Post the link to your online dating profile here and have it critiqued.

Francisco d'Anconia · May 3, 2005

Recently I've gotten a few individual requests to review on-line dating profiles. I've found that I'm giving the same advice to mostly everyone, so why not centralize the information in one thread so everyone can benefit?

Post a direct link to your ad instead of cutting and pasting because different sites allow for additional information to be included in areas other than the main profile. Also, if there are profiles of potential prospects you'd like to get some insight on, post those links too.

Anyone can give constructive criticism (I'll be d@mned if I'm going to go over every one myself). No need to warn everyone that if anyone chooses to be a hater and tries to cause trouble, the mods WILL justifiably close the thread.

Oh, and don't ask to have anyone write your profile for you. It's not going to help you one bit in the long run.

So lets have a good time with this and hopefully we'll all learn something...

al77 · May 3, 2005

Please review my profile and pics at:

http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?ortp=1&TP=U&uid=zCvuCLoXJ7mQsQiBJt1u1w==&lid=21

I suspect the link might not work, if it is the case review just this text:

"My Bits and Pieces"
I'll give you not very positive bits first, if you get through them you'll remember the good bits! I can "sing" in a bathroom (no, I don't do karaoke while taking a shower) I am not a good cook especially without a book, I am not a big fan of tv+sports+beer combination. That's as much as I'm giving away right now. The good bits: well I am honest, I could be witty, I think differently. I've got hazel green eyes and an inquisitive mind. I love art, I can draw anything but you would be laughing too hard at it. I have tried mountain climbing and I love the feeling of touching the earth. I grew up in Europe and have an accent, but I do not sound like James Bond or Terminator. I like dogs more than cats, cats more than mice. I favor wine over beer and dislike pop. I love thinking and having a good conversation. I have a psychology related hobby: figuring out what makes people tick, how about you?

al77 · May 3, 2005

Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ

What do ya guys think?

Pic: very good facial expression! But there was not enough light of course.. you may get +10 points immediately if you take same picture with enough light and colors.

Profile: consider some more unique name.. for exmple somethign like "James Bond II and a half"....work more on the name.
Do not mention "Get a membership so we can talk!" She is not going to get it just because you said it. If she likes you she'll figure out what to do. Ideally you may want to add some other info besides your location and age: probably some hobbies.

penkitten · May 3, 2005

al - add a different picture
you have two of your face
none of them look like you are having fun

go thru your pics and find at least one of you having fun with someone in it , a buddy , anyone

everything else was great

penkitten · May 3, 2005

super i think you can make a better title , james bond is a little played out

Francisco d'Anconia · May 3, 2005

al77

Change your headline to something that makes a person want to read your profile. Something that compels them to...
Add some action photos of you participating in what you enjoy. One "James Bond" pose is enough.
Would you be impressed by someone's list of things that aren't very positive? Why include such things in your profile?
Beef up your humor a bit. If you must post things that aren't the best of your nature, present it like a TV sitcom to make it more palatable.
Don't supplicate, it's not becoming in a man, nor a woman for that matter.
Use more imagery in your description of yourself. Be creative when describing yourself, what can you add to "hazel green?"
In describing what you enjoy, paint a vivid picture, give examples.
Be careful with overly emoting your enjoyment of the psychological studies, it's intimidating to most people. They will tend to wonder if you are analyzing them when you are trying to learn more about them.
[/list=1]

Francisco d'Anconia · May 3, 2005

Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ
My HotorNot hehe

What do ya guys think?

For some strange reason "Ferris Beuler" comes to mind....

al77 · May 3, 2005

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
al77
[*]Would you be impressed by someone's list of things that aren't very positive? Why include such things in your profile?
[*]Don't supplicate, it's not becoming in a man, nor a woman for that matter.

Thanks for the review!

By saying semi-neagitve stuff I wanted to convey two things:
a) I am sincere: I can talk about some mildy negative things b) my profile is different from others since I took time to talk about not only positive but almost neagtive thing. By the way, they are not really neagive things in my opinion.

Do you mind pointing out those "supplicative parts" in my profile?

Luveno · May 3, 2005

The rules of ADVERTISING are basically the same as the rules of ONLINE PROFILES!

NEVER mention your negative traits. Likely you see them worse than anyone else. Don't emphasize your misgivings.

Do you ever see Nike saying anything bad about their shoes? Do you ever see Microsoft mention the blue screen of death?

Think about it.

Francisco d'Anconia · May 3, 2005

Originally posted by al77
Thanks for the review!

By saying semi-neagitve stuff I wanted to convey two things:
a) I am sincere: I can talk about some mildy negative things b) my profile is different from others since I took time to talk about not only positive but almost neagtive thing. By the way, they are not really neagive things in my opinion.

Do you mind pointing out those "supplicative parts" in my profile?

You're trying to make your profile do too much for you. Conveying sincerity is a good thing, but it is more meaningful when you show it to a specific person directly. There's also ways to do it without being self deprecating.

