Docs - Newbie Tips to Conversation-Starting and Building.

There's that girl! *turns head* You can't help but wonder who she is, how cute she is and how cool she is, yet....that nagging problem of "I'd look like an idiot", "What do I say?", "She's not going to like me", or other such wonderful excuses from the books of single-life. This post will tell you the basics that you need so you don't need excuses to not talk, you'll FIND excuses TO talk to her.

Numbeo Un! - Give her some EC.
Stupid as that sounds, don't stare at her, look AT her. Catch her glance at you. In a matter of seconds, if you didn't give the EC, she would have found you uninterested and would have moved on looking elsewhere.

Numbeo Du-h! - Say something.
Keep it simple. Really simple. I am honestly saying that the word 'Hi' or 'Hello' is one of the most effective ways to start a conversation. I say that, because it is the first word normally out of your mouth. Now, any sensible girl out there will smile/say hello back/come up to you/etc.

Numbeo Trois! - Question!
Ask what's up, how's the weather, what's that book she's carrying, pick something out and use it. Combine it with your Hello and you've generated a effective and almost limitless way to initate conversation, whether you know them or not.

You cannot talk without knowing.
You cannot know without asking.
You cannot ask without noticing.
You cannot notice if you aren't looking for anything.

Numbeo Cat! - Listen. Re-Question.
We can ask all of the general questions we can notice and we won't get far. You may get a response by saying that the weather is snowy, but does it give you information, not really, not unless you listen.

So how do we listen. Let's take a sample.
You - Hello, What's up?
Her - Nothing, you?

That's our situation. What would some people normally say? "Nothing". This translates to a dead conversation. If you listened, you would have picked up that she asked you a question back. (Holy crap, wow!)

What you have to do now, is question back. So to do this again..
You - Hello, What's up?
Her - Nothing, you? (and on to the next point..)

Numbeo Ciank! - Connect.
(presuming she goes to the same school, but if you noticed her everyday on your way to school...I shouldn't have had to say that)

You - Not a lot, just that I've been studying a bunch for Calc. What classes do you take?
...and onwards.

What I just did, was I connected with this girl on a level she knows. She goes to school so it is a applicible topic. Even if she didn't go to school, she should correct you.
Her - I don't go to school, I work instead.

Take a hint at what I should ask next?
Me - Where do you work?
Her - (let's say..) Tim Hortons.
Next point!

Numbeo Sease! - Comment.
You got the questions down, don't kill them. They are most important, but they get old quick. To make a conversation progress further, you must comment, show an opinion.
Me - Nice! I think I've seen you before, I like to get Timmy's on Tuesday nights.
Her - I think I've seen you too!

Numbeo Cept! - Continue and know when to change topic, find the Click.
You've learnt to question, to listen and to comment. Combine it all and that is half of the battle to holding a conversation.

Me - Do you know what I take for coffee?
Her - No I don't.
Me - I think you served me once, I bought a LTT.
Her - Cool.
*Here...is where the convo is dying*

This is the hardest part of a conversation. No matter the topic, it will get old. Some people let the awkward slience go...and then come back with a 'Sooo......'

That's a failure. We want to succeed so we try to change the topic. We want to keep this topic related if we can, but if we got no choice, you gotta be quick.

*So since I noticed she was on my bus..*
You - Are you going to work right now? (related, prevelent circumstances)
Her - Oh no, I'm going to the mall to go shop for some clothes.

Guess what...Continue!! You want to make this convo as interesting as possible for both of you, so if you can find a point where she is excited to talk about something, go with it! Noone likes to hear a question every time you mouth opens, but they also don't want to hear opinion all the time. Find a balance and find the topic that she likes. Assisted Credit: Boner da Stoner

Don't worry about getting the girls number..just enjoy the conversation.

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To recap the important points...
Numbeo Un! - Give her some EC.
Numbeo Du-h! - Say something.
Numbeo Trois! - Question!
Numbeo Cat! - Listen Re-Question.
Numbeo Ciank! - Connect.
Numbeo Sease! - Comment.

EC, Notice, Ask, Listen, Repeat.
Enjoy the conversation

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The next step to conversations is to be ****y & Funny (C&F), To ask different types of questons (open/close ended), to flirt and to create interest, but that is a different post.

Enjoy, comments/suggestions welcomed.

Great tip, Docs. However, if you have to pause and think to yourself "ok, next step... comment", it won't work. The convo has to flow smoothly. Any tips on making that transition?

1) Practice

Fill in the rest, guys .

Merci,

You shouldn't have to think about when to comment or question, in the end, those two things will work seamlessly together and there will be no problem talking. It's like hockey..or soccer, you take your chance when you can (comment), and you gather information and manuveur yourself into position the rest of the time.

Indeed, practice is key. Noone will pick this up instantly, or even quickly. And every convo, every person is different, and only practice can prepare you for the different ways people give off topics, and interest levels.

Walk before running, or in other words...don't use the ****y and funny until you can hold a normal conversation..

I'm really sad to say that there are people who don't like to lose their track of mind... and thats where many guys and girls are at...

I've had people come up to me and go through every one of the steps you've just mentioned... they seem only to correspond to the socially stunted out there, the comments and questions they ask are so mundane, useless even!

People like to feel special, so I work on weeding them out, poking and prodding their egos until I find something they are excited about and ONLY comment on that and pose simple questions(nobody likes an interrogator)

I can edit the post, you want me to add that you should be ...never mind, I'll just add it.

Thanks.

Edit: Look for it on the last point, Finding a Click.

i like this tip, its all very basic, but I have failed so many times, getting to the "soooo anyway" line.

Just keep the convo rolling by asking questions, and pretending that you care about her answers. When you actually find yourself actually listening to her, and caring about what she says, thats a keeper.

What does EC mean?

Eye-Contact.

Not a Stare.
Not a Glance.
It is to look at them like you want to talk to them.

nice this will help me out alot man thanks bro!

Great advice, but guys don't forget that's all it is. Use this as your starting-point; it's a guideline; with this develop your own methods and techniques that work best for YOU.

You will learn through trial and error without evening knowing it.

P.S. Doc, I was not trying to belittle your work. It is a job well done. But, you must agree, that one cannot have a narrow-minded mentality that there is only one clean-cut method.

P.S. Doc, I was not trying to belittle your work. It is a job well done. But, you must agree, that one cannot have a narrow-minded mentality that there is only one clean-cut method.

Never said you were belittling it
Agreed, one-track mindset leads to cornering to a one-opinion decision.

Dont bite.

~ Random article series re-bump.
~ Rate/Comment if you wish.

*this needs a bump, people are starting to ask how to talk to a girl again, or need to read this anyways.*

ops wrong thread.. anyway realy helpfull ;=

look directly at her boobies



jk, good post

nice points