This article illustrates more than the writer intends:
http://archives.cnn.com/2000/HEALTH/03/15/divorce.suicide.wmd/index.html
The article says that there is a high suicide rate for divorced men. The suicide rate for divorced women and single men is much lower, so much lower that this article was written to wonder why it is so.
What is funny is that the story interviews the *experts*: psychologists or family law people. In other words, these the 'egghead' people.
Never once in the article do they interview a divorced man. They also do not remark on the suicide notes these men make.
However, any one of us can go and ask a divorced man why divorced men are highly likely to commit suicide. They tell me they are not surprised at all by such statistics. They say many divorced men want to commit suicide because:
-They found out the hard way that the wife was not who she said she was. She ends up becoming a demi-devil, initiating the divorce, creating lies about her husband, and attempts to turn the kids against him.
-That his 'deep love' was used as a manipulation tool.
-Realization that the law and family courts are stacked in the woman's favor.
-But the big reason is the fact that he cannot start anew. He is forever bound financially. He must pay child support and 'support' for the wife. He does not mind child support (since he knows it is his job as a father to take care of his children) but is furious that there is no overseer that all the money goes to the kids, or that the 'amount' of money for the kids is justified.
This is what they have told me. Now let us see the reasons the *eggheads* have. Speak eggheads!
super-human female powers that men do not, such as creating networks of social support with other women, and women are so superior to men with their super feminine powers that they have much deeper friendships."
We know better. Friendship among women is paper thin, they stab their girlfriend in the back if it suits them.
If your best bud came by and had a hot new girlfriend, you think, "Hey, I ought to get myself a hot new girlfriend too!"
For women it is different. The girl finds her best girlfriend comes by and has a hot new boyfriend, she thinks, "OMG, I MUST have that guy!! I'll do anything for it even if I have to slit that b*tch's throat!"
Deep friendship indeed.
But the article hilariously undermines itself by including single men as having much less suicide than divorced men. Single men, like all men, would be, in the egghead's eyes, inferior to women's super-human social network and friendship abilities.
Another egghead says:
What is most sad is that men see the family as breaking up, the women often see it as a family upgrade. "Look kids, you're getting a new father. An upgraded better father!"
These questions are not asked. The article gives us this explanation:
But, eggheads, pray tell, surely the women suffer as well?
"Blasphemy! How dare you say such a thing!"
If it wasn't an improvement, then why do most women initiate the divorce anyway?
The article is not concerned about that. Nor does it dare ask such questions.
What the article does tell us is that men's talents differ from women with one thing:
Self destruction.
Already, the article lists men cope with stress in self destructive ways. Divorced men commit more suicides not because they are 'sadder' than the divorced women, but because men are more violent as a gender!
"That is extreme for you to say."
But what other conclusion can be made from the following:
Also, the higher the age, the less likely the man can start over.
If the 51 percent is true, then that means African American men commit suicide at a rate of 2-1 against women. This is still majorly flopsided. Perhaps this is seen as 'normal' in the eggheads' eyes since they think all men naturally fall to patterns of self destruction.
This quote is insulting to say the least. Anything men do is their fault. The article says that divorces are man's fault. It also says that men kill themselves because they are inferior to women (since they lack the female super-support ability).
http://archives.cnn.com/2000/HEALTH/03/15/divorce.suicide.wmd/index.html
The article says that there is a high suicide rate for divorced men. The suicide rate for divorced women and single men is much lower, so much lower that this article was written to wonder why it is so.
What is funny is that the story interviews the *experts*: psychologists or family law people. In other words, these the 'egghead' people.
Never once in the article do they interview a divorced man. They also do not remark on the suicide notes these men make.
However, any one of us can go and ask a divorced man why divorced men are highly likely to commit suicide. They tell me they are not surprised at all by such statistics. They say many divorced men want to commit suicide because:
-They found out the hard way that the wife was not who she said she was. She ends up becoming a demi-devil, initiating the divorce, creating lies about her husband, and attempts to turn the kids against him.
-That his 'deep love' was used as a manipulation tool.
-Realization that the law and family courts are stacked in the woman's favor.
-But the big reason is the fact that he cannot start anew. He is forever bound financially. He must pay child support and 'support' for the wife. He does not mind child support (since he knows it is his job as a father to take care of his children) but is furious that there is no overseer that all the money goes to the kids, or that the 'amount' of money for the kids is justified.
This is what they have told me. Now let us see the reasons the *eggheads* have. Speak eggheads!
Translated: "Women do not commit as much after-divorce suicide because they are superior to men. Women haveThe difference, he theorized, lies in how men and women form social bonds. Men make friends with whom they can hang out, and women make friends with whom they can share their feelings. "Women are socialized to have more friends, deeper friendships, and so on. Men are socialized differently, to be macho, and do not have much deeper friendships. So when a divorce occurs, women have more of a social support network."
super-human female powers that men do not, such as creating networks of social support with other women, and women are so superior to men with their super feminine powers that they have much deeper friendships."
We know better. Friendship among women is paper thin, they stab their girlfriend in the back if it suits them.
If your best bud came by and had a hot new girlfriend, you think, "Hey, I ought to get myself a hot new girlfriend too!"
