Stop putting yourselves in bad situations...

...and then expecting SoSuave to bail you out. :kick:

You wouldn't jump out of the plane, then yell to the instructor in free-fall, "Oh sh** I forgot to strap on my parachute! What can I do to salvage this situation??"

SoSuave can't work miracles.


Don't bareback any girl you wouldn't trust with your life and your child's life.

Don't let girls move in with you (and for GOD'S SAKE don't move in with a girl) unless you're planning to marry her.

Don't let psycho chicks get their hooks in you just because the sex is good.

Don't fall victim to female shaming/coercion tactics.

Don't get emotionally attached too early.


There are others...but DO YOUR PART before you come asking SoSuave how to salvage a total disaster of a situation. It brings down the whole mood of the forum to see so many hopeless cases running around and makes us all bitter, misogynistic twits when all we hear is hopeless cases.

Chances are you know you F'd up...and HOW you f'd up. Swallow your pride, take your beating, cut the line, and move on, trying NOT to make the same mistakes again.

Good advice... We all do our part in a failed situation and blaming someone else who isn't even around anymore is useless.

Mods please make this a sticky!

In other words what you're saying is an "ounce of prevention is worth
a pound of cure" - Benjamin Franklin.

Its so true and if we can just learn how to not get ourselves
in a mess in the first place we wouldn't have half our issues with
women.

EXACTLY!!

you can learn from others mistakes.

for example: you dont need to do coke if already you know how addicting it can be.

I think you should add

Don't have sex with any woman without a condom PERIOD!

Doesn't matter if it's an LTR, doesn't matter if she says she's on birth control. You play russian roulette with your life everytime you have sex without a condom. The simple fact that women constantly trap men by allowing themselves to get pregnant should be enough warning. She has the power to pull the trigger on your life and ruin it at any time.

f283000 said:

I think you should add

Don't have sex with any woman without a condom PERIOD!

Doesn't matter if it's an LTR, doesn't matter if she says she's on birth control. You play russian roulette with your life everytime you have sex without a condom. The simple fact that women constantly trap men by allowing themselves to get pregnant should be enough warning. She has the power to pull the trigger on your life and ruin it at any time.

Click to expand...

Meh...I guess. My personal take on it is that the only reason to get married in today's world is to provide a cohesive "family unit" for raising kids.

So if you're planning to breed anyway, rubbering up isn't necessarily a must.

Reminds me of a commercial I saw for preventing teen pregnancy...a mother scolding her child, "If you are going to have sex, you better be ready to be a father. You can't even keep your ROOM clean!"

squirrels said:

...and then expecting SoSuave to bail you out. :kick:

You wouldn't jump out of the plane, then yell to the instructor in free-fall, "Oh sh** I forgot to strap on my parachute! What can I do to salvage this situation??"

SoSuave can't work miracles.


Don't bareback any girl you wouldn't trust with your life and your child's life.

Don't let girls move in with you (and for GOD'S SAKE don't move in with a girl) unless you're planning to marry her.

Don't let psycho chicks get their hooks in you just because the sex is good.

Don't fall victim to female shaming/coercion tactics.

Don't get emotionally attached too early.


There are others...but DO YOUR PART before you come asking SoSuave how to salvage a total disaster of a situation. It brings down the whole mood of the forum to see so many hopeless cases running around and makes us all bitter, misogynistic twits when all we hear is hopeless cases.

Chances are you know you F'd up...and HOW you f'd up. Swallow your pride, take your beating, cut the line, and move on, trying NOT to make the same mistakes again.

Click to expand...

Part of the reason is the division of people in the forum. The veteran group is "supposedly" way ahead of the rest, and they are only here to give advice and even if they act like AFCs sometimes, they refuse to acknowledge it. (see the recent posts on opening a car door for a woman, or " I hate women who play innocent when they screw up" ..

Well, the second division comes here out of desperation, so they are most of the time hopeless cases as you say.

This is the drawback of "forum"ing, because everybody becomes a "character" as soon as they write something, and their ego gets in the way.

I don't think even the veterans (except maybe a few exceptions) here are constantly "spinning plates", or they are dating multiple women. Even if they are, the tirades against newcomers are usually very sketchy, details are always absent or not taken into consideration.

Whenever I read a wise post about how it's best to NEXT and move on, it really saddens me to discover that the guy who's giving the advice is engaged to some girl and he's 26...

Well, isn't this a grand example of hypocritical rationalization?!

It's never clear HOW TO do things in Sosuave, it's just feeble terminology and same cliches over and over again...


So, don't blame the newcomers, it's not entirely their fault.

Boilermaker said:

This is the drawback of "forum"ing, because everybody becomes a "character" as soon as they write something, and their ego gets in the way.

It's never clear HOW TO do things in Sosuave, it's just feeble terminology and same cliches over and over again...

So, don't blame the newcomers, it's not entirely their fault.

Click to expand...

I think BM has a point here. The DJ bible and other material does a nice job of painting an image of a dateable guy and providing some guidelines to male-female interaction. It fails as a self-diagnostic -- it doesn't talk about pattern recognition, it can't pin down what you need to improve most, it can't pin down what you're doing right.

This is the document I'd like to see. A plan to self-assessment --> identification of symptoms --> explanation of causes --> corrections to be carried out. Of course this verges on actual legit psychology, which is maybe above the scope of this forum.