Also, have you looked at your competition on-line? Your profile really isn't any different than theirs. In a nutshell they just say PLEASE LIKE ME, I'M A REALLY NICE GUY! Blah, blah, fvcking blah...:yawn:

Plus, your profile has more meaning to it that your personal opinion. Why did you write it anyway? You wrote it for someone else's benefit and it's their perception that matters. It reads of a supplicating 'nice guy.' The type of guy that makes up about 95% of the guys on-line (just a guess).

al77 · May 3, 2005

Originally posted by Luveno
The rules of ADVERTISING are basically the same as the rules of ONLINE PROFILES!
NEVER mention your negative traits

Rules of nline profile are much different from ADVERTISING ones.
In advertising you want, can and will state directly benefits of your product. Moreover you can comapre it with other products and conclude your product is the best.
In a profile you can state features... but you cannot emphasize them, you don't want to draw too much attention: example: "I am very kind." Hmmm..it is just a statement and you have to back it up which is always not easy. Or I earn $xxxx... if you focus on this one, many women will take it as a turn off although it is a huge turn on by itself.

Anyway, please read my profile: where did you spot anything negative??!

al77 · May 3, 2005

It reads of a supplicating 'nice guy.' The type of guy that makes up about 95% of the guys on-line (just a guess). [/B]

It could be. Do you mind pointing out more specifically where you read that supplicating "nice guy"?
In order to improve the profile I have to know what parts do not look good.

Comments about supplicating nice guy, anyone?

AdrenalynJunkee · May 3, 2005

My Buddypic

It's a pretty extensive profile. I'm thinking about cutting it down some.

al77 · May 3, 2005

Originally posted by AdrenalynJunkee
I'm thinking about cutting it down some.

You are on the right track! Show only 2-3 pics, not 7
Shrink the profile by cutting info that is not related to you: from "Wow, that lasted a little ..." to Likes. and shrink whatever you think can be shrunk: the profile is too long. Come beakc with a shorter one.

Francisco d'Anconia · May 3, 2005

Originally posted by al77
It could be. Do you mind pointing out more specifically where you read that supplicating "nice guy"?
In order to improve the profile I have to know what parts do not look good.

Comments about supplicating nice guy, anyone?

I reread it and the part that doesn't sit well with me may not be true supplication but it just doesn't feel very "manly." Not that it was frilly but just could be rephrased in a more masculine way.

I am not a good cook especially without a book, I am not a big fan of tv+sports+beer combination.

You may not be into those things but it kinda feels as if you are saying it to offset the common theme of guys enjoying plopping down in front of the tube and watch sports the entire weekend. Why not talk about what you do enjoy, didn't it say somewhere that you enjoyed playing tennis?

As for the cooking thing, it's well known that many guys can't cook (however they should learn). So when you say that you can't, it kinda reads like "I'm just another guy that can't do the things that other guys can't do so you can't hold that against me!"

Yeah, it sounds extreme but profiles are read in the extreme. They are either extremely engaging or extremely boring.

AdrenalynJunkee · May 4, 2005

Profile updated. I'll put together a better picture some other time.

al77 · May 4, 2005

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I reread it and the part that doesn't sit well with me may not be true supplication but it just doesn't feel very "manly....

Thanks, it was very perceptive! Agree on "being a cook"...sounds like a trite (interesting that before I could not think about it, that it is a trite thing to say..but not it is clear).

I purposefully wanted to distance from that image
"tv+sports+beer", since it is very common and could be quite negative for women. Is it good to distance from a negative image? I think it is. By itself its components are not negative at all... this distancing does serve a purpose: if I sound only positive everywhere, would not it remind you a commerical "Call xxxx He is Good!"? To me such commercials just send a message they are fake, since they even didn't bother to come up with reasons why "he is good". Anyone who can think, will realize that super positive image is more fake than not so positive. Is it good to be more sincere? I guess it is. I do not advocate talking about negative images, though.

Moreover I am really not a fan of that combination at all.
If a woman wants an average Joe, and she thinks to be manly her Joe should watch sports and drink beer at the same time, well, then I am successfuly filtering these types of women out.
So it serves a filtering purpose too.

al77 · May 4, 2005

Originally posted by AdrenalynJunkee
Profile updated. I'll put together a better picture some other time.

Well..didn't see a new pic yet, but the profile now is short, ok, though it has too many negative things:
"Not my kid" If I were you I would not bother showing her and then explaing that she is not yours.
"but not for school."
"Not giving out my.."
"No Subject" gets.."
"and HATE taking risks"
"..you wont fit"
"so uptight they can't "
" wont shut up"

Thats too much of negative stuff. Try to minimize those "No" or convert it into positive or try to talk about something that you may like...Plus cut it on dislikes.. maybe 1-3 items is ok, not 8 with so graphic negative description. Revamp, come back...

Francisco d'Anconia · May 4, 2005

Consider this, the mind is a positive mechanism in that you can not tell it not to do something.

EXAMPLE: Try not to think of a miniature pink elephant dancing on top of your monitor.

What did you see on top of your monitor?

Given that, subconsciously the mind gravitates to positive (forward moving) type concepts. (This shouldn't be mistaken with positive/negative or good/bad type things).

Consider stating what you do when other guys are watching television and drinking a beer. I'm just like you in that I'm not a 'sit around' type of guy. I let it be known that I'm big into cycling and would rather spend three hours peddling down a road than spending it watching a game on television. I just say that I'm active, I enjoy being fit and I enjoy being able to go anywhere there is a road by using only my own power. Notice that I don't mention what I don't do, I only mention what I do.

Think about the profiles you have read by women that list a myriad of things that they don't want, don't like or don't do. How many of them have inspired you to contact them?

Just something to consider.

Francisco d'Anconia · May 4, 2005

Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ
OK.... EDITED...

HotorNot Profile

Tell me what you guys think.

Still boring. Why should a woman contact you? You should give her a reason why, give her something to ask you questions about.

Post the link to your online dating profile here and have it critiqued.

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan