brak - this is awesome - very useful stuff! I'm just starting Week 2 of Bootcamp, and it's great to see these detailed rehashings of real life situations. Keep it up!

Oh, one line that occured to me:



You: (with big, sly smile) Well, I'm not asking for your BOYFRIEND'S phone number...

You had her hesitating there - why not push it a bit and see what happens? Where I come from, you have to offer a person something sweet three times before they accept.

Best,
Oldboy

Click to expand...

I really appreciate it Oldboy. Keep up what you're doing and eventually you'll get there. I like that line but right now when I'm in a set its like i can't really think. Adrenaline kicks in and its like I dont consciously have power over what i say. Stuff just comes out of my mouth. I hope that as I keep approaching, I'll get more comfortable and I will be able to talk to the girl(s) like I talk to my friends without adrenaline kicking in.

Brak, in Urban Outfitters when you talked to the Finnish girl you should completly ignored her accent. Every single guy she talks to mentions her accent so she's heard it all before and you wern't saying anything interesting to her. The PUA is supposed to be the exception to the rule. So every AFC talks about her accent but you don't. Hope to see you Saturday.

Sunday November 5th

Great day. I didn't get a number, but I had a PUA "revelation" that I could only have learned in the field. The field is where you really learn. I met up with Mr. Awesome and kidlove from the lair (they hadn't gone out with the intent to approach EVER, so I felt like the wise teacher ahaha. I didn't really give them advice other than the fact that I pretty much forced Mr. Awesome to approach a girl studying in Barnes and Noble with an opinion opener because it was his first. But I have to give it up to Mr. Awesome and Kidlove. These guys were AWESOME on their first day. I'm pretty sure Mr. Awesome could have gotten two numbers had he asked.

Ok well on to my approaches. I warmed up by approaching a girl at Barnes and Noble:

Me: Hi, I noticed you reading over here and I wanted to meet you.
Her (not looking at me): uhh alright
Me: Do you go to school around here?
Her: No, I'm just visiting from Atlanta
Me: ahhh I thought you were from the south from your accent
Her: Well, atlanta is the south
Me: haaha no i meant like Texas
Her: ohhh...no im not
Me (i could tell this was going nowhere): alright, well it was nice meting you

Ok Direct Game isnt working for me now. I dont think it is the material, but I am just not confident enough to be congruent with the power of Direct Game.

We met up with Shadowfox, who is damn good. He has about 4 years of sarging under his belt, so he gives me an idea of what I can/want to achieve in regards to the game.

We went to another Barnes and Noble (at the prudential center). And immediately Shadowfox opened a 2 set. One girl was looking at a weird pop-up book and he immediately opens with "What is THAT?" He seemed to get a good response but I didnt stay with him for long. After all, I need to improve my OWN game :wave: (I learned later that shadowfox got coffee in the B&N cafe with a girl and got her number).

I walk to the cookbook section and I notice an Asian girl (HB 6.3) intently looking at the cookbooks. This is probably my first situational opener (i guess its opinion as well).

Me: Excuse me, I'm just starting to learn how to cook and I wanted to know if you knew of any good cookbooks for beginners.
Her: Yeah, definately. I love cooking. Why do you want to learn?
Me: Well I'm tired of just being able to cook scrambled eggs. I want to learn how to cook other foods cause its hard to eat healthy if you cant cook.
Her: ahaha yea, its hard to eat healthy if you CAN cook, too. (she then managed to point out at least 4 beginner cook books. I made a few comments here and there).
Me: Wow, you are such a cookbook nerd
Her: hahaha yea, I really like this kinda stuff for some reason.
Me: Well I like that you have an original interest.
Her: Yeah, I especially like southern food but the southern food here isn't very good.
Me:I know what you mean, I feel the same way with Mexican food.
Her: Yeah, that too. Well do you know of any restaurants that serve good southern food here? I've been wanting to find one. (Was this an IOI. At the tme I thought she was literally asking me to ask her out. But I don't know of any restaurants here because I am a college freshman and I just moved to boston).
Me: No, I just moved here.
Her: ohh, cool.
(the convo wasn't this short. It actually went for a pretty long time, but I forgot all that was said. She finally gave me a cookbook to take. As we had been talking for a good 8 minutes, a guy just randomly comes up next to HB 6.3. I was pretty sure it was her boyfriend.)
Him: dude, I bought that exact same book. It is awesome!
Me: Great, I'm such a retard when it comes to cooking. Well I really appreciate y'alls help.
Her: No problem. Good luck!

