Interest Level Scale

The following is a scale of how interest level works. Doc Love talks about interest level a lot, and it seems that romantic interest is in the 50%+ area. To those that wanted a scale to add to the DJ bible, newbies to this board, or Master DJs that just want to broaden their knowledge, or comment, I present to you my version of the interest level scale.

Interest level scale

100% -- She thinks of you as her one true love, and shows it in every way.

Now back in reality, this does not exist, and is as likely as having a HB that everyone in the world can agree is a perfect 10. This will never happen cause we all know Pook will not agree any girl is a 10, so that is not a 100% world population vote.

90-99% -- She is really hot for you, and your presence turns her on. She will jump at any opportunity to be with you, and is always happy when you are around. She thinks of you as her hero.

Good work fellow DJ! J

80-89% -- You are in the green zone. Everything is peachy, and things are going well. The relationship is good, and the sex is good. Disputes are rare, and often resolved quickly and easily. She enjoys your time, and has the deepest respect for you.

You can boost her interest level by being slightly more of a challenge, and doing more spontaneous things. You don’t want to let things get boring and predictable now do we?

70-79% -- This is the green/yellow zone for the DJ, but for our AFC, its still well in the green. With this amount of interest, the girl is well into you, and enjoys your company. However, she feels that in the back of her mind, she may be able to do better. Comparative psychology kicks in here, and her female logic may start up. She may throw some tests at you now and then at a subconscious level to see how manly you are.

At this point, DO NOT PUT HER ON A PETASTOOL UNDER ANY CIRCOMSTANCES!!! Some neg hits now and then may help. Be more ****y and funny, and keep phone conversations to a minimum and only to set up dates. Over the phone, you can’t display things like eye contact, kino, or body language to show you are an alpha male, and the longer you talk, the more AFC you look. Proximity plays a lot for attraction. Keep it short, sweet, and don’t try and impress her. She has to feel she has to impress you. Make sure at this point, you look out for number one, YOUR SELF! Act like you enjoy having her around, but she is not at the top of your lists on priorities. Remain challenging, don’t let anything she says get to you, bother, or phase you. Show social proof, be mysterious, spontaneous, and put your DJ skills to work.

60-69% -- Yellow zone! At this point, the girl thinks of you with potential, but her interest level is iffy. She will do lots of things to test what kind of a man you are, and see how you handle situations. Girls with this much interest seem flaky quite often, but are actually more sinister. Girls with this interest, or show this amount of interest quite often get AFCs on a string. She will flirt with you, and think sexually about you. However, don’t expect her to call you up, and always want you to hang around her.

She feels the man still has to prove himself to her (by not proving yourself to her, and making her feel she has to prove herself to you). Female logic at its best! (but she won’t admit that, so don’t ask girls for advice on what they want.) Lots of girls seem to start around this interest level when you meet them provided you did your DJing well when you met. Some higher, some lower, but you get the idea. You don’t want your relationship to be stuck here though. Lots of AFCs that get into relationships are eternally stuck here at best. The girl will feel she could do better, and you are the back up. The trick is to not be around her all the time. Show you have a life, and are able to take care of yourself. You don’t need her, but if she is with you, she will see what you are about. You are a man, a positive, outgoing strong individual that will enrich her world. Man do the picking, but women do the choosing.

50-59% -- RED ZONE!!! Its still salvageable, but you have to play your cards right. She feels attracted to you, but has doubts in her mind, and isn’t sure where it will go. When you see her, she may be happy to see you, and you get along great. Heavy flirting and even sex may happen. Although, she seems to have to take off early sometimes, or something came up. The time you spend together seems enjoyable, but she isn’t as available as she SHOULD be. Random things come up now and then, and although she doesn‘t have time for you, she has time for her friends.

Don’t take anything personally at this point. A girl like this will attract AFCs well because it quite often toys with their hopes. STOP CALLING HER 10 TIMES A DAY OR YOU WILL MESS THIS UP!!! The trick here is make yourself less available. Give her less attention, and give other girls more attention. Toss a few neg hits, and be more ****y, and for gods sakes, READ THE DJ BIBLE! Don’t call her for a week or two, and don’t act depressed or desperate. DO NOT TELL HER HOW SPECIAL SHE IS OR HOW WONDERFUL SHE MAKES YOU FEEL!! That is total BS and you know it. She is not making you feel good. If you are an AFC, she is toying with your emotions and hopes. If you are a DJ, it’s a more challenging situation to put your skills to the test, and see if you can get her interest level up. Besides who needs her? There are over 3 billion other girls out there. The most important part if her IL is this high (and some girls you meet will start with this much interest) is make sure you don’t look desperate. They can smell it a mile away, and they think it stinks. Desperation = creepy dude, get away. Aloft = I wonder if I can get his attention?

40-49% -- Point of no return AKA friends zone. At this point, the wise thing to do is next her. The sexual energy isn’t there, or is gone. At best, she thinks of you as a friend, but doesn’t think of you in a romantic way. She may still call you up to help her move her couch, borrow money, or be the sympathetic crying shoulder (emotional tampon) when her X con X boyfriend dumped her. If you are still around her, you are nothing more then an ego boost, and its not healthy for you. Lots of AFCs waste years of their lives in this zone. They don’t get any action other then the occasional hug, cuddle on the couch, or peck on the cheek.

If all you want with this girl is just to be friends, that’s cool. However realize that that is all you are, and don’t get hopeful of anything else coming out of it. Don’t do nice things for her hoping that she will think you are sweet, and feel more romantically for you. That is not how things work. If she is a friend, treat her like one. If she was a guy with the personality she has, would you want her as a friend? AFCs have a habit of letting friends with p*ssys push them around more, even if they won’t take sh!it from a 300 pound psycho killer.

30-39% -- This is what I call the “Why are you still putting up with this chick?” zone. At this point, the girl will porously go out of her way to avoid you.

You should have already picked up all the signs and moved on. She is probably referring to you as “this annoying guy that won’t leave me alone”. She won’t say it to your face though. The reason for that is not because she is “to nice to do something like that” as she would say, but rather she is to disrespectful to be honest and say it straight out. If the worst case scenario comes up, you are always an ego boost to her.

20-29% -- This level of interest is only achievable if you are either forced to be together through marriage, work, school, or other places/situations of that nature. She is repelled by you, and being in the same room makes her sick.

She will find things purposely just to put you down. She can only think of the bad things you did, and has little to no respect for you. She can tolerate being with you only because of work, kids, friends or parental influences. Gold diggers may actually stick around to this level, feign sexual interest, and still say nothing provided they are getting lots of cash and nice gifts, but if they could divorce with half your estate, they are gone!

10-19% -- If you have sunk this low, you are a work of art and a dying, yet sick breed. The girl you are still lingering around or stalking thinks of you as a joke, and an absolute loser. If ever she speaks about you ever, she insults you, and says what a creep you are. You are a true women repellant.

Have some dignity, get a life, leave that poor girl alone, and don’t act so sickeningly depressed. Stop stalking her, and giving her freaky looks. The only way you have a chance with any women is if you get your act together.

0-9% -- if you managed this, you are a very very bad man… You must have done something extremely terrible to her, or someone she cared about. She is frightened of you, and hates you with a cold agonizing fire. You have caused her much suffering and pain.

Most in this category end up in jails for murders, rapes, or other terrorist acts. Most women never hate guys this much.

Hope this info helped to clear up any questions on female interests.

this is funny

Your absolutely right player. I would say many of my relationships have started in the 60%-69% (iffy) range. I can now see how all of them remained there or sunk during my AFC years. I saw some shoot to the 90% range when I became a challenge (i,e. stopped calling, act disinterested or just did't giva fyck). By the same token, girls who started in the high ranges (80%-90%) almost immediately fell to the 50%-60% level when I acted needy. As far as I am concerned, Doc Love is right on when he talks about interest level.

Great post, especially the advice for what to do in each case.

Funny and sad Just a girl. Sociatys teachings and BS has breaded many AFCs that seem to stay in the friends zone forever.

Player -

100% interest is actually a possibility with the right person.

I don't believe that there is "the one" out there for everyone. But, I do believe that when you find a person that you mesh well with, who makes you happy and you love completly - this can be manifested as 100% interest level.

I find myself in this situation now and I do show it in every way.

It is rare though. But, from what I have experienced and seen, relationships that are at 100% interest and both partners give 100% effort to the relationship, tend to work out for the best.

Perhaps 100% interest level could be achieved for a moment or so due to the rush of phenyl ethylamine (PEA) clouding the mind and making you feel insanely consumed in love. It’s just brain chemicals and neurotransmitters doing their thing.

