Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Don't let your girlfriend DISRESPECT you or you will LOSE your girlfriend

ELMER_GANTRY

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
194
Reaction score
154
Location
West of the Mississippi
I've read and responded to a couple of threads on here, where guys were talking about how they lost their girlfriends, due to lack of interest and affection. So, I thought I would write a thread about not letting your girlfriend disrespect you, or it will ruin your relationship, and you will eventually lose her. I think a lot of guys will benefit from this and hopefully they will realize what not to let your girlfriend do to you., which is disrespect you.

In both cases, the relationship was going along pretty well, and then the chick started to lose interest in the guy, the guy took notice of her lack of attention and affection, let it go for a while, then either questioned her about why she was acting that way, or tried to gain her affection back by being way too nice, needy, wimpy, and trying to prove himself and his love to her. He didn't address the critical issue at hand, the chick lost more interest in him, basically taking control of the entire relationship, she tells him she doesn't want to be with him anymore, he begs and pleads for another chance, that completly turns her off, and then the relationship goes up in flames never to be salvaged again. Does this sound familiar? The guy is confused, hurt, depressed, and wondering what the hell happened. But if he took in account of what was really going on, what he might of did wrong, and what event triggered the problem, it could of been fixed and possibly even be repaired.

It all boils down to respect. When your girlfriend respects you, she is in to you, she loves you, she thinks the world of you, will want to do anything and everything with you, nothing can change her mind about you. When she loses respect for you, what does she do? She distances herself from you, loses the affection, the love isn't there anymore, YOU become a problem, her problem. She finds you as more of an annoyance, she doesn't talk to you as much, text you as much, you are the one always calling her, she ignores you more and more, there are no "I Love You's", she picks fights with you, blames you for everything, all the things that you used to do that made her happy, don't make her happy anymore. In fact, she now finds them irritating, and doesn't want you to do them anymore. She will find other guys more interesting than you. That is all because she lost respect for you. Most guys go about it the wrong way, instead of fixing the problem at hand, they let her control the relationship, they turn over the reigns, let her lead, and let the wheels fall off the wagon. They think if they show her more love and affection, that she will suddenly start returning the love again, which she never does because that turns her off even more. They will also make the critical mistake of asking her what is wrong, when you should figure out what the problem is and fix it yourself.

The problem is that you let her take over and control the relationship. She is leading and you are following, which is always a recipe for disaster. She lost your respect and you are struggling to get it back, in which most of the time you never do.

How do you lose respect you might say? Well... it is very easy. Somewhere along the way there was an event that triggered the whole snowball effect of her disrespecting you that lead to your downfall. Now think back...there was something that she did to you that caused disrespect. What did you do that was so bad?

YOU LET HER GET AWAY WITH DISRESPECTING YOU.

Yes, that was it!! She disrespected you, and you said nothing about it to her. She got away with it. You let her get away with it, and you let her disrespect you. You were afraid to step up to the plate and be a man, and tell her that her disrespectful behavior wasn't right, and that you won't accept it. That is where you went wrong, and made your most critical mistake in your relationship. You wimped out, were afraid to be a controlling boyfriend, swept it under the rug, and she got away with disrespcting you. It might be even a minor thing, but as you should know, it's the minor things that turn into major things that always ruin a relationship. And as the old saying goes...If you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

So, the girlfriend disrespects you, which you let her do, and she looks at it from her point of view and says to herself...

"Wow... he let me treat him this way, he let me do this to him. He is afraid to be man, if he lets me do this thing to him, what else will he let me do? Will he protect me when I need him? Maybe not, if he is afraid to put me in my place. How can he protect me from another man when I need him? He is not the secure guy I thought. He looks weak to me. I can manipulate him now to do what I want him to do. I can get away with anything now. I can do what I want. I'm in control of things now. He is not. He will jump through my hoops. I can tell him what to do. How can I take him seriously anymore when he won't stand up to me? He is not a challenge, maybe I need to look for another guy. His insecure behavior really disgusts me. He is not a man that I need. I have to let him go. I need another guy. He is gone, we are over."

All of that is going through her head because you let her disrespect you. So don't ever let her do that to you. Ever!! When you let her do that, the relationship changes, and she becomes in control, and then you have to fight to get the control back which you never do. She does what she wants, she doesn't listen to you anymore. Then you wonder why she doesn't. She sees you as a weak and irrelevant man. You wimp out, then you want to talk it over with her, which never works because you can't reason with her. Her emotions are in control and her mind is made up, and the downward spiral continues. If you weren't afraid to put her in her place the first time, and show her that you are the man, and that she should never do that to you, then you wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place. So don't let her disrespect you, because you will lose control, her respect for you, and you will lose your girlfriend very soon.

