heres the thing...

here's teh thing guys.... and this is kind of what my posts about people are good, live without fear, don't limit yourself to just hb10s, etc. is all about...

you only get this one life. the clock is ticking. one day the lights are going to go out and never come back on.

so you have a choice.

you can wake up each day and make the most out of life or you can wake up each day and complain about life.

if you wake up and make the most of it that means that you emphasize the positives. you give people in your life a chance. you love and accept yourself. you live without fear. you stand by your principles (and if you haven't developed them yet, then work on doing so). and more than anything, you show appreciation for everything that you have - no matter how little it may be (because whatever you've got, you could always have less!).

if you wake up and decide to complain about life (and sure, theres lots to complain about if you want) you will fritter away your years.

every day you read about people getting hit by cars, getting cancer, getting killed in iraq, etc. - life can be worse.

and i urge you to really consider how much your attitude towards life shapes the experience you have of life.

im not saying life will always be easy. i have a very basic rule. when things are going good, work your ass off to keep that momentum going (because eventually the momentum will reverse for a while - its just the nature of things). and when things are going badly, work your butt off to minimize the damage your life suffers. just like playing the stock market - make the most of your gains when the going is good and minimize your losses when the going gets bad.

but i reiterate. no matter how 'bad' life may seem, its all that you've got. and you only have one. and i urge you to really take stock of just how 'bad' it really is and how much of the 'bad' is merely your outlook on life. cuz i can tell you right now, there are BILLIONS of people who would literally give their left nut to have your life - because their life consists of a hard miserable existence living in squalor accompanied by an early death.

for those of you who are fans of the movie fight club, you know the mantra - JUST LET GO.

but what i've been talking about is not letting go of everything - not letting go of the world around you. i've bee talking about letting go of all the negative emotions, the fear, the anger, the judgement, the spite, etc.

when i say JUST LET GO - i mean let go of all that sh*t and then EMBRACE the world around you.

i wish someone had slapped me upside the head when i was young and explained all this to me. i wish someone had told me that life isn't forever ,that there is no time to waste *****ing about it and focusing on the things you don't have.

enjoy and appreciate every day guys. whether that's watching a UFC fight, asking out some chic, going for a jog, having a nice dinner, etc.

if you start to appreciate the experience of living - the every day stuff like your favourite tv show, the rush you get from a work out, a good meal, etc. - you will realize that there is lots of stuff for to be appreciative of.

so regardless of what everyone else in life is doing (whether they are being selfish or kind, whether they are liars or honest, etc.), the only question is HOW DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?

and whatever answer you come up with to that question - if your answer is 'i want to be happy and enjoy my life' - THEN START DOING IT! you don't need a woman, a job, money, a car, etc.. to have what you want. its all in your head. if you want to be happy and enjoy life then be happy and enjoy life (and i've just told you how in my wordss above).

to me the very defintion of maturity is when you reach a point where what the world is doing doesn't matter. you know who you are, you know what you want from yourself and life, and you live it - and most importantly you appreciate the chance you have to do so!

Yeah, good one, J.

This post is awesome. joekker you should be getting paid to give the advice you give. Write a fvcking book. Have podcasts like playersupreme. Be a counselor. You have a gift use it.

This thread should be a sticky.

you're right joekerr.

because when it's your time to go, it'll be too late to alter your perspective.

every young man, myself included, must take this lesson to heart and actualize it.

Defeatist, minimalist thinking will do absolutely nothing but wear you down.

I just watched The Bucket List and it's essence is the point of brother Joekerr's thread. Learn to let go and do those things which frighten you, make you mad, get you squirting tears, do all of these things because it is ONLY these times in which you realize you're ALIVE! You're awake to the sensations and lessons of a world where regret and looking behind you cease to exist.

Joekerr..thank you.

I really needed to hear this. Have you noticed? ... sometimes, it seems, there's a poster here on this forum, that speaks directly to you. This post, today, speaks to me...

I almost lost my left hand at work today. But, I lucked out! I won't go into the details, because it really doesn't matter, but I just want to remind folks that it's the little things that matter.

The things we take for granted. The every day things that we don't notice, or take for granted, or fail to realize..how those things would affect us, it they are suddenly taken.