I don’t believe that 100% interest level as a constant thing is possible though. At 100% interest, you would not have any doubts in your mind at all about the one you are with, and any time apart would be agonizing. You would almost never be apart, and if you were, you would be thinking of your partner 24/7 to the point it would disrupt your day to day living. If this level were achievable and maintainable, it would not be healthy. When you do see your partner, you would rush to have sex over and over. Of course in human nature, if you were really into each other that much, and that obsessive, it would push your partner away.

Also at 100% interest level, if your partner felt any less, it would theoretically cause you to go into a jealous rage making you do what ever you could to make him/her like you more. You would be in constant fear of losing your partner. That in itself would cause a paradox leading to doubt therefore making the 100% IL invalid.

Even if both partners were at 100%, they would be so chemically imbalanced that they would be on the same drugs they stick nymphophiliacs on. If they were not sent to a mental clinic for being crazy and obsessed to that degree, they would still push each other away due to having such high interest in each other and not being independent, or a challenge. They would see each other as needy in some way, and at least a doubt or two would pop up leading at least one partner to drop in interest level at least a little.

100% interest level would be the worst case of infatuation extracted into its purest form, then multiply its effect by the amount of money in Bill Gates bank account. Keeping it that high would cause a paradox that can’t be achieved.

In fact, in some cases keeping a 90% interest isn’t always healthy. I myself don’t let my interest go above the 80% area, cause I know much higher would only push the girl away. Also if the girl I was with took off and I was any higher, it would hurt like a *****, and I don’t want to repeat that. I don’t even let my interest pass 80% unless the girl I am with is into the 90% range, and I am sure she is LTR material.

I have felt the way you do now VeryBadGirl once, but that was in a relationship I put far into my past. This scale is more about how your partner feels on a gut level, rather then what effort put into maintaining the relationship. A relationship where both are at 99% will just collapse, and at 100% would cause an obscene amount of damage. Keep in mind that in the 90%’s, the person is likely to risk, or sacrifice anything, even cause pain at the expense of others try and please his/her partner. If you are in the 90-99% mark, it’s likely you will get jealous of anything easily.

I had a LTR where before we had a painful brake up. We were both around the 90% interest mark, and the higher up on the scale you get, the more it hurts if something goes wrong.

A relationship where both partners put in the effort, and truly care for each other is possible, but both partners are usually in the 80s range also. The only thing is that it won’t be quite as hot and steamy as a 90% relationship, but is still quite hot and steamy. When both partners are in the 90% range, its extremely intense and kinky, but will not last.

Interest level in the 90%+ range is only possible when the partner has a slight doubt that you may walk away. It is triggered by fear of loss, which causes infatuation. This range is more likely to feel jealousy and obsessive ness.

People have evolved this psychological response so they could better procreate, and protect their mate and offspring. Its not logical, just programmed into genetics over generations of evolution. Just because we all have the modern comforts of home now doesn’t mean that our basic instincts will change over a few hundred years.

I guess I see 100% interest level in a different light than you do, Player.

I see it as love - wanting what is best for that person, knowing that they are the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, desiring to do nice things for them with every fiber of your being, putting their happiness on par with your own, etc.

100% interest in the sense that no one else interests you and you focus all your efforts on maintaining a great, healthy relationship with the person you are with.

My BF and I have kept this up for over 2 years now.

On a gut level, I want to be with him for the rest of my life and I never doubt that.

But, in my experience, this has not caused any jealousy (we are not jealous people) or obsession and we still retain friends, a life, hobbies, work, etc.

But, in reality, this "percent interest level" is actually immeasurable and most likely different for every person and relationship.

I guess what it comes down to is what works for you.

There are indicators of what makes a healthy relationship vs an unhealthy one, which I have posted on the the Tips section. I think that these indicators are probably more important than a percentage.

Here's my interest level scale:

0 - I'm f*cked
1 - There's still a chance
2 - I'll almost certainly get her
3 - My d*ck's inside her.

That's my interest level scale.

Originally posted by Vatican:
Here's my interest level scale:

0 - I'm f*cked
1 - There's still a chance
2 - I'll almost certainly get her
3 - My d*ck's inside her.

That's my interest level scale.

Click to expand...

0 and 3 sound fun, the others are to much to think about.

Wow. Player69 has spelled it out in plain English for me. I'm a statistics nut, so I dig the 0-100% Interest Level scale.