For women it is different. The girl finds her best girlfriend comes by and has a hot new boyfriend, she thinks, "OMG, I MUST have that guy!! I'll do anything for it even if I have to slit that b*tch's throat!"
Deep friendship indeed.
But the article hilariously undermines itself by including single men as having much less suicide than divorced men. Single men, like all men, would be, in the egghead's eyes, inferior to women's super-human social network and friendship abilities.
Another egghead says:
The number one reason I hear from divorced men of why they DON'T commit suicide is because of their children.Another reason why men may have problems coping with divorce is that they not only lose the role of husband, but their fatherly role also often changes, said Bruce Hillowe, J.D., Ph.D., a family law attorney and a clinical psychologist in Long Island, New York.
"It's still generally the case that when children are involved, the mother becomes the custodial parent," said Hillowe. Generally speaking, "men lose the role of being a father in a way that women do not lose the role of being a mother."
What is most sad is that men see the family as breaking up, the women often see it as a family upgrade. "Look kids, you're getting a new father. An upgraded better father!"
If the woman initiates the divorce, why does the man feel guilty? A man can be guilty for many things, and he can make mistakes as a husband (for he is Human and Humans make mistakes). But it is unreasonable to conclude that the man is always guilty. How did the woman fare as a wife? Could part of the problem be due to the woman at all?Compounding the problem: Men often feel like they're responsible for the failure of a marriage, said Alvin Baraff, Ph.D., an expert on relationships from a male perspective, and founder and director of Men Center Counseling in Washington, D.C.
"Typically, the man is shocked at the news that he's going to be divorced," said Baraff, noting that women initiate the majority of divorce proceedings.
These questions are not asked. The article gives us this explanation:
Translation: "He doesn't get it because he is stupid. Women cannot even be partially blamed because women's communication skills, as we all know, are super-human for each woman is a social-genius and we would do well to learn from such genius.""The woman has also been dropping hints all over the place for the man, but he just doesn't get it. He never thinks it's as bad as she does. He's lost not only a wife, he typically loses his children, home, and money."
But, eggheads, pray tell, surely the women suffer as well?
So what do the women do to 'cope'? The article does not say, it merely goes on. The article says the women also must 'cope' but it never hints at anything. For all we know, women cope well with divorces (not because they possess super-human emotional talents) but because they see it as an improvement in their lives.That's not to say divorce is a bed of roses for women, said Howard Markman, Ph.D., author of "Fighting for Your Marriage" and a psychologist at The University of Denver. Rather, the findings reflect different coping styles between the sexes. "Men, in general, in the face of stress, tend to do more destructive coping, like turn to substance abuse," Markman said.
"Blasphemy! How dare you say such a thing!"
If it wasn't an improvement, then why do most women initiate the divorce anyway?
The article is not concerned about that. Nor does it dare ask such questions.
What the article does tell us is that men's talents differ from women with one thing:
Self destruction.
Already, the article lists men cope with stress in self destructive ways. Divorced men commit more suicides not because they are 'sadder' than the divorced women, but because men are more violent as a gender!
"That is extreme for you to say."
But what other conclusion can be made from the following:
So according to this, women are equally distressed about their divorce. They, however, have a lower suicide rate because they try to kill themselves but they lack the 'self destruction' talents that the article says men hold."He pointed out that men tend to have a higher suicide rate because they are more likely to use guns to kill themselves, whereas women attempt suicide with less lethal methods, such as poisonings or cuts."
We know that if a man is poor, a woman won't marry him in the first place. So where did this poverty come from? Could it have come from the payments along with the home?Kposowa analyzed data on more than 472,000 people collected from 1979 to 1989. Of that group, 545 people committed suicide, with men outnumbering women four-to-one.
Confirming other studies on suicide, Kposowa found that for both sexes, poverty and age increased the risk of killing oneself -- those 65 and over have a 55 percent greater risk than people aged 15 to 24.
Also, the higher the age, the less likely the man can start over.
How does it 'suggest' it? The article does not say. How does this correlation hint at the causation of lack of social support? There is no answer.White men in the study were also 51 percent more likely than African American men to commit suicide, a finding that may suggest a stronger support network among men in the black community, Kposowa said.
If the 51 percent is true, then that means African American men commit suicide at a rate of 2-1 against women. This is still majorly flopsided. Perhaps this is seen as 'normal' in the eggheads' eyes since they think all men naturally fall to patterns of self destruction.
Translated: "The reason why divorced men are slaughtering themselves is the fault due to artificial gender roles. We must indoctrinate young men to be more like women so they will adopt the feminine super-human communication/social network/deep friendships that women have. Men, currently, are inable to have friendships. Thus, we need more feminity in society so they will adopt the super-powers that women have."The study emphasizes the need to adjust the gender roles expected by society, said Constance Ahrons, Ph.D., author of "The Good Divorce" and a sociology professor at the University of Southern California. But experts admit that convincing men to acquaint themselves with their emotional side can be a hard sell. "Maybe, if we go back to (a younger) age, we can teach men skills for having friendships," Ahrons said.
This quote is insulting to say the least. Anything men do is their fault. The article says that divorces are man's fault. It also says that men kill themselves because they are inferior to women (since they lack the female super-support ability).