So, I see my family after work. I'm smiling like a cheshire cat, but they can't figure out why?!? They don't know, and I'm not going to tell them, but the thought appears...

they could have seen me today. yes, but, they when they would have seen me thier happiness would not have been there, as I saw it today.

They would have been worried sick because I would have been in the hospital..

Man...the things we take for granted...

Our families, our friends, our health..

Gentlemen, appreciate your life. Take charge of this gift that we all have. Things can change, for the better, or the worse, at any given moment.

There are no pockets in the shroud.

Good post man,



:rockon:

JoeKerr will continue to make posts that will "speak" to you, because there's a number of us going in the same direction on this forum.

JoeKerr will speak the "same things you already feel" because we share the same internal beliefs and mindsets.

I wanted to add, that life isn't fair, however it is a game.

There are players in life and there are those who are played. The ones that play life are those who have studied it and "figured it out" and thus know how to go through the trials and tribulations and ups in life. Those that are played, are those who haven't "understood" life yet.

Women is all a game, nothing personal, just a game. They demand a sexual human being and a comfortable human being, that combined with looks, status, and potential to be something in life and we have a guy that will make women horny and keep women attracted. So all a guy has to do is understand this and add these aspects to himself. He then finds out that women are realitively easy to obtain and maintain. Again, nothing personal, it's just a game.

Business is all a game. It's about demand in the marketplace and having a solution that fits that demand uniquely and above other competing businesses looking to fulfill the same need. Once you learn how to do this and tailor your services and time spent marketing toward this, you will be fine and acquiring money won't be hard at all. Again, nothing personal, it's just a game.

Have you guys ever played chess?

Chess is viewed by many people as very difficult and HARD to overcome, you know why? Because they don't understand how to play chess and the parameters of chess, if they did, they would understand that chess is relatively simple lol.

You guys take life, women, business, and other aspects of our existence PERSONAL and TOO SERIOUS. Instead, just play the game and learn to LOVE THE GAME.

In the end, not only will you beat the game, but (after practicing a lot) you might end up as one of the game's highest scorers ever.

Posts like this used to do something for me. They don't any more. Life, death, no real difference in the end. Seems like a fool's game to take one's life so seriously.

Everyone dies. What's this nonsense about "making your life count"? It doesn't. You're a slave to a survival instinct that tells you to live hard so your life has some meaningful impact after you die. It doesn't. Even if you make it into the history books, who remembers d!ck about history class?

"Now" is a drop of water in a vast sea of past, present, and future that we're all tossed through. Something that the harder you try to grasp it, the more elusive it becomes. Seize the day? It's like trying to grasp at water or air.

Consciousness is a joke in poor taste. Man likes to make up ideas like a "divine soul" to explain his "place" in the universe. He has no place. He's just a consequence of a random series of vibrations. His very existence is an illusion...even his knowledge of his own existence is an illusion, a reflection unto itself.

Make the most? The least? Complain? Don't complain? You act like "frittering away years" is a bad thing, like these 80something-odd years are really WORTH that much. Look around you...look how many 80something-odd years of life are staged on this Earth at this very instant. 6 billion people. 480 BILLION years of living to be done...and you think your 80 years is important in the grand scheme of things? You think you're going to change the world somehow? LOL.

Is maturity "appreciation of your chance to live"? Let's be honest here...it would have been much more likely that you had NEVER lived, and you wouldn't have cared. You could die in your sleep tonight...and you wouldn't care. You'd be dead. How could you care? Like I said, life/death, what's the difference, when you come right down to it, aside from some natural survival instinct?

To be or not to be...either one is a perfectly viable option. The truth is that we only go on living each day, we only have a will to life, because we're afraid. We're desperately afraid of trading the devil we know (life) for the devil we don't know (death). But death is coming for us all, so we feel like we have to make the MOST of our lives, as if that makes some kind of a difference. Dead is dead. Doesn't matter how pretty the show was you put on while you were here, six feet of dirt is six feet of dirt.

I don't get people like you. I really wish I did...I wish I could feel those feelings without realizing how stupid they are. Once you know what's up, though, you really can't feel sh!t any more. You don't get excited for the moment, because it'll be gone just as quickly as it came, and once it passes it has no meaning. People are only "passionate" about something as long as it's convenient for them to be. Convictions change all the time...and then die when you die. Everyone makes up these ideas of nobility of purpose to justify the mundane crap they do.

You want to quote Fight Club? You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world. You are all part of the same rotting compost heap.

It seems like I get this far and no further. Sometimes I hope if I keep digging, I'll bust up through the ground in some Chinese marketplace.

squirrels-

geeze, even if you speak a hard truth that you may believe, why spread this vixon to others?

and though it is true that we live, we die... there is a VITAL difference...

we are not DEAD YET....that is the difference.

LIVE. live for now. embrace life. that air you grasp to breathe. ENJOY

that food you put in your mouth. ENJOY the smell, the taste.

life has its trials and tribulations, and its just like a rollercoaster.

we know at the end of this ride we get off and move on. but id rather enjoy the thrills while riding instead of playing numb

DavenJuan said:

squirrels-

geeze, even if you speak a hard truth that you may believe, why spread this vixon to others?

Click to expand...

Because it's a puzzle...one I haven't been able to solve on my own.

And most of the people I present the puzzle to are so "depressed" by it that they refuse to tackle it. They would rather stay ignorant of it. Everyone I talk to about it says, "That's not true! I refuse to believe it! It CAN'T work that way!". But that's forced naivety trying to deny what's real and hoping it'll go away.

I'm looking for someone who can say, "Yes, that's all absolutely correct. But here's the part you're MISSING...".

Like I said, if there is light on the other side, it needs to be found.

squirrels man you are depressed. I get numb feelings like that from time to time and its usually when I have no interests in my life (no hobbies, girlfriend, etc)

Your line of thinking is essentially boredom. I start going out with a girl or playing a sport and suddenly I feel far more alive and experience emotions that I had told myself I would not experience. I know the feeling squirrels, you tell yourself you could travel around the world twice, have sex with 100 beautiful women and it wouldn't matter after you die.

True but so what? Put it another way, there are six billion people on earth, why on earth would you expect them to remember you? What honestly has that got to do with you living your life?

If you actually started doing any of these things then you would realize how exciting life can be. I know people who have done many exciting things had lots of sex and I honestly don't think they're that concerned about what people will think of them after their death. They're too busy living life and having a good time. Your sense of hopelessness comes from doing nothing of interest to you.

ducaro said:

Life is about being comfortable. Who wants stress, pain and discomfort? Yet when you have all the comfort every single day, we as humans 'want more'... this is where the problems arise.

Lots of people are having lots of fun.. they have great jobs, have passionate pink raunchy sex lives, go on the best holidays, drink, dance, joke, laugh, eat great food, have good conversations... and lots more... why would you NOT want to have even half of that? Why are you stuck up?

Click to expand...

Good post Ducaro!

Sometimes life becomes a big mess of different kinds of stresses, work, bills, goals, women, mortgages...etc.

It's important to step back and realize that life is meant to be enjoyed. It's the little everyday things that make the difference. That first cup of coffee in the morning, so to speak. The things we take for granted are not apparant to us, until their gone.

the OP is awesome

that was a hell of a read...I just took a 5 min break at work..while the others are smoking cigs outside to read this.
Holy ****..that is just awesome...


its everything Ive forgotten about...

as bad as I think my life is right now..im sitting in a warm area, at a desk, with coffee, diet coke, and crystal light water, I have on nice pants, shoes, and a nice shirt.

I have a doctors appt with a professional at 12:30 to help heal my physical wound with top notch care...I have family members efforting today so I can see my son...I have family members who will financially help me threw a bad spell.

After work I get to see my grandma and help her around her home while she cooks me a nice meal before I head to the gym for my high of the day...I get to go back home..well home to my friends house who is letting me stay for free until I get my life on track and have another great meal with them and shoot the **** before bed.


I should feel humiliated that I complain about that life...

squirrels said:

I don't get people like you. I really wish I did...I wish I could feel those feelings without realizing how stupid they are. Once you know what's up, though, you really can't feel sh!t any more. You don't get excited for the moment, because it'll be gone just as quickly as it came, and once it passes it has no meaning. People are only "passionate" about something as long as it's convenient for them to be. Convictions change all the time...and then die when you die. Everyone makes up these ideas of nobility of purpose to justify the mundane crap they do.

You want to quote Fight Club? You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world. You are all part of the same rotting compost heap.