Based on Player69's descriptions, the one hard-to-get girl back at my hometown has an interest level of about 58-65% (or had, the last time I saw her, which was over a month ago.) She's a 9, with a great personality (surprisingly), but VERY picky. Several months ago (before I started dating her), I overheard her saying something about not being able to get a date, even while being hit on CONSTANTLY by other guys, so I guess she has VERY high standards. I credit my DJ skills at bumping it up into the yellow (so far so good). Otherwise I would certainly have ended in the trashbin/Friends Zone. This August we'll see where it has gone over the summer.

If she forgets about me, then that's a foolproof clue about where I REALLY am. But I am surprised that she stayed in the red zone for half a year before we went out, without falling below 50%. I guess she was waiting for me to improve my DJ skills...

I also credit this website to keep driving into me to keep on the lookout for other girls to keep off one-itis. (Of course, my Mom told me this too...)

BGMan

[This message has been edited by BGMan (edited 06-26-2002).]

This is superb.

Player69, where did you get all this info?

Excellent, P69.

Originally posted by IntermediateDonJuaner:
This is superb.

Player69, where did you get all this info?

Click to expand...

After reading the DJ bible about a bizillion times, and lots of other stuff on other sites, I just decided to type it out myself. It is based off Doc Loves IL scale. Not sure if it is 100% accurate, but its my best educated guess.

I was going to add in another thing to this scale, but I felt it was missleading, and some stuff contridected, so I left it out. Ill post it here anyway, but keep in mind its more of a generalized guide, then a useful scale. Womens emotions change all the time, and the line between love and hate can be so very thin.

90-100 Infatuation
80-89 Love
70-79 Like/Love
60-69 Like
50-59 Indifferent/Like
40-49 Indifferent
30-39 Anoyed
20-29 Resentful
10-19 Paranoid
0-9 Fearful

As I said, this last scale here is not fully accurate since emotions change around a lot. It is just a generalization of what the girl will usualy feel towards you at those ILs if there are no other out side influences. Some people can love and hate someone els. ILs usually don't just plummet also unless you did something seriously wrong, but emotions can.

Just felt like doing the bump and grind

Great post Player.

The only thing you missed was how the girls at the higher interest levels will treat you soooo f'ing good and will not do anything at all to jeopardize the relationship.

Unlike at the lower levels where they are always testing you to see how much sh1t they can get away with.

VeryBadGirl, always respected your posts. Tell us how you treat your man.

Originally posted by JustDoItAlways:

Great post Player.

The only thing you missed was how the girls at the higher interest levels will treat you soooo f'ing good and will not do anything at all to jeopardize the relationship.

Unlike at the lower levels where they are always testing you to see how much sh1t they can get away with.

VeryBadGirl, always respected your posts. Tell us how you treat your man.

Click to expand...

Really? I thought I did... oh well. Try reading the first post again on this thread.

I had a 100%'er once.

For 5 years.

She was HOT!

I am talking the hottest thing walking for quite a few miles around.

I really don't know what to say other than that after reading your post about crazy people something not possible something something something, I almost feel cool I was able to maintain a relationship w/ this HB for so long with, I guess you would say both of our IL's @ 100%.

------------------
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face" -Eleanor Roosevelt

"If you do something, you'll reap rewards."

But let it be known the sh1t blew up pretty nutZ in the end.

------------------
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face" -Eleanor Roosevelt

"If you do something, you'll reap rewards."

Originally posted by JustDoItAlways:

Great post Player.

The only thing you missed was how the girls at the higher interest levels will treat you soooo f'ing good and will not do anything at all to jeopardize the relationship.

Unlike at the lower levels where they are always testing you to see how much sh1t they can get away with.

VeryBadGirl, always respected your posts. Tell us how you treat your man.

Click to expand...

Thanks JustDoIt.

Here is something that I posted in the tips section an GP.com. This is just a basic outline of how to treat your man right. The key to great romance and hot sex, though, is creativity.

A guide to treating your man right

By AngelPagel

As a very important caveat to this post: Please, please only do these things if you man treats you right as well. If you are dating a guy that lies, cheats, steals, ignores you, hits you, puts you down, etc, don’t follow this guideline. Dump him because you deserve better.

I’ve seen a problem developing on the boards and in real life about romance. So often it is the man dishing it out and the woman taking it. “How do I treat a girl I am dating?” or “How do I get my boyfriend to be more romantic?” are heard quite frequently.

