Why do much, much older men on dating sites....
- Thread starter Wyldfire
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Because what a woman says she wants when it comes to what makes her wet has absolutely no bearing on reality.
It's a very simple concept to grasp.
It's a very simple concept to grasp.
The guy who has the text that is supposed to represent a pair of breasts is right: women say one thing, but mean another. Most of the time it seems they don't know what they mean anyway.
It is one of the main rules of the DJ bible.
It is one of the main rules of the DJ bible.
Well, a 54 year old wrote to me despite the fact that I clearly stated in the profile that I am not interested in anyone beyond 45 and that in actuality I prefer younger men. I responded to him saying that he was over 45 and I wasn't interested, just as my profile stated. He's old enough to be my father...gross.
Re: It's biology mainly
It's not as big of a deal if a guy your age goes after a woman 25 to 30. You aren't old. I'm talking guys in their mid to late 50's and older hitting on women 10, 15, even 20 or more years younger. I'm a year older than you are and I still look good, too. Why on earth would I want to date someone significantly older than myself? They're getting to the point where they have serious health problems and could be a few years from dying. F*ck that. If I'm going to get involved with someone I'm not going to invest my time in someone who could croak in a few years that I'm not even attracted to in the first place.
There's the real issue:
Attactiveness.
He is only mediocre looking. That is the real problem.
If this old old man looked like George Clooney you wouldn't have posted your original concern.
So, specifically the question is "why do mediocre looking men on dating sites message me?"
The answer is: they don't know they're mediocre. Or, they do but don't know that you have higher standards than that.
Or, they know that self-looks aren't as important to guys as they are to women.
My suggestion is to just say that you don't want any mediocre looking men. You'll weed out those who are not confident, which is a big plus.
No, the issue is that I'm NEVER attracted to older men. I can't even think of a 45 year old man that I have ever found attractive. I have always prefered younger men and I state that CLEARLY on my profile. I state CLEARLY that I would CONSIDER a guy up to the age of 45 tops. You can't get much clearer than that...so why on earth would a 54 year old even write in the first place? Because he mistakenly thinks that the standards I set forth for what I was looking for didn't apply to him.
And George Clooney is NOT attractive...yuck. Maybe if I was 60 or something, but now? No freaking way.
iveyleeger
Senior Don Juan
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So ignore his email. End of story.
I just asked because I get a lot of much older guys who totally ignore what I put in the profile about age and still write even though I made it clear I won't be interested. It's the same thing with married men. I'm just wondering why guys seem to think that even though they clearly fit what you say you aren't looking for they still think it doesn't apply to them.
basically for the same reason that there is the ongoing thread about " fat woman" wanting a fit guys.. and why they think they deserve... blah blah...
We all aspire individually to be more than we are, thinking more highly of ourselves than others do. So yes. Those 50 somethings believe that your clear set requirements do not apply to themselves in particular because they are " not like the other 50 somethings".
We all aspire individually to be more than we are, thinking more highly of ourselves than others do. So yes. Those 50 somethings believe that your clear set requirements do not apply to themselves in particular because they are " not like the other 50 somethings".
Helter Skelter
Master Don Juan
I hate internet dating
It's sooo much easier in the real world.
I'm much more popular in the real world too.
I couldn't get an attractive girl to even reply to an e-mail.
Yet have no problem in real life.
What a waste of fuucking time.
Helter
It's sooo much easier in the real world.
I'm much more popular in the real world too.
I couldn't get an attractive girl to even reply to an e-mail.
Yet have no problem in real life.
What a waste of fuucking time.
Helter
Also
Because there is nothing to lose.
Being rejected on the internet has no stigma, so why not take the chance. If something was actually put up of value, then he might rethink approaching. While I think older men (45+) have it much better than women of the same age, I do think their options are severely reduced overall. It is unfortunate in this aspect becasue this is when most men really start the prime of their life. Usually they are much more settled financially and emotionally, with life experience giving them the necessary maturity that most younger men lack. You would think this would be a desirable trait. But life does'nt work that way.
Beyond that, he is playing the game of big numbers. The premise is simple, if you send out enough emails (100's maybe 1000's) to hot girls, eventually you will get a positive response. While logically it should work, that is an awful lot of emails to send
The problem with internet dating is that it is too centered around the quantative information ( The picture, age, profession, money, etc). To be sucessfull at it you need to be able to write well, have good photos, and stretch the truth on the profile information. Just as most guys will automactically ignore any woman who has large listed on her profile, most women will ignore men that are beyond them 10 years.
Because there is nothing to lose.
Being rejected on the internet has no stigma, so why not take the chance. If something was actually put up of value, then he might rethink approaching. While I think older men (45+) have it much better than women of the same age, I do think their options are severely reduced overall. It is unfortunate in this aspect becasue this is when most men really start the prime of their life. Usually they are much more settled financially and emotionally, with life experience giving them the necessary maturity that most younger men lack. You would think this would be a desirable trait. But life does'nt work that way.
Beyond that, he is playing the game of big numbers. The premise is simple, if you send out enough emails (100's maybe 1000's) to hot girls, eventually you will get a positive response. While logically it should work, that is an awful lot of emails to send
The problem with internet dating is that it is too centered around the quantative information ( The picture, age, profession, money, etc). To be sucessfull at it you need to be able to write well, have good photos, and stretch the truth on the profile information. Just as most guys will automactically ignore any woman who has large listed on her profile, most women will ignore men that are beyond them 10 years.
I don't even look at the job or income. This is the basic order of what I look at...
1. photo
2. marital status
3. age
4. distance away from where I live
5. make sure they don't list "intimate encounters" as what they are there for.
