She No Longer Wants To Be Friends...Now What?

This Girl at work just does my damn head in, I ignore her (and have done for a while) but I still see her walking past my desk and looking at me (often at the same time of day when I am chatting with other Female co-workers) but here is where I just don't know how to act around her anymore, a few weeks ago I sent her a work related email and we ended up discussing some movies.

She was replying to these emails but come the next week and I am called into a meeting with my Boss, who said I know you were just being Friendly with the emails but he told me that she doesn't want to be Friends with me anymore and that she didn't know how to tell me, he asked me to stop emailing her and I have, he also said that she would be civil and cordial but if dirty looks and hanging around where I am is being civil and cordial then I am really confused.

I told my Boss that it didn't need to get this far (but she might have been exacting revenge as I spoke to my supervisor about the uncomfortable looks she had been giving me) and I asked her months ago to meet me for a coffee so we could settle our differences but she just ignored my message.

I am not leaving my job, I am good at my job and well liked and respected by many but this Girl seems hellbent on punishing me, paying me back and making it known she is pissed off about God knows what and she has cut off all communication so how the hell do I move forward here?

She has also got a few of her Friends offside with me, but I don't care as if they are weak enough to believe her bull**** then they weren't Friends of mine in the first place, she is really irritating and has got under my skin but I just don't want to pay her any mind anymore.

Why does she waste so much energy on me?, I just can't understand her or the situation and isn't this really unprofessional behavior on her part?
I'm pretty sure that management can see how petty this all is and it could have been resolved a lot earlier.

Also my lovely Wife and I are expecting and she was the only one on my team to not congratulate me.

Has this ever happened you?, what is your advice please?

I just want all of this BS drama out of my life, I have a child to think about now :rock:

It's best to NEVER be real friends with co-workers. Be NICE to them, let them THINK you are friends, but remember they are all involved in office politics and can mess up your life.

Since THAT ship has sailed.... who KNOWS what she has in mind.... maybe she's upset you DIDN'T bang her..... seen it before. NEVER get close enough to a woman where SHE thinks it's an idea.... Just going to have to ride it out. MAYBE figure out a way to PROVE that she's the instigator of the whole problem NOW

sodbuster said:

It's best to NEVER be real friends with co-workers. Be NICE to them, let them THINK you are friends, but remember they are all involved in office politics and can mess up your life.

Since THAT ship has sailed.... who KNOWS what she has in mind.... maybe she's upset you DIDN'T bang her..... seen it before. NEVER get close enough to a woman where SHE thinks it's an idea.... Just going to have to ride it out. MAYBE figure out a way to PROVE that she's the instigator of the whole problem NOW

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Thanks man, well for someone that told her a long time ago that I was married and I had never come onto her, I think that would prove that she has instigated the problem?

She might have power over you thru this and that's what the time wasteage is. Power in that she can be wasting your time and making you walk a little more on eggshells than you where before.

DaddyLongShanks said:

She might have power over you thru this and that's what the time wasteage is. Power in that she can be wasting your time and making you walk a little more on eggshells than you where before.

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I would say that you are right, I said good morning to her and got coldy ignored lol, then I saw her look 4-5 times in the corner of my eye and I have noticed a pattern with her, if I talk to another Female coworker, she starts this annoying whistling thing, at first I thought that it was just her listening to her music, but she does it with no headphones on and it is pretty much a daily occurrence.

She cut off all communication so if she wants to sort this, it's on her if not well then **** will remain awkward and tension filled because this immature ***** chose this, not me.

She wants the D. She's just upset that you won't give her any despite the fact you're married. Women take rejection far worse that men.

goodganji44 said:

She wants the D. She's just upset that you won't give her any despite the fact you're married. Women take rejection far worse that men.

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That might be the case, I don't really know, I'm not cheating on my Wife, I just want this ***** to quit all of this drama and to be civil with me at my workplace.

There's not really anything you can do to control her behavior. The only thing you can do at this point is remain as professional as possible. I've been in that situation before. The best thing to do is completely ignore her unless you have a business need to speak with her. Follow up with documented emails and leave a paper trail if needed.

At some point she'll probably be extra flirty with you again once she realizes you're not about that bullsht.

goodganji44 said:

There's not really anything you can do to control her behavior. The only thing you can do at this point is remain as professional as possible. I've been in that situation before. The best thing to do is completely ignore her unless you have a business need to speak with her. Follow up with documented emails and leave a paper trail if needed.

At some point she'll probably be extra flirty with you again once she realizes you're not about that bullsht.

