Stood up ROYALLY

This is kind of funny, because I'm actually glad it happened, but at the same time it's a sad, sad testament to the mentality of women (especially the younger ones) carry today.

Last weekend the 22yo had made plans to come into town to visit me and her best friend. She seemed enthusiastic, going so far as to call or text me pretty much every day the whole week leading up to the weekend. Talked about wanting me to be her date for a birthday party, on and on and on.

I was willing to hang out with her, see what happens. She had disrespected me in the past, but I do everything I can to avoid burning bridges and still considered her to be a friend.

So Thursday night comes around and I return a text she had sent me earlier in the day. Immediately my phone rings, she asks if I am off on Saturday and she tells me that she is dropping someone off at the airport at 8:30 and that she is going to HAUL ASS and hoped to be here before noon. Then she said she had to go, and would call me Friday.

Now all week I had been getting a bad feeling about her coming to visit, mainly because I had a pretty good idea how things would go down (she was more interested in a free meal than chowing down on my man-meat) and I had a lot of work to do so she would just be a distraction. I was honestly hoping she would cancel.

But instead of canceling, Friday passes.....no call. Saturday comes. Noon, no show. Saturday night, nothing. Now it's Monday night and I haven't heard a peep.

I would be worried that something might have happened to her, but her best friend knew she was coming to town, and I would have heard something had there been some sort of a problem.

So I guess the bridge is burned. I could spend all day speculating as to what happened, but what good would it do? I have my theories, but after this post (hopefully other people can learn from) she deserves no more of my time or thoughts.

I now know that she indeed is NOT a friend. She's a selfish user and I have no place for people like that in my life. It's always disappointing to realize things like this about people who you like, but oh well. Now she has to live with the fact that she has lost someone that SHE considers to be a friend.

I wasn't even going to post about this, but after the discussion in the "Lump of Coal" thread I thought it was important to emphasize where I'm coming from when I say "Just walk away". Essentially, I know it wasn't anything on my part that caused her to do this, so I know that I still have "leverage" with her.

She values my attention and "friendship", so now that she is officially out of my life she will have to live with the fact that although if I ever happen to find myself in the same room as her I will be cordial, but I won't be contacting her nor returning any contact she tries to initiate. Women HATE to be socially ostracized. This is the best, no, make that the ONLY form of retribution to a "third strike you're out" situation.

My initial reaction was that of insult. As I said, I am actually glad she didn't show since I wasn't feeling it and had a lot of work to do, but I knew I had been disrespected nonetheless and my first instinct was to want to "let her have it", to somehow make her understand that I won't tolerate that kind of sh!t.

But I know better. Even though I still have a bit of leverage in the relationship, it isn't enough allow me to "put her in line". No matter what I would say or do, she would simply justify her actions in her own mind and send my "man stock" to penny status.

Yea, some women pretty much suck.

You didnt buy her plane ticket did you?

horaholic said:

You didnt buy her plane ticket did you?

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Hell no. She was supposed to drive.

She has been bugging me to drive down and stay with her for a weekend.....fukk that. Really glad I didn't.

She had disrespected me in the past

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The leopard does not change its spots.

I now know that she indeed is NOT a friend. She's a selfish user

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This is like the person who goes swimming in shark infested waters and then cries out when he's attacked by the sharks.

Out of curiosity, did you try to contact her at all over the weekend?

Mr. Me said:

The leopard does not change its spots.

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Tru dat. I should have known better, but I honestly thought that she got the point that her minor transgressions of the past would be overlooked, but I only tolerate so much. I did this WITHOUT losing my cool, in a subtle way, and I could tell that it did sink in. I know that she got the message, so this goes to show exactly where I stand on her totem pole. Now I know.

horaholic said:

Out of curiosity, did you try to contact her at all over the weekend?

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No. I'm not going to go into my speculations as to what happened, but as I mentioned I was getting a bad feeling during her contact with me throughout the week. I almost expected some crazy BS.

DonS said:

Are you ****ing pulling my chain? You consider cutting low-class slobs who disrespect you out of your life to be burning a bridge? **** dude, come on. You are better than that. The only thing worse than tolerating this bull**** is the vibe you must be putting off that lets girls think that disrespecting you is even an option.

And you wonder why she stood you up?