6. their attitude towards children
7. body type
8. drinking, smoking and drug habits
9. what they write in the essay section
The following things on a profile will lead to a definite rejection:
1. I don't find them visually attractive.
2. they are separated, married or in a relationship
3. Under 27 or 28 or over 45
4. lives over 30 miles from where I live.
5. if it in any way sounds like they are trolling to bed as many women as possible.
6. They make any negative comments about kids.
7. If they are fat (a few extra pounds is ok but I've seen seriously obese men list themselves as "a few extra pounds"...so MY version of a few extra pounds, not theirs.)
8. If they drink regularly, do any drugs or chain smoke.
9. If they can't spell, use "women" when they should use "woman" (big pet peeve), don't write anything at all, don't punctuate or form paragraphs...or are painfully boring to read. Oh, and if they come across like a jackass...
I honestly don't care how much money a guy makes or what he drives or does for work.
1. photo
2. marital status
3. age
4. distance away from where I live
5. make sure they don't list "intimate encounters" as what they are there for.
6. their attitude towards children
7. body type
8. drinking, smoking and drug habits
9. what they write in the essay section
The following things on a profile will lead to a definite rejection:
1. I don't find them visually attractive.
2. they are separated, married or in a relationship
3. Under 27 or 28 or over 45
4. lives over 30 miles from where I live.
5. if it in any way sounds like they are trolling to bed as many women as possible.
6. They make any negative comments about kids.
7. If they are fat (a few extra pounds is ok but I've seen seriously obese men list themselves as "a few extra pounds"...so MY version of a few extra pounds, not theirs.)
8. If they drink regularly, do any drugs or chain smoke.
9. If they can't spell, use "women" when they should use "woman" (big pet peeve), don't write anything at all, don't punctuate or form paragraphs...or are painfully boring to read. Oh, and if they come across like a jackass...
I honestly don't care how much money a guy makes or what he drives or does for work.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
It's like what's been posted in other threads about non-fit (alright, FAT) women wanting slim or athletic guys. Some people, both men and women, may not have a realistic view of themselves, at least not what the actually portray to the world.
These people feel that even though they do not fit the characteristic the other person is looking for, they feel that they are actually better than the image they present. I guess it may be a form of delusion.
These people feel that even though they do not fit the characteristic the other person is looking for, they feel that they are actually better than the image they present. I guess it may be a form of delusion.
Well, I'll say this much...it makes me understand why some women make some of the comments in their profiles you guys were talking about on that princess thread. I get mail from guys who fit what I describe in the profile, too, so it's not only the ones I don't want to hear from who write. There have been times I've contacted guys I thought were attractive and who fit what I'm interested in before and I always take the time to carefully read what they write. If they have an age range and I'm not in it, I don't write. I'm going to update the profile and try to be even more clear while trying not to sound really biotchy. I get contacted a lot and it gets annoying having my time wasted by guys who I already have said I'm not interested in.
Okay, since the subtle approach didn't work in getting the message across that I'm not interested in anyone over 45, married or involved men or horndogs trolling dating sites for booty...I was a bit more firm. Here is what the "what I'm looking for" section says now...
I'm looking for ...
I prefer younger men. I am most likely only going to be attracted to younger men. I am open to meeting someone up to the age of 45, but no older, no exceptions. If you are married or have a girlfriend, do NOT write to me. I don't care if your marriage / relationship is awful. I don't care if your wife/girlfriend won't have sex with you, neither will I. I don't care if you supposedly have an "open marriage / relationship". Get counselling, a divorce or a hooker. I don't care what you do...just do NOT write to me. I am not here for casual sex. If that's what you're looking for, you're barking up the wrong tree. I love sex as much as the next person, but only within a relationship. Please have a photo posted on your profile and be within 40 miles of my zip code, I am not schlepping 100 miles to meet someone I might not even be attracted to.
I'm looking for ...
I prefer younger men. I am most likely only going to be attracted to younger men. I am open to meeting someone up to the age of 45, but no older, no exceptions. If you are married or have a girlfriend, do NOT write to me. I don't care if your marriage / relationship is awful. I don't care if your wife/girlfriend won't have sex with you, neither will I. I don't care if you supposedly have an "open marriage / relationship". Get counselling, a divorce or a hooker. I don't care what you do...just do NOT write to me. I am not here for casual sex. If that's what you're looking for, you're barking up the wrong tree. I love sex as much as the next person, but only within a relationship. Please have a photo posted on your profile and be within 40 miles of my zip code, I am not schlepping 100 miles to meet someone I might not even be attracted to.
johnny_dangerously
Don Juan
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I too am a bit snozzled by the tone of your posts. (I say "snozzled" because I can't think of the right word, so I made one up I am 35 and have seen attractive women aged 45, 55, and even 60. (Not many, mind you, but some). But you are vomiting into the keyboard at the very thought of the number 50--"Yecch! Ick! Blecch!" The previous poster has a point--have you not had to make any concessions to compensate for all the baggage you come with? Are the Brad Pitts of the world really lined up at your door? Good grief, even George Clooney is too ugly for you. Are you able to get what you want with standards that, as far as I can tell, are over the moon?
I am 35 and have seen attractive women aged 45, 55, and even 60. (Not many, mind you, but some). But you are vomiting into the keyboard at the very thought of the number 50--"Yecch! Ick! Blecch!" The previous poster has a point--have you not had to make any concessions to compensate for all the baggage you come with? Are the Brad Pitts of the world really lined up at your door? Good grief, even George Clooney is too ugly for you. Are you able to get what you want with standards that, as far as I can tell, are over the moon?