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Cheers man, so what is with all of the cutting off communication bull****?, what does she gain by that?, did she want to back me into a corner and hold that power over me?, I have seen her walk my past desk with her head down now, I still have no idea why she went to the Boss about me, that was uncalled for.

I think she is trying to make it look like that I am into her but her behavior clearly shows it is her, why doesn't she talk to me about ****? what is she so afraid of?
We actually used to be really cool and hang out a lot.

your first problem, youare giving her too much atencion, if what she does is that annoying file a complain against her, you sure can't ignore the b!tch, so or you do everything in your power to make her lose her job, with if you are smart is not hard, possible she is just wasting space there anyway, or you stop caring what she does, get used to the fact there are people out there who will not like you and there is nothing you can do to change that

btw its your 2nd post about this chick? i'm pretty sure I read a post like this before, same history shick don't like guy because he don't want anything with her and the girl get annoying and guy can't let go, need to please everyone

Just a quick update, I completely ignore her, like I say nothing to her and avoid eye contact but the amount of things she does to get my attention is just beyond pathetic, she now starts coming through a different door (which is behind my desk), she has started getting Friendly with a girl that sits 2 desks down from me and I see her look at me a lot and the other day she almost knocked me out with the amount of perfume she was wearing as she walked out for the day.

Not sure what the **** she wants when she cut off all communication from me lol I actually laugh about this a lot, I wish she would just leave, she is a pain in the ass and I'm pretty sure she isn't get any lately.

Count yourself lucky, I had a girl who works for my clients message me with devotion for 3 months and then rejected me harshly, showed the emails to many of my colleagues, to mock me and looks/talks to me like **** whenever I visit her business.

It screwed my head up for years, still don't understand why somebody would do that. Deliberately humiliate someone, putting in HOURS of effort over many months, just to humiliate someone.

I could have killed myself when I found out it was sent to my colleagues. Absolutely no reason. Plus, she works for a big client so I can't tell her to f off, my earnings depend on keeping her and the firm on good terms. Guess she knows that too.

I did tell her once recently to stop messaging me (she still does occasionally) and told her that she made me look a fool, hence don't want to talk. She responded with pure joy and delight. Totally different to the person she portrayed initially.
Must be some sort of personality disorder. I've had girls play games but this was another level entirely.

Count yourself lucky dude.

Fruitbat said:

Count yourself lucky, I had a girl who works for my clients message me with devotion for 3 months and then rejected me harshly, showed the emails to many of my colleagues, to mock me and looks/talks to me like **** whenever I visit her business.

It screwed my head up for years, still don't understand why somebody would do that. Deliberately humiliate someone, putting in HOURS of effort over many months, just to humiliate someone.

I could have killed myself when I found out it was sent to my colleagues. Absolutely no reason. Plus, she works for a big client so I can't tell her to f off, my earnings depend on keeping her and the firm on good terms. Guess she knows that too.

I did tell her once recently to stop messaging me (she still does occasionally) and told her that she made me look a fool, hence don't want to talk. She responded with pure joy and delight. Totally different to the person she portrayed initially.
Must be some sort of personality disorder. I've had girls play games but this was another level entirely.

Count yourself lucky dude.

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I've been there too. It's pathetic that we live in that type of world. Looking back, wish I had just left that workplace and town years ago and start over somewhere else. Maybe guys here can learn from this...when women get in groups, they covet power, and you're going down if they decide so.

yannick43 said:

Move on this is why you should never focus on one women.

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I have yannick43, I ignore her but I am polite and civil when I have to be, only interact with her about business things but she still seems hellbent on letting it known that she is pissed/annoyed/angry at me.

I see pouting, I see a lot of looks and I get coldness and moodiness and she has been making sure that I am excluded from social outings with other coworkers and lately she has been hanging around a Guy I know quite well but she hasn't spoken to in months and she once called him a sleazy creep and asked me what to do when he was constantly asking her out a few years ago and whenever she interacts with him, I see her looking at me...so go figure.

This Guy has started to act weird towards me lately and I just want all of this bull**** drama to end, I put my head down, my headphones on and do my job well but I shouldn't have to put up with this bull**** on a daily basis.

Hopefully this is the end of the saga, I asked to switch teams and it was granted, I feel so much happier and around better people and the work I am doing now is more challenging, I was getting stale and sick to death of this childish little girl's games.

She didn't look happy when it was announced that I was moving to another team and since I have, I keep bumping into her and she just gives me a pissy look, I just laugh to myself and go about my day.