Here is a example from a poster on here and what lead to his downfall in his relationship.

He knew his girfriend was playing a drinking game, he didn't like it, he was afraid to be a controlling boyfriend, so he let it go, and let her get away with it. She saw he didn't step up to the plate and be a man, she disrespected him. He let her do that to him. She lost respect for him. Then next time she played he got mad and they argued and fought about it. Instead of putting it into acton. If he would of put her in her place from the start, this would of never occured. She lost respect for him, told him that she would do what she wanted, and she will play the game, if he likes it or not, she didnt care what he said, his words were no good. She wouldnt listen to him. She lost respect for him, and he let her get away with it again for another time. She became in control of the relationship. See how quickly the tide can turn when she loses respect? She quickly became distant and the love wasn't there, the things he did that made her happy, didn't anymore. Those things he did now made her mad, she fought with him and accused him. He tried to talk and wimped out more with her. Trying to prove his love to her, and trying to gain back her affection when he didn't solve the problem at hand. Things got worse and she felt suffocated by his extra effort to show his love. She was still leading and he was following. She then told him they shouldn't see each other anymore, it wasn't working, he wasn't a challenge, and he tried to reason with her. It didn't work as you could imagine. She became more distant, he kept chasing her, calling her, texting her, when she never did. He was her problem, and with like most problems, you get rid of them, and that is what she did to him. She told him it was over, and he still begged and pleaded for her to come back, until he drove her away for good, and pushed the relationship into extinction.

This was all due to the fact that she disrespected him, he was afraid to step up and be a man, and put her in her place. She lost respect, took control of the relationship, he was following, while she was leading, lost her interest in him, became disgusted with him, and then he lost his girlfriend.

Don't let this happen to you, don't ever be afraid to be a man and control the relationship. Don't ever let your girlfriend disrespect you, or you will lose her respect, her love, and you will lose her. Then you will be wondering why she lost her love for you and where it all went wrong.
 

Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
4,202
Reaction score
79
Location
T-Dot
I'm curious. What kind of a girlfriend even thinks about disrespecting her man? How much of a b*tch do you have to be for a girl to even attempt such a thing???

Maybe the girl is at fault too. In which case, don't get yourself a crappy girlfriend.
 

Ace_Magnamus

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2011
Messages
146
Reaction score
67
guys take too much shyt then they are screwed. my friend let his girl go to a party he did not want her to. what you said happend to him to. anyway good stuff here.
 

RSanders219

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
Messages
197
Reaction score
4
Alle_Gory said:
I'm curious. What kind of a girlfriend even thinks about disrespecting her man? How much of a b*tch do you have to be for a girl to even attempt such a thing???

Maybe the girl is at fault too. In which case, don't get yourself a crappy girlfriend.
Exactly. A lot of my friends' steady girlfriends never ever ever disrespect their man whatsoever. A lot of these friends of mine are even kind of wimpy too. Just goes to show you DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME ON B1TCHES AND H0ES. At least if you want someone exclusively and/or a lasting relationship.
 

Ace_Magnamus

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2011
Messages
146
Reaction score
67
Alle_Gory said:
I'm curious. What kind of a girlfriend even thinks about disrespecting her man? How much of a b*tch do you have to be for a girl to even attempt such a thing???

Maybe the girl is at fault too. In which case, don't get yourself a crappy girlfriend.
looks like you dont know too much about women lol
 
Last edited:

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,398
Reaction score
2,699
Location
Texas
Great post Elmer, however the big question is, as Alle Gore noted: why did she disrespect you to begin with? BPD? Low IL? My last gf would keep testing me, and I always put her in her place. I left town once, made her sleep on the couch once, called her an A-hole once, told her to fvck off once, and granted - it always won me points and she would start behaving better. However, ultimately she kept disrespecting me anyway and I had to end it.
 

pipe007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
638
Reaction score
52
a girl does not need to be a Wh0re or slvt for her to disrespect you, as long as she is a woman, she will always test you.

women ALWAYS test their men, because they need to be reassured over and over again, that they have a real man next to them. they feel more attracted by sensing your power, when you pass their tests. if you can pass them effectively, you keep the attraction, and she is satisfied.

if you do not pass the tests, then the tests will increase in intensity and she starts losing respect for you, soon enough the attraction will be gone.

women test you because they have to. they need a way to find out you are not slacking, and that you are still the rock in her life.

so get used to it, if you want a woman, be ready to be tested for as long as you are with her. the question is, what are you gonna do when it happens?

david deangelo says " act like you are the owner of your reality, and she is a guest on it." always have a take it or leave it attitude, and dont be afraid to lose a women just because you expect her to treat you like a king in her universe.
 