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For me it's two strikes and you're out. In retrospect I did let it go on too long, but now it's done. I know who I'm dealing with and I don't want to hear any of her excuses. Let some other shlub deal with it.

STR8UP said:

She had disrespected me in the past,

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This is key here.

In what way did she disrespect you before? What kind of relationship did you have with her when she disrespected you? How was it addressed?

Bro, you been at this long enough to know that a real friendship with women is something that does not exist. Their idea of friendship and a mans idea of friendship are two totally different things.

How many women do you know that have been lifelong friends with more then one or two people? Hell, even one person?

Most of them have friends that suit their moods or their situation at that particular time of their lives. They dont bond like men do and they dont feel the same sense of loyalty to people that men do. They change friends like they do underwear. They cut friends for the smallest transgressions. They compete with their friends in some of the most wrathful ways imaginable.

I learned a long time ago that women as friends are never real mates. They are acquaintances with tits who I might hang out with from time to time. They have no sense of loyalty, they are selfish and they add almost zero value to your life when you need them most.

Keep them around if you are ****ing them, want to **** them, or having them around helps you **** other women. Other then that, its a waste of time and energy IMO.

You knew this though and were not even surprised it happened. I sympathise dude. Its amazing how the longer you play this game the less it surprises you eh? Yet we still keep hoping that some bird is going to prove us wrong. I still get that feeling sometimes. The "well maybe you should just give this chick a chance and all"

Mr. Me said:

The leopard does not change its spots.

This is like the person who goes swimming in shark infested waters and then cries out when he's attacked by the sharks.

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There are more cliche's in this post than Carter's got pills.

STR8UP, my brother, don't fret this idiot broad. She gets a momentary high from making plans only to receive an even smaller dividend of gloating by not following through.

She's fvcking herself and her reputation. Let this b!tch sink to the bottom.

KarmaSutra said:

There are more cliche's in this post than Carter's got pills.

STR8UP, my brother, don't fret this idiot broad. She gets a momentary high from making plans only to receive an even smaller dividend of gloating by not following through.

She's fvcking herself and her reputation. Let this b!tch sink to the bottom.

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Str8up, I agree with Karma...this gal has no class.

Basically, she's failed the quality test. Don't give her a second thought.

Be thankful, you know this now with little vested. Imagine the poor bastard that ends up attached to hip with this bloodsucker.

Life is grand, isn't it? Savour your freedom.

Definitely send her a lump of coal, am I right guys? ;-))

A lump of freshly churned nutbutter sliding down from her eyebrow, unintentionally, glueing her eyes shut is a much more memorable gift.

STR8UP said:

Yea, some women pretty much suck.

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Isn’t this the girl that you wanted to come stay at your house for two months just so you could bang her? The lesson here should be that to pursue women with only one thing in mind often results in a less than desirable outcome.

potato said:

Isn’t this the girl that you wanted to come stay at your house for two months just so you could bang her? The lesson here should be that to pursue women with only one thing in mind often results in a less than desirable outcome.

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Yea... you might not get that "one thing".... definately a less then desirable outcome. Unfortunately, in a binary situation, its the only other possible outcome and the one that would result if you didn't go for that "one thing"- so your point is completely meaningless.

Oh and Str8up- keep in in mind that she's gonna try to lure you into the "losing" position again with sex/promise of sex- namely one where you forgive/forget her past indescritions in exchange for sexual favors. So your options are:

1. Puss out and take this exchange at face value
2. Pump and Dump (ie make her feel like a whorre..... which probably won't mean much to her since she sounds like one anyway)
3. Refuse- and make her feel ugly (which will only last until the next chump validates her)
4. Accept and get her wasted enough that she'll do crazy humilating **** that give you the power "edge" psychologically from this point forward ie tossing salad, yellow shower, etc. (Oh GOD... I can't BELIEVE I did that..... with HIM!!!!)

Let us know how it goes!

Hooligan Harry said:

Bro, you been at this long enough to know that a real friendship with women is something that does not exist. Their idea of friendship and a mans idea of friendship are two totally different things.

How many women do you know that have been lifelong friends with more then one or two people? Hell, even one person?

Most of them have friends that suit their moods or their situation at that particular time of their lives. They dont bond like men do and they dont feel the same sense of loyalty to people that men do. They change friends like they do underwear. They cut friends for the smallest transgressions. They compete with their friends in some of the most wrathful ways imaginable.

I learned a long time ago that women as friends are never real mates. They are acquaintances with tits who I might hang out with from time to time. They have no sense of loyalty, they are selfish and they add almost zero value to your life when you need them most.

Keep them around if you are ****ing them, want to **** them, or having them around helps you **** other women. Other then that, its a waste of time and energy IMO.

You knew this though and were not even surprised it happened. I sympathise dude. Its amazing how the longer you play this game the less it surprises you eh? Yet we still keep hoping that some bird is going to prove us wrong. I still get that feeling sometimes. The "well maybe you should just give this chick a chance and all"

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I agree with you on this one. All my so called female friends only call when they want something. I rarly ever answer the phone or call back unless they leave a voicemail stating they have a party they want me to come too or a friend for me.

I got one question. Why do females stand you up and think nothing of it, but when you stand them up they loose their minds. They will only apologize if you put them in thier place but if you don't say anything they will act like they didn't know you two were suppose to meet yesterday at 8pm.

Now days I don't make plans anymore. I just call them, ask what they are doing and then let them know I'm on my way.

A woman's "right to change her mind".

Women are starting to realize just how much power they have over lesser men and they're starting to test the lengths to which they can abuse it. She didn't count on STR8.

This one will learn her lesson before the end.

If it were me, I wouldn't answer any calls/E-mails/anything. I take commitments very seriously. It's one thing to stay noncommittal and not know for sure whether you're coming or have something else to do. But to say you're going to be somewhere and then not show is unforgiveable. As my first job said in the employee handbook, "A NO-SHOW NO-CALL IS GROUNDS FOR TERMINATION". I try to live by that.

STR8UP said:

Last weekend the 22yo had made plans to come into town to visit me and her best friend. She seemed enthusiastic, going so far as to call or text me pretty much every day the whole week leading up to the weekend. Talked about wanting me to be her date for a birthday party, on and on and on.

I was willing to hang out with her, see what happens. She had disrespected me in the past, but I do everything I can to avoid burning bridges and still considered her to be a friend.

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If you read this quote above, from a distance, you will see how she set you up to be a'wishin and a'hoping ,while she set up a few other options and then chose one which was NOT you.

Because you apply a misguided " I don't burn bridges" policy, you allowed yourself to continue playing into her games instead of losing her number long ago.

" I don't burn bridges" translates to " I will continues to befriend any chick regardless of her past bad behavior because she just MIGHT get naked with me one night ".

Frankly STR8uP, you ought to be doing a whole lot better that this.
You were outplayed dude, by a 22 year old brat.

hundred bucks says str8up posts about his chick again (for the millionth fukking time) about how he contacted her, after she texted him full of remorse....or some other jacked up scenario....

Aenigma said:

potato said:

Isn’t this the girl that you wanted to come stay at your house for two months just so you could bang her? The lesson here should be that to pursue women with only one thing in mind often results in a less than desirable outcome.

Click to expand...

Yea... you might not get that "one thing".... definately a less then desirable outcome. Unfortunately, in a binary situation, its the only other possible outcome and the one that would result if you didn't go for that "one thing"- so your point is completely meaningless.

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blueblue said:

Does anyone ask these chicks why they flake? What do they want that they are not getting? Is everyone supposed to be an expert in mind reading?

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samspade said:

Good question. Unfortunately, I don't think there is any way to lay down the law without coming across as frustrated and eager. The reason flakes are flakes is simple: They care less than you, and they aren't even concerned with being polite enough to cancel on you. So by trying to call them out on it, you are just demonstrating this disparity and nothing more.

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Much of the problem is that STR8UP has repeatedly gone after this chick for the stated purpose of getting laid. She more than likely knows this and takes the attitude that STR8UP will always have that desire. It results in a rather empty relationship – with each just seeing what they can get from the other. To just blame the girl for “bad behavior” is rather short sighted.

STR8UP said:

But instead of canceling, Friday passes.....no call. Saturday comes. Noon, no show. Saturday night, nothing. Now it's Monday night and I haven't heard a peep.

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So, which Plate did you go ƒuck instead of waiting around for this flake?