Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

Ok here it goes.... The first step to the hardest thing I think I would have ever imagined doing. Inspired by Pugsley I think doing cold approaches takes the most amount of $*$8 there is. I'll be honest I never would have imagined myself doing this. I was always the shy kid in school that sat by himself and didn't talk much. But being that I just got out of a serious relatinship I need to get myself back in the game.

I think having the support of this board and being able to come back here for feedback will help me in this exhibition. Now unlike Pugsley, I intend to finish the 100 approaches no matter what. I will also not limit them to book stores but will try and go to several public outlets.

Here are my 2 biggest fears about this.

1.) Im scared her boyfriend will be around and give me trouble. So many times I have thought a girl was alone, only to see her greet her boyfriend a few minutes later. I definitely don't want to deal with this.

2.) Im scared the girl will feel like I'm harassing her. I know most girls should feel complimented no matter what, but every so often some girls are so stupid. I don't want her to cause a scene.

I will use the line "Excuse me may I ask you a question" if she says "yes" I will say "Are you single" and then ask for the digits.

I hope to start this this week and will keep a log of it on this thread. I think cold approaches are the best way to build confidence and really learn first hand what its all about. I just hope I do go through with this.

don't approach just to approach. Don't ask if she's single. Thats retarded. Go up to her and just have a conversation. You'll get a lot more out of it. You'll get nothing out of just going up to girls and asking if they're single. ANy idiot can do that. But it takes a confident, smart guy to go up to a girl, talk to her and hold a conversation.


If you're that shy that you need to use planned openers, perhaps you shouldnt be doing 100 approaches yet ?

1) Use indirect openers. That way you hide your intentions till she shows you IOI's. And, if you are good, you can even steal chicks from dates Don't worry about the boyfriends.

2) Don't be scared. I doubt any of the 100 chicks is going to call the police because you just talked to her.

>>I will use the line "Excuse me may I ask you a question" if she says "yes" I will say "Are you single" and then ask for the digits.

I just read this from a DeAngelo e-mail. I hope this helps you and that he won't sue me :crackup:

YOU: "Hey, can I ask you a quick question?"
[leaning back and playing it cool, talking cool
and slow]

HER: "Sure"

[pause pause pause for suspense]

YOU: "Are you single?" [stone cold straight face]

HER: "Well, um..."

YOU: "I'll take that as a yes..." [nodding, sly
smile]

HER: [Laugher]

YOU: "Well, I just happen to know someone that I
think might really like you... if you're more than
just a pretty face, that is... He's funny, has
great taste, and I think you'd like him... I'd
love to sit down and get your life story, but I'm
on my way somewhere... do you have email?" [very
cool, calm tone of voice]

HER: "Yes."

YOU: Great... [takes out pen]... write it down for
me, and I'll have, uh [clears throat] HIM send you
an email."

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I agree. Just start a conversation with her first before asking for the digits. I wouldn't ask if she was single. That would come off as desperate to her especially if you asked that right away.

Good luck Jayer.

Originally posted by Wiesman44
don't approach just to approach. Don't ask if she's single. Thats retarded. Go up to her and just have a conversation. You'll get a lot more out of it. You'll get nothing out of just going up to girls and asking if they're single. ANy idiot can do that. But it takes a confident, smart guy to go up to a girl, talk to her and hold a conversation.

Click to expand...

^
What he said

At this stage, it doesn't matter what you say. What's important is that you actually go out there and do something!

good luck.:woo:

wow, with all these mixed reactions to this I'm not sure if I should go through with this.

A lot of people are saying just to start a conversation... that sounds like a boot camp lesson, and frankly the results I've seen from bootcamp is just to become more sociable but I haven't really seen any proof of making anyone a pimp.