ELMER_GANTRY

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
194
Reaction score
154
Location
West of the Mississippi
bigneil said:
Great post Elmer, however the big question is,: why did she disrespect you to begin with? BPD? Low IL?

Good advice pipe, see his post. I was just about to post about that, but you beat me to it. Some women will throw tests at you no matter what, to see what they can get away with, and what kind of guy you really are. Like I said, if you give them an inch, they will take a mile. Those determine in her mind what type of guy you are and if you are still in control. It's all about the game, the game between men and women and you have to win and keep control. Some women, especially 9's and 10's (if you had one as a girlfriend) think their s*** don't stink, and they can do what ever they please. You need to keep them in line, because of their big ego and bloated attitude of themselves. If you don't, you will quickly have the tables turned and you will be out the door.

The nice guys are in danger of this, and should read this thread, because those are the guys who always are trying to please their chick, and are afraid of saying anything because they think they will hurt their feelings. So they let it go, and in the end, they are the ones with the hurt feelings, because their girlfriend dumps them.

Not BPD, because those chicks are nuts, they will disrespect you anyway, and not low IL, because the IL is already there.





RSanders219 said:
Exactly. A lot of my friends' steady girlfriends never ever ever disrespect their man whatsoever. A lot of these friends of mine are even kind of wimpy too. Just goes to show you DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME ON B1TCHES AND H0ES. At least if you want someone exclusively and/or a lasting relationship.
I agree with you Sanders, that you shouldn't let a girl disrespect you, but I remember that you wrote a thread not too long ago, where you let a chick with "daddy issues" disrespect you, and cause drama with you, just because you wanted to keep her around to get a little poosey.
 

Scrat

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 20, 2011
Messages
23
Reaction score
2
Location
Brisbane
well I'm glad i read this, really hit home. I had questions in my mind like why she did it and what did I do wrong?
well this Thread nailed it, thanks.
But kinda unsure on what step to take next. Except for just not letting it happen again.
 

mahoney

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
342
Reaction score
19
i think girls mostly only disrespect dudes who don't respect themselves in the first place
 

ELMER_GANTRY

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
194
Reaction score
154
Location
West of the Mississippi
mahoney said:
i think girls mostly only disrespect dudes who don't respect themselves in the first place
That is true to a point, but you are wrong, when you say "only the dudes who disrespect themselves" and the other two guys that say "only wh*res and B**ches" disrespect their men. You and the first two posters are missing the whole point here, of why guys are disrespected by their girlfriends. Guys that understand women, the guys that know how realtionships work, the guys that have their girlfriends respecting them, don't let the girl get away with doing things they don't like, and they put them in their place when they do. Because they know if they don't, this will happen.

It's the guys who don't know much about women, relationships, the weak guys, the nice guys, the guys who don't want to hurt the girls feelings, the guys who dont understand this thread, those are the guys who fail to step up to the plate, and put them in their place, and they wind up being disrespected and losng their girlfriend. It has nothing to do with with bi*ches or guys who don't respect themselves.

In any relationship, no matter who it is, at some point, their girlfriends will behave, and do somethng that guy doesn't like, or do something that the guy doesn't want them to do. If you fail as a boyfriend, as a man, as the controller of the relationship, the guy who is respected by his girlfriend, to call her out on her s*** and put her in her place for doing something wrong, she will look at you with negative eyes and will start to lose respect for you. She will then realize that she can get away with anything and will think less of you, then she will disrespect you, lose interest in you, and the relationship will start to crumble, and then end. It has happened for thousands of years and in many threads on here too.

This is the reason why lots of relationships fail, there was no problems until the guy wimped out and wasn't a real man, she respected him before. He let the chick put one over on him and get away with it. Buy doing that she sees him as a weaker man, she begins to act out more because she knows she can get away with it, then she starts to disrespect him, and will eventually leave him in most cases.
 