Click to expand...

what you are saying is analogous, in my opinion, to going to the theme park and not enjoy the rides because you are know that you're not ACTUALLY in a haunted house. that its all mirrors, holograms, mechanical gears, etc.

ya, its all a big game, as gerard says. I don't see why you can't enjoy that game just because you understand it is a game.

although i prefer to use the term 'experience'. thats all life is, an experience.

as for the fight club quote, there are always two sides to the same coin. you can choose to emphasize the limitations of life 'oh whats the point i'm just going to die in the end' or emphasize the positives 'holy crap, what a wierd and strange experience being alive is. i better make the most of this because this is a limited time offer."

squirrels said:

Because it's a puzzle...one I haven't been able to solve on my own.

And most of the people I present the puzzle to are so "depressed" by it that they refuse to tackle it. They would rather stay ignorant of it. Everyone I talk to about it says, "That's not true! I refuse to believe it! It CAN'T work that way!". But that's forced naivety trying to deny what's real and hoping it'll go away.

I'm looking for someone who can say, "Yes, that's all absolutely correct. But here's the part you're MISSING...".

Like I said, if there is light on the other side, it needs to be found.

Click to expand...

well ill tell you squirrel i've spent most of my life trying to figure the puzzle out. thats why im espouse the view i currently have. its not one that has come out of nowhere. and its not one that has come from a pleasant past.
its one that has come out of the futility of banging my head against the wall over and over and over as the result of seeing only life's negatives.

the big mistake i think you are making is thinking that there is something to life to be figured out. there isn't. life is not a puzzle. its an experience.

there are some rules to it. like if you eat macdonalds every day you will get fat. or if you don't develop self respect your life won't be very enjoyable. etc.

but ultimately its just an experience.

and what gives this experience so much BAM IN YOUR FACE impact, is precisely that we don't know why we are here.

at least with the theme park we walk into the park, we get on the ride, we experience the ride, we get off the ride. there is a beginning, middle and end. but with life, its almost like someone drugged us and we woke up in the amusement park with amnesia. its a very confusing state. we want to know how we got there, why we are there, etc.

but we'll never know. the people who drugged us won't reveal themselves. just like whatever forces are behind the fact that we exist aren't going to reveal themselves to you in this life.

so you have a choice. you can spend all your time trying to figure out how you came to be in the theme park, or you can start enjoying the rides.

billions of people have been born, lived and died in this world without the 'reason' for their existence being revealed to them. we will be no different.

we will find out 'the reason' after we die (if there is an after life).

but for the time being, all we can do is make the best of what we have to work with. to enjoy the theme park even though we have no idea how we got there or why.

vorbis said:

squirrels man you are depressed. I get numb feelings like that from time to time and its usually when I have no interests in my life (no hobbies, girlfriend, etc)

They're too busy living life and having a good time. Your sense of hopelessness comes from doing nothing of interest to you.

Click to expand...

i don't think he is depressed in the traditional sense. i think its more existential / nihilistic angst.

as human beings are are cognisant that life isnt fair in the sense that we don't have all the answers - we dont know why we are here or what will come after we die, we don't know our 'raison detre' (reason for being).

and if you are someone that NEEDS answers (as i use to be) then it can be a VERY frustrating and depressing thing to think about. its a puzzle that cannot be solved. Just like an ant has no idea how big the earth is, we have no idea how big the universe and reality is. but to know that you don't know, and that you can never know, is very frustrating.

at some point he'll realize that time is running out, that its pointless to waste your entire life trying to figure life out, and he'll focus more on what is the best way to LIVE life, as opposed to WHAT is life.

joekerr31 said:

what you are saying is analogous, in my opinion, to going to the theme park and not enjoy the rides because you are know that you're not ACTUALLY in a haunted house. that its all mirrors, holograms, mechanical gears, etc.

Click to expand...

You could say that...like seeing the strings in a puppet show, or realizing that Santa Claus is just your mom and dad.

See...that's the thing. "Enjoyment" seems to require forgetting just how stupid it all is...but once you KNOW you can't UN-KNOW those things. How can you determine the best way to live without knowing what your life is??

squirrels said:

You could say that...like seeing the strings in a puppet show, or realizing that Santa Claus is just your mom and dad.

