Be YOURself

Be yourself.

The most common dating advice.

The BEST dating advice.

The most MISunderstood dating advice.

Most people AREN'T themselves. Most people hide away from who they truly are. I know this, because I did this - back before I begun having success with women. Most people try so hard to conform into what is normal, what is expected, what everyone else is doing.

Before I found this community, I craved greater success with women, so I looked at the guys who seemingly had success with women. - make MYSELF like them, and I can be MYnewSELF and get girls by the bucket load.

Buy the same clothes, talk the same way, play the same sports, go to the same parties, hang with the same guys. Nope. Still no girls. Pick out some other guys who were successful with women, copy, and find out it didn't work, rinse and repeat.

I was trying to change myself, everything about myself in an attempt a couple of extra girls. Isn't that lame? GOD! No wonder I'm so happy now.

The more success I've had with women. The more options I have. The more girls which are digging me. The more I've been able to be MYSELF. MYrealSELF.

To be yourself around women, you need to treat them exactly how you would treat your best friend, your sister, your cousins, your friend’s girlfriends. You treat these girls differently because they are off limits. Since they are off limits, you are able to talk to them without thinking "do they like me?" "Will they reject me?" etc.

I try to treat all girls how I treat my best friend. He's the guy who I have the most fun with in a one-on-one situation. If I recreate those feelings and fun with a girl I've just met I'll VERY quickly find out if we're compatible or not. Interestingly, they all are. They all make an effort to fit. The same way your best friend makes an effort to fit.

This will draw your target deeply into your frame, create attraction, create comfort and create rapport. She will fall hard, she will fall fast.

Embrace everything you're interested in which isn't strictly mainstream. 99% of club girls are 100% mainstream and will gravitate towards guys who are slightly different. It doesn't matter what your outside interests are, embrace them, love them, and be passionate about them.

Be YOURself.

It works.

EDIT: More to come.. Stay tuned.

three12.

This is so going to go unnoticed

Good tip, but played out to the max... nobody is really going to look at the YOUR in YOURself, they are only going to read the yourself part.

PS... the only part of this thread that these guys don't see as mainstream AFC type knowledge would be the "treat her like you would anybody else" part... Something which has alos gone overboard...

I can tell ya from my field experience its not AFC advice.

Its inner game.

Its about loving yourself and everything about you. Its really very important.

But thanks for your comments.

three12.

Yeah, it's OLD inner game

I know you could write it more in depth than that, I don't know if you've lurked here very long... but I'm just saying you worded the whole thing wrong.

You tried to say be your best self, which has been said to death on this site.

The thing is, you gave advice on how NOT to be somebody else. I could actually rip the words you said, and say how I could say doing this and taht is actually superb inner game, but that wouldn't help, because YOU HAVE INNER GAME already.

Make another tip, or edit the name of this one, or the body...

Embrace everything you're interested in which isn't strictly mainstream. 99% of club girls are 100% mainstream and will gravitate towards guys who are slightly different. It doesn't matter what your outside interests are, embrace them, love them, and be passionate about them.

Click to expand...

Expand on that, it's the only place you actually tell somebody WHAT TO DO... the rest is what not to do.

Ah. I see what your saying now.

Your right. I will expand on this later, once I get an essay I'm writing out of the way.

three12.

The question is, what does it mean to be "yourself?" What you're describing doesn't sound like being any sort of self. It's fighting mainstream in an effort to be "different."

We are all out there trying to accomplish something. We are all out there with goals, ambitions, and dreams. Just saying being yourself doesn't mean anything. Because you are the product of your surroundings. People who join this site are trying to be more like DJs. In the beginning, you may have been trying to be like everyone else. And now, you're trying to be like anything but the things you've been in the past since they never worked to begin with.

I'll agree with you on setting your priorities straight as being an important part of increasing self worth, but being different isn't all there is to it.

Three12 you said what ive been meaning to say for a long time. Good job man

Update:

To add to my initial tip, I'll be talking about passion. Passion is what will really seperate you from others.

People tend to float through life, video games, reality tv, marajuana. Now, I'm not suggesting that we don't have some relaxation time. I'm suggesting that we make better use of our time.

Of course we enjoy going to the cinema, playing the latest video games and all these types of mass marketed leisure time. Finding something you love, rather then something you kill time with is what will seperate you from the norm.

I can't tell you what to be passionate about. You need to find this on your own.

To find it, you need to try different things.

Joining a new club is scary, wether its a sports club, a book club or a public speaking club, its all scary. Going to a new form of entertainment is scary, concerts, comedy shows, a festival, its all new, its all outside your comfort zone.

Unfortunantly, the comfort zone is so damn comfortable it f*cks with us.

We know that we can't be successul PUAs/DJs without living our comfort zone - and approaching. But leaving our comfort zone in all aspects of our life will make each approach more memorable for our target. You become more interesting, more comfortable and have a better ability to lead.

Finding your passion will help you to find your true self. Keep trying new things until you find something you love.

Good luck.

I look forward to hearing of your successes.

three12.

the point is that being yourself mostly isn't yourself.
you have been indoctrinated, programmed to convey, to conform. You should all drop that and start all over from zero to discover your real self. drop all knowledge you have got, doubt about everything you know, question just about everything, not in the least WHY you are doing the things and WHY you are doing them the way you do them.

it's hard; people have no idea on what is really true and what THEY MAKE THEMSELVES BELIEVE.
there's an important difference between the conscious mind and the subconcious mind. but the conscious mind can teach certain things to the subconcious mind. think for example about learning how to drive a car; at first you have to think about everything (conscious mind thus), later on everything goes automatically, you don't have to think about it anymore and everything is done by your subconscious mind. you can even chat with the person next to you in the meanwhile, because you don't really need your conscious mind to drive the car. you can use it aswell for smt else like chatting.

but sometimes certain things (things that happen, other ppl who make you believe smt, ...) make the conscious mind teach the subconscious mind something wrong, something which isnt true (for example fear of women, the fact that you're not smart, the fact u NEED nicotine, ...). because of that it's very hard to even know what's yourself and what's not. because the things you believe in might just have been taught by your conscious mind! and your conscious mind was all wrong. and then you end up believing things that aren't true. cause your subconscious mind makes you think them automatically (you can't doubt the fact anymore that you have fear of women, that you're not smart, ... just because it's was taught to ur subconscious mind at some time).

then it's hard to figure out which things are true, which things you really like etc., because you don't really have a clue: it all seems right. figuring that stuff out can be done in numerous of ways (religion, meditation, relaxation, ...).

but to prove my point i'll say this: think about the fact that weirdo hindu man can run metal spikes thru their body without any pain or even blood. how? because they have taught their subconscious mind that it's all possible... and then it is. makes me think you make your whole world the way you want it...

kinda the hard to explain, but i hope at least ONE person understood it ...

Played out.

Played out.

But you are right, it's the most misunderstood concept of all.

Otherwise, we wouldn't have to keep posting it.