If I had approached direct I probably wouldn't have gotten such a long convo. Situational seems awesome, but I am not very good at it. A conversation can go off on SO many tangents. And its like I want to analyze everything. But I guess thats the beauty of the game/conversation: it is not meant to be scrutinized and examined so much because it is an art.

Next I went to the postcard section and saw a cute girl (HB 7.8) looking at birthday postcards:

Me: All of these cards are so corny
Her: haaha yeah
Me: Are you buying a card for a family member or friend?
Her: Friend, you?
Me: I'm buying it for a family member but none of these cards are good. I was thinking about just writing a card with my own words.
Her: Yeah, you should do that.
Me: Yeah well I havent seen my cousin in a looong time so it would be kind of awkward to write her a personal card.
Her: ahahahah (she actually laughed pretty loud. I didnt think it was that funny, but whatever . A guy then came into the postcard section and started talking to her. I'm pretty sure it was also her bf. What the hell is up with all the girls having boyfriends)?!?!?


I guess it was good I didnt use direct game on these last two girls or else the convo would have been much shorter, and it could have been awkward with the bfs there. But I will keep working on it because I like it. However, I'm going to work on all the openers to be "well-rounded." I've realized that for now alteast, I probably need to open a bit less straightforwardly. If you've read my previous posts, I have always been anxious about doing this because I feel that the girl KNOWS that I only want to talk to her to hit on her, therefore I prefer to use honest, direct game. But I've realized that IT DOESNT MATTER if the girl knows your true intent. Girls just like to be approached. As long as you dont use cheesy pick-up lines or you dont creep them out, you should be fine.

Thursday November 9th,

Met up with my friends Gil and Alex from the lair and we met at the BU Barnes&Noble. For some reason I was feeling more AA than usual. But Gil and Alex helped me through it. Me and Gil spotted a two set sitting at the B&N cafe. These girls (HB 8 and HB 8.5) were probably in their late 20s, maybe early 30s. One of them i thought was especially hot (I can be veeeryy attracted to older women sometimes :crazy: ). Keep in mind that the conversations are NOT exact. But they are pretty damn close. The gist is there, but its not word-for-word

I opened with the aquarium opener:

HB8 (the more talkative one): I'd love to go there, that'd be a great place!
Me: You think so? See, I disagreed with him, wouldn;t you all rather go on an action date like ice skating or rollerblading?
HB8: Well, it depends, it could make her self-conscious if she hasnt done that before
HB8.5: yeah i agree, it kinda depends on her, though.
Gil: Yeah, its just i dont really know her, I've only met her once.
HB8 Well, i like the aquarium but its pretty expensive
Gil: hahaha yea its like 18 bucks
HB8: Yeah. So why dont you describe her to me. What does she look like?
Gil: Well she has kinda dark blonde hair, shes around my height, I dont know much aboiut her personality since ive just met her...
HB8: yeah i think the aquarium is good. I'm a constant dater
HB 8.5: Yeah she goes on dates all the time
Me (looking at HB 8.5): hahaah well...whats the best date that YOU HAVE ever been on? (this is the first time i've consciously used ELICITING DESIRED FEELINGS when talking to a girl. It's cool when you begin to integrate new parts of the game into your arsenal :rockon: ).
HB 8.5 (thinking for awhile): Hmmm, thats a hard question...I really don't know.... (I missed a prime opportunity for a neg-hit/tease here. I should have said "You've been on a date before haven't you?" or "Have you even been on a date before?" But its easier to know what to do after the fact)...I think going to the aquarium and then going to dinner afterwards would be a good date.