Alex DeLarge

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 26, 2011
Messages
845
Reaction score
25
What would you say about this situation Elmer.. (Recently happened to me, and I dumped the girl about a week later).

The girl I was talking to would often talk to a friend of mine on skype and Facebook. This friend of mine hooked up with her in the past, but has a steady girlfriend now and still does this behind her back. I went over her house and saw her talking to this friend of mine online sending him a message "Love you". But I just pretended I did not see anything because I did not really view him as a serious threat to our relationship. (Then again, I did not take this girl so seriously..)

Should I have called her out on this? Should I have told her to not talk to him even though we weren't exclusive?
 

pipe007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
638
Reaction score
52
Disrespect is out of the question, if my girl flat out DISRESPECTS ME, she is out of my life for a while, and if she doesn't apologize and comes around, then she is gone!!
TESTS are healthy and subtle, she never lets you knwo when you are about to be tested, but you must understand what a test is. yes EVERY woman tests you to see if you are the real deal, how else could she know?

dynamics go on a continuum, on the healthy side is respect and admiration for her man, in the middle ground would be healthy tests or SH1T TESTS, that she unconsciously uses to determine your manly strength and power in the relationship. in the end of the continuum is flat out disrespect for you, at this point, she is already thinking less of you as a man, and she is just disrespecting you because she can!.

so if you know how to pass a woman's test, or even provide tests of your own where you always put your standards and expectations upfront, then she will admire you more, and the tests will decrease (NOT STOP). she must continue to test you to know that you are not slacking, that you are still the man in her life, no matter how long has passed.

every woman tests, hell, even mother teresa would test the hell out of any man in her way. My dad always says that, and he is married to one of nicest woman I know. not saying that just couse she is my mom. and she ALWAYS TEST HIM. he knows and he expects it, oh when it happens, he puts her on her place inmediately!!!, even though she makes more money than him. my dad always tells me " never let a woman get the upper hand, never lose control."

my gf is one of the nicest there is, and she has tested me recently. we were laying in the sofa, and she was there and her feet were touching my legs, and I was ok with it. so i was comfortable and I did the same, I kinda used my feet to stroke her legs. as soon as I did that, she pushed my foot away and looked at me like " dont do that", so I immediately, took her feet away from my leg and looking at her in the eye said. "then you shouldnt do that either." and pushed her leg off, and I ignored her.

she got the message, and immediately changed her behavior, and started being more flirty and huggy, and initiated conversation, she felt the power of my indiference and action. she UNCONSCIOUSLY liked it, and her feminine side kicked in.

two months ago we were making out here and there, and at what time she "playfully" pulled away and said "now you gonna have to work for it if you want another kiss!!... I felt it was a test (cuz you get the gut feeling) so I laid back and told her "then you are not getting any kiss for a whole week, because I dont work untill next saturday." which was true.

and she again smiled and hugged me. ( do you see whats going on???)

i never supplicate, I never ask why? why dont u want another kiss? why are u pushing my foot away? dont you like me anymore? pffffttt, I react by giving her twice the amount of indifirence she is giving me.

sometimes you have to be flexible and let the woman have her opinion and her way in a healthy manner and if she is respectful, but learn to differentiate a test.

tests are usually power manneuvers she brings in order to TRY OR ATTEMPT to put you as the low status person in the relationship, and establishh her as the LEADER, or the prize in the relationship. (unconsciously) she doesnt know she is doing it.

if you are the KING in HER universe and your universe, and you know how to maintain the frame, then you wont let her be the king, there cannot be two kings, if you give her that, she will lose respect. worse case scenario, she must learn to negotiate with you and compromise and communicate, that is good. not nag and demand, never reward those behaviors.

rule number 1 of this forum: be the prize (the king) and learn attraction, which means knowing how to give her the feelings where she always wants more of you (chases you). A woman will never attempt to chase you, admire you, respect you, if she doesnt see you as the king in their reality. she can be the queen, or whatever she wants. its ok, she can have power in the relationship as well, but she must NEVER try to take away the power from you, its not natural for a woman to take position as a king in a relationship, if she establishes herself as the PRIZE, and perceives you as beneath her in hierarchy or whatever, socially, emotionally, whatever, if she sees you that you are below her, and she becomes the prize in the relatinoship, then she will feel entitled to demand, to boss you around, to become the leader (because she now is the king, you let her!!, your fault!!) and she will feel entitled to DISRESPECT YOU. because you are beneath!!!!.

of course having her as the prize, and you the lucky guy does not create attraction in her, sexually, she will feel more and more disgusted at you, eventually, she will lose all respect, and she will start longing for a REAL MAN, who can give her pleasure ( a man who is a king, who dominates). and she will cheat and lie. sad!