I don't know what to do now.. Doesn't anyone think Pugsley's straight to the point method was good?

i honestly think that you have to figure out why you're doing it. at first i started an approach journal, a goal similar to yours, for the sake of getting over my fear. so, like Metalixia said, and not what some of the others, like Caldus said, go out there and just do it.

remember, the point is to get over your fears. regardless of what goes on in the actual interaction, you will have succeeded in facing fear, and approach after approach that simple fact that you faced fear, will make you feel better. i initially aimed for a 100 but got over the fear in about 30 or so approaches. i doubt it will take you a hundred either.

i think the point for mixed reactions is because your motives are mixed. what if she says she is single...to answer your question? problem is, you can't be so fearful of rapport either, try becoming more social overall at the same time, by joing some clubs/community stuff, or talking to strangers. it would be nice to have something to say after that, like ask her for a date, or continue with convo, if she does answer that way...

yet, even if you walk away when she says she is single...like i said, regardless of the results of the interaction, if you're point was to face fear and overcome it...you have...atleast in approaching. then, you can step it up a notch and face you fear of building rapport with women you don't know.

it really doesn't matter how you do it...just approach. besides, say you approached, and got rejected by 100 women, which is far from possible, but still...say it happens, simply because you weren't trying to succeed in getting their digits or "gaming" them, but just get over you fear...what have you lost? you've actually succeeded in doing just that, getting over the fear. besides, you mentioned just getting out of an LTR, which shows you probably have some decent social skill, just a fear of establishing rapport with people you don't know.

just realize that there are hundreds, thousands of women out there. just because you let 100 of them slide by "creeping them out" by asking if they are single right off the bat, as some may think, that still leaves you with thousands of more women when it comes to the part where you're trying to actually get them, rather than just face your fear. 100 women is nothing. unless of course, you live in a really small town and will have to resort to visiting a retirement home on approach number 79 or something...

(i used to live in a small town like that...so it is a practical consideration actually). you get my point.

Dude, just do what you feel is right. It doesn't really matter what approach you use, what line you use, or what you say, as long as you just get out there and do it. The rest will fall into place.

Originally posted by Jayer
wow, with all these mixed reactions to this I'm not sure if I should go through with this.

Click to expand...

So basically a whole 18 hours into this "will finish 100 approaches no matter what!" you're thinking of quitting?

Jayer,

Don't bite off more than you can chew. Take it one step at a time. Start with one approach. Only worry about that one for now. Once you've done that, then worry about number 2. Maybe you can finish this thread but don't feel like it's some obligation around your neck. And don't feel like you are facing a deadline either. Proceed at your own pace, just make sure you proceed.

edit: Don't worry about our reactions either. You aren't doing this for anyone but yourself, if you choose to.

you: Hi there, and you are?
her: <name>
you: Hey <name>, Im <your name>. *you extend your hand, and look her in the eyes*

You can carry on by making some small talk, but its best to just make it short and simple.

Then!

you: Im sort of in hurry, but I just had to meet you. *Give her your business card*
her: Nice meeting you.
you: *smiling*Nice meeting you <her name>, see you around!

Allways get there number! never give them yours unless you have there's. Business cards just leave the ball in there court to call you, not a good sitution to be in, not alpha male, not a winning position. Get her number and call her in 2-3 days!

Yeah I think the most important part is just getting out there and facing your fears because after that the rest should fall into place.

What is this "give me your business card" or "whats your email"

Those sound like afc lines to me. I agree I should change it up sometimes or adapt to the situation. I will try to do this the best I can.


I really had it in my goals to do this. For me this is equivalent of climbing mount everest. This takes $*#*(#( at least for someone who is shy like me.

I guess I was hoping for some encouragement, but with all the mixed feelings about this, is it really worth it for me to do this? Would anyone even be interested?

I have given you encouragement TWICE. You have to do this for you. Screw what anyone else thinks. Pugsley sure got his share of negative comments but he didn't care. He approached cuz he wanted to get this area of his life handled, and cuz he felt like approaching.

If you go for it then great! YOU DA MAN!! If not, then hey I understand, not many people got stones that big.

This would be the ultimate thread if you went through with it because I don't think a really shy guy has attempted this on this board before.

still thinking about it.....