I dont remember what happened but a minute or so later me and Gil foiund ourselves being COLD READ by HB 8.

HB8 (to Gil): I can tell you're more of hte artsy type. Not Georgio Armani but also not Euro Trash. Somewhere in the middle
Me: Wow, we have a Ms Cleo over here!
Them: ahahaha yea
Me: What about me? I want to be read
HB8: You're in the middle to, maybe a little bit more on the Armani side, but you both are good.
Me: pretty good, pretty good (i should have tried to COLD READ her. I should have said she reminded me of a powerpuff girl, but i hate "shoulda, coulda, wouldas"
Gil: Yeah, that seems pretty accurate
Me: Well alright y'all, thanks for the advice.
Girls: No problem!

Should I have asked for an Insta-date? They were pretty into it. Even though I look a few years older than I am (especially with the smooth outfit i was wearing ), I still am intimidated by the fact that I know they are older women and I am only 19 years old.

After this first approach, things got a lot easier.

I spotted another hottt girl (HB 8.4) sitting on a chair reading a book. I nonchalantly look at some books near her, pick one up, then sit down next to her. After a few minutes I say:

Me: Excuse me, I need a quick opinion on something?
Her (taking off her ipod headphones. I didnt even know that she was listening to an ipod!) Yeah?
Me: I have some free time again and I wanted to know if you could recommend any good books.
Her: Hmm....I dont know if you've heard of him but I really like this guy David Sedaris
Me: Yeah, I've heard of him. What is his style of writing?
Her: Well, I like that he uses a lot of humor in his books
Me: ahh cool....is it raunchy humor?
Her: nooo
Me: Cool, cause I read a book that my friend recommended and it was just so raunchy. At first it was kinda funny but then it was just ridiculous.
Her:Yeah I dont like raunchy humor. But I'd really recommend David Sedaris.
Me: Is Sedaris with a T or D?
Her: Sedaris...its with a D i think.
Me: Alriught awesoem...thanks a lot
Her: No problem.
I walked away then turned around
Me: Wait, is he fiction or non-fiction
Her: I think he's non-fiction but i'm not totallly sure ahaha.
Me: Cool, thanks.

Well....I'm learning, but I want to exude SEXUAL ENERGY. I know i need to touch more, transition into talking about different things, etc. but I'm taking it really slowly. I thiunk its a good plan.

Me, Gil, and alex were walking down the street and we got opened by a girl (we're handsome bastards, what can i say).

Her: Hey guys, do you know where _______ is?
Gil (or alex?): ahaha nope, sorry
Me: yeah i just moved here (Grrrr...i should have said: "is that your best pick up line?)

I did two more aquarium opener appraoches but I'm too lazy to write them down, haahah. It wasnt very interesting. I did one with a guy named Greg who met us later, and another with Gil.

Me, Greg, Alex and Gil were walking on a bridge to go to an MIT party and they bet me to open two girls saying (in a really stupid voice: "the pooweerrr to changgee lies WITHIN YOU). Needless to say, I did it to a 2 set

Me: Excuse me, girls
Girl #1: yeah?
Me:I just wanted to say that THE POWER TO CHANGE LIES WITHHHINN YOU!
Girl#1 (as they hurriedly walk away): Yeah, I'm sure it does.

I got three dollars for it!

I went to the MIT party and i just lost my confidence. I am TERRIBLE at parties. I just find it hard to integrate myself into a group of people who already know each other. I only did one approach. I was walking down a hall and I saw an asian girl (HB 5.6) with a hat on.

Me: Cool hat!
Her: ahah thanks.
Me: Is that a beret?
Her: ahha no...its some army hat I bought in texas.
Me: awesome! I'm from texas too....
(the talk wasn't interesting...i got self-conscious because it was hot in the building and i started sweating from my forehead. Does anyone know how to treat this? it gets annoying as hell).

Since I now go out into the field on a consistent basis, I am goiing to go back and start reading some material again so I can sharpen my skills.

Friday November 10

ARGGHHH I am so frustrated. I am banging my head against the wall! ****!
I was in the freshman gym (tiny gym), and there was a cute girl (hb 7.4) working behind the desk. She had a calculus book open so i opened her situationally:

Me: Are you in Professor ______'s class?
Her: Yeah
Me: haahah isn't he a dousche!?
Her: ahaha hes a terrible teacher!
Me: hahah How are you doing in his class?
Her: Terribly...what about you?
Me: Well, I took calculus last year so pretty well
Her: Ahhh! everyone took calcuylus last year except me. I should have
Me: hahaah yeah, if i didnt take calc last year I would be screwed right now
Her: By the way, Im _____
Me: I'm brak86....good to meet you michelle

We talked the whole time i worked out (about 40 minutes). We talked about europe, college, where shes from, etc. At one point during the convo, I realized that I should ask this girl for her number when i leave the gym. And when i started thinking about the number, i couldnt stop. In my head, I overanalyzed about how to ask for her number. I told myself I would do it.

But when i left, she said bye and I ****ing FROZE UP. I CANT BELIEVE IT. I know I know it for sure i could have gotten her number. She is also not one of those *****y, college girl types, shes cool, which means it probably wouldnt have been as hard to deal with her flaking/me escalating. I felt the attraction right there because the whole interaction was so natural. let me just cuss one more time before I start thinking rationally again instead of having my emotions take over.......****!

Alright, well now i want to look at the good news, because it is always better to realize what you did well and merely glance at what you failed to do so you can improve next time. I AM definately getting better at starting conversations naturally. I am being more open, friendly, and confident at opening. I wasnt creating sexual tension but I was generating great convo and I made her laugh a lot. I held eye contact.

I'm gonna go next friday again and chat her up some more (hopefully she'll be there at that time again). If I see her again, I WILL get her number.

I need to improve on number closing. I just get really anxious asking for a number, so a lot of times i dont do it. Call it a fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment, but it is a fear, and an irrational one. I will begin to overcome this obstacle from now on!

But when i left, she said bye and I ****ing FROZE UP. I CANT BELIEVE IT. I know I know it for sure i could have gotten her number. She is also not one of those *****y, college girl types, shes cool, which means it probably wouldnt have been as hard to deal with her flaking/me escalating.

Click to expand...

Yea, those girls are great. The down to earth ones.

Alright, well now i want to look at the good news, because it is always better to realize what you did well and merely glance at what you failed to do so you can improve next time. I AM definately getting better at starting conversations naturally. I am being more open, friendly, and confident at opening. I wasnt creating sexual tension but I was generating great convo and I made her laugh a lot. I held eye contact.

Click to expand...

I'm enjoying your progress dude. As im at Week 3 in the Bootcamp right now, I'm very inspired by how much u've done, and how u've transformed ur mental state, especially on keeping the conversations going and when ur feeling anxious to approach, you being able to do it anyways. I'm glad the situational stuff is working out for you, as ur not exactly hitting on them and at the same time its not really canned and indirect, but in the middle.

I myself will be in the Boston Area from the 20th and leave on the 25th, we should meet up during then. I'd join the lair but I will only be in Boston for during that time, as its my break from school. Want to do my prepatory week 4 there. Other than that, hope to hear more from you.

Heyjose25points said:

Yea, those girls are great. The down to earth ones.



I'm enjoying your progress dude. As im at Week 3 in the Bootcamp right now, I'm very inspired by how much u've done, and how u've transformed ur mental state, especially on keeping the conversations going and when ur feeling anxious to approach, you being able to do it anyways. I'm glad the situational stuff is working out for you, as ur not exactly hitting on them and at the same time its not really canned and indirect, but in the middle.

I myself will be in the Boston Area from the 20th and leave on the 25th, we should meet up during then. I'd join the lair but I will only be in Boston for during that time, as its my break from school. Want to do my prepatory week 4 there. Other than that, hope to hear more from you.

Click to expand...

dude....are you down for sarging next monday & tuesday? I'm leaving for home wednesday for thanksgiving but I'd love to sarge with you before if you are up for it.

im from boston too lol..........read Krassus's "30 second approach" thread if u want to learn how to properly cold approach chicks