See...that's the thing. "Enjoyment" seems to require forgetting just how stupid it all is...but once you KNOW you can't UN-KNOW those things. How can you determine the best way to live without knowing what your life is??

Click to expand...

well try to think of it like this. imagine you existed in some other place and time. some boring future where everything is automated, no wars, no passion, everything is taken care of, no personal growth, etc. - and everyone is basically bored out of their mind.

and then some company comes along and says 'we've got the experience of a life time! we'll plug you into this machine and you will experience an entirely new life and world. you'll have no clue why you exist, or what is going on, and you'll have to fumble around and make the best of it. you'll experience love, suffering, confusion, enlightenment, etc."

and you go 'oh man, i've GOT to experience that."

and voila, here you are. the greatest theme park ride in the universe. the wildest, most engaging, most scary, most thrilling experience you could ever ask for. at times you'll want off the ride, other times you'll feel like you are having the most amazing experience, etc.

and part of the ride is that you don't know how you got there or why you are there. its endless stimulation - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.

and the biggest thing is that you don't even know that you signed up for the ride. part of the experience is that they wipe your mind clean and you don't even know that you are plugged in to a machine.

and so you experience this crazy insane ride for 80 years then die. then you wake up and they say 'so how was the ride?"

and you'll be like 'oh my god. that was INSANE! i want to go again, plug me back in. i felt so ALIVE!" - even all the pain and suffering that you went through wouldn't keep you from going on the ride again.

see, as human beings we have a natural tendency to want to be in control. but the problem is that really, we aren't. 99% of life is out of control. the ONLY thing we have control over is how we react to life - our belief system, our emotional reactions, etc. thats it! - in essence how we choose to feel and think about 'the ride'.

you really have to simply let go and enjoy the experience. now the positive thing is that the process of endlessly questioning why do i exist, what is life all about, etc. - is an interesting process - its a ride at the theme park if you will.

but once you've been on that particular ride for a few years, its time to move on to the next ride. because if you spend your entire life just riding one ride in the theme park you're not getting the full experience.

now the 'Why?" ride that you are on is one that most people probably will never get on. they are too scared of it. the line up for that line is really short.

but thats fine. they aren't getting the full experience of life. but at some point you'll have to get off the 'Why?" ride and start experiencing some of the other rides.

your existential angst is a good thing. its only going to be a bad thing if you get 'stuck' in it forever. even then, it won't technically be bad, it will simply limit your life experience - your life experience won't be as rich as it otherwise could be - you'll only have eaten vanilla ice cream and never have tasted strawberry, chocolate, bubble gum, etc.

yes, at its core life, as the human consciousness comes to know it, is a paradox. it doesn't make sense to us humans (because we need to know WHY). but you have to stop asking why at some point - trust me, there is no clear cut answer to the question (thousands of men brighter than us have pondered it and failed to come up with answers that everyone can agree on).

you need to shift from WHY am i here to WHAT is the best way to live - HOW can i maximize my happiness and enjoy this life - how can i make the best of things.

i don't care if you are in jail, a prisoner of war, a rock star, etc. - the ONLY thing you can ever do is try to make the best of things. and as such the best use of your time and effort is to study HOW to make the best of things. don't waste time asking WHY you are a prisoner of war - we will never know why - spend your time asking HOW do i make the best of things given what i have to work with.

joekerr31 said:

...the 'Why?" ride that you are on is one that most people probably will never get on. they are too scared of it. the line up for that line is really short.

but thats fine. they aren't getting the full experience of life. but at some point you'll have to get off the 'Why?" ride and start experiencing some of the other rides.

Click to expand...

I've been on the "why" ride since I was a teen and I want OFF! It's hard to imagine most people not being on the ride I'm on of wanting to know all the answers. You're saying it almost like it's a good thing (lol). Sometimes I'm envious of the people who couldn't care less about why the world is this way or that... they just walk around having fun and getting laid. Sometimes our intelligence and creativity can work against us.

I'm all about self-reflection... but like you mentioned I'm ready for the next ride. I can't spend my whole life analzying my childhood experiences. I've been analyzing those experiences longer than I actually had the experiences themselves (that's my version of why I suppose, trying to make peace with the past).

But I doubt I'll ever get off the "why" ride but maybe the ride can get upgraded when the rest of the theme park goes through renovation.