Hard Lessons I've Learned in Life

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In the past couple years of fine tuning my game and interactions with women, I've learned a lot. A lot of mistakes were made, a lot of successes, and some lessons well learned. I'm still learning them every day but every day, I get a little bit better at it. Then the next day, I get a little better then. Who I am in January will probably be almost different than who I am in December.

It was High School. Through networking, I was with the popular kids. We all had fun times and I went to their parties right away. I was a hit. Yet this was during that time that we all liked girls but there wasn't some huge push to get girlfriends (9th and 10th grade). By the end of 10th Grade, most of my friends had girlfriends. Yet, here I was without. I'm not ugly, thats for sure. How many girls did I actually approach? Take a wild guess. If you guessed "zero" then give yourself a pat on the back. From my friends, I found out there were a lot of girls who liked me in that way. Did I do anything? Hell no. I sat, thumb up my ass, and stood there.

Lesson: Never wait for women to approach you; always approach them.

As time progressed, I started catching a lot of **** from friends. People thought I was gay. Girls eventually gave up. Its crazy how many indicators of interest were given to me and how I screwed it up. Defiantly, I said, "Well, if women don't like me for who I am, then screw them!" Of course, who I was was who I hated. I hated myself when it came to almost everything from academics to football to of course, women. I had a low value of myself when I had dozens of friends, so many I quickly lost track.

College was the bright light at the dim end of the tunnel. Watching all those movies (probably a contributor to my problems, no doubt. TV is garbage) made me think that I would have it made. When stepping onto campus, I saw girls who were wearing things that would be sacrilege at my home town. I rubbed my hands and eagerly awaited all the girls I would plunder. Except, oh yeah, I still didn't approach women. I was just hoping they'd stop by to have sex for no reason other than I had a penis.

Of course, that didn't pan out. College life was terrible to me. What I thought would be orgies were a bunch of dudes trying to sneak in cheap bottles of UV and Keystone Ice. I became depressed. The reason why I was sure was because everyone sucked. At the end of the semester, I looked back at utter contempt at everyone but in a moment of clarity, realized that it was all on me. All of it. I needed to change. Like a massive weight off my chest, I found myself relieved and optimistic.

Lesson: Losers work within the confines of destiny, winners create it

When going back, I started talking to women. Most girls were surprised at how I was able to talk. Wow, was I that bad? Of course, girls started to like me now and I was making serious progress with the girls I was with. I had many girls interested in me. In its own way, this reclusion to budding Don Juan worked out. I had the mystery angle. The outsider. Some days, I'd revert back to my old self. I unknowingly pushed and pulled. Still, talking didn't mean getting dates, make out sessions, or god forbid, sex. I made some nice progress but going half assed wasn't my plan. It was time for action.

This was where I was undoubtedly a jerk. I never took it too far but I was a prick. Whats worse was that the girls who went towards me were girls who were messed in the head. Some had eating disorders years back. Some were clinically depressed. They all stuck to me. Pitying them, I figured sex would be a bad option for me and for them. The confident girls wanted nothing to do with me. The normal girls would be polite but there was no connection being made. I only netted the screwed up girls.

Lesson: Never be a jerk unless you want messed up women.

Deciding to levitate away from prick-dom, I was confused. I was too afraid of being too nice, too ****y, too funny, whatever. I was now dating girls but had a hard time keeping them. Why? At the time, I was convinced all the girls I dated were flakes who couldn't make their mind up. The truth was, it was me who couldn't make my mind up. I was getting sick of using devices and methods that sparked attraction but fell flat shortly after.

After a date with a great girl I screwed up royally. I decided not to use any more techniques. No more gurus giving me advice about using this method or that pattern. No more single lines that I used ad nauseum. It was just me, myself, and I against the world.

What happened? Nothing but great things. From dating attractive girls, my confidence kept building. Occasional kissing but no sex, it still improved me once shattered self esteem. As confidence built, I became much better with women and yes, eventually had sex with a hot girl.

Lesson: A confident you is better than any routine.

After getting sex, it was like a disease. Soon, hobbies, hanging out with friends, and anything else other than women was getting pushed out for well, more women. I was having sex with a new girl every week and two new girls a week happened on several occasions. My grades in college, despite easy classes, were all in the "C" range. I betrayed some of my good friends for skirt chasing and missed out on life. It was during a weekend when I got my latest test grades back. Now even getting a C was going to take work. I failed all but two of my recent tests. Those two tests I got were Cs in ridiculously easy classes.

I look at the grades and looked at my situation. I decided to cancel all my dates for that week and decided to take a month off for myself. Studying, catching up with friends, and even starting to read in my spare time, I felt amazing. Whats great was that I was able to turn those poor grades into Bs and B-'s overall. Not amazing, sure, but before this, I was getting Ds. With getting all A's on my finals, being friends with guys again, and reading, I found myself a much more happier person.

Lesson: Always live for yourself, not for others.

Of course, I got back with women but I balanced girls with academics, friends, and hobbies. Women are the spice of life. The right spices make a meal from good to excellent but coat it with spices and the meal is ruined.
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The lessons I learned in life were chalked up to one thing: experience. By getting out there, meeting new girls, and learning my lessons from them, I became a much better person. By sitting online, you might be able to get some motivation and good advice but there isn't anything close to a substitute for real life experience. So go out there and learn some lessons of your own.
 

I-am-someone

Senior Don Juan
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I think the message behind that item is this:
Put negative energy into anything, and you will only recieve negativity in return.
Put positive energy into anything, and you will only recieve positivity in return.

If you're a jerk around women, you will attract a certain kind of woman...
If you're just yourself and let yourself shine in a positive way, while making clear that you are simply a greater person than others, you will attract an entirely different kind of woman...

Makes sense, doesn't it? :D
 
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I'm not going to say the specifics but it was pretty bad. I'd make fun of a girl in a malicious manner for doing something dumb or when there was a girl with an eating disorder, I made fun of her for that. Trust me folks, the way of the jerk is pretty much the wrong path. Not only did I feel bad, I could feel that others were being offended too. Live for yourself, definitely, but when you're losing respect from your good friends for those comments, you have to realize what you're doing.
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Another point I forgot is that you got to believe your own BS. When I started off, I talked big but I didn't have the confidence necessary and soon holes in my personality were discovered and of course, girls lost interest.

When I started getting more confident, it was when I believed my own BS. When you believe you will succeed in life and work towards that, success is pretty much inevitable. When you're unsteady about anything, especially yourself, thats when you'll collapse in life. Every day I looked in the mirror. In the past, I used to avoid it. Maybe because I had disregard for even myself but I didn't believe I had it in me to be worth a damn in life.

When I started believing I could great and amazing things, I felt better about myself. Soon, grades were better, girl situation was better, and life overall seemed much better. Now being more active in my college, I'm using those principles and having a blast without resorting to running to parties or revert back to my girl-chasing days of one new girl to have sex with a week, at least. Life is better and it all started from believing the potential that I had in myself.

Never wait until you accomplished some great feat before believing that you can. Many of the more successful people had the success mentality when being poor and seemingly out of luck. Yet they triumphed overall.

You believe in yourself, soon others see it and levitate towards you. Self depreciation and groveling is a way for people not to respect you. I know that for a fact due to experience.
 
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" I was getting sick of using devices and methods that sparked attraction but fell flat shortly after.

After a date with a great girl I screwed up royally. I decided not to use any more techniques. No more gurus giving me advice about using this method or that pattern. No more single lines that I used ad nauseum. It was just me, myself, and I against the world."

so true. great post man
 
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