BE THE KING!, always have control of your territory. (YOURSELF)

I think, if people get anything else from this site, should be this idea, this is a VERY important topic and thread!!! more important than any pick up line, or technique to get a date or number. THIS IS THE CORE OF MALE/FEMALE INTERACTIONS!!

if you guys don't take the time to internalize and practice on this, then your future relationships are destined to fail, guys go into different relationships over and over making mistakes, until one day they decide that next time they won't put up with certain "behaviors" from women, and they wont waste their time anymore with low quality girls, that's when the boy starts dying, and the REAL MAN, begins to emmerge. what a woman really wants!
 

sinnerman

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Messages
150
Reaction score
4
great post pipe007
someone mentioned ''you need to put them in their place'' How do you exactly do that. Just cut off contact, widthraw attention and become passive or call her out and give an ultimatum ?

In my previous relationship I did the extreme of both. I called her out on small things, threatened to breakup because I knew I had the leverage. But eventually she got the upper hand after one fight and I caved in. After that I became the typical nice understanding guy never called her out and all. Eventually it still led to her lose the interest level. So whats the best way to demonstrate higher value without actually fighting about it.
 

pipe007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
638
Reaction score
52
you dont become passive, you dont give ultimatums.

both come from a place of lack of power.
YOU TAKE ACTION

if a girl tests you, you respond in a way that keeps you as the one who is in control and the prize in the interaction.

if you need to give ultimatums, she already crossed the line and its not a test anymore.

like she is already talking to another guy and you dont like it, she goes out and lies, dishonesty, any of that BS. I mean at this point, you already lost your power. so you will use ultimatums, which again, don't work.

if it got to that point, I would have already broken up with a girl who does that, get it? no talk no ultimatums, she must know what respect means, what boundaries are.

you take action, you don't whine like a boy, you move forward like a man.
 

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,398
Reaction score
2,699
Location
Texas
Putting them in their place ultimately means risking losing them. The same way your risking rejection when you ask them out gains respect, your risking losing them at certain points maintains respect. Pretend you have a hotter girl - how would you act then? A woman can not feel passionate about a man unless she feels she can do something to lose him.
 
Last edited:

Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
4,202
Reaction score
79
Location
T-Dot
Social_Leper said:
Every women will test their guy. Every women. And how you respond will dictate the strength of the relationship and the power you have within it.
Tests are cute, it also shows she cares. :)

However blatantly disrespecting your man by doing things like:
- hanging out with your ex and other male "friends" who only want to bang her
- *****ing and whining
- expecting double standards, i can do this but you can't
- taking vacations alone and with "friends" who want to bang her
- going out to the meat market with the girls on singles night
- arguing with her man and being a b*tch in public and in front of his friends and family
- etc.

Blatant disrespect should never, ever be acceptable. And if your relationship ever gets to the point where she has to make those stupid moves, then dump the ho to the curb where she belongs. If you don't, then you become the b*tch in the relationship. You might as well make it official and buy her a strapon to literally fvck you as well.
 

Ace_Magnamus

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2011
Messages
146
Reaction score
67
Alle_Gory said:
Tests are cute, it also shows she cares. :)

However blatantly disrespecting your man by doing things like:
- hanging out with your ex and other male "friends" who only want to bang her
- *****ing and whining
- expecting double standards, i can do this but you can't
- taking vacations alone and with "friends" who want to bang her
- going out to the meat market with the girls on singles night
- arguing with her man and being a b*tch in public and in front of his friends and family
- etc.

Blatant disrespect should never, ever be acceptable. And if your relationship ever gets to the point where she has to make those stupid moves, then dump the ho to the curb where she belongs. If you don't, then you become the b*tch in the relationship. You might as well make it official and buy her a strapon to literally fvck you as well.
Guys that have a handle on their women won't allow them to do that.

Most of what you talked about is when the girl is about to dump the dude.
 

Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
4,202
Reaction score
79
Location
T-Dot
Ace_Magnamus said:
Most of what you talked about is when the girl is about to dump the dude.
Surprisingly no. You assume most guys have a spine. There's a large majority that will continue being the b*tch in the relationship.
 
Top