The Power of Priorities

Admirable as the mastery of seduction may be, you have to wonder how much of a priority it should take in our lives.

At one extreme we have the Average Frustrated Chump. Too lazy and scared to sort out his love life, he opts to retreat within himself or settle for the first chick that spreads her legs.

At the other end of the spectrum, there's the Average Fornicating Chump, who juggles so many plates he belongs in a circus, but ultimately has little more to show for the effort than physical pleasure.

Neither one is capable of finding the middle ground until they face some tough questions about reality and life, ultimately forcing them to prioritize and understand what is really important.

We all have different ideals, but there is a common-sense "ABC" to living well that remains a mystery to the illiterate.

I. Know Yourself

In today's society, this is no small feat. We are so busy with our distractions and entertainment, eyes ever pointed 0utward, that we become strangers to ourselves.

I find it ironic how easy it is for folks to recount their favorite TV episodes, but when you ask them anything personal they clam right up. Well, duh! They are more in tune with fiction than their own reality!

It's the same deal with relationships.. you pour all your energy into someone else and totally neglect your own needs. When that person finally loses respect for your doormat ass and leaves, it should come as no surprise that you have no reason to live.

When you are not in tune with who you are, catastrophe is inevitable!

A wise man loves entertainment/sex as much as the next man, but in understanding his own spirit and mission, he has enough perspective to put his diversions in their place.

Pop Quiz
• What do I absolutely love doing?
• What do I really want to accomplish with my life?
• Where do I see myself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
• What can't I live without?
• What do I refuse to live with?
• Who do I look up to and why?
• What is holding me back right now, and why do I tolerate it?

II. Believe in Yourself

A positive mental attitude is paramount to success. You can have all the talent and ambition in the world but without faith it will only get you so far.

Society encourages us to believe strongly in things outside ourselves.. be it god, career, or whatever it is you worship on a daily basis. But religion does not necessarily equal faith!

Just ask Jesus:

JC said:

"...for verily I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you"

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Belief is what sets us free from doubt, and gives us wings to fly. But true faith is not microwaveable.. there is no Shake n' Faith!

Mustard seeds are pretty damn tiny. However, given the proper nurturing and care, they become magnificent trees. And like any organic process this take time and nurturing. To take root and grow, faith requires a the steadfast light of persistence and the fertile soil of imagination.

We have a tendency to look at our heroes and think that they were born into greatness, yet the people who inspire the most came from nothing, except their own stubborn belief that they could make sh!t happen.

Only when we truly believe, will we know freedom and laugh at the word "impossible"!

Pop Quiz
• Who and what do I believe in?
• Who believes in me?
• What am I most proud of?
• What am I most ashamed of?
• What are my strengths and weaknesses?
• What gives me hope?
• What am I thankful for?

III. Love, & Respect Yourself

Drive and focus are essentially worthless without compassion and self-esteem.

When women or monetary success are your primary sources of validation and worth, you run the risk of losing everything in one fell swoop. Take away the floozies and cash and what are you left with? Besides the ability to generate immediate gratification, what honestly makes you special?

Self respect cannot be worn, sold or pimped out. It grows from within, each time you overcome a challenge or make a sacrifice for the better. It is the act of embracing your significant self - devoting your life to things that actually matter and make a difference in your world.

It should never be confused with ego, which is actually destructive to one's self because it blinds us to the work we still have left to do.

This principle extends to all areas of your life, mind body and soul. So take a good look in the mirror and make sure that what you feel is genuine love and admiration, from within.

Pop Quiz
• Do I take care of myself and my health? Am I fit?
• Am I lovable?
• Do I get offended/hurt when people flake on me?
• Am I worthy of my aspirations?
• Do I get defensive when teased?
• Do I really learn from my mistakes, or just beat myself up constantly?
• Am I having fun playing this game, or is it all about winning?

Further reading and discussion

IV. Spread Love

All too often I get emails from guys who are trying to date HB10's, but have literally no social life. Great idea! Let's build the attic before we've finished the foundation! :crazy:

Friends play a vital role in our development. If we are not regularly kicking it and having a grand old time with people, our social muscles go lax and we develop anxieties, especially around women.

The trick is knowing who to befriend - If you have a handful of people who you can always count on for support and morale, who dont judge you or flee at the first sign of trouble, then count yourself fortunate, because you have successfully built a family.