Most of the romance talk is focused on the man creating the romance. And, from my experience, this is not how a good relationship should function.

Often, romance is viewed like this:

Girl: Treat me special, take me on nice dates, surprise me with flowers, keep our relationship exciting.
Guy: OK

But really, here is how it should be:

Girl: Since Bill took me on that great camping trip last weekend, I am going to surprise him with tickets to the game when his team is in town.
Guy: Wow, that game was really great. I am going to make Jane a special dinner tonight and have it ready when she comes home from work.
Girl: Yum, thanks for that great dinner, how 'bout I give you a great massage.

So, to try and close the romance gap, I decided to create this list of tried, true and field-tested ways to treat your man well. I am gearing it towards the ladies right now, but men should pay attention as well, because it can and does work for women as well. (That fact has also been tested and approved.)


1) Love yourself. Do not always depend on others as your complete source of love. Once you have self-love, self-respect and self-confidence flow from it. Then you can begin to share that love with others freely in a way that does not feed but enhances their love for themselves.

2) Don’t try to change him, love him for who he is. Pretty simple concept. Men are not blank canvasses, they are already works of art. With large issues, such as lifestyle or personality, you can’t change him. If he wants a woman who will stay at home and clean and you want to work, you need to rethink the relationship. If he never expresses his feelings for you and you want a guy who can talk the talk and walk the walk, you also have to think about ending it.

But, for smaller things, you can hopefully work it out. But, often, women try to change the small things by nagging. “Why do you have to watch sports on Sunday? Why do you have to go out for beers so much? Why can’t you do this, that or the other thing more (or less)?” (Lucky for me, I really like going out for beers, but not all women do.)

You have to realize that he enjoys doing things he likes just as you enjoy doing things you like. You have three choices to deal with this, and you should probably use a mix of both –

A) Occasionally join him and try to enjoy the things he likes as well.
B) Lead by example. Do the things for him that you want him to do for you. (See #4)
C) Do your own things during this time.

3) Which brings me to my third point. Give each other space to be individuals. He loves football and you hate it. So, you can take Sunday to go running with your friends or go to a museum. Although you are one in many things, you should both have your own interests as well. They add to your happiness and allow for breathing room.

4) Make your man feel special. This is basically the definition of ROMANCE, in my mind. You can’t be selfish in a relationship, always wanting your guy to make you feel like a queen. You have to remember that you have to make him feel like a King too. The key to this is IMAGINATION and THOUGHT.

Some of the things you can do are very small – like remembering to compliment him on his ideas or his body every once and awhile. He wants to know that you enjoy his company and also want his hot body. Or, remembering to kiss him hello each time you see him or squeezing his butt in an elevator. Or, making him a nice dinner. It is all about thinking of nice things to do and remembering to do them.

As far as big things go, gifts are great. Often it is the thought that is big but the gift is small. Often this gift can be big as well. As with small things, surprise and spontaneity can make or break a romantic gift. I’m not going to tell you what to buy a man, because you know your guy better than I. But, if he likes to cook by him a cookbook, if he likes to hike buy him a trail map and take him there. Surprise trips can also go in the great gift category.

5) Be positive and fun to be around. Obviously, no one is 100% perky all the time, but most often, you should be making each other happy, not sad, depressed, angry or hurt. Negative emotions often rub off on others. And being positive is a big part of creating happiness. A great way to be positive and happy is to laugh at yourself and not take every small thing so seriously. All this goes back to point #1 about loving yourself. You have to do that to be a positive person.

6) Forget about power. It has no place in a healthy relationship. Don’t try to hold up sex or anything else as a card in a power play. Once you develop true intimacy, honesty and trust in a relationship, it no longer becomes a game. Because, in a game, only one person wins. Having a good relationship is about both people winning.

7) Be enthusiastic about sex. Flirt with him, talk about how much you want him and initiate sex on a regular basis. Send him a steamy email or letter. Whisper in his ear at a party and go into a closet. Touch him frequently. A good sex life is based on both people really wanting each other. Imagination is key here as well.

8) Respect your man. Respecting his ideas, his needs and his wants should be important to you. You want him to respect you, so you have to respect him. Reciprocity is the key to healthy relationships in all matters, especially respect.

Whoa, sorry that was so long. But, I hope it helped.