Where do you guys get your personal outside advice from? In all honesty... i don't really get any, That is probably a liability.

wait_out said:

I think BM has a point here. The DJ bible and other material does a nice job of painting an image of a dateable guy and providing some guidelines to male-female interaction. It fails as a self-diagnostic -- it doesn't talk about pattern recognition, it can't pin down what you need to improve most, it can't pin down what you're doing right.

This is the document I'd like to see. A plan to self-assessment --> identification of symptoms --> explanation of causes --> corrections to be carried out. Of course this verges on actual legit psychology, which is maybe above the scope of this forum.

Where do you guys get your personal outside advice from? In all honesty... i don't really get any, That is probably a liability.

Click to expand...

Unfortunately for most people I think its something you have to figure out for yourself. I have friends that will lament about their women problems, but the minute I point out any shortcomings they have, they bristle and get defensive. It's all stupid b1tches fault! Or I have friends who barely make an effort and complain that women's standards are too high. Me, I had to realize that my bitterness about my ex and my child was "salting my game" (screwing me up in the dating scene). Also I realized that I just have to lose weight if I want to attract more women, and I have to be more outgoing. Mainly self analysis.

If you have good friends you trust, ask them. I think if they really know you won't retaliate or get defensive they might tell you exactly what you are doing wrong. Nobody wants to be the bearer of bad news.

But for the most part, its just a matter of self examination.

Advice for some is not always applicable to another.
Mainly because of:
The state of their frame.
Choice of woman
Their position in the relationship.
The ability to get girls.
Availability of other girls at hand.
Strength of Ego.
State of mind
Employment situation
Finances
Etc
So you are never going to tick all the boxes. That's why next becomes the popular route. Sometimes it is easier to start again from a stronger position, then to waste more time on a losing one. Unless the post contains your life story then you will get the basic advice. Or the best posters can offer given their experience. One small detail can change the direction of the advice.

Part of the reason is the division of people in the forum. The veteran group is "supposedly" way ahead of the rest, and they are only here to give advice and even if they act like AFCs sometimes, they refuse to acknowledge it. (see the recent posts on opening a car door for a woman, or " I hate women who play innocent when they screw up" ..

Click to expand...

Vets are not infallible. And your view point is just as valid as anyone else’s if you are drawing from life experiences.

It's never clear HOW TO do things in Sosuave

Click to expand...

That's because everyone has different personality traits. You get basic guidelines to work with and incorporate what fits into your life. Even if most guys got detailed drawings into exactly what they should do, they would still complain it's not enough info. A bit of self driven effort is required.

It fails as a self-diagnostic -- it doesn't talk about pattern recognition, it can't pin down what you need to improve most, it can't pin down what you're doing right.

Click to expand...

Trial and error baby. And like Warrior said "self examination".

Dating multiple women exposes where your weaknesses are. Problem is most guys shy away from it and just work on themselves. Or overanalyze themselves into paralysis. Social skills are just as important, if not one of the most important things to develop. Guys will pump an islands worth of weight, learn mma and put their body through hell, take on new and dangerous hobbies etc. But if you are just doing these things to get girls - well there are easier ways of going about it. Meeting women is pretty simple. Changing whatever is stuck in your head is the hard part.
Don't turn something easy into a 'can't do'.

The DJ Bible (same as the Mature Men forum) is not a hand holding how-to guide, and it shouldn't. The best it can offer is a new perspective, a new direction and hints on the things you can do to improve your life & success with women. You have to work out the details on how to get from A to B by yourself.

A basic value of SS and the forum is that when you are emotionally involved in something or someone it is not always easy to see clearly. It is why teams have coaches and businesses have managers. Because they stand “outside” the situation or action. Are they always correct? No because all situations and people are different, but can they offer an independent view? Yes they can. That is where the value of the forum is and that cannot be fully found in the Bible or in life because a single person cannot live all experiences, and because a single person makes mistakes even when he knows all the rules.

Countermart

Boilermaker said:

Part of the reason is the division of people in the forum. The veteran group is "supposedly" way ahead of the rest, and they are only here to give advice and even if they act like AFCs sometimes, they refuse to acknowledge it. (see the recent posts on opening a car door for a woman, or " I hate women who play innocent when they screw up" ..

Well, the second division comes here out of desperation, so they are most of the time hopeless cases as you say.

This is the drawback of "forum"ing, because everybody becomes a "character" as soon as they write something, and their ego gets in the way.

I don't think even the veterans (except maybe a few exceptions) here are constantly "spinning plates", or they are dating multiple women. Even if they are, the tirades against newcomers are usually very sketchy, details are always absent or not taken into consideration.

Whenever I read a wise post about how it's best to NEXT and move on, it really saddens me to discover that the guy who's giving the advice is engaged to some girl and he's 26...

Well, isn't this a grand example of hypocritical rationalization?!

It's never clear HOW TO do things in Sosuave, it's just feeble terminology and same cliches over and over again...


So, don't blame the newcomers, it's not entirely their fault.

Click to expand...

Nothing to add. Just agreeing with this.

Dear Ken Chang,
Nice to see you here,something on the scene in your neck of the Wild Woods would be very welcome.