Hot babes come and go, but your fams is there through thick and thin. Depending on someone you don't even know for emotional support is not even a consideration because you've learned to invest your energy wisely.

Pop Quiz
• How many people would I consider my friends?
• Who has really proven their loyalty to me?
• What criteria do I have for friendship?
• When was the last time I had belly laughs with someone?
• Do I feel comfortable talking about ANYTHING with my people?
• Can my friends give/take constructive criticism?
• Do we all give and receive equally?

V. Get Some Good Lovin

I can't deny its importance, but notice how its not at the top .

What's great about having these priorities is that they act as healthy filters. A man with high self esteem and lots of personal work done is able to recognize the signs of a quality, low-maintenance woman. I posted this in another thread, but think it deserves reiteration.

HIGH MAINTENANCE GIRL
• Enjoys stirring up a sh!t storm and then watching people clean up her mess.
• Gets a kick out of watching people on a downward spiral.
• Selfish and incapable of real love cause her ego gets in the way.
• Never satisfied which is why she depends on you so much for satisfaction.
• Annoying sense of entitlement, like the world owes her a favor
• Usually very jealous and possessive
• Tries to wear the pants in the relationship
• Holds grudges forever

LOW MAINTENANCE WOMAN
• Considerate of other people's feelings.
• Enjoys helping people out, especially friends and fams.
• Makes an effort to reciprocate everything you do for her.
• Internally fulfilled and loves herself.
• Has her own circle of friends and gives you space.
• Trusts you implicitly
• Knows her place as a woman
• Forgives easily

It seems like common sense, but you'd be surprised how many guys will stick with a girl just because she looks fine. Prioritize and gain perspective of the bigger picture, it will prove indispensable in avoiding the deep ruts sprinkled along your path.

Relationships are covered more in-depth here.

VI. Pulling it All Together

This is something I wrote for myself over 10 years ago after a really bad breakup.. I just found it on an old Zip disk - it's what inspired this post:

==================================================

Personal Manifesto
• Excel and make a living with all my talents (design, music, programming)
• Learn a new language, or three
• Travel the world
• Learn to dance
• Be a total manwh0re
• Spend time alone and be productive
• Build furniture and sculpt for fun
• Study, meditate and evolve spiritually
• Meet a great woman to build a family with
• Teach my children all the lessons I learned the hard way
• Retire young with a boatload of money
• Buy some land and build a house with my own hands
• Learn to farm and harvest crops
• Build a Youth Center in my old neighborhood
• Look back on it all and die happy

==================================================

Notice how women were not my main objective and everything else is motivated by a desire for significance. It's humbling to see how much work is left to be done, but it's also encouraging to see that I am right where I need to be.

It also shows me that destiny does not just "happen", it's the course we methodically plot for ourselves.

This is no mission for the weak of heart. It takes a lot of balls and dedication, but with practice, faith and discipline, we find that navigation becomes effortless.

There is no limit to what is possible once you BElieve, REALize, and MANifest!

Agreed.

This is very good info Fingers and a testament to a man who not only talks the talk but takes a jog with his advice as well.

Just as Victory Unlimited's Campaigns,The Karmic Laws, Rollo's Awakenings, Dobransky's MindOS models, Interceptors' Manifesto, Crowley's Magick, Senor Fingers' Pathworkings and every other myriad of self exploration. It's about growth. The infinite power you hold over the choices you make and the decisions you can live with.

They're all different paths leading to the same end; The realization and expectation of your own maturity and Boundary Respect.

Don't use any of these as a definitive. Instead use all of these methodologies as a torch light to activate dormant circuits within your own mind.

Once you've realized how miniscule the interaction with women truly is you'll then realize the greatest magnet of women is confidence in your own sexuality and your acceptance of purpose.

This thread can be viewed as a map where one can start here, and after much self assurance, acknowledgment and reasoning, will lead to X where the treasure can be found. The treasure being a complete shift of your consiousness from boy-man to Alpha / Superior Man.

KarmaSutra said:

Once you've realized how miniscule the interaction with women truly is you'll then realize the greatest magnet of women is confidence in your own sexuality and your acceptance of purpose.

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Beautiful insight, Karma!

Our confidence never gets too high on itself if tethered to a deep sense of purpose. It's all part of being a balanced and mature adult. But that's a whole nother post (coming soon )

BTW: would you be so kind as to place links to those posts you mentioned? I'd like for this thread to reference as much inspiration as possible.. plus some I haven't read myself.

Fingz, I'll add only those thread links which I believe drop other clues and lessons which ultimately lead to X on the treasure map of our superiority:

Victory Unlimited's timeless words regarding the importance of Value:

Rollo's Cardinal rule:

Interceptor's Manifesto for MEN:

Regarding Thelema and Crowley's pursuance of Self Mastery:

My contribution:

I can't locate anything good enough to link to regarding Dr. Paul Dobransky, but his work with Universalism and Male Awareness is quite perceptive.

My hope is that men will have a place to come to and unite as a brotherhood to learn and be taught without ego and totalitarian mentality.

We fear losing to the point of thinking we have to conquer another in order to be a winner. This is a critical flaw in boy-man thinking and needs to be changed to that of a winner by example.

Love what you, guys, are doing. Myself, I am a work in process and, if anyone, I certainly can use the guidance you are all providing here. But I'll get there.

But all this, it isn't easy. In fact, if anything, it is pretty damn hard. I still don't have much of what I want in my life, I still remain with some of the hurts of the past. I still struggle, day to day. Changing is hard. Maybe even more painful than staying inside our own bubble. I do more WRONGS now, than when I was tossed around by life and pretty much everyone.

I used to thought that change was about hammering good characteristics inside my skull. But what arises when I stick my head out my nest is everything. The good, the bad in me. Courage, cowardice, humbleness, arrogance. I think, ultimately, it's not about carving ourselves into some billboard ideal. It's not about building up. It's about self-knowledge. And, most times, it isn't a pink lovey-dovey thing.

Bruce Lee said:

It is not daily increase but daily decrease; hack away the unessential.

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I am not one to give advice, mark that. I am just talking about my own experience. My life is almost more of a mess now than it used to be, for God's sake! But what an hell of a ride! I've been trough bad moments, I've done wrong and hated myself for it. And I've done right too - and screwed it up next! Yet, I love it. Growing, being wrong, doing the right thing. In the end, I guess there's no other thing as precious as knowing myself.

I'm looking forward to learn with all the wisest mates around.

Paper Man said:

I do more WRONGS now, than when I was tossed around by life and pretty much everyone.

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But they are your wrongs, which you can actually do something about!

I think, ultimately, it's not about carving ourselves into some billboard ideal. It's not about building up. It's about self-knowledge. And, most times, it isn't a pink lovey-dovey thing.

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We need ideals to aim for. Man is not perfect, and you are right - half the battle is reducing our flaws and the impact they have on our lives.

Sometimes we do need a hefty dose of inspiration though (or pink lovey dovey as u call it) to pull ourselves out the black pool of negativity around us. As realized men, we tend to gravitate towards balance.

My life is almost more of a mess now than it used to be, for God's sake!

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It was probably much worse, but you were just not aware of it . Like I said though, at least it's your mess!

I've done wrong and hated myself for it. And I've done right too - and screwed it up next! Yet, I love it. There's no other thing as precious as knowing myself.

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Knowing and owning yourself is key.. like you said we have to deal with our light and dark sides and neither is a walk in the park, because both require hard work and sacrifice at some point.

It all boils down to personal initiative. Our actions and accomplishments are ultimately the fruit of our intent. We may falter or take a few steps back every now and then, but nothing can knock us completely off course, least of all a trifling woman!

The Purpose Filled Life is what enables us to build healthy Self Esteem.

When we get nourishment and fulfillment from these things, we build more Inner Resources.

Once we begin our Mission to BUILD these INNER RESOURCES, so that we CAN LIVE that Purpose Filled Life, we can and ONLY THEN look upon the world and interact with it feeling that our NEEDS are BEING MET.

When our NEEDs are NOT being met, we often move into a dark needy, desperate, lonely resentful, angry and bitter existence, and we tend to lash out at others and BLAME THEM for our Lack of nourishment and unfulfilled NEEDS.

This is wrong.
We must accept our Duty to ourselves and work toward accomplishing our Mission. The accomplishment of the Goals on yor Path to your Mission Objectives, build this Self Esteem, which is the FOUNDATION for EVERYTHING you seek to have, be, do ,or want.
Self Esteem is a POSITIVE feeling.
It is simply not good enough to simply 'think positve'.
No, my friends.

You MUST DO POSITIVE

But THAT takes HIGH CHARACTER and COURAGE.

this is part of your Mission and Goals in life, to become a mature masculine, and fully Realized man.



These Inner Resources are ours to share, and protect.
We do so with our Personal Boundary.
This Personal Boundary gets stronger the more Self Respect we build.
We get that Self Respect by recognizing the VALUE of ourSELF and our RESOURCES.

Our sense of VALUE helps us control the FLOW of our Resources, In and OUT.

And our Self Respect means that we never sacrifice our Happiness, Peace of Mind, and our Morale.

People do not 'hurt' us anymore...

They cannot "get" to us anymore...

We begin to feel more abundance in our life, because we finally see we can control our emotions, and our reactions, and be more giving with our resources, since we have confidence we will not let them be abused.


We then begin to NOURISH ourselves.

We NURTURE OURSELVES.

We can MENTOR ourSELVES.



We can SELF MANAGE.

We have become Independent.



When we do that, we finally break free of the NEEDINESS.

We are free to appreciate and enjoy, and let go of the Scarcity Mindset.

And embrace those gifts that people bestow upon us, without NEEDING them to give it to us, , or trying to desperately TAKE IT from them.
The NEEDINESS comes from our NEEDS not BEING MET.
It comes from...
Our LACK of NURTURING ourSELVES.

And our LACK of Managing OUR WELL BEING.
Many Men go through their Lives WITHOUT A good grasp of their Well Being. So it is at the Mercy of OTHERS and the ENVIRONMENT.
These are the Men who become bitter, sad, lonely, depressd, and angry and blame everyone for their own self created misery.
Why?
They do not Nurture themselves and manage their Well Being.


But when we do...
We can then go into all types of Relationships with Men and Women, FREE..to choose, and able to Say 'no" and HEAR "NO" in return.


We have balance. Perspective. Focus.

And then, and only then can we move on to mature relationships with Women truly appreciating them, for who they are, standing beside us, instead of looking at what we can steal from them.


Then, with our Masculinity in full force, can we then FULLY receive Femenine Energy without neediness or desperation.

Interceptor, my brother, we are in the same damned state. I need a road trip so I'm buying you a beer and a roll of spicy tuna.

Name the time and place.

Ah. Good stuff guys.

Great post Senor

This is the best thing I have read today. Im going to print it out and put it on my wall.

Interceptor.. as usual your post does not disappoint.

The NEEDINESS comes from our NEEDS not BEING MET.
It comes from...
Our LACK of NURTURING ourSELVES.

And our LACK of Managing OUR WELL BEING.
Many Men go through their Lives WITHOUT A good grasp of their Well Being. So it is at the Mercy of OTHERS and the ENVIRONMENT.

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So, so vitally important!

Anyone who ever finds himself feeling lost or victimized by life and circumstance needs to read this out loud till it gets through his thick skull!

Great stuff

Good thread, brought me back to the level a bit since I'm in the army and not in a good place mentally.

Maaan thats whats up, wish fings was still around.

life changer post

Top quality stuff right here. Impressive to see such introspection by these fellas.

And then, and only then can we move on to mature relationships with Women truly appreciating them, for who they are, standing beside us, instead of looking at what we can steal from them.


Then, with our Masculinity in full force, can we then FULLY receive Femenine Energy without neediness or desperation.

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bump

Paper Man said:

I am not one to give advice, mark that. I am just talking about my own experience. My life is almost more of a mess now than it used to be, for God's sake! But what an hell of a ride! I've been trough bad moments, I've done wrong and hated myself for it. And I've done right too - and screwed it up next! Yet, I love it. Growing, being wrong, doing the right thing. In the end, I guess there's no other thing as precious as knowing myself.

I'm looking forward to learn with all the wisest mates around.

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Good news to you PaperMan.. Stay here with us... listen, learn, do, try, succeed, fail, ask questions, retry again.... Pretty soon you will be the one giving the advice here to our newer bros... Mark my word. Stay the course!! :rockon: